Thanks guys for all of your help and advice! I know everyone is going to think I'm a horrible person for saying this but, my dogs are very important to me and they are extremely well taken care of and spoiled but, they are not my life. I know Kevin will come around but, I shouldn't force him to live with dogs if he doesn't want to. I still have a year and a half left of undergrad and 3 years of law school and I'm not getting married til I'm either done with school or close to it so, I've got awhile until then.

Thomas had a "no pet-no children" motto when I met him. When the relationship turned serious and he asked me to marry him he knew my two cats came with the bargain. He comrpomised without it ever being brought up.

When I decided to get Lucy I called him to tell him I was going to pick her up and he said "you know the rule" and I said, "you knew how difficult I am when you married me". He met me at the breeders and has loved her every bit as much as I do from the day she came home.

It truly was a compromise for him and I think it is what makes our marriage strong. We both compromise on what we can because we want each other to be happy. He knows how much joy she brings me (and him also) and that makes him happy. "No pets" is one compromise I could never make and I'm glad I didn't have to choose because I wouldn't be with Thomas today were that the case. That's just me...

Best of luck in your decision :)

Please don't take my comments the wrong way - I'm sure you will work it out for the best for all of you. You don't owe anyone an explanation but since you posted I guess you will get all types of responses. But since you got your doggies 3 years after you met him then you knew about his allergies, right? If you knew that why did you get them? I guess that's the part that I don't understand.

I said allergies in a general way...he is always sniffing and sneezing but, hasn't been "diagnosed" with pet allergies. Just didn't want ppl jumping down my throat b/c he just doesn't like pets in the house. I guess unlike most of you I grow up with no pets in the house so, I can see where he is coming from.

My bf & I were together for 9 years with no pets, although I am a MAJOR animal lover and he is not, plus he has allergies too. After 9 years I BEGGED for a dog. We got our first yorkie. My boyfriend decided after that he didnt want to get married and have kids, the dog made him realize how much work and responsibility a family would be. We broke up.... after I was able to look back on the relationship, I realized that its a LONG life to live when you cannot EVER have what you want (pets, dogs specifically) bc someone else feels the need to control you in that aspect by saying they don't like them. (its taking control over your life that he is doing)

Thats all I'll say...... :) good luck with your decision!

I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. I hope it works out for you

I understand what you're saying. My dogs are my babies but I would not put them ahead of my husband. But... one of the reasons I think my husband rocks is that he would never ask me to.

For example, if my husband were diagnosed with yorkie allergies I would not hesitate to find my babies a new home. It would break my heart but it would break my heart more to know my hubby had to stay medicated because of a decision I made. On the other hand, my hubby would probably try to talk me into keeping them because he wouldn't want to see me sad. The end result would be they'd go but not because my husband made me but because I love my husband and I know he loves me and would put my happiness above his (although I wouldn't let him.:p ).

I think you are very smart to think about these things and get them worked out ahead of time. IMO it makes no difference that you got your dogs after knowing how your BF feels about them because you are not married and you are not living together. You can't make life decisions based on what ifs. You are a single girl and have every right to buy dogs if you want them.

The dogs may not be your life, but you have to remember that YOU are THEIR whole life. It's just not fair to the dogs for you to have them for 4-5 years and then get rid of them like that. They love you, depend on you...like I said - you are their world. I think you'll miss having pets once you can't have them anymore. I sure couldn't live without them

Thank you so much you are one of the few that have given me advice without being judgemental. I will work something out that will not hurt Kevin nor my babies. I will prob. just keep them and not get anymore after them. I love dogs and enjoy having the ones I have but, could live with not getting more after them.

I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

LOL, I'm glad you could follow it.:p I just re-read my post and it made my head spin.:rollingey I don't usually talk in such circles. Good luck- I'm sure you will have a great future together since y'all try to work things out before they are a huge issue.

dont be sorry you asked for advice that is what YT is here for! To help each other and answer each others questions:) we do have to realize that when you ask a group of people for advice and their opinion you will sometimes get responses you dont agree with. Im sure all the responses you received were not meant to be hurtful just peoples honest opinions :)

Thank you! I'm sure its hard for some to believe but, Kevin is a wonderful guy even though he doesn't love dogs indoors. He would NEVER be mean to one he is very sweet to mine he just would rather not live with any. I can respect that and understand where he is coming from; my dad is the same way and my step dad too. My mom has learned to deal with Cocoa and Daisy but, doesn't love me having them either. Esp. Cocoa; he is one only a mother could love ;) lol. He, like all Yorkies I'm sure, can be very hyper and that annoys some people and I don't get angry with them or become judgmental. Some people just aren't dog people and that doesn't mean they are bad people or any less than those of us who do like dogs. I think the best compromise for us is to put off marriage for awhile and me not get anymore dogs after Cocoa and Daisy. Just because that will be fine with me doesn't make me a bad person or suggest I don't take care of them. Trust me, they are spoiled rotten and given the best care. I just believe my husband should come first and we can meet in the middle by me getting a large dog for outdoors or something. This whole post isn't meant for you but, just trying to clarify things. Once again, thanks!

