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02-27-2007, 09:30 AM | #1 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: LA
Posts: 989
| Only us girls could understand this...... When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of >>>women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, >>>you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. >>>Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman >>>leaving the stall. >>> >>>You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has >>>been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the >>>modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but >>>empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but >>>there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, >>>(Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank >>>down your pants, and assume " The Stance." >>> >>>In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. >>>You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the >>>seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." >>> >>>To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you >>>discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can >>>hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the >>>seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake >>>more. >>> >>>You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the >>>one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, >>>that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the >>>same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way >>>possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail . >>> >>>Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door >>>hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your >>>chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the >>>toilet. >>> >>>"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your >>>precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your >>>footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. >>> >>>It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too >>>late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and >>>life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper >>>- not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know >>>that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're >>>certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, >>>frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could >>>get." >>> >>>By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so >>>confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose >>>against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that >>>covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. >>> >>>The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab >>>onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. >>> >>>At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the >>>wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper >>>you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the >>>sinks. >>> >>>You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic >>>sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk >>>past the line of women still waiting. >>> >>>You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the >>>very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from >>>your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from >>>your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you >>>just might need this." >>> >>>As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and >>>left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and >>>why is your purse hanging around your neck?" >>> >>>This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms >>>(rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men >>>what really does take us so long. >>> >>>It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go >>>to the restroom in pairs. >>> >>>It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand >>>you Kleenex under the door! >>> >>> >>> |
Welcome Guest! | |
02-27-2007, 10:00 AM | #2 |
Love The Verminator! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: ny
Posts: 4,282
| Wow, does that speak the truth, or what? Hilarious
__________________ Roxy loves Alphy Remi loves Millie [COLOR="Purple"]Mom to RoxyJo & Remington , Fozzy Bear & Chloe |
02-27-2007, 10:15 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 4,591
| OMG, that was flippin' hilarious!!! Thanks for making me laugh, I needed it
__________________ Eva and her keikis: Hokule'a, Kalani & Pi'ilani |
02-27-2007, 10:23 AM | #4 |
With Indy In My Heart Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 8,442
| ROFL!! OMGoodness this is soooo true!! |
02-27-2007, 10:27 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 4,549
| BRAVO This is why I started using the MEN'S bathroom!!! Just Kidding!
__________________ CAROL ~ Krissie ~ Toby ~ Brandy ~ Buffy Proud member of Maltesetalk and Yorkietalk |
02-27-2007, 10:38 AM | #6 |
No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK
Posts: 16,218
| I am sitting here LMAO. When you see the things ours mothers have said to us so many years ago in print it's hysterical. That is the funniet thing I have read in ages. Thanks for sharing. Carol & Buddy |
02-27-2007, 11:02 AM | #8 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| ive heard this before, but the oddest thing is the toilet seat has no germs compared to the knobs in those bathrooms...door knobs, etc.... so next time,, dont worry so much ladies.
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
02-28-2007, 06:39 AM | #9 |
Addicted to Tetley Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 964
| It's so true! |
02-28-2007, 07:39 AM | #10 |
Owned by 3 furballs Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 6,581
| Couldn't be any more ACCURATE
__________________ Bobbi Yorkietalk http://www.dogster.com/dogs/395435 And now........little Aja too! http://www.picturetrail.com/sfx/album/view/23776545 |
02-28-2007, 08:54 AM | #11 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: wasco/bakersfield
Posts: 1,244
| omg that was hilarious and truthful, i cannot belive that it true and men still dont understand and they say oh yeah its hard going to the bathroom, now imagie that with 2 kids who are learning to go potty and theya re 2 and have no idea what germs are and they touch everything, sometimes im like nooooo keep your diapers one pleaseeeeeee, but thanks for that it was funny
__________________ FRANKIE THE LUMPKINS MOMMY |
02-28-2007, 09:08 AM | #12 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Nottinghamshire-UK
Posts: 474
| That is so funny but soooooo right.I am going to show it to my Hubby when he comes in just to prove I'm not making it up
__________________ midnightmist ELLIE http://www.myspace.com/yorkie_luvr TRIXIE |
02-28-2007, 09:11 AM | #13 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: n.c.
Posts: 600
| Lol!!!!!
__________________ Uma, Yoko and Yannis' Mom |
02-28-2007, 02:49 PM | #14 |
Mojo, LilyGrace & Me Donating Member Moderator Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: cuddling with my babies<3
Posts: 17,329
| So funny! Thanks for sharing!
__________________ Hi I'm Jenn Mom to..... Mojo,LilyGrace & DD Kate RIP Mojo FOREVER in our hearts! |
02-28-2007, 07:04 PM | #15 |
I love my lil wolf! ;) Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Washington
Posts: 2,434
| Hahaha omg that situation.. has had to happen to every woman at least once in their lives!! |
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