Depression

[Lovetodream88]

There are a lot of people in the world who just don't get depression so I wanted to share this article Things You Should Never Say To A Person With Depression - How To Talk To Your Depressed Friend - Cosmopolitan

[sandy simpson]

Thanks for sharing that. Unless you have had depression it is very hard to understand it. Lots of love, prayer and understanding is needed.

[smorton2186]

I've been depressed for a long time and have heard all of those things. A lot of people and therapist seem to think depression is just like being lazy and can be fixed by getting out more, which has never helped me.

[Marhcarter]

As a nurse, I am all about better living through chemistry. (PLEASE take your prescribed medications.) Just do NOT think that coming to the ED weekly will help because your decision to drink alcohol (a depressant) and not take your medication has rendered you suicidal. (Sorry, this is a generalized statement to the public at large, not to anyone here!)

[Marhcarter]

Originally Posted by smorton2186

I've been depressed for a long time and have heard all of those things. A lot of people and therapist seem to think depression is just like being lazy and can be fixed by getting out more, which has never helped me.

It is a chemical imbalance, helped by proper medication therapy.

[DBlain]

Originally Posted by Marhcarter

It is a chemical imbalance, helped by proper medication therapy.

Depression is so sad and confusing to me because while I know meds are the way to go I know several serious cases where nothing seemed to work. 10 days ago, a close friend's 29 year old daughter took her own life. She was a highly skilled nurse at the U of MI cardiac care unit. She performed excellent at her job and then went home and harldy left the couch. 15 years of different meds, doctors, and counseling yet nothing seemed to really help this gal. She had high hopes and was always striving to kick it, even had an appointment set up with a new doc that she had heard great things about. Yet after her shift she went to a seldom used area of the hospital and overdosed on her meds. My mother in law has been fighting this for 20 years, she has had shock therapy and been on at least 10 different kinds of meds through the years, but she rarely gets dressed anymore and cries multiple times a day, I think the only thing she cares about are her dogs and her husband, she seems to care little about her children or grandchild or friends she once had. It has gotten so that we no longer have a relationship with her. She was a nurse and my father in law a doctor, so they have not hesitated to rely on medicine yet nothing has lifted this cloud from over her head.

If you have an infection you can take an antibiotic and it clears up, if you have an ache you can take aspirin or something to make it go away, but with depression the medical solution seems to still be a mystery since it does not always work for everyone.

[smorton2186]

Originally Posted by Marhcarter

It is a chemical imbalance, helped by proper medication therapy.

thanks, but I've tried anti-depressants and am still on them, I have tried different ones, none have helped. I have also seen 8 different therapist, who have all made things worse for me. Medication and therapy are not the cure all for depression. I think "see a therapist and take medication" might need to be added to that list as I've heard those quite a bit too. I know they help some people, but they aren't the answer for everyone.

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by DBlain

Depression is so sad and confusing to me because while I know meds are the way to go I know several serious cases where nothing seemed to work. 10 days ago, a close friend's 29 year old daughter took her own life. She was a highly skilled nurse at the U of MI cardiac care unit. She performed excellent at her job and then went home and harldy left the couch. 15 years of different meds, doctors, and counseling yet nothing seemed to really help this gal. She had high hopes and was always striving to kick it, even had an appointment set up with a new doc that she had heard great things about. Yet after her shift she went to a seldom used area of the hospital and overdosed on her meds. My mother in law has been fighting this for 20 years, she has had shock therapy and been on at least 10 different kinds of meds through the years, but she rarely gets dressed anymore and cries multiple times a day, I think the only thing she cares about are her dogs and her husband, she seems to care little about her children or grandchild or friends she once had. It has gotten so that we no longer have a relationship with her. She was a nurse and my father in law a doctor, so they have not hesitated to rely on medicine yet nothing has lifted this cloud from over her head.

If you have an infection you can take an antibiotic and it clears up, if you have an ache you can take aspirin or something to make it go away, but with depression the medical solution seems to still be a mystery since it does not always work for everyone.

Did these women have a therapist and do daily therapy?

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by smorton2186

thanks, but I've tried anti-depressants and am still on them, I have tried different ones, none have helped. I have also seen 8 different therapist, who have all made things worse for me. Medication and therapy are not the cure all for depression. I think "see a therapist and take medication" might need to be added to that list as I've heard those quite a bit too. I know they help some people, but they aren't the answer for everyone.

