Update to Bully Note at School - YorkieTalk.com Forums

I luv my pups · 01-06-2006, 08:10 PM

For those of you that have not read the previous post here is the link
http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27334

Well Joran told me finally who wrote the note!! It is a little GIRL in his class. Yes that is right a girl. I couldn't believe it. That is why he wasn't wanting to tell because he was imbarresed that it was a girl. The same girl that beat up a little boy in his class about a month ago.
So this morning I went to the school, Joran and I went in and talked to the principal. I am not all that happy about it. I told her who Joran said it was and she started out by telling Joran if he would have told us 2 days ago it would be solved and how to be truthful. I told her that he was scared so it is understandable. Well she talked to the girl and she admitted it and she came back in to tell us that and that she gave her 2 days of time out!! (in school suspension) That is ALL!!! I am so mad. Then she made the girl tell Joran she was sorry. She said the reason she did it was because Joran tells people that she is his girlfriend. Which I don't think is true. He always talks about another girl and that his friend likes this girl. Joran told me she got mad when he told the girl that his friend liked her.
Well I have been trying to get ahold of one of the school board members all day, haven't been able to get ahold of them yet. So I will update more when I get more information.
I hope this little girl gets some kind of help because she has some terrible anger inside.
There was a lot said that made me mad, One comment she made was that she don't make $100,000 a year and we know your mom doesn't but the reason I do this is for the kids???? What is that all about????? There was more but I can't even think right now, I worked both jobs today and I my mind is on overload!!
My mom had the boys tonight and said it was good to see Joran in such a good mood, she said it is like he is back to him old self!!

I am so happy that he feels better, I hope that he is ok Tuesday when she is allowed back to class!!

txshopper73 · 01-06-2006, 08:24 PM

Thanks for the update. I for one, would be upset that was all she got. But maybe the principal will suggest counceling for her...keep us updated as soon as you talk to those school board members.

Connie · 01-06-2006, 08:40 PM

Melissa...you forgot something! When you called the school this morning and asked to talk to the principal, who is higher up than the asst. principal you have been talking with...you told him you found out who wrote the note and he said, "What note?" The asst. principal had not even told him about the note!!! That is totally nutz! Another thing you forgot was to tell them about Joran's great teacher. Bless her heart...she was the ONLY one taking this serious and yesterday when Joran wasn't in school, she gave the kids a pop spelling test saying it was in preparation for a spelling bee. One of the words was "bury" which was spelled "barrie" by the note writer. 3 kids spelled it "barrie" and she knew one of them wasn't the one because he is Joran's friend. She had it narrowed down to 2 and one of them was the girl that wrote the note. I think that teacher deserves a raise!

I hope the school board takes this serious and can educate all the schools to take threats seriously until proven otherwise. One day something will happen that they sluffed off and their a** will be grass...and that will be just fine and dandy with me! (Not that something should happen, but that they end up in hot water for lack of responsibility!

Yes...Joran acted today as if he had the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders. Bless his heart...how I love that kiddo!

BabyFidgette · 01-06-2006, 09:55 PM

I'm a teacher, and we have bullying going on in my school too. I'm a middle school teacher. We're supposed to have a "no tolerance" policy, and EVERY inquiry is supposed to be called into the cops, but they're not!

Oh, and about asst. principals and principals not being on the same page....it's like that in our school too. The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing.

If your son is seriously afraid of this girl, take it as high as you can honey, and don't back down! It doesn't matter if the principal is making $50,000 or $500,000, he/she is there to do a job, and if he/she is not doing it he/she shouldn't be there! That's just MHO.

Shanatink · 01-06-2006, 10:02 PM

Im so sorry you had to deal with all that. I cant believe a girl would do that. I hope everything get better for Joran and for you

Shanatink · 01-06-2006, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie

Melissa...you forgot something! When you called the school this morning and asked to talk to the principal, who is higher up than the asst. principal you have been talking with...you told him you found out who wrote the note and he said, "What note?" The asst. principal had not even told him about the note!!! That is totally nutz! Another thing you forgot was to tell them about Joran's great teacher. Bless her heart...she was the ONLY one taking this serious and yesterday when Joran wasn't in school, she gave the kids a pop spelling test saying it was in preparation for a spelling bee. One of the words was "bury" which was spelled "barrie" by the note writer. 3 kids spelled it "barrie" and she knew one of them wasn't the one because he is Joran's friend. She had it narrowed down to 2 and one of them was the girl that wrote the note. I think that teacher deserves a raise!

