Letter to pets - YorkieTalk.com Forums

ReconsMomma · 05-23-2005, 03:50 PM

A Letter to Your Pets

Dear Beloved Pets:

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I can not buy anything bigger than a king size waterbed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.

Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out to the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years---canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear pets, I have posted the following on the front door so visitors to our home know what the rules are here:

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like
Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don't!

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay of the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)

3 I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.

4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially my cats.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!

eensor · 05-23-2005, 04:04 PM

I love this!

ReconsMomma · 05-23-2005, 04:06 PM

I thought that you might all enjoy this. I got it in an email from a friend of mine.

simonandhallie · 05-23-2005, 05:39 PM

Hahahahahah So true!!!

natalie · 05-23-2005, 05:41 PM

So true!! I read this before, but boy.. I crack up everytime I do read it!!

iheartyorkies · 05-24-2005, 02:38 AM

Thanks for sharing, I love the part about sticking tails and tongues out is nothing by sarcasm. Too funny!

rrosenberry · 05-24-2005, 04:48 AM

thats cute...LOL at the " I must exit the same door I entered" haha... You'll see me again!!

kewtee · 05-24-2005, 07:04 AM

That was funny! Thank you!

Quote:

Also, I have been using the bathroom for years---canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

HAHA! My dogs will sit and stare at me while I do what I have to if I don't close the door! Why on earth do they do that? hehe

Biddy's Mom · 05-24-2005, 08:10 AM

This is priceless! LOL

bkessler · 05-24-2005, 12:01 PM

That is the best e-mail ever!!

jennifermcb · 05-24-2005, 02:30 PM

Thanks for sharing! That was precious and had me LOL. I'm off to pass it on to other Yorkie lovers!

Midge5353 · 05-24-2005, 03:04 PM

That was hilarious! Where do you get these things? LOL

ReconsMomma · 05-24-2005, 03:08 PM

A friend of mine sent it too me. I thought it was great so I had to share it.

05-23-2005, 03:50 PM	#1
ReconsMomma BANNED! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Janesville WI Posts: 2,483	Letter to pets A Letter to Your Pets Dear Beloved Pets: The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. I can not buy anything bigger than a king size waterbed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out to the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, bark, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years---canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. The proper order is to kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough! To return the kindness of your obedience, my dear pets, I have posted the following on the front door so visitors to our home know what the rules are here: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like Complain About Our Pets 1. They live here. You don't! 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay of the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.) 3 I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, and walk on all fours. Although they don't speak clearly, they communicate extremely well, especially my cats. 5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called (this does not apply to cats), never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don't smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, don’t wear your clothes, and don't need a gazillion dollars for college. Also, if they get pregnant, you can sell the children!

05-23-2005, 04:04 PM	#2
eensor YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Effingham, Illinois Posts: 2,535	I love this! __________________ I'd rather be in Mexico!

05-24-2005, 02:38 AM	#6
iheartyorkies Boppin' Bo! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Indiana Posts: 2,719	Thanks for sharing, I love the part about sticking tails and tongues out is nothing by sarcasm. Too funny! __________________ ~~~ i yorkies ~~~ Cynthia Turbo and Suri!

05-24-2005, 04:48 AM	#7
rrosenberry & Bailey & Bella Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 8,164	thats cute...LOL at the " I must exit the same door I entered" haha... You'll see me again!! __________________ Rhonda, Bailey, Josie and my angel Bella Rue' "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~Anatole France~

05-24-2005, 08:10 AM	#9
Biddy's Mom and Tucker's too! Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 2,134	This is priceless! LOL __________________ Jessica, Biddy, Tucker & Gertie

05-23-2005, 04:06 PM	#3
ReconsMomma BANNED! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Janesville WI Posts: 2,483	I thought that you might all enjoy this. I got it in an email from a friend of mine.

05-23-2005, 05:39 PM	#4
simonandhallie *I Love My Monkeys!* Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Falling Waters, WV Posts: 11,166	Hahahahahah So true!!!

05-23-2005, 05:41 PM	#5
natalie Owned by Fred Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 1,352	So true!! I read this before, but boy.. I crack up everytime I do read it!!

05-24-2005, 12:01 PM	#10
bkessler Mommy's Little Angel Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Northern New Jersey Posts: 1,496	That is the best e-mail ever!! __________________ Brooke & Lily Mae (Maltipoo) Mocha (12/23/04-6/25/05)

05-24-2005, 02:30 PM	#11
jennifermcb Charmed by Sophie & Daisy Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: North Alabama Posts: 593	Thanks for sharing! That was precious and had me LOL. I'm off to pass it on to other Yorkie lovers!

05-24-2005, 03:04 PM	#12
Midge5353 BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: North East Ohio Posts: 1,297	That was hilarious! Where do you get these things? LOL

05-24-2005, 03:08 PM	#13
ReconsMomma BANNED! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Janesville WI Posts: 2,483	A friend of mine sent it too me. I thought it was great so I had to share it.