What the heck!!! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

My lil friend · 11-01-2011, 09:49 AM

Have you ever made a family/social mistake and didn't know you were screwing up? JEEZ!
I found out today that my nieces are all pissed off at me because I haven't been inviting their mother ,, my brother's xwife to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wasn't aware that they were even standing in the same space or looking at each other,much less able to be at social functions together. So noone wants to come to my house for Thanksgiving. I called my brother and had to ASK what the heck was going on. It would of been nice if SOMEBODY had just called me instead of purposly hurting my feelings. I would NEVER hurt any family member on purpose. Ive just been sitting here on the verge of tears. I didn't know any better because my brother is the only one in my family to be divorced that I was close to.
I have always gone out of my way to not hurt family. No matter how hard you try to keep everything good,somebody out there is gonna be upset.

LunasMomma · 11-01-2011, 10:24 AM

Aw, I'm sorry

People can be so hard to read sometimes, it's not your fault. Just call the ex wife and tell her the same thing you posted here, and I'm sure that she will understand. It's hard to deal with divorce and exes, and who to invite to family gatherings, etc. It's no wonder you didn't know the protocol, because there really ISN'T one

If she's not psycho, invite her and see what she says. Smoothing things over with her should bring everyone else around.

gidget529 · 11-01-2011, 10:51 AM

I am a child of divorce, and noone from the other side of the family was ever invited to family functions on the other side. I think your assumption is understandable and certainly not made in ill-will towards her. I would call her and explain why you did it - divorce and thought they would not want to be around each other, but if that is not so she is more than welcome. Divorce and children always makes situations complex.

chachi · 11-01-2011, 11:14 AM

Ex's have never been invited to our family functions. Either in My Husbands family or mine

Lil Sis · 11-01-2011, 11:59 AM

I don't think you are the one at fault at all. If you want to you could call the xwife and talk to her.. otherwise stick with the people who are mature enough to communicate with you.

I have had issues with a sister in law. I got so tired of being the bad guy all the time. She did not speak to me for over a year because I didn't toast her at a party. Now remember, I don't drink much and did not have a drink, was looking out for my children (the girls were about 10ish at the time) was pissed because my husband was drinking too much..did not even notice a toast was being made for her.. but I was the bad guy. The sad part is I didn't even notice she wasnt talking to me until her husband called my dh to complain about me. Last year I put my foot down, I refuse to spend time with the in laws!! It is so much nicer!!!

Sorry-- I didn't mean to vent on your vent.. but I just feel your pain!!!!

11-01-2011, 09:49 AM	#1
My lil friend Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FtWorth,TX,USA Posts: 3,269	What the heck!!! Have you ever made a family/social mistake and didn't know you were screwing up? JEEZ! I found out today that my nieces are all pissed off at me because I haven't been inviting their mother ,, my brother's xwife to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I wasn't aware that they were even standing in the same space or looking at each other,much less able to be at social functions together. So noone wants to come to my house for Thanksgiving. I called my brother and had to ASK what the heck was going on. It would of been nice if SOMEBODY had just called me instead of purposly hurting my feelings. I would NEVER hurt any family member on purpose. Ive just been sitting here on the verge of tears. I didn't know any better because my brother is the only one in my family to be divorced that I was close to. I have always gone out of my way to not hurt family. No matter how hard you try to keep everything good,somebody out there is gonna be upset.

11-01-2011, 10:24 AM	#2
LunasMomma Izzy's Momma Too! Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stuart, Florida Posts: 8,799	Aw, I'm sorry People can be so hard to read sometimes, it's not your fault. Just call the ex wife and tell her the same thing you posted here, and I'm sure that she will understand. It's hard to deal with divorce and exes, and who to invite to family gatherings, etc. It's no wonder you didn't know the protocol, because there really ISN'T one If she's not psycho, invite her and see what she says. Smoothing things over with her should bring everyone else around. __________________ Tracy, Mom to Izzy and Luna

11-01-2011, 10:51 AM	#3
gidget529 Gidget & Sidney's Mom Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: PA Posts: 3,462	I am a child of divorce, and noone from the other side of the family was ever invited to family functions on the other side. I think your assumption is understandable and certainly not made in ill-will towards her. I would call her and explain why you did it - divorce and thought they would not want to be around each other, but if that is not so she is more than welcome. Divorce and children always makes situations complex. __________________ Mommy to Gidget, Sidney & Cricket(RIP)

11-01-2011, 11:14 AM	#4
chachi I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 37,147	Ex's have never been invited to our family functions. Either in My Husbands family or mine __________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431 Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427

11-01-2011, 11:59 AM	#5
Lil Sis Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: South Florida Posts: 8,008	I don't think you are the one at fault at all. If you want to you could call the xwife and talk to her.. otherwise stick with the people who are mature enough to communicate with you. I have had issues with a sister in law. I got so tired of being the bad guy all the time. She did not speak to me for over a year because I didn't toast her at a party. Now remember, I don't drink much and did not have a drink, was looking out for my children (the girls were about 10ish at the time) was pissed because my husband was drinking too much..did not even notice a toast was being made for her.. but I was the bad guy. The sad part is I didn't even notice she wasnt talking to me until her husband called my dh to complain about me. Last year I put my foot down, I refuse to spend time with the in laws!! It is so much nicer!!! Sorry-- I didn't mean to vent on your vent.. but I just feel your pain!!!! __________________ Shinja mom to Remy lil Sis to Bailey and Sammy