I hope the school board takes this serious and can educate all the schools to take threats seriously until proven otherwise. One day something will happen that they sluffed off and their a** will be grass...and that will be just fine and dandy with me! (Not that something should happen, but that they end up in hot water for lack of responsibility!

Yes...Joran acted today as if he had the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders. Bless his heart...how I love that kiddo!

That is very clever of the teacher and very good of her to take this seriously like that. She does deserve a raise!

Yorkie Mum · 01-06-2006, 10:10 PM

Can You call social services or take the note into the police station.
The note is a threat and is against the law.

Joy

orinskye · 01-06-2006, 10:27 PM

i agree she should have been more severely punished but the zero tolerance policy is a load of BS. . . Yes, and i am a teacher. My brother got suspended indeffinatly and was in danger of not graduating because a cop said he was high (he was not high... we walked by a bunch of kids who were getting high, and my brother laughed and said "you guys are stupid, there is a cop watching you"... so everyone split, and my brother walked calmly to school where he was hauled into the office and suspended. the cop and administration was mad because he refused to tell them who was there) . He ended up having to switch schools to a continuation and bust his butt to get his GED before they could suspend him permanantly. anyways there have been MANY other instances with the zero tolerance policy that are ludicrous and downright abuse of power. whats worse is there idea of "justice", my parents were sent a letter BEFORE i started high school saying that i was in danger of being expelled from their high school if i put a toe out of line (and this is because i had a problem with a teacher who wrote me up for tracking mud in her classroom on a RAINY day

).... so here you have it. There are pros and cons to every system and these are deffinatly the cons of teh zero tolerance policy. I dont doubt that it should protect those students still in school, but just like some people get falsly accused and sent to jail... some people get falsly accused and expelled (and what kind of message is this sending to the kids ????)

On a further note: the lack of communication is clearly an issue. what you can do it go onto the district website and get all the important phone numbers from it and start calling EVERYONE. im serious, BUG THE HELL OUT OF them!!!! Call the superintendant if you have to!

Oh, and that was very smart of that teacher to do the "pop quize"

chewysmom · 01-06-2006, 10:47 PM

I'm so glad you got to the bottom of this! I would still pursue it further. In my book a 2 day suspension is not good enough. If she is beating kids up and writing these notes, she will continue. I think sometimes the girls can be more cruel than the boys. If I were you I would call a meeting between her parents, the principal, the teacher, the school psychologist and you to discuss how this child will be dealt with in the future should something happen again with her behaviour. They also need to find out WHY she did it. Just because they found out WHO it was does not mean that it is over.

I'm glad that Joran is feeling better tho and he has a very smart teacher!

orinskye · 01-06-2006, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chewysmom

If I were you I would call a meeting between her parents, the principal, the teacher, the school psychologist and you to discuss how this child will be dealt with in the future should something happen again with her behaviour.

YES!!! i like this!!!!!

chewysmom · 01-06-2006, 11:01 PM

Yes, it has to be done! I know schools in Manhattan have a psychologist on staff and they have open door policies for kids AND their parents. On the issue of bullying and violence, most schools say they have a "zero tolerance" for it, but when it actually happens they push it aside. It's tougher in the public schools because they really don't have to answer to the parents or a board or anything. I send my son to a private school and the principal does not mess around. There is a child in my son's grade with terrible problems and the school has tried to work with them. The rumor is that he will not be returning for 2nd grade. The thing is that we as parents have some leverage and the school can pretty much make it's own rules on discipline.

orinskye · 01-06-2006, 11:17 PM

public schools do have A board (one... for the whole district

) and students/parants can petition... but it is a lengthy process and a pain in the butt. The zero tolerance policy here is VERY strict.. nothign is pushed aside (aparantly not even a little MUD

....lol).... I have never had any experience with private institutions but i am a little curious about the differences between the two. . . Like qualifications for teachers? is it the same as public? or do they require more? less? does it just depend on the school?

