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Originally Posted by StewiesMom I know what you mean. But I think that my mom telling me about the things that she did AND talking to me about them (why they were wrong, why she was stupid) and EXPECTING me to experiment made me a good person today. My mom barely graduated H.S. and became a mother young, so you better believe that she and I both wanted something better for me. And here I am, almost 23, not a mom, not pregnant, not a big drinker, not having sex with tons of men, paying my own bills and trying to be an upstanding citizen. And we're best friends.
I just think that trying to protect and shelter kids is the wrong way to raise them. Trusting that they will make good decisions (or the decision that is best for them) makes them want to please and upload a parent's standards. If my 17 year old is going to have sex, I would talk to her about safe sex and pay for her birth control.
Anyway, I just took this story/question to heart because my cousin who is 5 years older than me is like my sister. She would never tattle on me and would try to look out for my wellbeing without judging me or spreading my business around. She is a role model and I think that all older siblings/cousins, etc should try to be role models for the younger ones. |
I totally understand and I do think that there are children who are guided to making good decisions by their parents. I definately want to teach my kids good principles, and hopefully they will choose what is right. Unfortunately, there are kids who don't have that kind of maturity level to make the right choices.... and the older I get, the more I am seeing the consequences of the choices that my friends and family made when they were younger. It's NOT all innocent fun... it can lead to pregnancy, disease, addictions, abduction, murder. Many of my closest friends got pregnant when they were young and did NOT become good parents. They resent their kids for taking away THEIR childhood. I have friends who are alcoholics, addicted to pornography, drugs, friends who have been raped at parties.... and the list goes on. I will shelter my kids from this as much as possible. Not with an iron fist, but by teaching them... but if I feel that they are walking on the edge of ruining their lives, I will intervene because I love them all more than my own life. I hope that I can be their best friend, but unfortunately sometimes kids don't understand why they are given rules, so I guess I will be the enemy at times too. And that's OK. I am a mother of 3 kids, so my opinion is based out of love and concern for them.
If your cousin is like a sister to you, I would hope that if you were making choices that would put you in harms way that she would talk to you about it, and if you wouldn't listen that she would tell your Mom (the person who loves you most). Love is tough sometimes.