Should I tell her mom or not about her My Space?

[StewiesMom]

She's only 17. She's only 17. My mom told me TWO things growing up that I really remember. One was:

"Kristy, just remember that nobody likes a tattle tale!!!"

My mom treated me like an adult when I was 17. She had my brother when she was 17 and was living out of the house. I think it's very strange that no one wants to give any credit to a 17 year old. None of you drank or smoked when you were 17? You didn't try to look cool to your friends? You didn't experiment? I am shocked by this! Talking to her about the possibility of giving out too much info online is a different story. I would talk to her about that to protect her, surely.

I would never trust my cousin again or even look at her if she went behind my back like that and told my mom. We're not talking about a 7 year old here.

I know that the question was already answered, but I had to throw in 2 more cents.

[Princess Zoe]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

She's only 17. She's only 17. My mom told me TWO things growing up that I really remember. One was:

"Kristy, just remember that nobody likes a tattle tale!!!"

My mom treated me like an adult when I was 17. She had my brother when she was 17 and was living out of the house. I think it's very strange that no one wants to give any credit to a 17 year old. None of you drank or smoked when you were 17? You didn't try to look cool to your friends? You didn't experiment? I am shocked by this! Talking to her about the possibility of giving out too much info online is a different story. I would talk to her about that to protect her, surely.

I would never trust my cousin again or even look at her if she went behind my back like that and told my mom. We're not talking about a 7 year old here.

I know that the question was already answered, but I had to throw in 2 more cents.

I felt this same way.... UNTIL I had kids of my own. It's a whole new understanding. I worry SICK for them all the time. When you are 17 (or near that age), you don't feel young... you feel like you have life figured out. Now that I'm older and have kids of my own, I want to keep them from making the same mistakes that I did when I was young. Some lessons are learned the hard way, but I love my kids enough to try and save them from some of the pain. 17 is VERY young still.... definately not nearly a mature adult.

[vainchick5]

sorry double post

[vainchick5]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

She's only 17. She's only 17. My mom told me TWO things growing up that I really remember. One was:

"Kristy, just remember that nobody likes a tattle tale!!!"

My mom treated me like an adult when I was 17. She had my brother when she was 17 and was living out of the house. I think it's very strange that no one wants to give any credit to a 17 year old. None of you drank or smoked when you were 17? You didn't try to look cool to your friends? You didn't experiment? I am shocked by this! Talking to her about the possibility of giving out too much info online is a different story. I would talk to her about that to protect her, surely.

My comments are not directed towards you or anything to do with you, but the statements you made are exactly why so many kids/teens are being kidnapped/killed/raped, ect. Because people give TOO much credit to young KIDS, yes 17 is still a kid. I am 25 and am appalled at how parents raise their kids sometimes. Parents may think they should give their kid more credit, they are smart, they should let them make their own decisions and before they know it...BAM the kid is involved in drugs, sex, or other bad things. They completely ignore school and any ideas of what they want to do with their lives. I'm not saying everyone, but from my observation of not only talking to strangers but family members of my own, this is true. Kids, even teenagers need to be guided. Some kids are strong enough to try alcohol when they are 17 and not try other stuff or not get into bad things, but most kids these days are not. Too many parents are not spending time with their kids so their kids find other ways to get attention. I am not a mother yet, but my kids will NOT be parading herself/himself on myspace.com talking about smoking, drinking, and his/her sexual partners, I don't care if they are 20 years old. Parents are too lazy and selfish these days to guide their kids so they just let them make their own decisions and guide their own lives, which is why we have things happen like the Natalie Holloway story and the Duke University rape case. Just my 2 cents and is not directed at anyone, just my opinion.

[StewiesMom]

Originally Posted by Princess Zoe

I felt this same way.... UNTIL I had kids of my own. It's a whole new understanding. I worry SICK for them all the time. When you are 17 (or near that age), you don't feel young... you feel like you have life figured out. Now that I'm older and have kids of my own, I want to keep them from making the same mistakes that I did when I was young. Some lessons are learned the hard way, but I love my kids enough to try and save them from some of the pain. 17 is VERY young still.... definately not nearly a mature adult.

I know what you mean. But I think that my mom telling me about the things that she did AND talking to me about them (why they were wrong, why she was stupid) and EXPECTING me to experiment made me a good person today. My mom barely graduated H.S. and became a mother young, so you better believe that she and I both wanted something better for me. And here I am, almost 23, not a mom, not pregnant, not a big drinker, not having sex with tons of men, paying my own bills and trying to be an upstanding citizen. And we're best friends.

I just think that trying to protect and shelter kids is the wrong way to raise them. Trusting that they will make good decisions (or the decision that is best for them) makes them want to please and upload a parent's standards. If my 17 year old is going to have sex, I would talk to her about safe sex and pay for her birth control.

Anyway, I just took this story/question to heart because my cousin who is 5 years older than me is like my sister. She would never tattle on me and would try to look out for my wellbeing without judging me or spreading my business around. She is a role model and I think that all older siblings/cousins, etc should try to be role models for the younger ones.

