Mothers of adult sons am I wrong... - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

doortego · 10-13-2006, 07:02 AM

Hi Bruce's Mom,

You broke my heart with your post. You have let this guy do such a number on you. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. He is just a minor bump in the road even if it has you rattled right now.

I looked up your dogster site & your personal info and see that you are a beautiful 20 something with a loving family & Bruce. Sweetie, hold on for the guy that wants to be your husband to love, honor & protect you. You must first of all learn to respect yourself, don't let a guy use you to satisfy himself, physically, financially, or emotionally.

God has created someone special for you. I pray that you will allow God to make all things beautiful in His time. Don't settle for the world's substitute. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls forfeit God's plan and settle for what the world offers.

RLC12345678 · 10-13-2006, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doortego

Hi Bruce's Mom,

You broke my heart with your post. You have let this guy do such a number on you. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. He is just a minor bump in the road even if it has you rattled right now.

I looked up your dogster site & your personal info and see that you are a beautiful 20 something with a loving family & Bruce. Sweetie, hold on for the guy that wants to be your husband to love, honor & protect you. You must first of all learn to respect yourself, don't let a guy use you to satisfy himself, physically, financially, or emotionally.

God has created someone special for you. I pray that you will allow God to make all things beautiful in His time. Don't settle for the world's substitute. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls forfeit God's plan and settle for what the world offers.

That was beautiful and I could not agree more!!!!!! You need a man that will love you like Jesus loves the Church, which is with all his heart and soul and unconditionally and above all else (except for God of course), INCLUDING ABOVE HIS MOTHER! This man obviously DOES NOT do that! You deserve so much better.

Latuya · 10-13-2006, 08:24 AM

Well, I am a mother to a son. He's only 13 but I do find myself already judgmental when it comes to these girls. My husband tells me I can't be that way. But I can't help it! He's my only boy. I have 2 girls and although I'm very protective, my 16 year old does have a boyfriend and I am fine with it. He seems to be a good kid and as long as he is good to my daughter, I am ok with it. But my son on the other hand,,, is a different story. He still is too young for a relationship and hasn't come home with a girl besides friends that have been around since they were little. But there was this one time he invited on of the friends who brought a friend. This little girl liked my Timmy and did everything to get his attention. I got a bad vib about this girl right off the bat. And seen how aggressive she was at such a young age. Boy,,, I did keep my eye on them the whole time! My husband says I'm going to be one of these mothers who thinks no girl is going to be good enough for her son. I don't see that happening. I would never ask my son to do what this guy is doing to you. My son is a mommy's boy but I would never stand in is way of happiness.

I've seen first hand what damage a meddling mother can do. My dad came down with polio when he was 3 and when he was 7 he had an head injury which caused him to have epilepsy which caused violent grand mal seizures if not controlled by medication. My dad was a very handsome young man and was quite the chick magnet. But with his illness, he didn't think they would stay around once they witnessed a seizure. So he never thought of dating, let alone marriage and kids. But when he met my mom all that changed. He was upfront with her and even after she seen first hand how bad his seizures can get she stood by his side. They snuck off and got married without telling anyone. He was 25 and was happy. But his mother did not let go. She would call everyday to make sure he was taking his meds. She would even come and look through their frig and point out all the stuff my dad shouldn't be eating. Yeah she was that bad. And when I came along,,, for get it. She jumped in and just took over. My mom just couldn't do right by this woman. And eventually it's what ended the marriage.

I would have a long talk with the guy. If he's already told you that his mother will always come first I would have say,,,,, move on. Tell him I hope you and your mother have a happy life together and leave him. I would much rather be alone then to come in second in someones heart. There's no way I would be in a relationship that I would have to compete with him mother! Best of luck you to!!!

karensu68 · 10-13-2006, 02:31 PM

[QUOTE=Bruce's_Mom]It is I think time to move on...This is just a bit hard for me. For the past three years of this relationship I have held out a lot of hope, because I genuinely love this person. For the past three years I have forgiven him for: abandoning me when I need him most, for breaking up with me at nearly every significant time in my life (day of law school graduation, my birthday, numerous other times), for putting me behind every other person and thing in his life, for refusing to accept responsibility for himself, for thinking about no one but himself (except for maybe mommy), for taking advantage of me financially, for putting me down, etc. QUOTE]

First off let me say...It feels kind of weird to be commenting when I have never spoken to you but your post really touched me because my friend went thru something like this...but she married the guy, and sadly it has not changed for her. But what really made me want to comment was you saying that he has broken up with you at nearly every significant time in your life. You think maybe that he has broken up with you then because he knows he can not be the man you need...he KNOWS you want him there at the "big" days...but he also knows that he is not able to be free of his mom. maybe he thinks breaking up with you is easier than disappointing you with his no-shows. And I am by no means justifying what he has done, personally I think he needs to grow a spine..but hey that is just me! Deep down you know what is right for you..and you will do what you need to do, in the end. My thoughts and prayers are with you..keep your chin up, everything happens for a reason.

