What's going on?

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by bchgirl

It'll come full circle....I don't read the wedding pages anymore, but I check out the divorce ads. LOL

LOLOL There's a lot of those!

[Kathryn_V]

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

I'm at the opposite, yet similar end of the spectrum. I got married at 20 and had my daughter at 21. Now after almost 15 years of marriage my daughter is old enough to have some independence but most of my friends still have little ones. I get so excited when I meet someone with either no children or grown children.

Nikki... I'm with you girl! I was married at 20... had Kate at 20, Garrett at 22 and my hubby is older and had his son long before I had my two so now we have a 16, 12 and 10 year old and I'm 33! I'll be 40 when my youngest is 18! I'll be young enough to see my children graduate and be married and god willing I'll get to ENJOY my grand children!



I feel very strongly, boy I hope not to offend... but I am really passionate on this one, about the babies at 40+ subject. I'm really against it. Starting with the obvious health risks to both mother and child, its a bad idea with the super high risks of birth defects. But looking at the risks of raising the child... the chance that an older parent could fall ill or expire before the child finishes collage is huge! I think its just selfish and unfair to the child... And not to be around for the grand children is a sad state of affairs as well... I grew up with NO grand fathers and that was weird... most of my friends had them and I really felt like I missed out.

I'm NOT saying that people should be having babies at 20!!! LOL I started a bit young! LOL It worked out, but thats not always the case, But... there is a "window" where it is most advantagous to bring a child into the world and if we are smart and plan our families, unlike I did and most of our friends aren't doing, LOL you can really do it up right!

I say those of you who are looking around and feeling left out, take the oppertunity to evaluate the situation and look at how right your doing!!! But don't wait till your 40! LOL

[celstu1]

Hey I am 31, not married, no kids. I have some friends who are married with kids, some who are divorced with no kids, some who are married with no kids, some who are single with kids, its a crazy mix! I am 31 and do not feel ready to be a mom... I dont know if I'll ever be a mom at this point... thats ok though! I do know the anxiety of watching everyone around you get married, have kids, etc... its frustrating at times. Ive been there! My 2 best friends just bought houses recently. Both of them close in the next month. Im happy for them, one just got married 5 months ago, has a 4 year old boy and the other is engaged! I own my 2nd house already so I dont feel jealous of them, although a husband of my very own might one day be nice

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by Kathryn_V

Nikki... I'm with you girl! I was married at 20... had Kate at 20, Garrett at 22 and my hubby is older and had his son long before I had my two so now we have a 16, 12 and 10 year old and I'm 33! I'll be 40 when my youngest is 18! I'll be young enough to see my children graduate and be married and god willing I'll get to ENJOY my grand children!



I feel very strongly, boy I hope not to offend... but I am really passionate on this one, about the babies at 40+ subject. I'm really against it. Starting with the obvious health risks to both mother and child, its a bad idea with the super high risks of birth defects. But looking at the risks of raising the child... the chance that an older parent could fall ill or expire before the child finishes collage is huge! I think its just selfish and unfair to the child... And not to be around for the grand children is a sad state of affairs as well... I grew up with NO grand fathers and that was weird... most of my friends had them and I really felt like I missed out.

I'm NOT saying that people should be having babies at 20!!! LOL I started a bit young! LOL It worked out, but thats not always the case, But... there is a "window" where it is most advantagous to bring a child into the world and if we are smart and plan our families, unlike I did and most of our friends aren't doing, LOL you can really do it up right!

I say those of you who are looking around and feeling left out, take the oppertunity to evaluate the situation and look at how right your doing!!! But don't wait till your 40! LOL

Ok you did not offend me, but thats a pretty closed minded stance/opinion! People are living longer these days, things are just different now. I am 31 with no plans of having children anytime soon. I did TRY to plan it... I had a BF/Fiance for 10 years, it didnt work out... sometimes when you try to plan things they just go completely off and its not your fault and you find yourself starting over much older than you EVER expected to be! ya know?

[Kathryn_V]

I totally know that life gets complicated and gets away from ya... Things don't always turn out as planned... I have a great friend who ended up in that boat and because of that decided to not have kids because she thought it wouldn't be fair to the child she would have had... and I agree, she is childless, but really, must EVERY person contribute to the population?? Some people have none some have their share and then some... I had two and then had my tubes tied... tied at 22! Yep, that was a hard sell to my Dr. But I put it to him this way... unless he wanted to put my third through college, I was done having children. I also don't think you should have more than you can afford... Close minded??? I don't think so, just smart in my book...

