Slightly pissed off! - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

JeanieK · 12-31-2009, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TammyJM

I get do get how hard it is to let someone go, I truly do. But you have to get to the point that you see that you are loving that person more than you love yourself. You then have to ask yourself why...why would you give someone else more thought than yourself. ?? Especially when they do not offer you the same in return.

Life is too short to give so much and to never get it in return. It should be equal and the male in your life should want to make you happy as much as you want to see him happy. I know that I am sounding old right now.

I just hate to see you do the things that I did when I was in my early 20's. Do you know, some of the best times that I had when I was your age was when I had no boyfriend and could just go out with my girlfriends on the weekends. It's so easy for me to tell you all of this because I am 37 and have been through a little of what you are dealing with, but trust me....you WILL look back on this time wasted on him and wonder why. You are at the age that you should be focusing on yourself and just having fun.

What if you have a daughter one day...is he the type of guy that you would want to see her dating? If your answer is no, then why do you think that you don't deserve better??

Hugs to ya!!!
Tammy

jmdt · 12-31-2009, 11:18 AM

Sounds to me like he needs to get another job away from these people and away from alcohol. I would say "adios" to him. You risked yourself driving out in the middle of the night to go "help" him. That's bs. What would your parents say??? Sounds like a big baby to me.
Sorry if you were my daughter I would tell you let him go and find someone who deserves you without all the drama. Don't settle because it is comfortable. Loose this looser!!!

MeganS · 12-31-2009, 11:50 AM

I am very sorry that you are dealing with this.

I think you need to put yourself first though. Like the others have said, I would not wait around for him to grow up. He is an adult, it's time to get over this partying thing. Drinks here and there are fine. it would, IMO, be better for him to drink safer amounts more often than to black out at work, despite the fact that he rarely drinks. I think that you deserve better than the way he is acting right now.

My best friend is dealing with a d-bag boyfriend who takes advantage of her and treats her like crap on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis, and she puts up with it. She doesn't understand what's wrong with the situation either.

I really liked what Tammy said - if you had a daughter, would be happy with her having a boyfriend like this?

Hugs and love to you. I pray that you have the strength to make whatever you truly believe is the right decision.

Yorkiekids · 12-31-2009, 12:21 PM

I agree he has a serious drinking problem, and it's not you job to pick him up. He made the mess, so let him lie in it. Believe me my first husband was an alcholic when we were dating, but I was sure I'd straighten him out once we were married. Didn't work, and we landed up divorced because of it.

capt_noonie · 12-31-2009, 04:24 PM

I've seen you post quite a few threads about your frustrations with your bf. I agree with the others, you deserve more respect from him than he is giving you. Personally, I would have just left him there.

Your partner is supposed to be loving and supportive, not give you more grief.

jeanm1963 · 12-31-2009, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeanieK

Good for yhoue.

And also JMO, but if, after 4 years, a guy has not figured out whether or not he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he is just waxsting yiour time.

I hope you doln't think we are ganging up on you. this is just girl talk, and many of us have been with Mr Wrong and tried to make it work. Made excuses for them, overlooked their short comings, decided they were better than being alone, Well if you are the only one trying, then time to move on.

As I always told my daughters, You cannot meet Mr Right while hanging on to Mr Wrong.

Very well said!! This is the exact conversation I had with my daughter , although I wasnt as polite and called him MR Wrong

, !!!

chloeandj · 12-31-2009, 10:33 PM

Next time call his mother, that's her job not yours. When he acts like an irresponsible child, you should not be picking up after him...

JeanieK · 01-01-2010, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chloeandj

Next time call his mother, that's her job not yours. When he acts like an irresponsible child, you should not be picking up after him...

tjdmom · 01-01-2010, 07:36 AM

I agree with alot of the advice you've been given. I grew up with alcoholism and am very familiar with how it can ruin lives. But the real question here is why someone as nice and sweet and beautiful and wonderful as you thinks that all this stuff is acceptable and you are willing to wait for this guy to change and grow up. I hope for your sake he does but I'm afraid that if you don't make some changes yourself, you are going to have a whole lot of heartache ahead of you.

mizzwanned · 01-01-2010, 07:03 PM

Thanks everyone for your advice

Everything is well now, will let you know what happens. i told him he has a problem and is an alcoholic..also his parents now know-they saw him sick the next day and want to help. He did not even want to drink on new years eve..good thing!

JeanieK · 01-02-2010, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mizzwanned

Thanks everyone for your advice

Everything is well now, will let you know what happens. i told him he has a problem and is an alcoholic..also his parents now know-they saw him sick the next day and want to help. He did not even want to drink on new years eve..good thing!

Good, at least now you know to hld him accountable. And if he loves you he will do what he has to do.

