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My BF called me very hurtful names :( We were having an argument and he called me a b**** psycho and bipolar (on a text) We were together for only 3 months! I broke up with him and 2 days later he apologized and he's been trying to get me to forgive him for the past couple of weeks. Now he's saying he was falling in love with me and he loves me (I'm not sure if this is true or not? Maybe he's using the word "love" to manipulate me) Anyway, I lost my respect for him and I also dont trust him: how can I ? What if he does it again? He's asking for a second chance and I dont know if I should... He was really sweet to me before those words. I'm really confused and I have no idea how can he snap like that! I would really appreciate any advice from you ladies ... I told him we could talk next friday, he wants me to come over to his apt to talk, but I told him it's better in a public place :-/ ... |
I'm no therapist, but he sounds like a mess to me and has a control issue. I think you are right to question this relationship. |
I would certainly walk away from this and fast. He has already shown in true colors, who is to say what he will do next. |
:( Plus, in my mind, verbal abuse is the same - if not worse - than physical abuse. |
Bently's Mom, sometimes these things are really a gift if one looks hard enough. What if you were married and this part of his personality showed itself or married and pregnant. Run away as fast as you can. |
A decent person doesn't call anyone names. We been married 33 years and never used name calling to express our anger. It's huge red flag, as others have said a gift...run. Bet you he's a narcissist. Also listen to your instincts, you said you don't trust him or respect him. |
This type of behavior is "classic" in domestic violence cases. It is one of the very first signs and only gets worse over time. As the person becomes more confident in the relationship, they become more abusive and again will ask for forgiveness and say they won't do it again. Your best bet is to walk away and don't look back. Nothing good can come from this type of behavior, especially so early in a relationship. |
After *only* 3 months of being together, this is concerning...bc this should be the honeymoon, elated period. If you, for some reason, think he is still worth exploring - I'd make an appt w/ a counselor/therapist and talk this over with a professional with him present. That's the only way I can see really getting to the bottom of this outburst. |
Run, do not walk away from this man. Today name calling, tomorrow physical abuse. I stayed in a marriage for 17 years because after the name calling I believed he would never do it again, then the physical abuse began, again always forgave because I believed it would never happen again. I left him from the ER after having 7 stitches to close the gash in my head. Name calling can be forgiven, but never forgotten, once the words leave the mouth and reach the ears it is always remembered. If the name calling was not meant, then why do it? Why? because he MEANT it. NO MEETING, NO TALKING over. Good luck (((HUGS))) |
I wouldn't meet this guy anywhere. I agree with everyone - name calling is just the first step, and at three months. Do yourself a favor and don't waste another minute on this loser. |
And another thought. He could hurt little Bently to get at you. I knew a couple that the husband threw her little cat into the wall because he was mad at her. Get rid of the guy for both of your safety. |
This is over!! He meant to hurt you....hurt you with his words....that will escalate....next time he will hurt your pup to hurt you, and if you were to marry him and have kids, he will hurt the kids, then finally, words wont hurt enough, you need a good beating. He will beg and plead and look sooooooooo sincere and you will think he wont do it again....."hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me.....". Right now, you have NOTHING holding you to this man....drop him like a hot rock! |
After he called me all those names, plus general cursing while saying other things (like the f word and sh**)I broke up with him. I made it clear that it was over and I will never forgive him. That's when he started to tell me he was in love with me, so I was considering giving him a second chance. he never mentioned love before, thats why I'm thinking he's manipulating me. He has shown attitudes before, like one time we had an argument and he told me that we are not going out anymore so I stayed home. The other time he went into his room and never came out again, living me alone in the living room (this was in his apt so I grabbed my keys to go home, as soon as he heard I was leaving he came out quickly and said sorry and pls stay) The last fight was about milk spilling, I was making a protein shake and milk started spilling from the blender, he got really upset and was talking to me with an attitude. He also has a very bad road rage *sigh* honestly when he called me all those names, I thought "wow all this time I've been having this weird feeling this guy might have anger issues, and I was right, I kept ignoring my instincts because I really wanted it to work" No one has ever cursed at me in my life, even when I really deserve it lol and I was actually behaving like a crazy person, no guy has ever said anything really bad like that. Thank you for all the advice, I'm having a lot of anxiety about meeting him and he insisted to meet in his apt, but I told him better in a public place, now I'm reconsidering even meeting him. My fear is that he's going to be able to hide his anger until we are married or I'm pregnant. What am I going to do when he calls me names while I'm pregnant? It could be a one time mistake too, maybe he's not a bad guy, but maybe he is. It's just a big risk to take for a 3 month relationship. I also thought about seeing a counselor, it's sad that we have been together for only 3 months and already in need of counseling :( I also think about Bentley, what if one day he gets angry at him and hurts him and I'm not around to see it ... |
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Bottom line: you deserve better. You deserve to be treasured, appreciated, treated kindly and gently, be supported, be cared for. He doesn\'t sound capable or ready to do those things. He has milessssssss to go and it\'s not your job to fix it or live with it. |
It sounds like he is a very controlling man. If he\'s doing this to you now it will only get worse. It isn\'t worth it. Walk away now. Don\'t meet him anymore. In my opinion, you haven\'t seen anything yet as far as what he is capable of doing. I am so sorry you are dealing with this. |
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