How do you do it...

[txshopper73]

I try to stay away from them. They can be ignorant about things at times. So, why go over to get my feelings hurt?

Also, I have a daughter from a previous marriage. When my husband and I first got together, they loved my daughter as though she were their own...then I had their grandson. I no longer subject my daughter to their brash treatment and have said plenty to them about it. If you think I'm blunt here, you should see how I get along with them!

[kittendes]

I get along great with my mother in-law, she is a great lady, bless her heart, but not terribly smart, she calls me whenever she has a problem. My husbands brother has s*** on me several times & I have NO time for him. The rest on my husbands family is great & I have no problems with any of them.
As for my family, we all seem to get along fairly well. My sister is probably the hardest to get along with. My father is married to a psycho-bi***, and she has cut him off from all of us.
Other than that we seem pretty normal.....
Des

[ehunney]

i don't get along with my bf's family, except for his little sister, who is 15 and the sweetest little thing.His mother HATES me!!!!! it's because he is the only boy, and I think she feels like I'm replacing her, which isn't true! And his older sister hates me for the same reason too. Also, his mom is VERY controlling, and she doesn't like me, bc I don't do what she says or wants, and she's used to that with everyone else. We just had are 2 year anniversary, and for about a year and half of our relationship I took there mess, but for the past 6 months, i've been speaking my mind a.k.a being FOUL to them. I let them treat me badly for no reason for almost 2 years, and I still was kind if not overly nice to them(and I regret this the most,i should of said something earlier). There is NO reason for them to dislike me, I'm not loose(my baby is my first and hopefully last boyfriend, not saying that anyone who's had more then one bf is, i'm just overly picky i guess), i've never smoked, been in trouble, or any of that stuff and I'm nice.....most of the time hee hee!!!!!! She's tried to break us up so many times.And when my babe asked her why she didn't like me, do you know what she said? It's not that I don't like her.....and then she came up with some lame excuse as to why she treated me so badly, for no reason. I wanted to call her up and blast her so badly, but while I dislike her greatly, I feel like I still have to show respect to her, bc she's his mother. THEN she gets mad because he spends more time with me then with her.What did she expect? she can't marry him(that would be weird )!!!!And she resents me bc I'm very very close to my family(my older sis is my 2nd mom, and my dad is my hero....literally), and her family is close but not nearly as close as mine. I've got so stressed over it, that my hair was falling out. WOO!!! sorry you guys if this is too long, i had to vent. I feel so much better! Thanks!!!!!

[reneernc]

Originally Posted by NewYorkieMa&Pa

For those of you who have in-laws (parent, sibling, etc.) how do you get along with them?

Just wanting to hear how other people get along and your personal experiences...

Hope to get a LOT of responses....

Thanks YT!

Wow! That is a thought provoking question! Swore I would never get personal on here...but you have touched a hot button! Actually a "steaming" one.
I get along with them by attempting to "consider the source" and thank God I am halfway normal and not one of them! They are proof that God watches over fools and children. Thank goodness Christmas comes only once a year..maybe in about 6 months...my response may be a bit different!
Sorry....I don't think that helps much!

[fourdez]

I guess I've been really blessed.. I love all my in-laws, including their spouses and kids (and thats a lot of people, my husband has 5 siblings). They loved me from the start, my family loves my husband and his family, etc. etc. etc. I know, I know.. it sounds sickening, but its true. My friends who know us for years cannot believe how well the 2 families gets along.

[BamaFan121s]

It's actually getting easier now b/c my husband thinks they are just as crazy/sorry as I do. My mother-in-law only opens her mouth to discuss one of 3 things: 1) how sick she is/has been/how bad she feels 2) to talk about someone else 3) Bingo/Karaoke/Casino...I just walk off right in the middle of her trying to tell me any of the such and come back later...it's rude, but gets the point accross. We have gotten to where we only visit with them on special occasions--a birthday, Christmas, Easter. Usually there are other "normal" people around that we can talk to. Last time, we never even went in the (nasty) house...we stayed outside talking to a cousin. If my child has to go to the bathroom while we are there, that is our que to leave b/c is is so disgusting! Then we stop for her at a gas station on the way out

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by BamaFan121s

It's actually getting easier now b/c my husband thinks they are just as crazy/sorry as I do.

My husband has come to this conclusion about his family too. In fact, he and one sibling are the only normal people in the FAMILY. Don't feel bad about walking away, I've had comments made to me that would curl your hair...when THAT happens, I simply walk away. I don't think these people even realize WHY I walk away. The other times, I grin and bear it, but ignore it just the same.

[BamaFan121s]

Originally Posted by bchgirl

My husband has come to this conclusion about his family too. In fact, he and one sibling are the only normal people in the FAMILY. Don't feel bad about walking away, I've had comments made to me that would curl your hair...when THAT happens, I simply walk away. I don't think these people even realize WHY I walk away. The other times, I grin and bear it, but ignore it just the same.

