I am married to an idiot - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

JeanieK · 05-02-2006, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rem&Silkmom

sorry but i have to vent. My stepson who is 18 just reminded my husband that he paid for his older son's car insurance until he graduated from high school. I have made the 18 year old pay for his car insurance because he gets awful grades. No honor roll no pay for your insurance. My husband was actually entertaining the though of paying for it...until I reminded him his 18 year old son does not even have a DRIVERS LICENSE. He lost it a month ago due to to many tickets. He had the nerve to say he still needed insurance. Why in the world would I pay for his insurance when he doesn't even have a license.

I chuckled when I saw the title to this thread. My first thought was Aren't we all.

hle_625 · 05-02-2006, 07:04 AM

Well when I turned 16 my parents bought me my first car, it wasnt one that I had dreamed of or anything but it got me down the road! I had a job and payed for the gas and the insurance that was the deal!

Rockster's Mom · 05-02-2006, 07:06 AM

When I was 16 my parents bought me a car on one condition, grades! If I had good grades (mostly A's, some B's) they would pay for the car, insurance, and gas, but if my grades dropped the car got parked. Even after I graduated high school, the deal was as long as I went to college they would pay for my car and everything else. But I decided to the quit school, and dad handed the the bills to me and said your are on your own.

JeanieK · 05-02-2006, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rem&Silkmom

Thank you...I so need to vent. I guess I don't understand how my husband could even entertain the thought of paying for his insurance. If he were my son I would take away the vehicle and sell it. However he is still letting him drive around town without a license. He said that he told him if he got caught he would have to face the consequenses. My husband says he is 18 and there is nothing he can do. He still lives in our house.

If the car is in your name, and he gets into an accident without insurance, the insurance won't pay and since the kids owns NOTHING, guess who they're gonna come looking for.

DaisyMaesMom · 05-02-2006, 07:34 AM

I didn't read all the posts following the op, so shoot me if I'm repeating.. I agree with you 100% on not aloowing him insurance or to drive without good grades. That's what we have told my 13 year old. However, if your dh is allowing him to drive around town without a license in YOUR cars and NO INSURANCE. You unfortunately will be the ones to pay the price. If he has an accident with no insurance in your cars, they will take your life savings or whateve they legally can in your state. I know here in FL they can't touch your primary residence, but any rental properties or anything or fair game. If he doesn't have a license or insurance you need to sit down and explain this to your hubby.. I am (was) a licensed insurance agent for 12 years. That's the only reason that I know this. GOOD LUCK!! Stand your ground on good grades! It's too darn expensive if not!

bchgirl · 05-02-2006, 08:12 AM

What kids don't realize is that driving is a privilege, not a right. You earn privileges.

My parents bought my first car (700 bucks), and purchased one tank of gas a week. Wasn't too long before I had to buy my own gas too. I was responsible for my taxes and insurance. I was never ON my parent's policy. If I got in trouble....the car keys were what I had to hand over.

My MIL was guilty of the behavior you mentioned. She bailed my SIL....Lord too many times to count....over and over and over. She thought she was helping her....no, it didn't help her one iota. It made her dependent. MIL has been dead for three years...SIL is still asking for money from her siblings. I finally told her the other day....look, T, do what we do...go to work...that's how you get money. Giving (and it's not a loan cause she's never gonna pay ya back) her money has NOT helped her....she's forty and still thinks like a 13 year old. Come to think of it....my 13 year old makes better decisions than her aunt.

PS Fastest way to tick SIL off...is to tell her NO. Yep, that response always makes me WANT to help her....not

She does not ask me for money any more 'cause it ain't gonna happen....

Yorkie3 · 05-02-2006, 08:42 AM

My son is 15, just finished up drivers training. We paid for the training ($400) and now it's up to him. When he was about 12 or 13, he went in the neighbors fields (with their permission) and gathered corn that the combines missed. My husband then drove him to the elevator and he got paid for the corn he collected. He does this every fall and now sells some to a neighbor that raises goats. He makes good money doing this, ($500-$600 each fall). We make him put half of what he earns in savings and the rest is his to do as he pleases (with a little parental opinions LOL).

When he reaches 16 in Dec. he'll be able to find a part-time job. Last summer and up until June of this year he worked for his grandfather at their flower shop (it will be closing in June). Since we had to drive him across the county to get there he had to pay us for gas. Boy, he got a wide awakening when he saw how much they took for taxes and then he had to pay for gas. He knows he will have to pay for his car, insurance, and gas. We will pay for his license plates only, until he graduates. He's almost got enough saved, by the time he gets his real license, he should have enough.

They need to know the responsiblity of earning money, saving, setting some aside and the joy of knowing what it feels like to work hard for something. Hopefully he'll also want to take care of his car (he does with everything else he buys). When it's yours, and you've work hard for it, you want to take care of it more.

I hate the mentality of so many kids today that think "what the heck, Mom and Dad will take care of it". I know many will not agree with me, but so far at 15, my son is very responsable and the joy of my life.

hle_625 · 05-02-2006, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bchgirl

What kids don't realize is that driving is a privilege, not a right. You earn privileges.