SweetCuteness · 10-13-2006, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doortego

Hi Bruce's Mom,

You broke my heart with your post. You have let this guy do such a number on you. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. He is just a minor bump in the road even if it has you rattled right now.

I looked up your dogster site & your personal info and see that you are a beautiful 20 something with a loving family & Bruce. Sweetie, hold on for the guy that wants to be your husband to love, honor & protect you. You must first of all learn to respect yourself, don't let a guy use you to satisfy himself, physically, financially, or emotionally.

God has created someone special for you. I pray that you will allow God to make all things beautiful in His time. Don't settle for the world's substitute. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls forfeit God's plan and settle for what the world offers.

What a great post! It broke my heart to read this also - I've been there. I know how it feels to deeply love someone and have them walk all over you or abandon you. Keep your head up - from an outside prospective, it seems that you should really try to let go. I think I remember you writing that you'll be moving to Seattle soon - there are a ton of men in Seattle that I'm sure would love to respect you and treat you like a "princess." As hard as it will be to let go, you don't want to spend the rest of your life unhappy and unsupported. Best of luck!!!

Bruce's_Mom · 10-13-2006, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by karensu68

First off let me say...It feels kind of weird to be commenting when I have never spoken to you but your post really touched me because my friend went thru something like this...but she married the guy, and sadly it has not changed for her. But what really made me want to comment was you saying that he has broken up with you at nearly every significant time in your life. You think maybe that he has broken up with you then because he knows he can not be the man you need...he KNOWS you want him there at the "big" days...but he also knows that he is not able to be free of his mom. maybe he thinks breaking up with you is easier than disappointing you with his no-shows. And I am by no means justifying what he has done, personally I think he needs to grow a spine..but hey that is just me! Deep down you know what is right for you..and you will do what you need to do, in the end. My thoughts and prayers are with you..keep your chin up, everything happens for a reason.

Actually the reason he does this is because he thinks that it "makes you a better person to not always have what you want, and to go through things alone" so apparently he is trying to help me. Then inevitably like clock work he will be back exactly 3 weeks later in order to reap the benefits of having someone there for him. I love him I do, but he is sort of a user, he has learned it from his mother so I do not fault him too much, and he does intentionally cruel things to me and I have tried for too long to overcompensate but the real thing I have to accept is you cannot make someone love you, and just because they say they do does not mean that they do.

On another note I already do live in Seattle, and trust me not a lot of dates to be had here. However, I think this experience has pretty much taken me out of commission in terms of dating for quite a long time.

Thank you all for your support. This month has already just had a lot of bad news for me!

Nikko's_human · 10-13-2006, 06:01 PM

Your post brought back some painful memories for me. I was in a three year relationship with a man who did not love me for me. I was extremely thin and he liked full, curvy women. I hated my body to begin with and he made sure I hated it even more. He cheated on me, lied to me, took advantage of me financially, but still I held on for fear of being alone. I invested 3 very important years on this man, hoping I would get marriage and family out of him. All I did was waste 3 valuable years of my life. I felt like I would be alone forever, but a month after I finally dumped that loser I met the love of my life, my husband. My advice to you is this: you have a lot of things going for you. You are an intelligent and professional young woman who is in the prime of her life. You deserve someone who values you and puts you on a pedestal, not someone who puts you down. Don't be afraid of moving on because you fear being alone. It is better to be alone and happy than with someone who makes you feel bad. You will find that special someone, but only if you set yourself free to do so. Good luck to you.

10-13-2006, 07:02 AM	#31
doortego Little Bit & Buttons Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: US Posts: 2,160	Oh My! Hi Bruce's Mom, You broke my heart with your post. You have let this guy do such a number on you. You are so young and have so much ahead of you. He is just a minor bump in the road even if it has you rattled right now. I looked up your dogster site & your personal info and see that you are a beautiful 20 something with a loving family & Bruce. Sweetie, hold on for the guy that wants to be your husband to love, honor & protect you. You must first of all learn to respect yourself, don't let a guy use you to satisfy himself, physically, financially, or emotionally. God has created someone special for you. I pray that you will allow God to make all things beautiful in His time. Don't settle for the world's substitute. It breaks my heart to see so many young girls forfeit God's plan and settle for what the world offers.