I hope this little girl gets some help though, she seems like a very troubled individual... what about a meeting with all those people and HER parents as well? get everyone involved to resolve the situation? that way the 'fate' of the little girl isnt just left to 'chance' she can be represented by her parants and they could get a better idea of what she is doing to people in school. It is one thing to hear youre daughter did such and such, but it is another thing to confront the child and parents that your daughter did such and such too!

chewysmom · 01-06-2006, 11:33 PM

Sure, here there is a school board too but it is political and run by the city, it is very different from our school board that is a group of private individuals. The thing is that in a private institution, the school can make the rules and hold the students and their parents to a different standard. You must be on the same page with the school, otherwise there will be conflict. Most private schools in Manhattan have an unwritten rule that you must hold your master's degree. Every teacher at my son's school has a master's.

Anyway, I hope you can arrange a meeting like this and resolve some issues with this little girl.

BabyFidgette · 01-06-2006, 11:47 PM

I'm a public school teacher in Jersey. Although I have my master's degree, you do not need it in Jersey as you do in New York. As for Catholic School teachers in Jersey...well, as far as I knew (don't know if it changed), but you didn't even have to have a college degree. Just 60 college credits. Now, I don't know if that changed, but it's also like that for preschools too. That's because they don't get funding from the state. Parents pay thousands in Jersey, and don't realize this. Now, I'm not saying public schools or Catholic schools give better education...but I DO know that in Jersey Catholic schools do NOT put up with the discipline problems like public schools do. They misbehave, and they get in big trouble or kicked out. Actually, I don't know what we can do with these kids anymore as far as punishment. Honestly, most of the parents in my school with "problem" children don't really make a fuss when their children get in trouble. We have ISS (In school suspension)...big deal...they get to sit in a room all day and practically sleep. It's NOT run very well. OSS (out of school suspension)...GREAT they get to stay home sleep, eat, watch tv, and play video games all day. And Saturday detention...if they don't go to this, they get ISS. Now what kid would jeopardize a Saturday when they could sit in ISS and miss school? So, the fact is what do we do to get through to these kids? What do your schools do to get through to these kids cuz in my school we're at a loss?

Thanks!

chewysmom · 01-06-2006, 11:55 PM

Nicole, you make some great points. The thing is, who is responsible for the kid's behaviour? In this instance, what do the girl's parents have to say? If my son came home with a 2 days suspension my blood would be boiling and I would want to get to the bottom of what happened. I would call the other kid's parents and deal with my son. I know many parents who are just too busy to keep track of what is going on in their kid's lives and the only ones it hurts are the kids. The school needs to take responsibility for what is going on during the school day, but what happens when the child is at home? Ultimately, it is the responsibility of the parent to talk to their kids and make sure that they are on track with their school work, social interactions and emotional health.

01-06-2006, 08:10 PM	#1
I luv my pups YT Addict Join Date: May 2005 Location: Minot, ND Posts: 425	Update to Bully Note at School For those of you that have not read the previous post here is the link http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=27334 Well Joran told me finally who wrote the note!! It is a little GIRL in his class. Yes that is right a girl. I couldn't believe it. That is why he wasn't wanting to tell because he was imbarresed that it was a girl. The same girl that beat up a little boy in his class about a month ago. So this morning I went to the school, Joran and I went in and talked to the principal. I am not all that happy about it. I told her who Joran said it was and she started out by telling Joran if he would have told us 2 days ago it would be solved and how to be truthful. I told her that he was scared so it is understandable. Well she talked to the girl and she admitted it and she came back in to tell us that and that she gave her 2 days of time out!! (in school suspension) That is ALL!!! I am so mad. Then she made the girl tell Joran she was sorry. She said the reason she did it was because Joran tells people that she is his girlfriend. Which I don't think is true. He always talks about another girl and that his friend likes this girl. Joran told me she got mad when he told the girl that his friend liked her. Well I have been trying to get ahold of one of the school board members all day, haven't been able to get ahold of them yet. So I will update more when I get more information. I hope this little girl gets some kind of help because she has some terrible anger inside. There was a lot said that made me mad, One comment she made was that she don't make $100,000 a year and we know your mom doesn't but the reason I do this is for the kids???? What is that all about????? There was more but I can't even think right now, I worked both jobs today and I my mind is on overload!! My mom had the boys tonight and said it was good to see Joran in such a good mood, she said it is like he is back to him old self!! I am so happy that he feels better, I hope that he is ok Tuesday when she is allowed back to class!!

