What would you do in this situation?

[Brutus'mama]

My son Vincent is 7 and I have twin girls the same age as him that live down the street from me. I don't like them. They're bratty, sneaky, pushy, disrespectful, and did I mention I don't like them?

Anyway for some reason one of them doesn't like Vincent. He's very laid back and really just an all around sweet boy. I'm not saying this because he's my son either. My daughter is kind of the opposite!

This little brat, I mean girl is always in his face telling him she doesn't like him etc. He usually just ignores her and goes on with his business but the other day he turned his back on her and she PUNCHED him in the back! After she did it she ran home real fast before I could say anything. I'm kind of a hothead especially if you're messing with my kids and I told Vincent that if she touches him again that he can hit her back.

Then I changed my mind and told him that if she hits him to grab her hard and tell her if she ever does it again he will hit her and he will hit her hard!

Now I'm not sure about any of it. Vincent is doing very well in Karate and "technically" could kick her butt, but that's not what I want. But I also don't want kids hitting him and him doing nothing. I'm so afraid of bullys even though our school system has zero tolerance for it. His master instructors teach the kids self-discipline and to avoid fighting but all bets are off once someone puts their hands on you.

I want to try and have them work it out on their own before I have to talk to their mother. She's never around. She just opens her door and lets her kids out and never watches them. All she cares about is spending money on clothes and stuff and I'm afraid if I confront her about this it could get ugly. I don't want that either because we have to see each other.

I think I'm rambling now but what would you do?

[chachi]

At that age I would tell the parent. They need to know that their daughter is doing that

[GeorgiesMomma]

I would definintly inform the childs parent. I would also tell Vincent like I told my nephew she must have a crush on you since she is picking on you. My brother when he was younger was bullied by a girl and he hit her with his lunch box (my Mom did not tell him to do this). She never bothered him again. However, I wouldn't suggest the same thing for your son. Teach him (as much as you want him to hit her with his lunch box) to be the bigger person and how to talk things out. Oh and someone apparently needs to teach the little girl the same thing!

[shecass]

I'm so sorry. It constantly amazes me at how mean kids can be to each other. If it happens again I would most definitely talk to the mother to see if anything can be done that way.

I went through something similiar with my youngest stepson years ago. I don't even remember what I said to the kid but he was being very mean and bratty to Sam well his father comes up and we have a civil conversation. The kids mother wanted to call the cops because he told her I threaten him which I didn't.

I told him he wasn't welcome at my house any longer if he couldn't be nice and respectful that I didn't put up with that from my kids and I wasn't going to put up with it from someone elses either.

Of course, he added a lot more to it.

Anyway sorry for rambling. I would have your son pratcing his karate while she is around and it might scare her. This may be something if it doesn't stop that he unfortunately will have to take care of hisself.

You mentioned the mother doesn't really watch them is their a father around?

Good Luck and please keep us posted.

[Bizzymammabee]

I would definitely speak to her and tell her for future reference if her child puts her hands on yours you will call the cops on her. I can fully understand not wanting to teach your son to be violent or to let others' pick on him.

[Brutus'mama]

Originally Posted by shecass

I'm so sorry. It constantly amazes me at how mean kids can be to each other. If it happens again I would most definitely talk to the mother to see if anything can be done that way.

I went through something similiar with my youngest stepson years ago. I don't even remember what I said to the kid but he was being very mean and bratty to Sam well his father comes up and we have a civil conversation. The kids mother wanted to call the cops because he told her I threaten him which I didn't.

I told him he wasn't welcome at my house any longer if he couldn't be nice and respectful that I didn't put up with that from my kids and I wasn't going to put up with it from someone elses either.

Of course, he added a lot more to it.

Anyway sorry for rambling. I would have your son pratcing his karate while she is around and it might scare her. This may be something if it doesn't stop that he unfortunately will have to take care of hisself.

You mentioned the mother doesn't really watch them is their a father around?

Good Luck and please keep us posted.

Their father isn't around that much but I know I'd have a better chance of talking to him about it than his wife. Maybe I'll just talk to the kid myself which is fine but I also want my son to be able to take care of himself. I'm afraid that if he avoids fights at ALL costs it will make things much worse.

Thanks!

[shecass]

Originally Posted by Brutus'mama

Their father isn't around that much but I know I'd have a better chance of talking to him about it than his wife. Maybe I'll just talk to the kid myself which is fine but I also want my son to be able to take care of himself. I'm afraid that if he avoids fights at ALL costs it will make things much worse.

Thanks!

If you can't talk to the mother than I would most definitely talk to the little girl. If all else fails call the cops and see what they can do.

I agree you don't want him to fight but, you do want him to be able to take care of himself thats, why he is in karate right? Just do what you feel that you have to do.

Good Luck.

[Twinkie_love]

I am also suprised with the way children express themselves and especially their frustrations.
PLEASE inform the parents whether they like it or not their daughter has a problem expressing herself. She also lacks social skills. A small fight can lead to something more serious. Also try to explain to your son that she does not really mean what she is doing BUT is doing it because noone taught her an alternative way of dealing with different issues and resolving conflicts.

Best of luck and I am really sorry your son is going through all this.

[Brutus'mama]

Thanks everyone! I think I'll talk to the little girl before anything else happens and then if that doesn't work well....

She'll probably be more afraid of me than her own mother!

[red98vett]

Carolyn - I would DEF talk to the kid first - then tell her ONE MORE Time and you go to her Mom AND the school and may call the cops on her - that will probably get her attention - in the meantime - tell your poor son to just leave if he sees her coming in his direction. I would not advise any Katate kicks - he could really hurt her and you all don't want that.

Does he have a cell phone ? You could have a pre-programmed code and he could deter her by telling her he has a DIRECT Line to the cops - and YOU can pretend to be the cops - (the word police will usually make any kid wet their pants lol)