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07-24-2005, 09:36 AM | #1 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Michigan
Posts: 191
| The 10 First Place Winners Of The International Pun Contest > >THE 10 FIRST PLACE WINNERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL PUN CONTEST > > No groaning allowed. > > Remember, you were warned... > >1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess >looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per >passenger." > >2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says >"Dam!" > >3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the >craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have >your kayak and heat it too. > >4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other >says,"Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive." > >5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root >canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. > > 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in >the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an >hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them todisperse. "But >why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand >chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." > >7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a >family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; >they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his >birth mother. Upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she >wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're >twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." > >8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a >small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from >the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was >unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He >went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival >florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town >to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their >store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they >did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. > >9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which >produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very >little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered from >bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by >halitosis. > >10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his >friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. >No pun in ten did. > It's harder to frown when your smiling.... Rosie |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-24-2005, 09:46 AM | #2 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 1,562
| 8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. So funny! Sylvia |
07-25-2005, 06:04 AM | #3 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NJ
Posts: 4,021
| Very cute. Puns are my favorite type of humor. Thanks
__________________ Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you Bandit, you are always in my heart Proud Member SSLS |
07-25-2005, 08:12 AM | #4 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Lubbock, TX
Posts: 540
| These are really cute. Can't wait to show them to hubby when he gets home.
__________________ Tara |
07-25-2005, 08:33 AM | #5 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 544
| Gotta love puns... Thanks for the laugh! |
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