Depression

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by smorton2186

The majority of the therapist I have seen have told me that if I make friends and get out and about more then I will be happy. Even when I used to exercise they dismissed that as "unsocial activity." Glad I got a yorkie and a kitty, they bring joy to my life.

Oh my gosh ! Okay, I have been SO lucky with therapists bc they've all been amazing. I had one back when I lived in Minneapolis, and 2 different ones here (I haven't been in therapy for a few years now though). And they were all utterly amazing...never dismissive or simplistic or dogmatic or plain silly ("get out more, yeah that's it!"...never).

If ONLY it was so flippin' easy as flipping a switch by "going out w/ friends" or being social. Puh-lease! Like we wouldn't have tried that a hundred times if it was *that* easy!!!??? What they're saying to you is simply nonsense, so don't take it in as fact. Your feelings and illness are way more complex than that and if anyone should know that, a therapist should. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with someone being dismissive toward you like that...you deserve better care.

Always feel free to vent here about it, bc many of us have been where you're at...you're not alone .

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by DBlain

I of course don't know the answer to any of this but it does seem like while there is a large variety of medicine on the market some people just can't seem to find the right combination to feel good or the side effects
keep them from wanting to take it.

Yup, totally agree. It can take forEVER to find the right combo, and I mean years...meanwhile, the person sinks deeper and deeper. I do agree that for some people, it seems there is no answer bc they don't get better. I believe there is almost always a combo that will work, but it takes a good psych, a willing patient, patience, and advocating for yourself if you're not feeling better. The fact she's had shock treatments and didn't get better is a real shame. They do some deep brain stim now that's supposed to help some people. Of course, maybe she never even hears of these things given how sheltered she is, which is too bad.

Originally Posted by Christinee

My little brother is depressed Actually I don't know if it's just depression of something more serious like maybe he's skitzophranic. He wont work, he has been just trying to freeload and live off of everyone. He seems very paranoid which as lost him jobs when he does find one. My other brother said he's heard him talk to him self. If you drive in the car with him, he will sometimes tell you to stop out of nowhere so he can just get out and walk right there in no where in particular. It's really weird. He is a young good looking kid who could easily get a job if he wanted, so no one knows what to do. It is a really tough place to be in as a family member. I told my mom he needs help. I just dont htink he functions in his head like everyone else and it's making it impossible for him to function and hold a job. It's tough.

Btw... he's also very manipulating too. He likes giving guilt trips about his situation like to my mom. But he will just stay at her house and eat all her food and ask for money. I know he's not right in the head, but at the same time he can't just keep doing what he is doing. It sucks.

Poor guy . Has he sought help for a diagnosis? I hope he does bc it could change his life around. Plus, you don't want him getting worse and decompensating if he truly does have a serious mental health issue.

Originally Posted by Christinee

I think depression makes you lazy because you have no motivation to do anything because you are unhappy. Not because you are a lazy person. The key is figuring out what is making you depressed and fixing it.

I've gone through my own periods of depression and I know, when I did I didn't even want to get out of bed.

When I was in the stage of not being able to get out of bed, it didn't have anything to do w/ laziness. I literally just could *not* do it...just couldn't function as a normal healthy person would be able to. I see laziness as when I'm capable of doing something, but I don't do it. When truly deeply depressed, the capability isn't there, imo.

[Christinee]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

When I was in the stage of not being able to get out of bed, it didn't have anything to do w/ laziness. I literally just could *not* do it...just couldn't function as a normal healthy person would be able to. I see laziness as when I'm capable of doing something, but I don't do it. When truly deeply depressed, the capability isn't there, imo.

I agree, and that is what I mean. Depression makes you lazy. Not that you are lazy, but it makes everything seem not worth it. It just kills any motivation. I've been there myself. I do not in anywya think it means someone is lazy. I totally understand where it puts someone.

I agree about my brother. He seems to be going down fast. My mom caught him sleeping in her back yard on the cement last week. She is a nurse. She must have resources. I've been working on her to do something before it gets too out of hand. It makes me really sad.

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by Christinee

I agree, and that is what I mean. Depression makes you lazy. Not that you are lazy, but it makes everything seem not worth it. It just kills any motivation. I've been there myself. I do not in anywya think it means someone is lazy. I totally understand where it puts someone.

