Gotta get this off my chest!!!

[yorkie_mama22]

My MIL bought a power wheel corvette for our daughter about two months ago and she lives about 4 hours away from us so two weeks ago she had someone deliver it to us. We were both thankful and happy about the gift and our daughter was VERY excited aswell! Well she had bought it at a yard sale and it was obviously used. Once it arrived she told us we needed to buy a new battery and charger for it. No problem, my hubby went out and went to every place to find one and NO place had them. So MIL went out in her city and said she found one and had them next day deliver it to us. Well it came and it was the WRONG one! So I get on the net and start searching and it turns out this car is about 12 years old and back in 1998 it was RECALLED! Lots of kids had hurt themselves driving the corvette because it caught on fire or wouldn't stop. Lots of models were recalled. We called the company and they said we could bring it to this shop which is about two hours away from us to have them REWIRE the whole car and then it would be okay. We decided it was too much of a hassle, and all the gas money and extra money MIL was spending on it, we could get a brand new one with a warranty and no issues. She agreed and said she would try to get her money back from the guy.

Well over this past weekend she calls and she bought another part for the car saying this time the new battery and charger would work. The battery and charger she spent over 100$ on and the car itself was 150 she paid. For 250 we can buy a NEW ONE!! We went over this with her and she agreed then all of a sudden shes out trying to find something new for it. Hubby explained to her this car was recalled and we DONT feel comfortable with our daughter in it, what if it caught fire and OUR DAUGHTER WAS HURT!! She got mad and hung up on him. BIL was over there with his girlfriend and when they got home I guess they were saying MIL was CALLING US AS****ES!!

I am so frustrated, how am I or shold I say we the bad ones here? Hubby told her it's not her fault this happen and we're sorry and very thankful for the kind thought of getting this but no thanks.

[AddieLove]

That's so weird. You would think your MIL would understand that the safety of your daughter is first and that it's really not worth fixing it when you can get a new one with a warranty that hasn't been recalled.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Maybe there's some kind of lack in communication?

Your MIL may be angry (not that I see any reason for her to be) but that's still no reason for her to trash talk you guys. If anything, I would think she should be angry at the guy who sold it to her.

I hope this gets resolved quickly and that it doesn't cause any more stress.

[yorkie_mama22]

my MIL is kind of weird like this sometimes. Not too long ago, about a month or so ago she got upset with us again because we wouldn't allow our daughter to go there for a few days up to a week.

My daughter is turning 3 next month. My MIL lives 4 hours away and only sees her a few times a year so my daughter isn't too "close" with her. She acts shy sometimes, shes young still and a big suck for her mommy. My mom and my FIL see her constantly and she is VERY comfortable around them.

My MIL has some health issues with her back and as complained lots of times that she can't drive here due to her health, she needs lots of naps, doesn't have alot of energy and so on.

She got so upset because we said we don't think she could handle her for a long period of time, especially how far it is, what if our daughter felt uncomfortable and wanted to go home, 4 hours is far away! As well as my MIL's boyfriend is disabled, not mentally but he can't walk well and MIL has to care for him as she would for a child, give him his meals, get him his food and so on like that.

Well she got so upset because we said we didn't feel ready for her to make the trip like that yet and she got mad and started saying " oh you let paula's mom (MY MOM) take her all the time and it's not a problem. she hung up on hubby again and didn't talk to us for a few weeks. The worst is she calls FIL up after to talk about us always and he's always in the middle and it's so stressful.

[erickajm]

It seems with personality types like this you have to just pick your battles. With her living 4 hours away.. I guess depending on how often she visits.. I would just let it be. After awhile she probably will be on to something else.

Its too bad she has wasted so much money on something so old when she could have just cut to the chase and got her a new one.

[AddieLove]

Originally Posted by yorkie_mama22

my MIL is kind of weird like this sometimes. Not too long ago, about a month or so ago she got upset with us again because we wouldn't allow our daughter to go there for a few days up to a week.

My daughter is turning 3 next month. My MIL lives 4 hours away and only sees her a few times a year so my daughter isn't too "close" with her. She acts shy sometimes, shes young still and a big suck for her mommy. My mom and my FIL see her constantly and she is VERY comfortable around them.

My MIL has some health issues with her back and as complained lots of times that she can't drive here due to her health, she needs lots of naps, doesn't have alot of energy and so on.

She got so upset because we said we don't think she could handle her for a long period of time, especially how far it is, what if our daughter felt uncomfortable and wanted to go home, 4 hours is far away! As well as my MIL's boyfriend is disabled, not mentally but he can't walk well and MIL has to care for him as she would for a child, give him his meals, get him his food and so on like that.

Well she got so upset because we said we didn't feel ready for her to make the trip like that yet and she got mad and started saying " oh you let paula's mom (MY MOM) take her all the time and it's not a problem. she hung up on hubby again and didn't talk to us for a few weeks. The worst is she calls FIL up after to talk about us always and he's always in the middle and it's so stressful.

