[Dawgcrazee]

Subject: It's Not Always Wise to Call Grandma as a Witness



Lawyers should never ask a Southern Grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for an honest answer.

In a trial, a Southern Small-Town Prosecuting Attorney called his first
witness, A Grandmotherly, Elderly Woman, to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your Wife, and you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the Defense Attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
his Wife with three different Women, one of them was your Wife. Yes, I know
him."

The Defense Attorney almost died.

The Judge asked both Counselors to approach the bench and, in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you Idiots asks her if she knows Me,
I'll send you BOTH to the Electric Chair"