01-06-2006, 08:24 PM	#2
txshopper73 Donating YT 14K Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 14,226 Blog Entries: 1	Thanks for the update. I for one, would be upset that was all she got. But maybe the principal will suggest counceling for her...keep us updated as soon as you talk to those school board members. __________________ As always...JMO (Just My Opinion) Kimberley

01-06-2006, 08:40 PM	#3
Connie Loved by Maddie & Libby Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Dakota Posts: 10,732	Melissa...you forgot something! When you called the school this morning and asked to talk to the principal, who is higher up than the asst. principal you have been talking with...you told him you found out who wrote the note and he said, "What note?" The asst. principal had not even told him about the note!!! That is totally nutz! Another thing you forgot was to tell them about Joran's great teacher. Bless her heart...she was the ONLY one taking this serious and yesterday when Joran wasn't in school, she gave the kids a pop spelling test saying it was in preparation for a spelling bee. One of the words was "bury" which was spelled "barrie" by the note writer. 3 kids spelled it "barrie" and she knew one of them wasn't the one because he is Joran's friend. She had it narrowed down to 2 and one of them was the girl that wrote the note. I think that teacher deserves a raise! I hope the school board takes this serious and can educate all the schools to take threats seriously until proven otherwise. One day something will happen that they sluffed off and their a** will be grass...and that will be just fine and dandy with me! (Not that something should happen, but that they end up in hot water for lack of responsibility! Yes...Joran acted today as if he had the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders. Bless his heart...how I love that kiddo! __________________ Custom doggie dresses and vests Memory is a country where I can go to see your face - but where do I go when I miss your embrace?

01-06-2006, 09:55 PM	#4
BabyFidgette Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,855	Bullying I'm a teacher, and we have bullying going on in my school too. I'm a middle school teacher. We're supposed to have a "no tolerance" policy, and EVERY inquiry is supposed to be called into the cops, but they're not! Oh, and about asst. principals and principals not being on the same page....it's like that in our school too. The right hand doesn't know what the left is doing. If your son is seriously afraid of this girl, take it as high as you can honey, and don't back down! It doesn't matter if the principal is making $50,000 or $500,000, he/she is there to do a job, and if he/she is not doing it he/she shouldn't be there! That's just MHO. __________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!"

01-06-2006, 10:02 PM	#5
Shanatink Mommy to 3 Princesses Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: DFW Texas Posts: 11,030	Im so sorry you had to deal with all that. I cant believe a girl would do that. I hope everything get better for Joran and for you __________________ Custom Dog Clothing Boutique www.TinkerbellsCloset.com

01-06-2006, 10:10 PM	#7
Yorkie Mum YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Somewhere land Posts: 364	Can You call social services or take the note into the police station. The note is a threat and is against the law. Joy

01-06-2006, 10:27 PM	#8
orinskye YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: California Posts: 2,990	i agree she should have been more severely punished but the zero tolerance policy is a load of BS. . . Yes, and i am a teacher. My brother got suspended indeffinatly and was in danger of not graduating because a cop said he was high (he was not high... we walked by a bunch of kids who were getting high, and my brother laughed and said "you guys are stupid, there is a cop watching you"... so everyone split, and my brother walked calmly to school where he was hauled into the office and suspended. the cop and administration was mad because he refused to tell them who was there) . He ended up having to switch schools to a continuation and bust his butt to get his GED before they could suspend him permanantly. anyways there have been MANY other instances with the zero tolerance policy that are ludicrous and downright abuse of power. whats worse is there idea of "justice", my parents were sent a letter BEFORE i started high school saying that i was in danger of being expelled from their high school if i put a toe out of line (and this is because i had a problem with a teacher who wrote me up for tracking mud in her classroom on a RAINY day ).... so here you have it. There are pros and cons to every system and these are deffinatly the cons of teh zero tolerance policy. I dont doubt that it should protect those students still in school, but just like some people get falsly accused and sent to jail... some people get falsly accused and expelled (and what kind of message is this sending to the kids ????) On a further note: the lack of communication is clearly an issue. what you can do it go onto the district website and get all the important phone numbers from it and start calling EVERYONE. im serious, BUG THE HELL OUT OF them!!!! Call the superintendant if you have to! Oh, and that was very smart of that teacher to do the "pop quize"

01-06-2006, 10:47 PM	#9
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	I'm so glad you got to the bottom of this! I would still pursue it further. In my book a 2 day suspension is not good enough. If she is beating kids up and writing these notes, she will continue. I think sometimes the girls can be more cruel than the boys. If I were you I would call a meeting between her parents, the principal, the teacher, the school psychologist and you to discuss how this child will be dealt with in the future should something happen again with her behaviour. They also need to find out WHY she did it. Just because they found out WHO it was does not mean that it is over. I'm glad that Joran is feeling better tho and he has a very smart teacher!

