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01-06-2007, 08:26 AM | #16 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Flowery Branch, Georgia
Posts: 227
| I went thru this myself Lou: Three years ago, I went thru this myself. Here are a few things that I learned that may be of help to you: 1. If at all possible, find you a good geriatric psychiatrist in Florida, who can make sure your mom is taking the right combination of meds. Believe me sometimes we had to change my mom's medications several times in a six month period, before we found the right combo for her. 2. Talk to someone in social services or the nurses station where your mom is staying and build a good rapport with them, so anytime night or day you are thinking about your mom or worried, you can pick up the phone and call. 3. Know that you are doing the very best that you can and be at peace with yourself at that. 4. check around in your own city for any organization, groups, hospital, or church for like people in the same situation, you will be surprised at the help and understanding that you will find. 5. you are not alone in the boat. It's going to take a little research, but there are great people that are more than willilng to help you and your mom. 6. At last and most important, and this is an absolute must...take some time every day for just Lou. Do something just for yourself. I was in the same situation, as I had no one to help me with my mom and it was overwhelming at times, but thru prayer and help from the right people you will get through this.. If you every want to talk just PM and I will give you my e-mail address. My heart and prayers are with you...It's like dealing with two deaths...one of their personality and the last one their body...You prepare yourself mentally for their death, but you can never prepare your heart... Lynn |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-06-2007, 05:30 PM | #17 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Rockland county, NY
Posts: 1,306
| My mother passed away on Aug. 1st. , 20 years after being diagnosed with Alzheimers. When she was first diagnosed, we knew exactly what was in store for us since we watched her mother ( my grandmother) battle the same disease. Its heartbreaking to see a parent disappear mentally right before you very eyes. Luckily, I was able to build a little apartment downstair in house for my mother and my father because there was NO WAY my father would have been able to take care my mother by himself.. She became extremely violent towards him and we had to watch her very carefully. My mother was a health-nut all her life so her body was in extremely good condition. She was only 55 when first diagnosed and had unbelieveable strength. At first, it will be difficult for you until you begin understand her reactions, but it does get easier. Also, not every person reacts the same way, she may become very docile. If you need to talk please don't hesitate to "pm" me, sometimes it helps just to talk.
__________________ ********************* Nedda & My Girls Desi & Millie & my boy Ricky |
01-06-2007, 09:31 PM | #18 |
Our Blessings R Many Donating Member | [QUOTE=yougetthesmiles]My mom and I take care of 2 elderly ladies who both have Alzheimers. It's a private home and we take care of them in my moms home, both ladies live here with my parents 24/7 and I come in 7 days a week for 8-4 and do the morning and afternoon routine.QUOTE] Dear Missy, Bless you and your parents. Patti and Jack |
01-07-2007, 05:38 AM | #19 | |
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED | [QUOTE=Baby Blessing] Quote:
Sometimes my day is a big challange, but this is what I love to do and I get so attached to these ladies and when it's time for them to become an angel, I know they will be looking over me. In the mean time we make sure that their remaining years on this earth is love, happiness and warmth. | |
01-08-2007, 08:20 AM | #20 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| I don't know what to say in response to all of you. Thank you so much. I am fortunate to have a son and daughter-in-law living in Florida and they visit Mom from time to time. The facility will call them when mom runs out of test strips and such. So I feel good about that. Unfortunately they too are devils and avoid her as much as they can. They helped take care of her before she went into senior living care. I think I could take this whole thing a lot better if I hadn't gone through a 7 year battle with bone cancer with my mil. Her two sons weren't a lot of help either. She no sooner died then my husband had to start having back surgeries. (three so far) He is on so much medicine that it is hard to deal with him a lot of the times. If I really think about it I guess I have to say I've been through the ringer but the strong survive don't they? I'm just having trouble dealing with being hated by the woman who thought the world of her little (only) girl. Sometimes I get so mad at my father for dying that I just want to scream at him for not being here to deal with her. She has sundowners too. It is really bad. That is when she is her most abusive. So far she hasn't hurt anyone where she lives but if she does she will have to go to a nursing home. She slapped my daughter-in-law and then took to her bed all day the next day crying. Sigh. I never thought I would look forward to the day my mother passes away, but then that woman isn't really my mother. My mother died three years ago and left this retched old woman in her body. I have to go now, I need to stop crying. Hugs to each of you. L |
01-09-2007, 06:18 AM | #21 |
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED | I wish I could say the right words to make you feel better, but I dont have any. Your right, that person is not your mother anymore, this aweful disease has taken your mom. It's so sad and so hard to deal with. I have only delt with one that was very mean and she was rotten. The 2 we have now are pretty sweet, but the one can be orniary. Sending you hugs! |
01-14-2007, 08:17 PM | #22 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| Thanks again to all of you who responded to my message I will be e-mailing a few of you soon. I can use the support. Lynn, your advice is very welcome and your last paragraph tells it all it truly is like loosing her twice. Thanks again. |
01-14-2007, 08:36 PM | #23 |
Dogs Rule Cats Drool! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 7,895
| Lou, My heart goes out to you...cause I know what your going through, My Aunt just passed away last week with it, and my other Aunt(raised my dad) that lives across the street from me has it and now my dad has been diagnosed with it...It is so hard and scary when your doing it all yourself...My Aunt has kids but none that are close to her and its just me and my sister for my dad, my mom has RA and we are worried about her also...It really sucks for your parents to get older....but they took care of us, so now its our turn...I am here for you if you ever need to talk....
__________________ KIM |
01-15-2007, 09:17 AM | #24 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: A little town south of Chicago
Posts: 4,525
| OMG Peanut, You must be scared to death about it being hereditary! I wouldn't care if I got it but I hate the thought of my kids having to go through it with me. The oldest has already been throughout the ringer. His wife (My beloved daughter-in-law) has had more trouble than any of us. She was the first devil. Mom hates her and all Renee has ever done was be nice to her. Mom is accusing her of stealing all of her money. (She doesn't have any.) Did you find that at first the Alzheimers victim acts normal away from home? We had no end of trouble from Mom's church friends. Mom would tell them these outlandish tales and they would believe it. Most of them treated Renee like a criminal. Now that it is so obvious do you think any of them want to apologize? Of course not. Sigh. I can understand caring about your church friends but this was just a bunch of old biddies sticking their noses in to family affairs. I get so mad when I think about them. On another note I called Mom last night and she hung up on me as soon as she realized it was me. Of course I cried fro the rest of the night. My dh can't stand seeing me that way and he has enough trouble of his own to deal with. I was a basket case. BUT little Adie helped me out of it. She knew something was wrong with Mommy and wouldn't leave me alone. She nagged me until I broke down and played with her. She loves "go fetch" and everytime she brought the ball back to me she would drop it and give me a kiss. I never taught her that one! Thanks for talking to me. I hope things go smoothly for you. |
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