Hoping for the best for you.

Hugs

yorkie_mama22 · 01-04-2010, 02:12 PM

I've been with my fiancee for 5 years now, 6 in June. We've been living together for 3 years now since my daughter was born.
We used to party before and hang out with friends. But after I got pregnant with my daughter I gave him the choice to either drop the lifestyle he was living and be a family and MOVE FORWARD or leave me alone so I could do the proper thing and GROW UP!

We are getting married in May and he does not go out drinking ever at all. We go out and have an occasional cocktail but he never is out with his friends any more ever.

If he can't give it up for you then he's not worth it!

12-31-2009, 11:18 AM	#32
jmdt YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Long Island, NY USA Posts: 3,498	Sounds to me like he needs to get another job away from these people and away from alcohol. I would say "adios" to him. You risked yourself driving out in the middle of the night to go "help" him. That's bs. What would your parents say??? Sounds like a big baby to me. Sorry if you were my daughter I would tell you let him go and find someone who deserves you without all the drama. Don't settle because it is comfortable. Loose this looser!!! __________________ Coco, Pebbles, Trixie, and Wally LOVE MY BABIES!!

12-31-2009, 11:50 AM	#33
MeganS Donating YT 7000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 12,016 Blog Entries: 1	I am very sorry that you are dealing with this. I think you need to put yourself first though. Like the others have said, I would not wait around for him to grow up. He is an adult, it's time to get over this partying thing. Drinks here and there are fine. it would, IMO, be better for him to drink safer amounts more often than to black out at work, despite the fact that he rarely drinks. I think that you deserve better than the way he is acting right now. My best friend is dealing with a d-bag boyfriend who takes advantage of her and treats her like crap on a weekly (sometimes daily) basis, and she puts up with it. She doesn't understand what's wrong with the situation either. I really liked what Tammy said - if you had a daughter, would be happy with her having a boyfriend like this? Hugs and love to you. I pray that you have the strength to make whatever you truly believe is the right decision. __________________ Megan "I have my dreams, I have made plans." - The Pirate Queen All Gave Some; Some Gave All

12-31-2009, 12:21 PM	#34
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I agree he has a serious drinking problem, and it's not you job to pick him up. He made the mess, so let him lie in it. Believe me my first husband was an alcholic when we were dating, but I was sure I'd straighten him out once we were married. Didn't work, and we landed up divorced because of it. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

12-31-2009, 04:24 PM	#35
capt_noonie www.yorkierescue.com Donating Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Las Vegas & Orange County Posts: 17,408	I've seen you post quite a few threads about your frustrations with your bf. I agree with the others, you deserve more respect from him than he is giving you. Personally, I would have just left him there. Your partner is supposed to be loving and supportive, not give you more grief. __________________ The T.U.B. Pack! Toto, Uni, & Bindi RIP Lord Scrappington Montgomery McLimpybottom aka El Lenguo the Handicapped Ninja 10-12-12

01-01-2010, 07:03 PM	#40
mizzwanned Donating YT 11K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: new york Posts: 14,007 Blog Entries: 2	Thanks everyone for your advice Everything is well now, will let you know what happens. i told him he has a problem and is an alcoholic..also his parents now know-they saw him sick the next day and want to help. He did not even want to drink on new years eve..good thing! __________________ Primrose, Teddy..RIP, Livie..RIP, And can never forget my duo Sophie and London, Run in Peace <3

12-31-2009, 10:33 PM	#37
chloeandj Tinkerbell, My Little Flutterpup Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Beautiful California! Posts: 6,112	Next time call his mother, that's her job not yours. When he acts like an irresponsible child, you should not be picking up after him...

01-01-2010, 07:36 AM	#39
tjdmom Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: upstate ny Posts: 5,847	I agree with alot of the advice you've been given. I grew up with alcoholism and am very familiar with how it can ruin lives. But the real question here is why someone as nice and sweet and beautiful and wonderful as you thinks that all this stuff is acceptable and you are willing to wait for this guy to change and grow up. I hope for your sake he does but I'm afraid that if you don't make some changes yourself, you are going to have a whole lot of heartache ahead of you.

01-04-2010, 02:12 PM	#42
yorkie_mama22 Currently Suspended! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 2,275	I've been with my fiancee for 5 years now, 6 in June. We've been living together for 3 years now since my daughter was born. We used to party before and hang out with friends. But after I got pregnant with my daughter I gave him the choice to either drop the lifestyle he was living and be a family and MOVE FORWARD or leave me alone so I could do the proper thing and GROW UP! We are getting married in May and he does not go out drinking ever at all. We go out and have an occasional cocktail but he never is out with his friends any more ever. If he can't give it up for you then he's not worth it!