Its can take a long time to find the right therapist and the right combo of medicines.

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by smorton2186

I've been depressed for a long time and have heard all of those things. A lot of people and therapist seem to think depression is just like being lazy and can be fixed by getting out more, which has never helped me.

Um, your own THERAPIST states depression is part 'laziness'??? If so, PLEASE seek a different therapist bc that's unacceptable, and that therapist is horrible. Don't listen to him/her or take in what they're saying to you bc it's BS. Keep pushing for the right combo of meds/therapist/whatever helps you...never ever give up.

Originally Posted by DBlain

Depression is so sad and confusing to me because while I know meds are the way to go I know several serious cases where nothing seemed to work. 10 days ago, a close friend's 29 year old daughter took her own life. She was a highly skilled nurse at the U of MI cardiac care unit. She performed excellent at her job and then went home and harldy left the couch. 15 years of different meds, doctors, and counseling yet nothing seemed to really help this gal. She had high hopes and was always striving to kick it, even had an appointment set up with a new doc that she had heard great things about. Yet after her shift she went to a seldom used area of the hospital and overdosed on her meds. My mother in law has been fighting this for 20 years, she has had shock therapy and been on at least 10 different kinds of meds through the years, but she rarely gets dressed anymore and cries multiple times a day, I think the only thing she cares about are her dogs and her husband, she seems to care little about her children or grandchild or friends she once had. It has gotten so that we no longer have a relationship with her. She was a nurse and my father in law a doctor, so they have not hesitated to rely on medicine yet nothing has lifted this cloud from over her head.

If you have an infection you can take an antibiotic and it clears up, if you have an ache you can take aspirin or something to make it go away, but with depression the medical solution seems to still be a mystery since it does not always work for everyone.

So sorry to hear all of this. As someone who has very treatment resistant depression, I understand what these women go through. I so wish your friend's daughter was still here, and still fighting the fight - it's such an inexplicably excruciatingly painful fight, so I truly feel for both of them.

It sounds like your mother in law has tried so many things. Has she tried any/all combos of meds, including the newer ones, I wonder? I hope she hasn't given up on continuing to try different combos. Really good psychs will try more novel approaches like cytomel, the MAOIs, abilify, ritalin or adderall, and more of the mood stabilizer drugs like lithium or lamictal.

Originally Posted by smorton2186

thanks, but I've tried anti-depressants and am still on them, I have tried different ones, none have helped. I have also seen 8 different therapist, who have all made things worse for me. Medication and therapy are not the cure all for depression. I think "see a therapist and take medication" might need to be added to that list as I've heard those quite a bit too. I know they help some people, but they aren't the answer for everyone.

I completely hear you and understand. I'm so sorry if you're still suffering and not feeling the relief you deserve through the meds and therapy. It's so painful, it truly is...and it's such a deadening, hopeless pain at times. Please keep fighting though, bc I truly believe you will one day find a better combination of things that work. Keep asking your prescriber to try something different, as many times as it takes!!!

[DBlain]

Originally Posted by Lovetodream88

Did these women have a therapist and do daily therapy?

Taylor, I don't know every detail and unfortunately my father in law is in control of everything, he is an old style doctor that does not like to be questioned or given advice. He is also a difficult person that has never had a good relationship with any of his three children so there has always been a distant between us. The mother always took a back seat to my FIL so this makes it even harder to be involved so we don't know the nitty gritty. I will say this has lead me to understand that this a real medical condition other than a behavior problem because it runs in my husbands family. His younger sister has been on meds and therapy for at least 25 years and was just granted disability for it, because in spite of a degree from Purdue could not hold down a retail clerk's job. On the other had many in the family believe my mother in law is so depressed because she has lived with my FIL for 55 years. All this has lead to not knowing all the details but only that they keep trying different medicines and all types of different therapies.

I do know my friends daughter was on at least 10 different meds over the years with multiple MD's and therapies.

