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11-11-2006, 09:33 AM | #1 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Rockwell, NC
Posts: 465
| Southern Humor Subject: It's Not Always Wise to Call Grandma as a Witness Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't prepared for an honest answer. In a trial, a Southern Small-Town Prosecuting Attorney called his first witness, A Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your Wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense Attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his Wife with three different Women, one of them was your Wife. Yes, I know him." The Defense Attorney almost died. The Judge asked both Counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you Idiots asks her if she knows Me, I'll send you BOTH to the Electric Chair"
__________________ Phipps' Pretty Pooches Rockwell, NC 28138 |
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11-11-2006, 10:55 AM | #2 |
Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
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__________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy |
11-11-2006, 02:02 PM | #3 |
And Tila, too! Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Cali
Posts: 620
| hahaha!!! LOVE it! |
11-11-2006, 02:17 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| LOL That was cute |
11-12-2006, 07:56 AM | #6 |
My Best Friend Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: oklahoma
Posts: 2,258
| LOL!!!!! Loved it made me smile.
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11-12-2006, 08:22 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| I am a G.R.I.T.S. (girl/grandma raised/retired in the South)! So I got a laugh out of that one.
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard |
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