If I knew then what I know now, I NEVER would have had children at all! Yep... I said it! And Every one in my family knows it! My daughter who just finished studying genes knows it too! She agrees with me!

My father is mentally ill, my mother suffers from serious depression, my fathers illness is hereditary. I myself suffer from Bipolar disorder, adding all of this up, I should NEVER have had children!!! I however was unaware of the severity of my fathers condition nor had I been diagnosed myself. (hence the arguement for not rushing into making babies when your young and uneducated like I was! ) Had I waited a couple of years, I would not have known these things and may have chosen not to have had children. Nobody can say for sure.

My daughter says now that she won't risk it, she's pretty young now.. but I hope she keeps that ideal cause I agree that she shouldn't, I'd rather see her adopt. Just like breeding a defect in dogs... people should not continue to breed defects and illness just cause they want BABIES! My hubby and I wanted a child together SOOOOOOOO bad, but with MY family history, there is NO WAY I would risk having another child... the mental illness showed up in my son in a HUGE WAY. for that I blame myself! And it should stop! Anytime a person knowingly takes a "risk" in creating a life... its not right! Call me narrow minded, but its just not right in my book.

[Baby Madeleine]

I know how you feel. I felt the same way until recently when I got engaged

It's no big deal when you aren't interested in marriage or kids, but when that is what you want it's hard to watch everyone around you have the experiences.

[missj2007]

Originally Posted by Baby Madeleine

I know how you feel. I felt the same way until recently when I got engaged

It's no big deal when you aren't interested in marriage or kids, but when that is what you want it's hard to watch everyone around you have the experiences.

I agree . Now with the age issue my aunts on my father's side waited until they were 40 and up to have their kids because they were into adavancing their careers and are doing quite well, on my mom's side my aunts had their children young and were married young. My grandmother believes every woman should have at least one child. I don't believe it because children are not for everyone and a person will come to know this on their own not by someone telling them if they should or shouldn't. With genetics well we all have things that come up in our family down the ine or whatever. I still want to have kids even though my family is ridden with diabetes and high blood pressure, not because I want to pass on bad genes but because I want there to be future smart and animal lover people like me in this world when I am long gone lol

[celstu1]

Katherine, I hear what you are saying, and I somewhat agree, but like missJ said also, sometimes the good qualities that we pass on outweigh the bad! I may or may not ever have a child, Im not sure if I want one! To tell ya the truth Im comfortable with my life as it is, come and go as I please, do what I want, take vacations, spend my money as I want, etc... Kids are great too for those that want them! I love my friends kids! Noone in my family has kids, we ALL come from divorced parents and I think we all have 'issues' stemming from that, committment issues, fear of divorce and having kids to raise on our own, etc... I do have a friend who feels that her gene pool is not quality enough to have her own children. I respect that! Also its much easier said than done, I mean you DID have kids, and who is to say that you know for CERTAIN that you would not have had any had you known what you know now. You can SAY it, but you don't know bc it didnt work that way!

[Kathryn_V]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Katherine, I hear what you are saying, and I somewhat agree, but like missJ said also, sometimes the good qualities that we pass on outweigh the bad! I may or may not ever have a child, Im not sure if I want one! To tell ya the truth Im comfortable with my life as it is, come and go as I please, do what I want, take vacations, spend my money as I want, etc... Kids are great too for those that want them! I love my friends kids! Noone in my family has kids, we ALL come from divorced parents and I think we all have 'issues' stemming from that, committment issues, fear of divorce and having kids to raise on our own, etc... I do have a friend who feels that her gene pool is not quality enough to have her own children. I respect that! Also its much easier said than done, I mean you DID have kids, and who is to say that you know for CERTAIN that you would not have had any had you known what you know now. You can SAY it, but you don't know bc it didnt work that way!

For sure... who knows what I "would" have done.. I would like to think that had I waited that I would have chosen not to reproduce.. but seeing that I didn't.... I did bring two amazing children into the world, one affected by my own medical history as well as that of my family.

Hindsight is 20/20 I just wish they would have taught a section on family history in my high school health class so I could learned the importance of my medical past and how it could affect my future and that of my possible children... I could have prevented the life that my son is going to have to deal with... It was irresponsable for me to have had children with my history, I just was uneducated and didn't know it... I wish I had... and I really feel that anyone who knowingly takes that risk... well I don't even need to say it... I live with the guilt of doing it unintentionally, I can't even fathom the guilt one would live with having known the risk and having done it anyway.

[Monday]

I know this will sound as if I am boasting (but hey, I really am)!

