How do i approach this lady?

[kjc]

I would say this:

Look Hon, you appear to be a really nice person, and I wouldn't mind starting a friendship with you, but if my weight is our only similar interest, I really can't see that happening with us.

So, in the future, if you care to discuss any topic under the sun other than my weight, I'll be there for you. We can have a nice little chat and be on our merry way. I am sorry to have to say this, but my weight is my business, and if I want to discuss it, I will put it on the table. Until then, I do not wish to hear another word about it.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

You should thank her for noticing and say that you're almost at your goal weight of 340 lbs If you continue to not say anything to this rude old broad, she will continue to say rude things. One day she's going to pick on the wrong person and get her ass beat She obviously delights in making others feel badly about themselves. Take the joy out of it for her

Lmao!! This made me laugh hahaha

[mizzwanned]

I was thinking of telling her maybe we should start a diet plan together

[GeorgiesMomma]

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

You should thank her for noticing and say that you're almost at your goal weight of 340 lbs If you continue to not say anything to this rude old broad, she will continue to say rude things. One day she's going to pick on the wrong person and get her ass beat She obviously delights in making others feel badly about themselves. Take the joy out of it for her

love it!

[lynzy420]

When an elder says something to me that bothers me, I immediately, with a smile say EXCUSE ME? If she dares repeat it say to her "Mrs. Smith, I really wish you wouldn't say that to me everytime I see you"...usually they are speechless, offer an excuse or even apologize...for the odd bird that doesn't quite get it...I would just say "thanks for your opinion".....usually, not always, but usually one or the other works...

I for one can't disrespect an elder, I just can't...not going to happen no matter what. The things above are as close as I get to that...

[kjc]

Originally Posted by mizzwanned

I was thinking of telling her maybe we should start a diet plan together

Ooooh! I like that. Short, sweet, but says so much!

[lynzy420]

Originally Posted by kjc

Ooooh! I like that. Short, sweet, but says so much!

such sinister souls you both are! How about: When are you starting your diet? Yeah I know, must be something in the water around here that makes us fat! Did you gain weight as you got older or were you always stout? Shall I go on? hehehehe

DO NOT DO THIS, SERIOUSLY DO NOT SAY THESE THINGS!!

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

When an elder says something to me that bothers me, I immediately, with a smile say EXCUSE ME? If she dares repeat it say to her "Mrs. Smith, I really wish you wouldn't say that to me everytime I see you"...usually they are speechless, offer an excuse or even apologize...for the odd bird that doesn't quite get it...I would just say "thanks for your opinion".....usually, not always, but usually one or the other works...

I for one can't disrespect an elder, I just can't...not going to happen no matter what. The things above are as close as I get to that...

I agree if the person is really old & doddery, ill or just out of it, but if they are just a bully, they probably always have been a bully & can honestly & forthrightly be faced with who they are without disrespecting them. Using the "old" card on her, telling her she has really aged lately, would be disrespecting and dishonoring her but not just forthrightly talking to her about what pain she is causing and letting her know it won't be further permitted. An old person should not use their age as a license to hurt and slam a person. All people should be respected and not bullied like she is bullying OP & making her feel bad.

[yorkiemini]

I have no problem disrespecting rudeness.
I'm sure I would point out her rudeness and suggest that she take it elsewhere the next time she sees me coming.

Generally we like to greet folks with positive and gracious comments. Either she doesn't know better or lacks the cognitive ability to discern this. If I didn't want to hear it anymore I put her on notice. You don't deserve this and it clearly bothers you.

[dlaureanonw]

Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1

I would tell her, "You know what....if I wasnt so fat and jolly, that would really hurt my feelings, especially since you are compelled to say that to me every time we meet....but I still get tired of having it pointed out, especially because it isnt true, sweetie!"

[capt_noonie]

The worst is when they ask, did you gain weight? You look better! Unless you are severely underweight, I don't think anyone one looks better with more weight. One of my old customers said this to me years ago. I never wore those shorts again.
Asians moms are the worst.

But I'm getting to the age where I feel like I don't have to smile and nod to everyone anymore.

[celstu1]

Beat her to the punch.... when you see her say it to her first ... "wow, looks like you've gained weight. are you eating a lot this week?"


hopefully she'll get the passive aggressive nature of that statement. If not, then just tell her you don't appreciate her comments, they are mean and uncalled for.

[celstu1]

Even better..... Next time she says something... BURST INTO TEARS!

See her reaction then!

[Gatord]

This must be my sister n law. LOL

She is famous for the same thing. Drives me insane.

When I have lost weight before and lost way too much she made sure she told how sick I looked and she liked me better with some meat on my bones.

And let me tell you, she is a whole lot of woman!

[gemy]

Wow what a rich and diverse group we have. So many helpful comments.

For me, what gets me all the time, ppl who haven't seen me often, will say, oh wow, you've lost a lot of weight, I smile and say, no not at all, I just think you remember me heavier

OP if in your judgement this ole gal isn't suffering from some sort of mental impairment, then there were lots of great options offered, that could fit into your own personal style.


For me I like real humour. but that does depend upon if you have found the ridicuously funny in the situation. I don't know what it would be for you. But there is an element of slap stick, as this ole gal every time she sees you, comments on your weight gain.

I too was raised to respect my elders. But also to honor them. After all someday we will be there. Of course it is closer to me, than to many here on the board.

What I think is you truly think about the situation. Try to see it from all points of view. Then select and preplan your response, that meets with your values and style. And you have many great responses here as well