My parents bought my first car (700 bucks), and purchased one tank of gas a week. Wasn't too long before I had to buy my own gas too. I was responsible for my taxes and insurance. I was never ON my parent's policy. If I got in trouble....the car keys were what I had to hand over.

My MIL was guilty of the behavior you mentioned. She bailed my SIL....Lord too many times to count....over and over and over. She thought she was helping her....no, it didn't help her one iota. It made her dependent. MIL has been dead for three years...SIL is still asking for money from her siblings. I finally told her the other day....look, T, do what we do...go to work...that's how you get money. Giving (and it's not a loan cause she's never gonna pay ya back) her money has NOT helped her....she's forty and still thinks like a 13 year old. Come to think of it....my 13 year old makes better decisions than her aunt.

PS Fastest way to tick SIL off...is to tell her NO. Yep, that response always makes me WANT to help her....not

She does not ask me for money any more 'cause it ain't gonna happen....

Sounds like my aunt! Its a long story to tell but youve explained it well for me

sneri13 · 05-02-2006, 08:56 AM

I agree with most here. Driving is a privilage you earn it. I pay for my sons insurance and we got him a car, (truck) used. My son has to pay for his own gas. He knows that as long as he keeps up his grades and drives responsible I will continue to pay. The truck is in my name and I told him I can also take it away if he dosen't do well in school, drives irresponsibly, or seriously getting in trouble at home. It's my house I don't care how old you are you follow my rules or get out! Same applies to the husband.

.

At first he expected a brand new car. I told him if he wants a new car buy it himself. A lot of the kids in our town have cars I don't think a seventeen year old should have. Mercedes, Lexus, we have two kids with Porches, one with a Hummer, It's ridiculus.

RowdysMom · 05-02-2006, 10:02 AM

I would be no driving till grades are improved and that is somewhat taken care of since he has no license. I don't think he should have to pay for own insurance if his grades are bad, that means he will be spending time working to pay insurance when he should be studying. I think it should be no care till grades are brought up - THEN and only then, maybe he could pay 1/2 of insurance - that way he will only have to work half as much and will have more time to keep grades up.

mustangbee · 05-02-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RowdysMom

I would be no driving till grades are improved and that is somewhat taken care of since he has no license. I don't think he should have to pay for own insurance if his grades are bad, that means he will be spending time working to pay insurance when he should be studying. I think it should be no care till grades are brought up - THEN and only then, maybe he could pay 1/2 of insurance - that way he will only have to work half as much and will have more time to keep grades up.

We paid for our boys cars, insurance, & gas. They have the grades, are both in Med School and live at home. Both have part time jobs that give them the spending money they need, with a little to save. They earned the right to drive at 16. We told them grades come first, no grades no deal. With the class load they take on, it's the least we can do to ease the stress.

Our daughter, different story, no grades, no car, found a boyfriend, moved out at 18, and had two babies

Yep, I'm a Grandma.
Last time she was here, she said, you know what Mom, I should have stayed in school. She knows we will always be here for her. She also learned the hard way, that life is not as easy as she thought.

Two more in High School, hmmmmm lets just say we are working on things

shecass · 05-02-2006, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patti

Wow I wouldn't let my dtr have a car if she didn't have a license. My dtr is 20 lives at home and is an only child. She is finishing her 2nd year of college and works 20 hours a week. I have always tied good behaviour to earning rewards/privileges. We had agreed that we would get her a car if she chose to go to a local college. Then I lost my job, so her grandpa leant her the money to buy her car outright. He passed away in November and I still make her pay 100.00 a month. My husband said why does she have to pay now that my dad is gone. I said because that was the deal and it was money we would have gotten if he hadn't leant her the money. She gives me a check every month and I think it's quite a good deal, new car and we pay for gas and insurance. Kids need to earn things to make them appreciate them

I so agree. My niece is 17 and she has a very nice Celica. She works hard, goes to school and doesn't do drugs or drink. She works enough to make her car payment and pay part of her insurance. My sister-in-law & brother-in-law are very lucky. They have 2 great kids that work hard. My nephew is 23 and just got out of the marines last year and is planning on going to school this fall.

Both of my stepsons worked as teenagers to pay for their cars. They didn't live with us though they lived with their mother.

Kids need to earn the right to have a car. I didn't have a car until I was 19 years old and it was a hand me down. It was my sister's that she left us when she went into the Air Force. Stick to your guns.