10-13-2006, 08:24 AM	#33
Latuya YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Rialto CA Posts: 3,243	Well, I am a mother to a son. He's only 13 but I do find myself already judgmental when it comes to these girls. My husband tells me I can't be that way. But I can't help it! He's my only boy. I have 2 girls and although I'm very protective, my 16 year old does have a boyfriend and I am fine with it. He seems to be a good kid and as long as he is good to my daughter, I am ok with it. But my son on the other hand,,, is a different story. He still is too young for a relationship and hasn't come home with a girl besides friends that have been around since they were little. But there was this one time he invited on of the friends who brought a friend. This little girl liked my Timmy and did everything to get his attention. I got a bad vib about this girl right off the bat. And seen how aggressive she was at such a young age. Boy,,, I did keep my eye on them the whole time! My husband says I'm going to be one of these mothers who thinks no girl is going to be good enough for her son. I don't see that happening. I would never ask my son to do what this guy is doing to you. My son is a mommy's boy but I would never stand in is way of happiness. I've seen first hand what damage a meddling mother can do. My dad came down with polio when he was 3 and when he was 7 he had an head injury which caused him to have epilepsy which caused violent grand mal seizures if not controlled by medication. My dad was a very handsome young man and was quite the chick magnet. But with his illness, he didn't think they would stay around once they witnessed a seizure. So he never thought of dating, let alone marriage and kids. But when he met my mom all that changed. He was upfront with her and even after she seen first hand how bad his seizures can get she stood by his side. They snuck off and got married without telling anyone. He was 25 and was happy. But his mother did not let go. She would call everyday to make sure he was taking his meds. She would even come and look through their frig and point out all the stuff my dad shouldn't be eating. Yeah she was that bad. And when I came along,,, for get it. She jumped in and just took over. My mom just couldn't do right by this woman. And eventually it's what ended the marriage. I would have a long talk with the guy. If he's already told you that his mother will always come first I would have say,,,,, move on. Tell him I hope you and your mother have a happy life together and leave him. I would much rather be alone then to come in second in someones heart. There's no way I would be in a relationship that I would have to compete with him mother! Best of luck you to!!! __________________ Monica, Proud mom of Gus who is forever missed! And new mom to Leiloni Gus's Dogster page

10-13-2006, 06:01 PM	#37
Nikko's_human Proudly owned by Nikko Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Bronx, New York Posts: 768	Your post brought back some painful memories for me. I was in a three year relationship with a man who did not love me for me. I was extremely thin and he liked full, curvy women. I hated my body to begin with and he made sure I hated it even more. He cheated on me, lied to me, took advantage of me financially, but still I held on for fear of being alone. I invested 3 very important years on this man, hoping I would get marriage and family out of him. All I did was waste 3 valuable years of my life. I felt like I would be alone forever, but a month after I finally dumped that loser I met the love of my life, my husband. My advice to you is this: you have a lot of things going for you. You are an intelligent and professional young woman who is in the prime of her life. You deserve someone who values you and puts you on a pedestal, not someone who puts you down. Don't be afraid of moving on because you fear being alone. It is better to be alone and happy than with someone who makes you feel bad. You will find that special someone, but only if you set yourself free to do so. Good luck to you. __________________ NIKKO and his mommy NECEE

10-13-2006, 02:31 PM	#34
karensu68 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 409	[QUOTE=Bruce's_Mom]It is I think time to move on...This is just a bit hard for me. For the past three years of this relationship I have held out a lot of hope, because I genuinely love this person. For the past three years I have forgiven him for: abandoning me when I need him most, for breaking up with me at nearly every significant time in my life (day of law school graduation, my birthday, numerous other times), for putting me behind every other person and thing in his life, for refusing to accept responsibility for himself, for thinking about no one but himself (except for maybe mommy), for taking advantage of me financially, for putting me down, etc. QUOTE] First off let me say...It feels kind of weird to be commenting when I have never spoken to you but your post really touched me because my friend went thru something like this...but she married the guy, and sadly it has not changed for her. But what really made me want to comment was you saying that he has broken up with you at nearly every significant time in your life. You think maybe that he has broken up with you then because he knows he can not be the man you need...he KNOWS you want him there at the "big" days...but he also knows that he is not able to be free of his mom. maybe he thinks breaking up with you is easier than disappointing you with his no-shows. And I am by no means justifying what he has done, personally I think he needs to grow a spine..but hey that is just me! Deep down you know what is right for you..and you will do what you need to do, in the end. My thoughts and prayers are with you..keep your chin up, everything happens for a reason.