Same here...mine has one normal brother (and his wife). Whenever they have his family (not us) to their house, they spread towels ALL OVER the floor b/c they are so nasty and tell them it's because their dog isn't house trained. Last time we were all there, his mother had been rambling for God knows how long to everyone--I'd spaced out and come back, she was still going. She was complaining about how her sister (who is 'normal') is always complaining. (Truth is, her normal sister got a pool and she was jealous!) I just cut her off and said, "well, I tend to try not to talk to people who make me that miserable with their constant complaining." She looked at me and said, "Is that why you never come see me?" In the dead silence of everyone waiting on my answer, I just said, "Yeah, most of the time it is." My husband and his normal family laughed so hard. Now of course, she turned it around when she retold the story and made it seem like I walked up to her and just said that out of the blue. But I think that was one of the turning points for my husband. He'd heard her say stuff, but this was the first time he'd witnessed what was actually said and how it was turned around. He knows now she's out to cause trouble.

[whispersmom2]

This is gonna sound really, really mean but those who would know our family would totally agree with this statement. My in-laws are ever so much easier to get along with now, because they are both in heaven. My FIL was a Meth. minister and his wife was a perfect preachers' wife..She had a girl picked out for her son, my hubby. I grew up very poor, but with a good family and ambitions to become educated and do the very best I could. To her, I was not good enough for her son or family- you know, the poh white trash mentality.- nor were our children. There were times when they absolutely needed me to act as nurse, and I did, but otherwise, there was very little interaction. Long after she died, I learned that my MIL talked to the WHOLE family against me. I chuckle when I remember a cousin jokingly saying she did not know my first name was NOT "That", cause my MIL would start every conversation about me with the phrase "That L...." even her brother told me things she said and frankly, they missed out on a lot when they chose to discredit me. My kids were not spared until later years. Both in-laws needed me in their last years and of course, I was there. I do not believe that we should deny things and care to the elderly in the family because of past feelings. I personally, feel we still have an obligation to cae for them. My mom and dad divorced after 34 years for another woman. My mom was my bestest friend. In late years, my dad depended on me to help with him and his second wife and again, I was there. AND, I gladly cared for him even though the remainder of the family would not speak to them. I loved him and and my mom and I dealt with them from mt perspective of love.
Okay, chapter is finished..I was a middle kid, older sis who was dad's fav died of Lou Gehrig's disease at 49 and my brother was my mom's fav.
My granny was the model for my life-strong, determined, nothing got her down even thoough she was in W/C and I had to care for her from age 7...I am thankful for her more than anyone else in my childhood..

[txshopper73]

Originally Posted by whispersmom2

This is gonna sound really, really mean but those who would know our family would totally agree with this statement. My in-laws are ever so much easier to get along with now, because they are both in heaven. My FIL was a Meth. minister and his wife was a perfect preachers' wife..She had a girl picked out for her son, my hubby. I grew up very poor, but with a good family and ambitions to become educated and do the very best I could. To her, I was not good enough for her son or family- you know, the poh white trash mentality.- nor were our children. There were times when they absolutely needed me to act as nurse, and I did, but otherwise, there was very little interaction. Long after she died, I learned that my MIL talked to the WHOLE family against me. I chuckle when I remember a cousin jokingly saying she did not know my first name was NOT "That", cause my MIL would start every conversation about me with the phrase "That L...." even her brother told me things she said and frankly, they missed out on a lot when they chose to discredit me. My kids were not spared until later years. Both in-laws needed me in their last years and of course, I was there. I do not believe that we should deny things and care to the elderly in the family because of past feelings. I personally, feel we still have an obligation to cae for them. My mom and dad divorced after 34 years for another woman. My mom was my bestest friend. In late years, my dad depended on me to help with him and his second wife and again, I was there. AND, I gladly cared for him even though the remainder of the family would not speak to them. I loved him and and my mom and I dealt with them from mt perspective of love.
Okay, chapter is finished..I was a middle kid, older sis who was dad's fav died of Lou Gehrig's disease at 49 and my brother was my mom's fav.
My granny was the model for my life-strong, determined, nothing got her down even thoough she was in W/C and I had to care for her from age 7...I am thankful for her more than anyone else in my childhood..

WOW, Rini! This send a powerful message. Forgiveness. Shame on them for how they treated you and they had to answer to their actions. And, bless you for being the kind hearted, caring person everyone only wishes they could be.