05-02-2006, 07:04 AM	#17
hle_625 Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Missouri Posts: 4,637	Well when I turned 16 my parents bought me my first car, it wasnt one that I had dreamed of or anything but it got me down the road! I had a job and payed for the gas and the insurance that was the deal! __________________ Heather, Chloe Lynn and Daisy May

05-02-2006, 08:12 AM	#21
bchgirl Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: at da beach Posts: 15,444 Blog Entries: 2	What kids don't realize is that driving is a privilege, not a right. You earn privileges. My parents bought my first car (700 bucks), and purchased one tank of gas a week. Wasn't too long before I had to buy my own gas too. I was responsible for my taxes and insurance. I was never ON my parent's policy. If I got in trouble....the car keys were what I had to hand over. My MIL was guilty of the behavior you mentioned. She bailed my SIL....Lord too many times to count....over and over and over. She thought she was helping her....no, it didn't help her one iota. It made her dependent. MIL has been dead for three years...SIL is still asking for money from her siblings. I finally told her the other day....look, T, do what we do...go to work...that's how you get money. Giving (and it's not a loan cause she's never gonna pay ya back) her money has NOT helped her....she's forty and still thinks like a 13 year old. Come to think of it....my 13 year old makes better decisions than her aunt. PS Fastest way to tick SIL off...is to tell her NO. Yep, that response always makes me WANT to help her....not She does not ask me for money any more 'cause it ain't gonna happen.... __________________ Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie Trace & Ramsey who watch over us www.biewersbythebay.com

05-02-2006, 08:42 AM	#22
Yorkie3 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,686	My son is 15, just finished up drivers training. We paid for the training ($400) and now it's up to him. When he was about 12 or 13, he went in the neighbors fields (with their permission) and gathered corn that the combines missed. My husband then drove him to the elevator and he got paid for the corn he collected. He does this every fall and now sells some to a neighbor that raises goats. He makes good money doing this, ($500-$600 each fall). We make him put half of what he earns in savings and the rest is his to do as he pleases (with a little parental opinions LOL). When he reaches 16 in Dec. he'll be able to find a part-time job. Last summer and up until June of this year he worked for his grandfather at their flower shop (it will be closing in June). Since we had to drive him across the county to get there he had to pay us for gas. Boy, he got a wide awakening when he saw how much they took for taxes and then he had to pay for gas. He knows he will have to pay for his car, insurance, and gas. We will pay for his license plates only, until he graduates. He's almost got enough saved, by the time he gets his real license, he should have enough. They need to know the responsiblity of earning money, saving, setting some aside and the joy of knowing what it feels like to work hard for something. Hopefully he'll also want to take care of his car (he does with everything else he buys). When it's yours, and you've work hard for it, you want to take care of it more. I hate the mentality of so many kids today that think "what the heck, Mom and Dad will take care of it". I know many will not agree with me, but so far at 15, my son is very responsable and the joy of my life. __________________ Janet

05-02-2006, 08:56 AM	#24
sneri13 Luv My Spoiled Babies Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,065	I agree with most here. Driving is a privilage you earn it. I pay for my sons insurance and we got him a car, (truck) used. My son has to pay for his own gas. He knows that as long as he keeps up his grades and drives responsible I will continue to pay. The truck is in my name and I told him I can also take it away if he dosen't do well in school, drives irresponsibly, or seriously getting in trouble at home. It's my house I don't care how old you are you follow my rules or get out! Same applies to the husband. . At first he expected a brand new car. I told him if he wants a new car buy it himself. A lot of the kids in our town have cars I don't think a seventeen year old should have. Mercedes, Lexus, we have two kids with Porches, one with a Hummer, It's ridiculus. __________________ Susan Mac Mellie & Manny Until we meet again at Rainbow Bridge

05-02-2006, 10:02 AM	#25
RowdysMom Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Central Texas Posts: 2,624	I would be no driving till grades are improved and that is somewhat taken care of since he has no license. I don't think he should have to pay for own insurance if his grades are bad, that means he will be spending time working to pay insurance when he should be studying. I think it should be no care till grades are brought up - THEN and only then, maybe he could pay 1/2 of insurance - that way he will only have to work half as much and will have more time to keep grades up. __________________ Rex & Rowdy's Mom

05-02-2006, 07:06 AM	#18
Rockster's Mom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Fort Worth, Texas Posts: 1,279	When I was 16 my parents bought me a car on one condition, grades! If I had good grades (mostly A's, some B's) they would pay for the car, insurance, and gas, but if my grades dropped the car got parked. Even after I graduated high school, the deal was as long as I went to college they would pay for my car and everything else. But I decided to the quit school, and dad handed the the bills to me and said your are on your own.

05-02-2006, 07:34 AM	#20
DaisyMaesMom and Ty too! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Denver, Nope, not Colorado Posts: 1,235	I didn't read all the posts following the op, so shoot me if I'm repeating.. I agree with you 100% on not aloowing him insurance or to drive without good grades. That's what we have told my 13 year old. However, if your dh is allowing him to drive around town without a license in YOUR cars and NO INSURANCE. You unfortunately will be the ones to pay the price. If he has an accident with no insurance in your cars, they will take your life savings or whateve they legally can in your state. I know here in FL they can't touch your primary residence, but any rental properties or anything or fair game. If he doesn't have a license or insurance you need to sit down and explain this to your hubby.. I am (was) a licensed insurance agent for 12 years. That's the only reason that I know this. GOOD LUCK!! Stand your ground on good grades! It's too darn expensive if not!