01-06-2006, 11:01 PM	#11
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	Yes, it has to be done! I know schools in Manhattan have a psychologist on staff and they have open door policies for kids AND their parents. On the issue of bullying and violence, most schools say they have a "zero tolerance" for it, but when it actually happens they push it aside. It's tougher in the public schools because they really don't have to answer to the parents or a board or anything. I send my son to a private school and the principal does not mess around. There is a child in my son's grade with terrible problems and the school has tried to work with them. The rumor is that he will not be returning for 2nd grade. The thing is that we as parents have some leverage and the school can pretty much make it's own rules on discipline.

01-06-2006, 11:17 PM	#12
orinskye YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: California Posts: 2,990	public schools do have A board (one... for the whole district ) and students/parants can petition... but it is a lengthy process and a pain in the butt. The zero tolerance policy here is VERY strict.. nothign is pushed aside (aparantly not even a little MUD ....lol).... I have never had any experience with private institutions but i am a little curious about the differences between the two. . . Like qualifications for teachers? is it the same as public? or do they require more? less? does it just depend on the school? I hope this little girl gets some help though, she seems like a very troubled individual... what about a meeting with all those people and HER parents as well? get everyone involved to resolve the situation? that way the 'fate' of the little girl isnt just left to 'chance' she can be represented by her parants and they could get a better idea of what she is doing to people in school. It is one thing to hear youre daughter did such and such, but it is another thing to confront the child and parents that your daughter did such and such too!

01-06-2006, 11:33 PM	#13
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	Sure, here there is a school board too but it is political and run by the city, it is very different from our school board that is a group of private individuals. The thing is that in a private institution, the school can make the rules and hold the students and their parents to a different standard. You must be on the same page with the school, otherwise there will be conflict. Most private schools in Manhattan have an unwritten rule that you must hold your master's degree. Every teacher at my son's school has a master's. Anyway, I hope you can arrange a meeting like this and resolve some issues with this little girl.

01-06-2006, 11:47 PM	#14
BabyFidgette Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,855	I'm a public school teacher in Jersey. Although I have my master's degree, you do not need it in Jersey as you do in New York. As for Catholic School teachers in Jersey...well, as far as I knew (don't know if it changed), but you didn't even have to have a college degree. Just 60 college credits. Now, I don't know if that changed, but it's also like that for preschools too. That's because they don't get funding from the state. Parents pay thousands in Jersey, and don't realize this. Now, I'm not saying public schools or Catholic schools give better education...but I DO know that in Jersey Catholic schools do NOT put up with the discipline problems like public schools do. They misbehave, and they get in big trouble or kicked out. Actually, I don't know what we can do with these kids anymore as far as punishment. Honestly, most of the parents in my school with "problem" children don't really make a fuss when their children get in trouble. We have ISS (In school suspension)...big deal...they get to sit in a room all day and practically sleep. It's NOT run very well. OSS (out of school suspension)...GREAT they get to stay home sleep, eat, watch tv, and play video games all day. And Saturday detention...if they don't go to this, they get ISS. Now what kid would jeopardize a Saturday when they could sit in ISS and miss school? So, the fact is what do we do to get through to these kids? What do your schools do to get through to these kids cuz in my school we're at a loss? Thanks! __________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!"

01-06-2006, 11:55 PM	#15
chewysmom My Precious Pup Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New York City Posts: 2,092	Nicole, you make some great points. The thing is, who is responsible for the kid's behaviour? In this instance, what do the girl's parents have to say? If my son came home with a 2 days suspension my blood would be boiling and I would want to get to the bottom of what happened. I would call the other kid's parents and deal with my son. I know many parents who are just too busy to keep track of what is going on in their kid's lives and the only ones it hurts are the kids. The school needs to take responsibility for what is going on during the school day, but what happens when the child is at home? Ultimately, it is the responsibility of the parent to talk to their kids and make sure that they are on track with their school work, social interactions and emotional health.