I need my YT family cuz mine has made me mad and upset!!

[mizzwanned]

I'm sorry It's not fair, just because you make slightly more money than her, they think they can just not help you out but go thru all extremes for your sister I'm the youngest too, my brother is 4 yrs older and somehow i also feel like my mom and grandma spend more on him. He went away to college, just upstate, about an hr away and dropped out in his 2nd yr cause he was engaged to a girl. My grandma bought him a car, my mom helped a lot with the planning of the wedding, and paid for their honeymoon cruise, they never got married though. Then when he moved out my mom helped pay for him condo, oh and when he was in college it was a private school that was a lot of money, much more than mine is. And now my mom is telling me she is tired of paying for my school, when i have 2 more yrs left. Mine is so much cheaper compared to how my brother's was, i dont yet have a car...theres just a lot thats not fair I know just how you feel..

[tatertot15]

I feel a little better today. I still havent called my mom back....I told her I would call her back yesterday at like 2:45. I just couldnt handle talking to her again after what she said. I'll probably call her back today, I dont have a choice but to talk to her because we are in the middle of planning my sister's baby shower. I wish I hadnt volunteered for it but I felt I needed to since it was my sister. I was thinking about buying a glider w/ ottoman for her but I think I changed my mind....I'm just going to pick up a few extra things and do that, I dont need to break myself like my mom is just so she'll have what she wants. If she wants it that bad she'll buy it herself. It's not like I can afford to go all out I was just going to since it was my sister. I've probably already spent around $100 on her.

I think my biggest worry is once I have kids and they are a little bit older we will be opening christmas presents with the whole family and my kids will only get a few and her kids will get a bunch....I dont want my kids to look at me and ask why they get more....it's heartbreaking for them....trust me, thats how it was with my dad's parents....they always treated us different than the rest of the grandkids....before my sisters wedding I hadn't seen my grandma in probably 8-10 years....my grandpa didnt show up, both showed up to my wedding and that's the only time I've seen them or heard from them. My parents kept us away from them because of how they were....and I dont blame them but the worst part is they could be alot like them and they just dont know it yet. Billy's family treats me like gold. Billy is the only one that can give his mom and dad a grandkid. Billy's half brother is handicap. But even though Billy's brother is handicap, his mom still does alot for Billy. She tries to keep things as equal as possible. Billy's dad lives in North Carolina so we dont get to see him much....he wasnt a very good dad while he was growing up but he is trying to make up for that now and be a father to Billy and I think its great.

I just dont understand how parents can single out one kid and treat them different. I am glad I have my husband becuase without him I dont think I could make it through this as well as I am. And you all are making it easier also....It feels good to be able to write all this and not worry about anything.

[CollegeCutieUSF]

I'm just now seeing this thread, but I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. I don't have any sibling, so I've never really been in your shoes, but I can definately understand what you're feeling. I have many friends with siblings and sadly, their parents always treat them differently.. whether it be spending more money on one than the other, giving one more attention, or repremanding one and not the other (eventhough they both did the same thing). It sucks, but sometimes parents don't even realize that they are treating siblings differently.

My advice to you is to sit down with your mom and honestly tell her how you feel. Maybe if you point out to her the things she has said to you to make you feel this way, then she can maybe work on how she treats both you and your sister.

Oh, also let me mention, that it's probably best to talk with her sooner rather than later, as like you said, she could go on with this and end up treating your children differently than your sister's children. For example, one of my relatives made a will and is leaving his entire business to only one of his 3 daughters. He's leaving all of them more or less equal sums of money, BUT... the sister that is getting the business is also basically getting the house too. And it's all because of circumstance... she is divorced and the other two sisters are doing well for themselves for the time being, are married to wonderful hard working men, and live in beautiful homes... but that's where they are at the moment... that doesn't mean that they will still be that way in 1 day. But I guess sometimes parent's just don't realize that.

[tatertot15]

So I did miss that big job opportunity. And that is only making me feel worse. I could have done something even better with my life....but no, I'm sitting at this stupid desk for a while longer and I get to be the office maid a little longer. I'm the Admin Assistant....which basically means maid/slave to all. I've been in this position for 2 years now and I cant take much more. I finally had a chance to get out of it and I missed it. I guess it wasnt meant to be.

I still havent called my mom back yet....i'll probably wait till this afternoon. I'm still tired and grumpy from the morning so its probably best I wait. For right now i'm going to act as if nothing is wrong....at least until the baby shower is over....then i'm taking my big break for sure. I need positive things in my life right now and she is not very positive at all. What makes me the most mad is how my sister is only pregnant right now because she wanted to make sure I didnt have a baby first....she has to be the first to do everything and if she isnt she has to do better than what i've done....I think everything is backwards with my family....the younger sibling is supposed to look up to the older not the other way around....thats how its always been with us....I played sports the whole time growing up and was extremely good until I blew my shoulder out playing softball then blew my knee in basketball, well my sister sucked at sports....but she played softball....she has what I call a noodle arm, which is basically the same as "you throw like a girl" but worse lol. Well then there was Archery....my dad has always been a hunter and I have always wanted to go until my sister bought a bow and started shooting....and she was actually good so I didnt pick it up so my sister could have something just she was good at....well my sister I guess got sick of it after a while and just quit shooting (she never went hunting) so I picked it up and I started going hunting....and she was mad that I was good at it....my dad kept saying how I should shoot competition. Well I never did....I just enjoy hunting. I dont know why my sister is always jealous of me since she still gets all the attention....my dad is the only one that has been supportive but because my mom is so negative its hard for him to do anything because he cant go against her. In a way I cant wait for hunting season to start because thats when I get to be more with my dad and hear more positive....although sometimes he can act just like my mom....it still better. Oh and my husband is alot like my dad....excluding the negative part....he is nothing but supportive to me.