I agree about my brother. He seems to be going down fast. My mom caught him sleeping in her back yard on the cement last week. She is a nurse. She must have resources. I've been working on her to do something before it gets too out of hand. It makes me really sad.

Yup, we're on the same page. It just kills all energy and brings you to your knees.

Your poor brother...so sorry your family is going through this; it must be so hard to watch it, and you probably feel so helpless .

[Christinee]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Yup, we're on the same page. It just kills all energy and brings you to your knees.

Your poor brother...so sorry your family is going through this; it must be so hard to watch it, and you probably feel so helpless .

Yes, that is exactly how I think we all feel. I do think he's skitzophanic. It scares me because I know people do unpredictable stuff in that state. I don't have much to be able to help him, so I am talking to other family members and pushing my mom too. We all don't know exactly what to do about it. I pray about it.

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by smorton2186

The majority of the therapist I have seen have told me that if I make friends and get out and about more then I will be happy. Even when I used to exercise they dismissed that as "unsocial activity." Glad I got a yorkie and a kitty, they bring joy to my life.

These are not the norm and not good therapists.

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by Christinee

I think depression makes you lazy because you have no motivation to do anything because you are unhappy. Not because you are a lazy person. The key is figuring out what is making you depressed and fixing it.

I've gone through my own periods of depression and I know, when I did I didn't even want to get out of bed.

It's a chemical imbalance so it's just not easily fixable and that's what a lot of people don't get.

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Oh my gosh ! Okay, I have been SO lucky with therapists bc they've all been amazing. I had one back when I lived in Minneapolis, and 2 different ones here (I haven't been in therapy for a few years now though). And they were all utterly amazing...never dismissive or simplistic or dogmatic or plain silly ("get out more, yeah that's it!"...never).

If ONLY it was so flippin' easy as flipping a switch by "going out w/ friends" or being social. Puh-lease! Like we wouldn't have tried that a hundred times if it was *that* easy!!!??? What they're saying to you is simply nonsense, so don't take it in as fact. Your feelings and illness are way more complex than that and if anyone should know that, a therapist should. I'm really sorry you're having to deal with someone being dismissive toward you like that...you deserve better care.

Always feel free to vent here about it, bc many of us have been where you're at...you're not alone .

[Lovetodream88]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

When I was in the stage of not being able to get out of bed, it didn't have anything to do w/ laziness. I literally just could *not* do it...just couldn't function as a normal healthy person would be able to. I see laziness as when I'm capable of doing something, but I don't do it. When truly deeply depressed, the capability isn't there, imo.

I very much agree with this!

[Christinee]

Originally Posted by Lovetodream88

It's a chemical imbalance so it's just not easily fixable and that's what a lot of people don't get.

I agree. Different degrees of it. I was just unhappy with my life when I had my depression.

[Mistymillar]

I had a black dog, his name was depression - YouTube

[yorkiemini]

Lots of wisdom on this thread!
Lazy is a choice. Lack of motivation from depression is not a choice.
Emperical and research data is very clear that it takes both medication and psychotherapy for depression treatment to be successful.
Unfortunately, there are therapists on every corner, but not all are wonderful and there are fewer psychiatrists than are needed - and then again, not all are good and caring.
Getting the combination right takes time and effort - neither of which is good for the depressed individual.

The major issue for bipolar and schizophrenic individuals is not taking their medications.

Again, unfortunately, there is no one size-fits-all medication and treatment. One of the greatest gifts a depressed person can have is sincere people who care about them!

[Deb1]

I have family that deal with depression and all are on medication. With the help of a therapist and medication, they are able to lead fairly normal lives. It does take time to find one that works for them and the right dosage. Yes, it is a daily struggle and they still get really depressed. Winter really effects the moods and makes it worse. I have found that it is better to let them talk and just be there to listen and support and not try to "fix" or advise. It is a illness and people really need to have compassion and not make lite of it!

[crystalsmom]

.....You have been in my prayers, as I explained to someone here, I was in a deep depression after one child of ours was born, so I can relate and it might be of help to know, never again.

I was on a website from the UK once that had a section just for people dealing with depression and I know how it helped them to talk to each other every day. I wonder if it might be a good idea to keep this going beyond the holidays for people to pop in who need support and others to offer good cheer. Of course it's totally what you all think about the suggestion.