>
>THE 10 FIRST PLACE WINNERS OF THE INTERNATIONAL PUN CONTEST
>
> No groaning allowed.
>
> Remember, you were warned...
>
>1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
>looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
>passenger."
>
>2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says
>"Dam!"
>
>3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
>craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
>your kayak and heat it too.
>
>4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other
>says,"Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
>
>5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
>canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
>
> 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
>the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
>hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them todisperse. "But
>why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
>chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
>
>7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
>family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
>they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his
>birth mother. Upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she
>wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
>twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
>
>8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
>small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
>the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
>unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He
>went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So the rival
>florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town
>to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their
>store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they
>did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
>
>9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
>produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very
>little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered from
>bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by
>halitosis.
>
>10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his
>friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
>No pun in ten did.
>
It's harder to frown when your smiling....
Rosie