Sorry I'm making this like my personal diary but it feels so much better when I get it all out. Thanks for putting up with me.

[ellie81]

I'm so sorry about that. I think parents always want to give a lot to their kids, but sometimes they can and then the situation changes and they can't give to the other kid, it's a mess. I guess in their mind they want to do their best, but they are still human and they mess up a lot. I paid for my wedding because my parents couln't afford it. Some siblings depend more on the help of their parents and they always ask for more... family, I know, just vent...

[mommaofmia]

Move Away...... Absence makes the heart grow fonder......

[tatertot15]

I wish I could move away....If it wasnt for my husband getting ready to be in a great job I would....He is going to work at the prison, this is like his dream job. It may sound funny to some of you but its what he wants to do lol so I support him, at least he knows what he wants. I also know I wouldnt get paid anywhere else what I get paid here. I'm being lazy and still haven't called my mom. I'm kinda dreading it.

[mommaofmia]

Wait and let her call you...

[dinolover]

I have lived in pretty much the same situation as you most of my life. I understand that sometimes you just ask yourself "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Maybe If I could be like him/her they would like me better" I grew up with my brother who had anger issues. He pretty much got everything he ever wanted because my parents were afraid of him. So many things have been broken at home throughout my life that I don't even know where to start. We lived a life of not talking about certain things that would make him angry. It was always all about him. I swear he is a genius he scored a 1510 on his SAT's yet he doesn't have the common sense that we all do. He could never hold job or do anything. He is dependent on my parents for everything. I on the other hand was always the independent one. They do everything for him, they get him a brand new car, he spends as much of my parents money as he wants and they don't tell him anything. I ask for any little thing they complain and complain. They spent over $20,000 in psychologist bills that did nothing for him and they still complain about how they paid $800 for my dog. If he got mad it was always my fault some how even if I wasn't home. I have so much inside me that I can write a book one day, but you know these experiences have only made me a stronger person. You will realize that too. I know it seems unfair but your sister will never have the one thing you have independence.

One time I was complaining to a lady I used to take care of about this and she told me something that in a way makes sense, she told me "Your parents don't help you because they know that you would be fine without their help, but they know that you brother needs their help, it is not that they love you less it's just that they know that they need to help your brother in order to bring up his potential."

It is very hard, and I have cried a lot in my life because of this, but all we can really do is learn from it and become stronger from it.

[tatertot15]

Ok so my mom did end up calling me....and she was crying. Ever since my Grandma died she has been dealing with her estate. She has two brothers, one older and one younger. Well they have been trying to sell the house, and it was almost impossible. Its been on the market since December and it litterally just sold. and we had to sell it for $89,900. This house is worth much more than that....it has been almost fully renovated. Well my mom's younger brother has been nothing but rude to my mom since this has started, he's mad that she has control of the inheritance. She gave everyone a good lump sum in the begining but needed to hold onto the rest to make sure they could pay the mortgage on the house until it sold, and he doesnt get that....he thinks he should just get all his money and not worry about anything else....well I guess he had his boat out on the river last weekend and he says it almost sank, well he is demanding that she give him $5000 so he can get it fixed. Well the buyer on the house hasnt closed yet so she cant take any money out of the account. He is wanting her to meet with his lawyer and all the siblings so he can fight it I guess....he's an idiot. and he doesnt know the house is sold yet....well with the way he is acting we are scared once he finds out the house has been sold and he didnt get to buy it for what they owe on it he is going to do something to my mom. He wanted to buy it and not give my mom and her other brother anything for the house so if they did that they would be losing out on money once again. So my mom's oldest brother just retired as a detective....so he is making my mom file a report stating all that he has been doing to my mom. She just changed her cell number so he cant text her or call her on it anymore. Even though he can call the house number. then right after I hear all this my mom starts complaining about my sister....not even 10 minutes after I get off the phone with her my sister calls and starts complaining about my mom....this goes back and forth all day long. so I guess i'm going over to my mom's friday to help keep arguing to a minimum with my sister and mom....why do they always stick me in the middle. I hate this....but its like if I dont get in it they are mad at me....and I cant tell one what the other is saying becuase in the long run they'll tell each other what I said so I cant trust either of them!! AHH i'm losing my mind and I've probably confused all of you. but that's how confusing all this is when your in the middle of it. Ok i'm done for right now....I didnt even write half of what is going on....thats just a small small portion.