Just Venting

[dezertblu]

O.k. long story short, I am 36, I have lived all over the world in my lifetime...and am friendly and outgoing.....to people of all shapes sizes and beliefs...I am always there fr the "underdog, and lend a helping hand to my "neighbor"....ok knowing this about me....I have lived in England since Sept 2002, I am American by birth. I lived in a place called Westgate in Weardale first, its as rural as it gets and the Village population is less than the number of sheep on one hill.I made friends there quite easily, and had no troubles what so ever fitting into my new English life.We had to move due to employment reasons, so here I am, I have lived in hartlepool UK since July 2004, yet other than the occassional "aquaintance" made when I was at work, which ended when my work ended...not that I didn't try to stay friends and in touch...I have not a single real world friend.....and not for lack of doing things to try.The neighbors on either side of our home are very nice very friendly people, whom I say hi to and ackknowledge when I see them out in the back, where our yards adjoin.Englands now in the World Cup.....and standing up and looking out my upper story window...you can see people all over my neighborhood, partying, B.B.Q.ing, tons of pals over, music, laughter, ect.....yet no one has invited us to "come on over" or join in, it was the same on Bon Fire night, big parties and cookouts, fireworks, ect...but no invite.Hell the neighbor two houses down owes me a bit of friendliness, as we saved thier house from burning to the ground about a month ago.It was 3a.m. and the whole neighborhood was truely asleep, nothing stirring ect, I awoke to our collie barking , and upon going to my upper story window I noticed the blaze, it had caught trees in thier yard, the shed, ect.....I called the fire dept, I knocked on thier door and got them up from thier slumber.....no one one either side of us knew there was a fire until the engines rolled in sirens blairing.Anyways....no prob, would hope the same woulda happened for us.The dirrect to the right neighbor is always coming over and asking my hubby to come lend a hand, as he doesnt know how to do handy man work and hubby is expert at it.No prob......anyways the point of this is.....Im both upset and hurt over this not being invited to gatherings in our neighborhood, its not like its personal family stuff, these are things that the entire nation celebrates!Do I have a big sign on my forehead that says Im a loser, am I some scarey villan looking person?? You be the judge.....please dont be offended by the seemingly toppless pic,as Im actually in a strapless tube top wore low, it was a modeling job I did for a very large sanitary pad company which will remain namelss due to contracts signed.The point of these pics is....do I look unapproachable?? am I that scarey or unwelcoming in my appearance..I'm just trying to figure out why I in 2 years of living somewhere I can't integrate and make friends.I already know my personality is friendly..so I am wondeing if it's how i look.

[mustangbee]

I think your pictures are great!
How about talking to your neighbor's and planning
a big street party. Lot's of fun, and I'm sure it will
give you a chance to meet people.
It's been long enough, I don't know why you didn't
get invited to gatherings. We have get togethers all
the time, and in the summer it's about every two weeks.
It just takes some planning.
Hang in there, you're YT Family is here!

[Gazou]

You look good . I just move in a very small city and It is very funny to see the peoples looking at me . It is just like a stranger !
I can tell you that they will have a surprise monday morning when they'll realize that I am the new vet assistant of one of the 3 vets on location .

[red98vett]

Girl - I agree - you need to throw your OWN HUGE PARTY - invite em all - see how it goes and that may break the ice for you. It sounds like you're being left out and that would bother me too -

the pictures looked good - I know they're professional pictures and you were doing that sultry thing - but people will respond to geniuine smiles that reach the eyes.... so those pictures are deceiving...lol - GREAT Looking - but probably not the YOU that someone would see in person...

so I would have to think it IS NOT YOU - it's maybe just your neighbors - do you think they may be intimidated by you ? Maybe they think you have lots to do already ?

and Steve ...CONGRATULATIONS on your new job !! (I'm sure if I saw you - I'd be staring too - remember - I've SEEN your pic and you are worth staring at hehe)

[stinky]

Well, it’s not your looks and you seem to be a very nice person. I’m sorry this is troubling you. It sounds like you are still relatively new to this town and could be that the people are very private? It may just take time for them to warm up to you. In the meantime you still have your YT buddies.

[Gazou]

and Steve ...CONGRATULATIONS on your new job !! (I'm sure if I saw you - I'd be staring too - remember - I've SEEN your pic and you are worth staring at hehe)[/QUOTE]


Hey V , will you say a stranger too !

[dezertblu]

I have been here 2 years, I have tried the invite them over bit, no one showed....the pic of me in the dress is genuine, thats just a regular pic of me.

[yorkieheart]

You are very pretty and aproachable! Sometimes people dont like others who are nice and just are rotten to you! Im also a pretty nice person always sticking up for my friends and family and no matter how nice i am some people cant handle that kind of attitude! Im sorry people are treating you like that but hopefully soon they'll change. Maybe ask them whats going on between you guys and try to settle it but if there gonna act like that none of them are worth it!

[txshopper73]

I like Gina's suggestion!

[Patti]

Your pics are beautiful! Maybe it's jealousy sometimes people are afraid to invite a pretty newcomer into their lives. You have been nothing but knid and generous to me here on YT and it is their loss. Do they talk to your husband?

[Jaspermom]

OK, call me crazy, but this is my take on your situation.

You will always be an American. It is not your fault, it is your birth country. Unfortunately there are prejudices out there in this world that may disinclude you from gaining friends in your British neighborhood.

How about starting an "American Dog Person in England" club? There may be other Yanks out there that need some friends too! You can put up posters in pet related retailers, groomers, vets, etc with your contact info! I bet you can pull some folks together for playdates, meetups, etc!

Honey, you know darn well that if I lived near you I would be AT YOUR HOUSE partying with you RIGHT NOW!!! I am sorry that you are feeling a little down about this. Make some effort to make your own friends, and to heck with the snooty neighbors!!

Good luck, sweetie! And rememeber, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!

[dezertblu]

I ussually can "Tune" it all out, but this World Cup things a big deal here..and all I hear on all sides of me is people laughing and having a hell of a good time....I love my hubby and my pets, but I get 24/7 of them year in year out..no other people cept the in laws, and being a people person..this reveling outside is driving me crazy!!I will get through..and yeah I will try for the doggy people here!Thanks

[Rae Rae]

I think your neighbors are shady, and while it probably hurts that they can't invite you, dont let it get to you (yeah easier said than done). I mean if they dont need or want you, why should you need or want them. And you dont want them to invite you just because they feel like they have too, then it would be akward.

BUt if you really do want to have parties w/ them and stuff, maybe host a bbq and invite them over, then see if they return the favor to you. If not, then honestly dont even stress over it, its not worth it.

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by dezertblu

I have been here 2 years, I have tried the invite them over bit, no one showed....the pic of me in the dress is genuine, thats just a regular pic of me.

awwww...that DOES suck and maybe it is because you're American ? You're getting good ideas in this thread - and someone said it better than me - maybe they ARE jealous ? I was trying to beat around the bush saying that - I would hate to think people would be that small minded....

What about Crashing one of their parties - just walk up and introduce yourself ?

[dezertblu]

I garuntee there is nothing about me to be jealous over....cept maybe my lovely husband and 3 beautiful doggys.....we are the poor folks on the block, and where everyone elses house exudes the fact that they spent way too much money on fixing thiers up, ours is the scar on the street....you think thier judging me by my house?? I have no control over my house, as its actually not mine, we just live in it.I would buy the bit about being American, because I do know many people in this town begrudge the war and blame America.