I get that she wants to have your daughter for awhile, but if her health issues don't allow her to drive to see you guys, then I think it would be extremely difficult for her to take care of your three-year-old.

If you were with your three-year-old for the visit, then it would be feasible, but of course not everyone can just drop what they're doing and go somewhere hours away for a week.

While I can understand your MIL's wishes, it really is all about what you're the most comfortable with. After all, she is your daughter.

The best scenario I would think would be to have her over so you could keep an eye on everyone. Although, I'm sure that would be very very stressful for you.

Sorry you're having such a difficult time with the MIL, and I hope things get better!

[oopsmyhalofello]

Wow.. your MIL sounds like she would be difficult to deal with, actually sounds a lot like my mother unforunately. The whole kid car thing just doesn't make any sense to me, maybe she really doesn't understand the recall? I don't know.. i'm grasping

[QuickSilver]

It sounds like a little bit of a turf war. Did you two have issues over your husband's attention before your daughter came along?

To be honest, I think I can understand how she acted about the corvette. Not that you should let your daughter in it if it isn't safe! I wonder if she was just really excited about the gift and felt that she was getting rejected along with the gift. She probably doesn't want to admit to herself that she gave her granddaughter something that harmful, esp. if your granddaughter is uncomfortable around her. She went to a lot of trouble to win her affection, and it turned out to be a completely inappropirate gesture, which probably made her feel more foolish and unwelcome.

I'm just guessing, and I'm not really sure how to solve the problem. Is your MIL lonely?

I always believe in positive reinforcement. Reward the positive behavior, extinguish the bad behavior, generally by not responding to it. Catch the animal doing something right.

[yorkie_mama22]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

It sounds like a little bit of a turf war. Did you two have issues over your husband's attention before your daughter came along?

To be honest, I think I can understand how she acted about the corvette. Not that you should let your daughter in it if it isn't safe! I wonder if she was just really excited about the gift and felt that she was getting rejected along with the gift. She probably doesn't want to admit to herself that she gave her granddaughter something that harmful, esp. if your granddaughter is uncomfortable around her. She went to a lot of trouble to win her affection, and it turned out to be a completely inappropirate gesture, which probably made her feel more foolish and unwelcome.

I'm just guessing, and I'm not really sure how to solve the problem. Is your MIL lonely?

I always believe in positive reinforcement. Reward the positive behavior, extinguish the bad behavior, generally by not responding to it. Catch the animal doing something right.

I think she may feel this way, she was excited about the gift just like we were! I think she may not want to admit that it was a "bad" car, I think she may think we may of over exaggerated the recall, but its all on the internet and the company told us " don't put your child in it ".

I believe she is lonely as well. She knows she is welcome here ANY time, we have even told her she could move here we will get a bigger place and take care of her. She lives with this old man and she has to take care of him. She lives in this city by herself and all her family is here.

We don't go and visit that much because hubby can't stand her bf. Her bf is pretty bossy towards MIL and my hubby is the kind of guy who will not just sit and listen, he would want to punch the guy out. Last year we went and visited alot, we even went at least once or twice every two months, and on holidays. When we go, we go for at least three days. But we can't stay any longer as tension starts to build.

We went on vacation with them in April for a week and we kept asking MIL to come hang out with us while her bf was sleeping or sunbathing and she wouldn't do anything with us, once she went for a walk. She knows hubby can't stand the old man and she has even said she would love to leave and come home because she is lonely.

This is why I don't really get involved because I understand where she is coming from, but it seems she likes to pick small fights that are pointless. She knows how my daughter is around her sometimes and she knows how much of a handful she is. Once we left her here with two kids for an hour while she was visiting and she said they were a hanful.

She's more then welcome to come to our place and stay as long as she would like to visit.

They have a smaller place so it gets cramped there with all of us and the BF gets annoyed if I want to bring my dog with me there and after a while you can tell my daughter annoys him as well as us because he starts getting snappy with MIL.

All this still doesn't make it okay to act or say the things she does in my opinion. It's hurtful.

Her and I have never had any issues, previously. We used to get along very well and I would talk to her on the phone allthe time, daily. But sometimes I'd say one thing and she would go and tell her other son or FIL and start problems so I have backed off and I am not as talky talky with her as I used to me.

[yorkie_mama22]

Another thing is a few times we've went she wants to go out and leave our daughter with the old guy at night time. I wouldn't see an issue but he recently had a stroke and I am worried of something happening while we're gone, or if my daughter was there without us and MIL decided to leave him babysitting and something happen. He's not suppose to drive a car and he does sometimes and hes a really bad driver. Just too many issues and we're just too scared to send our baby alone for any length of time. She needs constant supervision and they live on a large farm.