[minniemn]

Originally Posted by whispersmom2

This is gonna sound really, really mean but those who would know our family would totally agree with this statement. My in-laws are ever so much easier to get along with now, because they are both in heaven. My FIL was a Meth. minister and his wife was a perfect preachers' wife..She had a girl picked out for her son, my hubby. I grew up very poor, but with a good family and ambitions to become educated and do the very best I could. To her, I was not good enough for her son or family- you know, the poh white trash mentality.- nor were our children. There were times when they absolutely needed me to act as nurse, and I did, but otherwise, there was very little interaction. Long after she died, I learned that my MIL talked to the WHOLE family against me. I chuckle when I remember a cousin jokingly saying she did not know my first name was NOT "That", cause my MIL would start every conversation about me with the phrase "That L...." even her brother told me things she said and frankly, they missed out on a lot when they chose to discredit me. My kids were not spared until later years. Both in-laws needed me in their last years and of course, I was there. I do not believe that we should deny things and care to the elderly in the family because of past feelings. I personally, feel we still have an obligation to cae for them. My mom and dad divorced after 34 years for another woman. My mom was my bestest friend. In late years, my dad depended on me to help with him and his second wife and again, I was there. AND, I gladly cared for him even though the remainder of the family would not speak to them. I loved him and and my mom and I dealt with them from mt perspective of love.
Okay, chapter is finished..I was a middle kid, older sis who was dad's fav died of Lou Gehrig's disease at 49 and my brother was my mom's fav.
My granny was the model for my life-strong, determined, nothing got her down even thoough she was in W/C and I had to care for her from age 7...I am thankful for her more than anyone else in my childhood..

I had a reply, but after reading this, there is nothing more I could say or think of.

You should be proud of yourself and who you are, that is for sure.

[deb4air]

I love my partners mom and step dad they are some of the most wonderful people i ever met and enjoy them despite any flaws or bad behaviors i see ,the truth is lifes to short to waste time waiting for those you love to get it Right" whatever that is after all living your love which is inside you is the higher ground to walk , not to mention its not for whimps ..but is so worth it! My parents are dead now i had a good realtionship with my mom and a terrible one with my dad i felt my dad abandonded me as a child because of divorce but came to realize it is my own abandonment that hurts me ,Not living your love is the single most hurtful thing we do to ourselves .And forgivness and loving is the most power thing we give to ourselves and to others .I feel blessed having had the experiances so keep in mind ..a silver lining is within a relationship healed ..in lovenlight
Deb

[Latuya]

Originally Posted by whispersmom2

This is gonna sound really, really mean but those who would know our family would totally agree with this statement. My in-laws are ever so much easier to get along with now, because they are both in heaven. My FIL was a Meth. minister and his wife was a perfect preachers' wife..She had a girl picked out for her son, my hubby. I grew up very poor, but with a good family and ambitions to become educated and do the very best I could. To her, I was not good enough for her son or family- you know, the poh white trash mentality.- nor were our children. There were times when they absolutely needed me to act as nurse, and I did, but otherwise, there was very little interaction. Long after she died, I learned that my MIL talked to the WHOLE family against me. I chuckle when I remember a cousin jokingly saying she did not know my first name was NOT "That", cause my MIL would start every conversation about me with the phrase "That L...." even her brother told me things she said and frankly, they missed out on a lot when they chose to discredit me. My kids were not spared until later years. Both in-laws needed me in their last years and of course, I was there. I do not believe that we should deny things and care to the elderly in the family because of past feelings. I personally, feel we still have an obligation to cae for them. My mom and dad divorced after 34 years for another woman. My mom was my bestest friend. In late years, my dad depended on me to help with him and his second wife and again, I was there. AND, I gladly cared for him even though the remainder of the family would not speak to them. I loved him and and my mom and I dealt with them from mt perspective of love.
Okay, chapter is finished..I was a middle kid, older sis who was dad's fav died of Lou Gehrig's disease at 49 and my brother was my mom's fav.
My granny was the model for my life-strong, determined, nothing got her down even thoough she was in W/C and I had to care for her from age 7...I am thankful for her more than anyone else in my childhood..

wow... all I can say is, I have to make my husband read this. I was brought up this was too. Respect your elders. Tim is hearing no part of that. His father seems to be fighting for his life and has been in the hospital now for a month. One day he's doing better and the next he's back on the machine. He is not expected to ever recover from this and althought the family has come around and is there from him Tim is taking it as he already went to say good bye. He has no attentions of ever going back to see him. It's really sad. I know Tim has his reasons and I understand his point of view. It's just really hard on me to go see David and don't know what to say when he is having a good day and is able to talk and asks for Tim.

You are a very good person!

[bchgirl]

Originally Posted by Latuya

wow... all I can say is, I have to make my husband read this. I was brought up this was too. Respect your elders. Tim is hearing no part of that. His father seems to be fighting for his life and has been in the hospital now for a month. One day he's doing better and the next he's back on the machine. He is not expected to ever recover from this and althought the family has come around and is there from him Tim is taking it as he already went to say good bye. He has no attentions of ever going back to see him. It's really sad. I know Tim has his reasons and I understand his point of view. It's just really hard on me to go see David and don't know what to say when he is having a good day and is able to talk and asks for Tim.

You are a very good person!

Whew, that's a hard one. If I were you, when asked, I'd simply say..."I'll tell him you were asking for him" and leave it at that. Unfortunately, the fact that someone is able to BECOME a parent, doesn't necessarily make them a GOOD one.