Do you still send out Christmas/Holiday cards?

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Ok, this thread has now got me re-thinking some of my obligatory gifting.

I think it's time for me to stop sending generous checks to certain stepchildren and stepgrandchildren who have not even acknowledged or thanked me in the last 6 or more years. They are all adults now, could easily send me an email, text or phone thanks, but nothing. I'm done. The only way I even know they got the gift is that they signed the back of the check and cashed it. I'd rather give that money to a total stranger who needs and appreciates it.

Wow. That was as liberating as throwing away a card.

You GO woman!! I totally support you in this. The reason is that you get no acknowledgement whatsoever and that's just a bunch of crap in my book. I love my Stepdad so much, even though my Mom has been passed for 25 years now -- every year he still sends me a check for Xmas - and you can be darn sure he receives a big thank you every year...I never take it for granted or could imagine not saying thank you to him. It's the loving and polite thing to do, ya know? And I also always send him a food gift every year, bc I want him to know I'm thinking of him, love him, and appreciate him.

If you're not being acknowledged in the least, I wouldn't hesitate to stop. And like you said, you could either spend that money on some kind of charitable effort and/or just spend it on your wonderful self - buy yourself something you've been denying yourself bc it's "too much" .

[dawn27]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Ok, this thread has now got me re-thinking some of my obligatory gifting.

I think it's time for me to stop sending generous checks to certain stepchildren and stepgrandchildren who have not even acknowledged or thanked me in the last 6 or more years. They are all adults now, could easily send me an email, text or phone thanks, but nothing. I'm done. The only way I even know they got the gift is that they signed the back of the check and cashed it. I'd rather give that money to a total stranger who needs and appreciates it.

Wow. That was as liberating as throwing away a card.

I don't blame you one bit / / its always been my policy to stop giving gifts to the nieces and nephews once they turn 18. The youngest of the kids are not 21 and I don't feel one bit sad or guilty about it either. My Christmas list now consist of my DH, DS, DD, her BF and #1 very special great niece Stella who it 2 and I always always set a limit to spending.

[gemy]

I have to say this thread makes me very sad about the future of Christmas. It is a time of giving and of loving, of reaching out to folks you mayhap only reach out to at Christmas.


It is not about obligatory gifts be they Christmas cards or presents. You don't gift or send a card in expectation of a return gift, or even a thank-you. When you give from your heart, free of expectations, that is in the *true* spirit of Christmas.


I fondly remember my parents who started in the beginning of November to write hand written notes to their far flung family, then purchased Christmas cards to go with their notes. They mailed out to USA and Europe, with different delivery dates, but they wanted each and every-one to receive their missive, to let these folks know, they remembered them with fondness and wish them the very best.


In this day and age, I think we have gotten very lazy indeed. And we try to justify that inertia or laziness with various excuses.


So take the heart of this beautifull season and give where and when you can, to those that you love.

[dawn27]

Originally Posted by gemy

I have to say this thread makes me very sad about the future of Christmas. It is a time of giving and of loving, of reaching out to folks you mayhap only reach out to at Christmas.

It is not about obligatory gifts be they Christmas cards or presents. You don't gift or send a card in expectation of a return gift, or even a thank-you. When you give from your heart, free of expectations, that is in the *true* spirit of Christmas.

I fondly remember my parents who started in the beginning of November to write hand written notes to their far flung family, then purchased Christmas cards to go with their notes. They mailed out to USA and Europe, with different delivery dates, but they wanted each and every-one to receive their missive, to let these folks know, they remembered them with fondness and wish them the very best.

In this day and age, I think we have gotten very lazy indeed. And we try to justify that inertia or laziness with various excuses.

So take the heart of this beautifull season and give where and when you can, to those that you love.

This statement says so much when it comes to why I stopped sending out Christmas cards all together. I guess not all families are so cozy, I know mine isn't. I was sending cards to dozens of family members who I haven't seen nor heard from in many years and who could care less about me or my family when it comes to spreading good cheer. I felt as if I was just wasting my money. We haven't been invited to a family Christmas gathering on my husbands side of the family for over 15 yrs and for mind who I admit are not as close as we could or should be its been almost 4 . So yea that whole spirit of Christmas thing just isn't what it use to be for me. Does that mean that I don't spread Christmas cheer to others, heck No it doesn't. I just do it in other ways. It only takes a Smile or a Merry Christmas as you past a stranger to spread the spirit of Christmas. I don't have to spend any money for cards or stamps to do that . . I would much prefer to do that and brighten a child's or a strangers day than sending a card to someone who could give a rats ass about me or my family !!

As for those people who are important to me who I love dearly believe me they know that I love them, I tell them every chance I get. Just because I don't show it with a gift or card once a year doesn't mean that I love them any less.

[ladyjane]

I am feeling terribly guilty this year about cards. I went through that last year as well. Just seems I cannot ever catch up with things.

I love to dress my pups up and take pics; and actually had planned to do another one this year with them and me like I did three years ago. Everyone loved it....but it is getting rather late for this. I just don't know.....

[Maximo]

Originally Posted by ladyjane

I am feeling terribly guilty this year about cards. I went through that last year as well. Just seems I cannot ever catch up with things.

I love to dress my pups up and take pics; and actually had planned to do another one this year with them and me like I did three years ago. Everyone loved it....but it is getting rather late for this. I just don't know.....

I said last year that I would do it this year . . . looks like I will be aiming for 2015.

