It is NOT a good situation IF you really love your dogs ...
and be real, a leopard does not change its spots ...

I do not think you really want opinions ... as you said, you only want to know if people have been in your situation...

you simply should have taken a plebiscite vote then ...:2omg:

you are a grown-up, make a decision, but please be fair to the dogs ...
I agree with YorkieShadow

Okay so Ill do it your way, But it still ends up meaning the same thing and thats what you dont like.


Answer No I have never been in your shoes. why? because I would not be with anyone who was not a animal lover as I am.

Its still not what you are wanting to hear.

I haven't always been a dog person either and when Kevin and I met I didn't have my dogs and had no desire to get one. I didn't get them until 3 years after we met so, it wasn't that I had dogs and met Kevin and knew he didn't like them and dated anyway.

no, you did not make that very clear ... I was in your situation and I made a choice.
That is what you need to do.
Not to be devious and manipulative to "convince" him ... that is not right!!!

are you a "dog" person now??? which is it?

I don't think I understand what you are trying to say....you are saying don't try to convince him?

I didn't see your last question until now. I don't know what a dog person is defined as....yes, I love my dogs but, after them I will be fine with not getting anymore dogs.

well thats even worse, by three years you should of known his likes and dislikes. and if you did know then why would you go out and get what 3 dogs? in hoping to one day marry him knowing he dose not like dogs?
This is something you and him are going to have to work out. members here are not going to be able to make that choice for you, you have to.

OMG! I didn't mean to start a debate. Ok, even though I shouldn't have to I'm going to defend myself. I have 2 dogs and yes I knew he disliked dogs but, I got Cocoa and he was fine with that and then I started volunteering at my local shelter and Daisy was going to be put to sleep so, I adopted her. He did get angry that I now I have 2 dogs to bring into a marriage. I know its something he and I will have to workout and we will. I didn't ask for members to make that choice for me? Did I? You can read back and see if I asked that. I simply asked if anyone has been in my shoes NOT what are your opinions on this topic and please "dog" me and my boyfriend. I wanted to know if someone was in a similar situation and how they worked it out. I just wanted to see if someone could relate to me. I didn't mean to turn everyone against me and think badly of me.

No...

I answered you, told you I had been in the same situation and I made a decision ... you did not ask me what that decision was, you merely asked me if I thought you should or should not try to "convince" him.

It is going to be one of two scenarios ...

1- you wimp out and give up the dogs and perhaps regret it
2- he will be "convinced" by you and give in, and perhaps he will regret it ..

make a decision and see what he does ... but stand by your convictions .. you do have some, yes???? You have 3 dogs....
what is the alternative? Make them backyard dogs, give them away, what will you do???

problem
 

I have never found even a simple friendship worked with any one if they did not accept my dogs..they didn't have to act like a fool over them, but all my close friends love dogs as much or even more then myself...I know this is very prejustice on my part, but if a person does not love and respect a dog, it makes me distrustful of them..silly I know. A companion dog bestows tremendous love and devotion upon the humans in their life, rejecting this devotion makes me leery, no one can have too much love in their life.....like I said..silly of me.

It sounds like you are talking about waiting 5 years to marry Kevin -- that sounds like a lot of time for things to change. Why are you deciding this now?

I can see if either of you are contemplating ending this relationship based off this decision. But it sounds like you are already willing to give up your dogs for this man.

If I were you, I would be looking at what else might I have to give up with this man. Will there be other demands or choices?

You're young, it's hard to see what you will want 10, 20 yrs from now - what happens when you feel the need for a dog again -- because I'm assuming you felt this at one time or you would not have made the big investment of taking on 2 yorkies.

I couldn't have been with a man that didn't want dogs at some point when I was your age -- but I lived in a sorority house & never had pets that weren't part of my parent's home until I was married. While I have had years where I did not have a dog, there has always been at least one cat in the house in absence of a dog -- I just couldn't be with a man who didn't recognize and appreciate my desire to share my life with a four-legged bundle of joy.

I'm sorry you are in this position

What I believe we will do is I will keep my dogs and just not getting anymore after that. Which is totally fine by me. I wouldn't make them backyard dogs they are are too small for that and not outdoor dogs. I have 2 dogs.

Well said, and I agree.

I don't belittle anyone for not liking dogs. Just like I don't belittle someone for being gay or straight, a democrat or republican, loves kids or doesn't like kids, etc. I also don't not be friends with someone just because they don't like my dogs. Like I've said before my dogs are important to me but, not more important than human relations.

I don't know how long it will be before we get married; atleast two years. I'm deciding this now because its important to me and I believe in working things out ahead of time. In the future if I feel the desire for a dog we will agree on it together. When I just had Cocoa he was fine with him being in the house but, now that I have two he isn't too fond of the idea. I have a yorkie and a chihuahua.

I don't think you have to defend yourself. However, when you make a posting, you are opening yourself up to people's opinions about what you post. That is what a posting forum is all about. We are DOG LOVERS on this forum, so of course we are going to voice our opinions about questions asked about issues that concern them.

Yes, I understand that.

well, yeah! Not getting any more dogs would seem logical since he is adverse to having the 2 you already have in the house. Adding more would definitely be insulting to him at this point.

As someone else said, this is probably 3-5 years down the road. It is good to discuss things before getting married, but the dogs are in your life now, someone needs to accept that fact.

I am glad you will not make them outdoor dogs, they are little babies ... and always will be.

I agree with those who said they are leery of people who do not like dogs.

Good luck with your decision.
I rest my case!

You are smart for looking at this now -- although, it is hard for me and others to understand why you didn't consider this man's feelings before bringing 2 dogs into the picture.

