I need some advice please

[4doggiemama]

I was just thinking about you today and wondering how you were doing. Sounds as if you are ready to make some changes in your life----to move on. You have to do what is best for you. Support from here for whatever you choose.

[YorkichonBella]

Hon, if you are that miserably there, then if you think you can make it financially with the new apt, it could be for the best. Unfortunately, finances play a major role in our decisions. It does sound as though there are alot of amenities for you & your son, meet new people, close to your job, not feel so alone in an empty house in the country, especially if you hate yardwork! lol. YT friends are here to give you pros/cons. We don't know all the details & what you're feeling inside. It does sound appealing for a fresh start! I'd give the same advice to my daughter. You're doing the right thing by talking this out!

[cariblonde]

as far as gas goes I wouldnt be breaking even exactly... maybe saving 150.00 a month n gas... Im getting a great deal, the complex has renovated half the apartments and half are the same so I chose the unrenovated( its not run down in the least bit) a 2 bedroom 2 bath for 619.00 a month including the pet fee and trash pick up and it has a lot of great amenities I know it sounds crazy to go from almost no rent to rent but I have literally lived in this house my entire life and it has never felt like my personal space.. on the other hand the security I have living here is very nice,If something happens and I lose my job or whatever i know my mom isnt going to kick me out..I will only be paying an additional 150.00-200.00 a month more when I take into consideration gas, lights will me much cheaper, errrrr this is so hard for me.. btw thanks everyone for the support it means a lot to me

[spr377]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

I think it's so rare to have an almost free place to live - *what* a luxury. Especially given the fact that you are breaking out on your own. I completely feel for you in terms of the memories the place has for you. But, if it were me - I'd stay there, I'd take a couple months worth of rent - and re-paint, buy some fresh stuff - re-do the bedroom. Somehow, make it *just* your own. And, save all that rent money down the road.

Took the words out of my mouth!

[YorkieChick1]

Originally Posted by TyraandMrJ

With the extra job or better paying job, I'd go buy new furntuire,paint and drapes and change bedrooms. If there's a second bedroom. grab that one and make it yours. and take the master bedroom and make it a office/sewing room. In the long run,my clothes and stuff and all out everything goes, I'd stay where I was at. and just go nuts and redo the house. LOL apartment after living in a house can be rough. tyty

[cariblonde]

I just heard back from them, I was approved... I have to go today and put down the securuty deposit.....I am so undecided

[celstu1]

Keep your house. Take your extra money and 'freshen it up'... paint your bedroom, get a new bedroom set, get all new linens, pillows, blankets, etc...
Do this in the living room/tv room too, move the furniture around, paint the walls, get some new 'things' for YOU. Make your house more "YOURS' and less 'OURS' and you will see that will make a major difference in your attitude about coming home to the house you shared with your ex, to coming home to YOUR house! watch!

[autumn star]

Personally, I would stay put! With the economy being the way it is I think that would be the best decision. You are limited to what you can do since it is your moms but get a new bed and a nice feminine comforter set and fresh linens. You can freshen it up w/out changing the structure of your moms place!
I think you will be glad you stayed! JMO!

[cariblonde]

Well everyone thanks for your input, I know some of you are gong to think Im crazy but I decided to move.. I went today and put down the security deposit so I officially move in June 24th!!

I hope you all will be happy for me dispite most of your opinions to stay put. I called my mom this morning and got her advice and she said in her opinion it would be the best thing for me.. She said I have always been a city girl at heart trapped in the country and she knew I was never happy here even before my ex and I split up.. She said if I dont like it or something happens I can always sub let it and I will always have a place to live if I ever want to come back....

I feel so many things right now: Terrified for obvious reasons, Hopeful for my future, a little bittersweet sadness this is the place i grew up, but most of all I feel excitement to fianlly have my own personal space and hope for the future! thank you all for your wonderful advice

[Tiggerwit]

Crude I didn't see this until now. I'm assuming that the house is in your mom's name. What are here thoughts on it? If you leave then she is forced to either sell it or find a renter, what a hassle in my opinion. I know it would be hard at first to stay but with a little bit of paint, rearranging, new bed, you'd be surprised at how fast the new memories would replace the old ones. Having no house payment would be a blessing with the way the economy is today.