I must be the luckiest girl on the Earth. I have the best daughter in the world.
A total "A" student in college and now all "A"s in grad school.
She is going to be a teacher and I am so proud of her.
Plus she is stunningly beautiful.

Blue eyes, strawberry blond hair, 5'5" tall and she has only gained 100 lbs since she was born.
She is going to be the "hot" teacher.

I was not worried about my gene pool at all. My parents were above average professionals as were my in-laws.
There were brains and beauty (and only because someone else mentioned it ... mental stability) on both sides.

In fact, judging from my nieces, I knew I was going to have great kids.
It was just unfortunate that my husband died in a car accident before we could have more children.

And girls, 30 is not too late to have children if you meet the one you love.

I hope my post did not offend anyone.
And I hope it is encouraging to those in their late 20s.
Live your life and do what you want to and like to (travel, education, life in general) and then have your children.

You will bring so much more to them when you yourself have experienced life.

As a teacher myself, I have had girls who got pregnant and were not married.
More than one girl came to visit me when she was 15 and pregnant. 10 years later I had their kids in my class.
That has happened 4-5 times in my career.

[Kathryn_V]

You have every reason in the world to boast! Proud Momma you! My Daughter is heading in that direction! I pray she ends up in your daughters shoes someday! I wish I had your family history though LOL

I'd yell it out from evey mountian top, you did a good job raising that girl! My hats off to you!

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Kathryn_V

Nikki... I'm with you girl! I was married at 20... had Kate at 20, Garrett at 22 and my hubby is older and had his son long before I had my two so now we have a 16, 12 and 10 year old and I'm 33! I'll be 40 when my youngest is 18! I'll be young enough to see my children graduate and be married and god willing I'll get to ENJOY my grand children!



I feel very strongly, boy I hope not to offend... but I am really passionate on this one, about the babies at 40+ subject. I'm really against it. Starting with the obvious health risks to both mother and child, its a bad idea with the super high risks of birth defects. But looking at the risks of raising the child... the chance that an older parent could fall ill or expire before the child finishes collage is huge! I think its just selfish and unfair to the child... And not to be around for the grand children is a sad state of affairs as well... I grew up with NO grand fathers and that was weird... most of my friends had them and I really felt like I missed out.

I'm NOT saying that people should be having babies at 20!!! LOL I started a bit young! LOL It worked out, but thats not always the case, But... there is a "window" where it is most advantagous to bring a child into the world and if we are smart and plan our families, unlike I did and most of our friends aren't doing, LOL you can really do it up right!

I say those of you who are looking around and feeling left out, take the oppertunity to evaluate the situation and look at how right your doing!!! But don't wait till your 40! LOL

I agree, i am taking child development and don't think women should wait too long to have kids or it can be unhealthy for mama and baby. But now with the freezing the eggs, i guess all can be done lol But it's expensive i heard. But still, look at Jennifer Aniston, she waited way too long, Brad wanted kids and he ended up leaving her cause she didn't. And now she is like 40 and single still. I feel like life w/o kids would be so empty. i dunno. But i do think it is up to the woman when she feels she is ready. So w.e. age that is to them so be it

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by celstu1

Hey I am 31, not married, no kids. I have some friends who are married with kids, some who are divorced with no kids, some who are married with no kids, some who are single with kids, its a crazy mix! I am 31 and do not feel ready to be a mom... I dont know if I'll ever be a mom at this point... thats ok though! I do know the anxiety of watching everyone around you get married, have kids, etc... its frustrating at times. Ive been there! My 2 best friends just bought houses recently. Both of them close in the next month. Im happy for them, one just got married 5 months ago, has a 4 year old boy and the other is engaged! I own my 2nd house already so I dont feel jealous of them, although a husband of my very own might one day be nice

That's great! I wish i owned 2 houses!! lol I don't even have my first yet And girl you are young

[Monday]

Originally Posted by Kathryn_V

You have every reason in the world to boast! Proud Momma you! My Daughter is heading in that direction! I pray she ends up in your daughters shoes someday! I wish I had your family history though LOL

I'd yell it out from evey mountian top, you did a good job raising that girl! My hats off to you!

Katherine, thank you so much! I am sure your daughter is on the right track. You are giving her a great life and many opportunities.

I am proud of my daughter, but I rarely post about her. I do like to brag about my doggies though, even though they do not carry my genes.

[mizzwanned]

Originally Posted by Baby Madeleine

I know how you feel. I felt the same way until recently when I got engaged

It's no big deal when you aren't interested in marriage or kids, but when that is what you want it's hard to watch everyone around you have the experiences.

Yea i understand that. Congrats on the engagement!