Is it really an option for him to allow you to have the 2 dogs in your house once you are married?

While I appreciate how difficult it is to find the perfect match with a man, my perfect match will love me & my animals. I'm sorry you are in this pickle, but you created this yourself - I don't mean this to sound mean but this is the truth -- and this is not going to be an easy fix. I just feel for your 2 little babies

I'm sorry for offending all of the people I have obviously offended with asking for advice on the subject. Trust me, I won't post anything else on this site asking for advice. I learned my lesson. I am not a bad person and choosing to not have dogs is not a sin. My boyfriend loves me and would never force me to do anything against my wishes. I know that he doesn't want dogs in the house and I have been trying to come to a mutual decision. Which, I now believe is to not get anymore dogs after my two pass on. He is willing to accept them (trust me, we've been talking about it since I first posted) because they are my babies and he knows how much they mean to me but, he doesn't want me getting anymore after them. But, if it did come down to them or him it would definitely be him. I'm sorry that he means that much to me but, that's just that. I love animals and volunteer at my local animal shelter and even rescued Daisy from there. I would never mistreat an animal and neither would Kevin. If I did, for any reason, have to give them up they would stay with my mom and would be well taken care of. Once again, I'm sorry for bringing up the subject

Of course, I know I got myself into this situation. When I got Cocoa he was fine with it...please, look back at my other posts. I wasn't thinking rationally when I adopted Daisy, I just wanted to save her. Yes, it is an option for me to have the 2 dogs once we are married; he just would rather we not get anymore unless we discuss it first and he definitely would not want more than one in the house at a time. Don't worry about my 2 little babies, they are fine and will be. I wouldn't do anything that would harm them.

problem
 

I do understand exactly what you are saying...I hope I did not sound like I was belittling your BF...I was not..I simply wonder about people who keep animals at arms length...why the "closed" heart...? I realize not everyone can own a dog or even want to for many reasons..but when a person says they do not like dogs, it is hard for me to go further..seriously I do not trust people who do not like dogs..or any animal..doesn't mean I want to own a tiger or elephant, but I am in awe of and respect them...and God must be trememously wild about animals..He made a garden full before He made a human being...

Your Mom? In one or two of your help threads you say that your Family and BF both want you to get rid of your Yorkie, so are you sure your mom is willing to take him? Not to be mean but you have so many help threads and most of them are complaining about your Yorkie, are you sure its Not you too that wants to get rid of him? It sure sounds like it after reading your other threads. you even had him up for sell. Now someone is caring for him for you. Im not trying to be mean I just worry about those babies.

I can understand what you mean and its not that Kevin dislikes dogs he just dislikes them in the house. And lordy I know its another sin to have a dog outside but, I think if the dog is big enough, is given shelter, and heat in the winter and a shade in the summer then it is totally fine. He enjoys being around my dogs (except when Cocoa gets in his hyper fits, lol) and enjoys others dogs just would rather not have any in his house. And I can understand where he is coming from.

YES, COCOA DOES GET ON MY MOM'S NERVES BUT, SHE WOULDN'T NOT TAKE CARE OF HIM IF I ASKED HER TO. YES, I DO HAVE HELP THREADS BECAUSE I WAS OVERWHELMED WITH SCHOOL, WORK, VOLUNTEERING AND TRYING TO TRAIN COCOA. I HAVE NOW GOTTEN SOME MORE TIPS AND AM WORKING ON DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES FOR TRAINING WHICH ARE WORKING WELL. I ALSO HAVE LOWERED MY VOLUNTEER TIME. AND NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GET RID OF HIM AND IF YOU WILL READ MY POSTS THAT IS CLEAR. NO ONE IS TAKING CARE OF HIM BUT, ME. HE IS SITTING RIGHT HERE BESIDE ME AT THIS MOMENT. HE WAS GOING TO GO TO KIM FOR TRAINING BUT, LIKE I SAID PLANS HAVE CHANGED. LIKE I ALREADY SAID MY BABIES ARE FINE AND TAKEN CARE OF BETTER THAN MOST KIDS. JUST BECAUSE I WAS HAVING A HARD TIME DOES NOT MAKE ME A BAD PARENT

I'm glad they will be cared for -- although your early posts had you leaving the dogs with your mom :confused: - that's what's confusing here.

I understand you wanted to save Daisy - but in saving her, I would hope that would mean a forever home.

I'm sorry you are feeling picked upon or judged. Don't hide or avoid yt, some of us are more passionate about these issues.

I agree. I saw those threads about Cocoa for sale and i felt so bad for him. You wrote earlier in this thread that your mom isn't fond about you having them but she accepts it now so how do you know that she will keep them if you leave? It doesn't sound like she is too crazy about them. I think the best solution would be to rehome both the dogs now to great homes so that later down the road, 3-5 yrs later when you move out they won't be heartbroken. The move will be less hurtful on them while they are still young.

I'm glad they will be cared for -- although your early posts had you leaving the dogs with your mom - that's what's confusing here.

I understand you wanted to save Daisy - but in saving her, I would hope that would mean a forever home.

I'm sorry you are feeling picked upon or judged. Don't hide or avoid yt, some of us are more passionate about these issues.


If I, for any reason, couldn't keep them yes my mom would. They would still be well taken care of. I never stated I made a choice to get rid of them. I have just been thinking of all options. Yes, I feel very picked on and judged.

I never said I was getting rid of them!!!!!!!!! I've been thinking of my options. My dogs are perfectly fine. Like I said earlier, I regret asking for advice SO much!