[Princess Zoe]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

I know what you mean. But I think that my mom telling me about the things that she did AND talking to me about them (why they were wrong, why she was stupid) and EXPECTING me to experiment made me a good person today. My mom barely graduated H.S. and became a mother young, so you better believe that she and I both wanted something better for me. And here I am, almost 23, not a mom, not pregnant, not a big drinker, not having sex with tons of men, paying my own bills and trying to be an upstanding citizen. And we're best friends.

I just think that trying to protect and shelter kids is the wrong way to raise them. Trusting that they will make good decisions (or the decision that is best for them) makes them want to please and upload a parent's standards. If my 17 year old is going to have sex, I would talk to her about safe sex and pay for her birth control.

Anyway, I just took this story/question to heart because my cousin who is 5 years older than me is like my sister. She would never tattle on me and would try to look out for my wellbeing without judging me or spreading my business around. She is a role model and I think that all older siblings/cousins, etc should try to be role models for the younger ones.

I totally understand and I do think that there are children who are guided to making good decisions by their parents. I definately want to teach my kids good principles, and hopefully they will choose what is right. Unfortunately, there are kids who don't have that kind of maturity level to make the right choices.... and the older I get, the more I am seeing the consequences of the choices that my friends and family made when they were younger. It's NOT all innocent fun... it can lead to pregnancy, disease, addictions, abduction, murder. Many of my closest friends got pregnant when they were young and did NOT become good parents. They resent their kids for taking away THEIR childhood. I have friends who are alcoholics, addicted to pornography, drugs, friends who have been raped at parties.... and the list goes on. I will shelter my kids from this as much as possible. Not with an iron fist, but by teaching them... but if I feel that they are walking on the edge of ruining their lives, I will intervene because I love them all more than my own life. I hope that I can be their best friend, but unfortunately sometimes kids don't understand why they are given rules, so I guess I will be the enemy at times too. And that's OK. I am a mother of 3 kids, so my opinion is based out of love and concern for them. If your cousin is like a sister to you, I would hope that if you were making choices that would put you in harms way that she would talk to you about it, and if you wouldn't listen that she would tell your Mom (the person who loves you most). Love is tough sometimes.

[Thorsmomma]

Originally Posted by Rockster's Mom

Okay!! I need some advise on what todo. I was playing on My Space today and a found my 17 yr old cousin profile. Her profile really confirmed somethings for me like she smokes, drinks, and she has a girlfriend. I am not to concerned with that smoking/drinking and the girlfriend well lets just say a I have pretty much thought she was homosexual anyways. What concerned me was the content and information about where she goes to school and work. I don't know what to do. Should I go to my 17 yr old cousin first or should I go straight to her mom?

Jsut because she is gay doesn't mean she is a bad girl. I'm not sre if that's what you were saying but that's not a big deal. The smoking and drinking, well, a lot of teens experiment with that, and her mom can't run around her her whole life telling her not to smoke and drink. I hope I am not comming off as b*(&$y but I think that you shouldn't tell her mom. Maybe talk to her about it but I'll tell you what, she will learn what is best for her ( not like she doesn't already know that smoking and drinking isn't good) through experiences etc. So good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Rockster's Mom]

Originally Posted by Thorsmomma

Jsut because she is gay doesn't mean she is a bad girl. I'm not sre if that's what you were saying but that's not a big deal. The smoking and drinking, well, a lot of teens experiment with that, and her mom can't run around her her whole life telling her not to smoke and drink. I hope I am not comming off as b*(&$y but I think that you shouldn't tell her mom. Maybe talk to her about it but I'll tell you what, she will learn what is best for her ( not like she doesn't already know that smoking and drinking isn't good) through experiences etc. So good luck with whatever you decide to do.

I was not concerned about drinking/smoking or her girlfriend. I was concerned that she listed the places where she works/go to school. With all the crazes out there I do no think it was a good idea that she list those things. I did not tell her mom I actually spoke to her and explained how dangerous the net is. I also mentioned that I was not trying to get her in trouble or anything, I was just concerned with her safety. I also told if she did not want her family or any else know she had girlfriend and anything else, she might not want to put it on the "worldwide web". Now my mother saw my little cousin's website and thought it was very inappropriate and decided to call the mother about it not me.

[jbarile]

My daughter, son, and their friends use that My space! I have seen my daughters space, and she has some pretty crazy things on it, but again it's her space..and I am confident my daughter is no idiot! I feel it is their space! it would be like you have read her diary and now you want to expose her. I know how dangerous it is these days but alot of kids 17 and above in age are alot more savy then given credit for! SO in my opinion No I would not tell her parents, you should talk with her about it should you feel she is not aware of the possibilites and what she says on her space is her business! it's her space..

[jbarile]

Originally Posted by StewiesMom

She's only 17. She's only 17. My mom told me TWO things growing up that I really remember. One was:

"Kristy, just remember that nobody likes a tattle tale!!!"

My mom treated me like an adult when I was 17. She had my brother when she was 17 and was living out of the house. I think it's very strange that no one wants to give any credit to a 17 year old. None of you drank or smoked when you were 17? You didn't try to look cool to your friends? You didn't experiment? I am shocked by this! Talking to her about the possibility of giving out too much info online is a different story. I would talk to her about that to protect her, surely.

I would never trust my cousin again or even look at her if she went behind my back like that and told my mom. We're not talking about a 7 year old here.

I know that the question was already answered, but I had to throw in 2 more cents.

Ditto I agree!!