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04-30-2009, 08:26 AM | #1 |
Senior Yorkie Talker | Yorkie Mommy Needs Help! I have a BA in Psychology and have always been the rock for all of my friends. Never in one million years did I ever think I would be sitting here asking for advice. You see, I am a victim of domestic abuse, live with the abuser, was laid off from employment in January, and have had no luck with finding resources for an exit plan here in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I have two furbabies and a son in college who also lives with me. My family is torn apart, and I could find myself in great danger if not careful. I don't have any friends with the ability to house me and my two dogs without conflict. I don't have any housing or employment options either. This man makes sure that all of my unemployment is spent on living expenses, and I basically walk around with no money in my pocket at all times. I have a very impressive resume of skills, but even with posting my information on more than 20 job sites, I haven't had a single response to date. I know there are many in my situation, and my God knows that my heart and prayers are with those very people, but perhaps few are as close to being homeless as me and my furbabies. For the first time in my life, I am scared to death. I've always prided myself on being a strong, independent and self-sufficient woman, but feeding my child's prepaid college fund and raising him on my own from age 1 has exhausted all of my finances. If anyone has any advice, I am more than willing to listen. I am running out of time, options, and most of all....hope. Blessings to all....Lisa, Lilly & Jesse |
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04-30-2009, 08:52 AM | #2 |
YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: TX, USA
Posts: 314
| I don't have advice but wanted to say I hope you find the way and means to get out of this situation soon. Noone deserves to live like you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you. HUGS!!
__________________ ~Tonya~Proud mama to Lulu Belle ; Foxy Roxy ; Mazey |
04-30-2009, 09:31 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Does this man work? IF so, I'd try to get a restraining order... stay living where you are now and get him thrown out and have to at least pay the rent. Is your child his also? He does not help with the bills for his college? Can you apply to jobs in different parts of the country and move your son and yourself? I feel soooo bad for you, this is a terrible situation to be in. I can only think of things like a shelter for battered women or getting HIM out of the house instead of you. Please be careful what you put in a public forum also... there are ways to get websites you've been to off your computer and you could find yourself in even more trouble. Be safe!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz |
04-30-2009, 09:37 AM | #4 |
Slave to My Rug-Rats Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Long Island
Posts: 7,247
| Ahhh...Please keep the faith, you sound like a good person and you deserve a happy and stable life and home. I know FL is going thru a tough time right now - Prayers for you and your son and furbabies |
04-30-2009, 09:43 AM | #5 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 555
| I do not have advice but I can keep you, your son, and your yorkies in my prayers. I hope things work out for you. |
04-30-2009, 09:52 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: ~*~YorkieWorld~*~
Posts: 8,428
| So sorry to hear this, sending prayers to your way maybe a church will be willing to help somehow, a local shelter for domestic violence maybe help you too, or point to a better directions, Hugs to you.
__________________ |
04-30-2009, 10:25 PM | #7 |
Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: FL
Posts: 7,651
| Sorry you are in this position. Definately contact the battered women's shelter near you. If nothing else, you can get some counseling there and ideas to improve your situation. Definately look to churches in your area. Many of the larger churches have pograms for abused family members. Some can even help with temporary living expenses when they verify your situation. Call an abuse hotline, they will have more ideas, I'm sure. Time to reach out. You can always contribute back when you get solid on your feet again. Do not let pride keep you from taking a little help. As far as a job, don't rely on online resumes! You need to get out and present your resume in person. The job market is tough -- they want to see initiative and meet you in person. Get some good walking shoes and start making the rounds of businesses you might be compatible with. If no luck, step outside of your training and look elsewhere. You might have to accept something beneath your qualifications just to get you on firmer ground. There are plenty of college grads working at daycares and retail just to get through the difficult economic times. You need to make an emergency plan NOW. You won't be able to take pets to a shelter, so find a friend or family member that can take them temporarily on a moment's notice. I am not sure if a shelter will be able to house your college age son either. Have him find a friend or family member willing to let him stay on a temporary basis as well. You need to have this in place so if the situation becomes too bad, you can enact your plan. I know a good exit plan will include a job and money. But you need a contingency plan for now too. I think once you have a firm plan, you will feel so much better. There is a horrible feeling to not knowing about tomorrow. But once you have a plan, you get some control back. Most of all, do not allow yourself to be in danger! If you feel it is imminent, just call the police or walk into the police station. Get yourself somewhere safe where you can regroup and get help. I pray you and your son find a safe place to live and your abusive spouse finds help for his sickness.
__________________ FlDebra and her ABCs Annie, Ben, Candy Promoting Healthy Breeding to the AKC Yorkshire Terrier Standard |
05-02-2009, 01:00 PM | #8 |
Senior Yorkie Talker | Thank you, my friends!!!! A big thanks to all that are emotionally with me at this point in my life. I registered with Women in Distress on Friday and will be attending group meetings. I also received a call from an old co-worker stating that there may be an upcoming position that I would be able to fill nicely. There is so much power in prayer, and I thank God for my YT family and all the prayers I've received thus far. I do need a plan, but sometimes when life deals you an exorbitant amount of problems, you haven't the ability to see the clear path ahead of you. I am scared...I won't lie. Right now, my concern is getting my life in order so that I can rid myself of this person for good, find another home for my son and my furbabies, and live happily ever after. One big lesson in domestic abuse is that often we fail to even identify it. The second is finding the ability to overcome the insecurities in order to feel confident that you can make positive change in your own life. I continue to have setbacks, but as of now, I know what I need to do and will do it no matter what. Last edited by GoodLifeLilly; 05-02-2009 at 01:01 PM. Reason: Typo |
05-02-2009, 01:13 PM | #9 | |
Senior Yorkie Talker | Quote:
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05-05-2009, 09:12 AM | #10 |
Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY
Posts: 10,455
| i will be praying for you
__________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ... |
05-05-2009, 09:23 AM | #11 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Weymouth, Ma
Posts: 2,584
| My mother lives in Coconut Creek very close to you, last time I was there we went to a mobile home park and they were very very affordable in that are... they werent to bad either... my Aunt just bought hers for 5000 since the owner had passed away and her children were located up North... Im sooo very sorry to hear of your situation and hope that you find a way out of there. Being a single mom I really hope you will be okay... Ill keep you and your son and furbabies in my prayers |
05-05-2009, 10:39 AM | #12 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: newyork
Posts: 115
| i hope you find a soluction to your problems and get that job so you can leave that losser sometimes its better to be by your self with kids than being misserable .if the town where you at is expensive move some where where you can afford with your son there places in fl that are not that expensive you know that believe me you dont have to live like that think about your son and your self how happy you will be with out the sinficate other good luck girl i am praying for you and your son and your fur babyies |
05-05-2009, 11:13 AM | #13 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 10,534
| Quote:
You are a smart and strong woman and you will make it through this, I know that you know that! Keep moving forward with each day and never go backwards... thats the only way to gain yourself back!
__________________ “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz | |
05-05-2009, 02:02 PM | #14 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | Glad you are working on a plan. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
05-05-2009, 04:17 PM | #15 |
Senior Yorkie Talker | Thank you for your love and concern, Gina & Lexi. I will keep you updated as things progress. I got a miraculous call today and have an interview on Friday. I know it's because all of my YT friends are praying for me. There is so much power in prayer in numbers. I never realized just how much. Love and blessings...Lisa, Lilly & Jesse |
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