I had a house and moved to an apartment when I got divorced. Totally regretted it. Taking my pups out all the time wears on me, especially when it's piss pouring rain and snowing or I don't feel well. I'd give anything to have my house back. I was forced to sell though because he'd let it go into foreclosure, turns out he used the money to pay off his truck (at least that's what I suspect). I also hated having to get rid of most my stuff because you can't squeeze a 1500 sq ft split level into a 1000 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment.

I know the emotions you are going through, trust me. But my vote is that if at all possible stay in the house. I know you need to do what makes you most comfortable though. I'm sending you good vibes and well wishes.

Take care, ah just saw that you already talked to your mom. I'd come help you move hun if you were closer.

Signed country girl stuck in the city. LOL

[Breny]

I wouldn't leave!!! You know what? Just redecorate Change EVERYTHING if you have to but girl you have it made there! Plus its YOUR family's. don't let him ruin it for you. STAY! Money is so tight out there. maybe take the money you were going to spend and make the changes to your house. I don't think you'd regret it. Good luck in what you decide!

Originally Posted by cariblonde

I may be moving into an apartment in 2 weeks.. Applied today and paid 50.00 application fee I am movng to get out of the house my husband and I lived in our entire marriage plus I will be a lot closer to work, here is the problem i got this new job making more money but I will be paying rent for the first time so the extra money will be going to rent.. I currently pay next to nothing b/c the house we lived in belongs to my mom (who lives elsewhere) and is paid for...Everyone is telling me Im making a mistake. They are all like why move from a house with a yard to an apartment where you will be paying double what your used to.. What do you guys think, I want a fresh start and its hard on me to still live here and sleep in the same bed/bedroom and i know moving will give me the fresh start I need

[Breny]

Oops! Sorry, see what I get for not reading the thread before I post!

Well congrats on your new place!!!! I hope all works out for you!!!!!

[MsFamousHepburn]

I'm glad you are getting a fresh start. Rent is so expensive these days, but I think you should do what makes you feel best! You deserve to be as happy as possible.

[Sandysbabies]

I have been there, done that. I think everyone is giving you great advice. Stay put. After being in a house, if you have never lived in an apartment I think you are going to wish you had stayed in the house down the road. Completely redecorating is going to help. Moving is not going to help with the hurt from the divorce. Time is the healer. As far as the yard, hire someone with some of that rent money you would be spending and get it done. Your little furbaby will be happier too, I bet. Good luck at what you decide. Divorce is hard to go through no matter where you are or what your circumstances. There will be a brighter future. If we could only see down the road. Everything is going to be okay and you will be happy again.

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by cariblonde

Well everyone thanks for your input, I know some of you are gong to think Im crazy but I decided to move.. I went today and put down the security deposit so I officially move in June 24th!!

I hope you all will be happy for me dispite most of your opinions to stay put. I called my mom this morning and got her advice and she said in her opinion it would be the best thing for me.. She said I have always been a city girl at heart trapped in the country and she knew I was never happy here even before my ex and I split up.. She said if I dont like it or something happens I can always sub let it and I will always have a place to live if I ever want to come back....

I feel so many things right now: Terrified for obvious reasons, Hopeful for my future, a little bittersweet sadness this is the place i grew up, but most of all I feel excitement to fianlly have my own personal space and hope for the future! thank you all for your wonderful advice

Well I gave advice that I thought you should stay, but Im glad you did what your heart told you to do. In the end, its not money that really matters and if you can afford it then you should do whatever you can to make yourself happy. In a way this is going to be a HUGE growing up experience for you! You know how to be a wife and mother, and a successful woman, and now you are going to learn independance and financial responsibility more than you already do! Good for you!!! (((HUGS))) and BEST of LUCK in your new home!