[Zoey Zendaya]

I can relate to a lot of what you all are saying as I also can be quite the procrastinator ...putting things off till it was too late was a cop out for me and only made me feel more inadequate.....I remember as a kid back in the 50's my grandparents having the family holiday dinners and what great memories are those. I continue that tradition and will for as long as I'm able for my own grandchildren to cherish.
It s getting harder each year and seeing some "social " problems between daughter in laws in buying for each other's kids have made me wonder "why".
If you can't do it out of love and excitement and have fun with it....forget it.
So this year, today in fact , it was christmas just for the grandparents for our grandkids. (Grown kids made us stop buying for them years ago). Now it comes down to lists to complete and that is it...not as much fun as it used to be going to store and finding what I think they might like.

Yes it's changing times I guess ...think I'll just get online at Walgreens and make my Christmas card from photos of my fur babies , get them same day and in the mail.....now that's fun....
Happy holidays...

[MauiGirl]

Oh, believe me the traditional (although commercial) Christmas spirit is alive and well in my house. My house is decorated, cookies being baked, presents overflowing under the tree, mostly for my 10 year old granddaughter who will appreciate and remember every single thing, fabulous food has been planned and friends and neighbors will be coming over throughout the week.

My daughter and I have been buying tons of toys at Ross for the past month, and she will take her SUV full of toys to the local Women's shelter, where kids we will never know, who's moms are unable to get them anything will get a wonderful Christmas. And the checks that I have decided not to send to certain individuals this year will be given instead to the Maui Food Bank, the Women's Shelter and the Salvation Army.

And even though temps will be in the 80's, it's all good, we have plenty of spirit here.

[Lilah Charm]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Oh, believe me the traditional (although commercial) Christmas spirit is alive and well in my house. My house is decorated, cookies being baked, presents overflowing under the tree, mostly for my 10 year old granddaughter who will appreciate and remember every single thing, fabulous food has been planned and friends and neighbors will be coming over throughout the week.

My daughter and I have been buying tons of toys at Ross for the past month, and she will take her SUV full of toys to the local Women's shelter, where kids we will never know, who's moms are unable to get them anything will get a wonderful Christmas. And the checks that I have decided not to send to certain individuals this year will be given instead to the Maui Food Bank, the Women's Shelter and the Salvation Army.

And even though temps will be in the 80's, it's all good, we have plenty of spirit here.

That is so sweet! Sounds like the makings for a lovely Christmas time that I am sure will be very special for your sweet little granddaughter and it seems many other precious little babes as well!

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Ok, this thread has now got me re-thinking some of my obligatory gifting.

I think it's time for me to stop sending generous checks to certain stepchildren and stepgrandchildren who have not even acknowledged or thanked me in the last 6 or more years. They are all adults now, could easily send me an email, text or phone thanks, but nothing. I'm done. The only way I even know they got the gift is that they signed the back of the check and cashed it. I'd rather give that money to a total stranger who needs and appreciates it.

Wow. That was as liberating as throwing away a card.

Good for you! If everyone viewed Christmas as a time to celebrate and cherish things they felt were important, in the way they felt them to be important, then I believe the spirit of Christmas would truly return. Commercialism has ruined what Christmas should be which is a time for reflection and appreciating those close to you and everything you HAVE ..not appreciating or anticipating what you MAY receive from people whom you have no relationship with etc....


SO HAPPY for your revelation!

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Oh, believe me the traditional (although commercial) Christmas spirit is alive and well in my house. My house is decorated, cookies being baked, presents overflowing under the tree, mostly for my 10 year old granddaughter who will appreciate and remember every single thing, fabulous food has been planned and friends and neighbors will be coming over throughout the week.

My daughter and I have been buying tons of toys at Ross for the past month, and she will take her SUV full of toys to the local Women's shelter, where kids we will never know, who's moms are unable to get them anything will get a wonderful Christmas. And the checks that I have decided not to send to certain individuals this year will be given instead to the Maui Food Bank, the Women's Shelter and the Salvation Army.

And even though temps will be in the 80's, it's all good, we have plenty of spirit here.

You needn't justify yourself at all... I completely agree with you. No one has anything against sharing (including me) but when it's not truly sharing, when it's trying to get cards out the door cuz your mom or MIL taught you that was what you SHOULD do, or you buy the kids the most expensive presents because you feel like a failure if you don't (cuz the card company's or the commercials tell you so...) that is the failure of Christmas as a vast majority now know it..


Therefore, share and acknowledge and have Christmas in your own way! If that means no Christmas cards (as it will for me) then so be it...


As it is, my English husband is making his American wife (me) an Australian themed BBQ for Christmas Eve and we will have Christmas dinner at his parents. There will be no gifts and no cards but there will be love and that is what is important...not someone else's view on how I should celebrate my holiday. I grew out of caring what people thought about me when I do not conform to their thoughts at about the age of 4..


Welcome to freedom!!!!!

[SirTeddykins]

Originally Posted by SirTeddykins

I grew out of caring what people thought about me when I do not conform to their thoughts at about the age of 4..


Welcome to freedom!!!!!

I meant to say 24 but at 4 I'm sure I was already getting a head start on questioning things hahaha


I have always rebelled against social norms if they didn't make sense to me and that is why I went to a school for the "gifted and talented" with emphasis on science from the time I was 9 but was never asked out to the prom...who wants to date the science nerd lol!


It's okay, though. Albert Einstein was invited to parties whereby he allegedly forgot to wear pants. He shunned convention. He's my hero. I'll toast him with some eggnog at the BBQ and may even send HIM a card! How's that for bucking tradition!