[DBlain]

[QUOTE=Wylie's Mom;4363592]
So sorry to hear all of this. As someone who has very treatment resistant depression, I understand what these women go through. I so wish your friend's daughter was still here, and still fighting the fight - it's such an inexplicably excruciatingly painful fight, so I truly feel for both of them.
It sounds like your mother in law has tried so many things. Has she tried any/all combos of meds, including the newer ones, I wonder? I hope she hasn't given up on continuing to try different combos. Really good psychs will try more novel approaches like cytomel, the MAOIs, abilify, ritalin or adderall, and more of the mood stabilizer drugs like lithium or lamictal.
QUOTE]

We all wish Carla was still here but her mom said they are taking comfort in that she is no longer in pain and that in some way they feel like a weight has been lifted because they were so affected by her struggles and suffered along with her and for her as she tried to find something that would help her. The memorial was held at the hospital since being a nurse was a big part of her life. There were many co workers that spoke and you could tell how much they thought of her, they talked about her infectious laugh, her off beat sense of humor, her practical jokes, how much her patients liked her and her willingness to help out all the other nurses even on the most difficult cases. A few of our friends were saying later, how could someone like that be depressed enough to take their life. I think one of the things that made it harder for her is she worked the night shift and she would be taking her meds at different times and then taking stuff like Benadryl to get sleep after a long difficult shift. Her doctor advised her to change shifts but I guess having low seniority at the hospital made that difficult.

As you can tell from my above post about my mother in law we have always been kept at arms length so don't know all the details. If this was going on with my mom it would be different since I would have a lot of control. But my husband's family are very distant with each other. Even though my MIL was not in the throes of depression while my husband was growing I get the impression she was always a bit removed and not overly close and loving with her kids. My husband does not have that much compassion for her either, first because I don't think he ever felt that much love for her, but also because when he first started his career he struggled with panic attacks which he muscled through with meds and therapy and a kind of tuff love on himself, so since that worked for him, he can not understand why his mother and sister can not do the same.

It's odd because like I have said before on cancer seeming to surround me so does mental health issues. My sister's husband is bi polar and twice the year before last tried to take his life, one time he was so close to death he spent a full week in ICU. He used to state that he did not want meds because he could accomplish more in a week in his manic state than most people could accomplish in a month, but then when the depression would set in he could hardly get out of bed and that state would last longer. Now he is pretty good about taking his meds but I know they don't make him feel that great, if he takes them to early in the evening he falls asleep, if he waits to late he can't get up in the morning to get to work at a reasonable time, he also seems to not have much energy. Thankfully he runs his own accounting practice and can work to an extent at his own pace.

I of course don't know the answer to any of this but it does seem like while there is a large variety of medicine on the market some people just can't seem to find the right combination to feel good or the side effects
keep them from wanting to take it.

[Christinee]

My little brother is depressed Actually I don't know if it's just depression of something more serious like maybe he's skitzophranic. He wont work, he has been just trying to freeload and live off of everyone. He seems very paranoid which as lost him jobs when he does find one. My other brother said he's heard him talk to him self. If you drive in the car with him, he will sometimes tell you to stop out of nowhere so he can just get out and walk right there in no where in particular. It's really weird. He is a young good looking kid who could easily get a job if he wanted, so no one knows what to do. It is a really tough place to be in as a family member. I told my mom he needs help. I just dont htink he functions in his head like everyone else and it's making it impossible for him to function and hold a job. It's tough.

Btw... he's also very manipulating too. He likes giving guilt trips about his situation like to my mom. But he will just stay at her house and eat all her food and ask for money. I know he's not right in the head, but at the same time he can't just keep doing what he is doing. It sucks.

[smorton2186]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Um, your own THERAPIST states depression is part 'laziness'??? If so, PLEASE seek a different therapist bc that's unacceptable, and that therapist is horrible. Don't listen to him/her or take in what they're saying to you bc it's BS. Keep pushing for the right combo of meds/therapist/whatever helps you...never ever give up.

The majority of the therapist I have seen have told me that if I make friends and get out and about more then I will be happy. Even when I used to exercise they dismissed that as "unsocial activity." Glad I got a yorkie and a kitty, they bring joy to my life.

[Christinee]

I think depression makes you lazy because you have no motivation to do anything because you are unhappy. Not because you are a lazy person. The key is figuring out what is making you depressed and fixing it.

I've gone through my own periods of depression and I know, when I did I didn't even want to get out of bed.