Yes, I do realize that but, I get defensive and hurt when people try to discourage a relationship they know nothing about. Ya know? I just asked if anyone else had a similar situation and if so how did they compromise.

I understand how you feel, I too was exactly like that (and sometimes still am) I get offended very quickly but I have come to realize that most of the YT members are really great people and do not say things to get people upset intentionally. See I didnt answer the post right away because you asked if anyone had been in your shoes and what did they do, and I have never been in the situation you are in now. I will say that I dont think you boyfriend is a horrible person at all! some people are just not animal lovers, are they wrong bad people? ofcourse not! you do however need to find a solution to the problem. Its better to address the issue now rather than later. Good luck Im sure it will all work out!

Thank you so much! That is why I was asking for advice. We aren't getting married for atleast two more years so, I have lots of time to convince him ;) I know he won't make me get rid of my dogs but, was just wondering what I can do so he doesn't think I don't respect his wishes.

This is just my own opinion, but I LOVE my dogs and would never give them up!! My husband loves dogs and all animals, but he really didn't want me to get a yorkie. He likes bigger dogs, like labs. But, he knew how much it meant to me to have a yorkie (or two hehe), so he compromised and agreed to get Jake. After about 2.3 seconds, he was in love with Jake! When I wanted a second one, he said no he thought one was enough. But, again, he knows how much it meant to me. I waited years...until my kids were grown to get my first yorkie. He said if it made me happy, then fine. So, now we have the two boys, and he's just as in love with them as I am. I think it's important to have compromise in a relationship. I'm always willing to compromise for my hubby too. There is alot of give and take in a relationship. I know my hubby would never ask me to give up my dogs. He knows they are my passion. But, I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. At least you will still be able to see them if your mom keeps them. I just wouldn't be able to do it.

Thanks for your opinion.

Don't regret asking for advise. It's just that when you are on a forum where most of us love our dogs like they were our children, you're probably not going to get many responses like you're hoping to hear. Hopefully he'll learn to love your dogs too and will realize having dogs in the house in not a bad thing. Also, please please don't get an "outside" dog. I think it's aweful for a dog to have to live outside, away from its family. Dogs are pack animals and want to be where their "pack" (family) is. Unless you spend hours and hours outside with the dog, it's not going to get the life it deserves. I don't believe in outside animals

I didn't ask for anyone's opinions other than if they have been in my situation and most of the one's that replied have not. However, thank you for sharing.

Like I said, I wouldn't put myself in that situation because I'd never even date someone that doesn't love animals. I just couldn't live without them

Yes, I realize that. I was dating Kevin before I got my dogs and had never had dogs before them.

Be thankful that Kevin was honest and up front with you about the dogs. You can think about it and make a decision about what is most important to you. It isn't fair to ask him to live with the dogs if he has allergies and they make him sick. Perhaps he could try allergy treatments and see if that would help both his health and his feelings about the furbabies.

Sometimes life just sucks.....you can't always have everything you want and need....Good luck!

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I do not see where you have a problem...he is being honest. If you want to have a permenent relationship, it will be without dogs..if you want dogs in your home, then this relationship will not work...it is one thing to not want dogs around, but another to be allergic.
I am allergic to cats...5 minutes in a house with a cat and my head is stuffed up...so if my husband had been a cat lover we would not be married. When we married he had never had house dogs, only farm dogs..but he loved me and said the dogs came with the deal..BUT he was not allergic...

oh you just wanted people to answer "yes" or "no" then ...

okay, Yes!

Your the one that said they are not your life, All Im trying to say is once your married in a year or two its going to be that much harder on those dogs if you do decide your not going to keep them because your BF dont like dogs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YorkieShadow
I agree.
I couldnt be with someone who doesnt like dogs but that is me. Maybe your not 100% dog person then, I mean if you can give them up and get married and not have any dogs in your life ever again. and that not bother you. I could not live with out my dogs. Thats how much I love them. It takes two to make a marriage and two to agree on a lot of things. If you both cant agree on Dogs and your willing to give them up for him , then they are prob better off being rehomed.

Don't attack me and imply I don't take care of my dogs or don't love them. I never said I will give them away for sure, just trying to figure out how to compromise on the issue. If he doesn't want dogs I should respect his wishes just how you are saying he should respect my thoughts about the dogs and deal with it. Someone has to deal with it, either him or me so whose to say it has to be me. He didn't say I have to chose between him or my dogs just said he would rather not live with dogs. I'm sorry I even asked for advice now.

Who's attacking? just because I gave my opinion does not mean Im attacking. what do you want us to lie and say yes do what your BF wants Thats the best way. Like I said before I would not have a man who does not love animals as I do. If you do then thats your choice. sorry your not going to hear every thing that you want to hear. But you knew that before you posted thats why you said dont put my BF down or what ever it was you said.

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. We are supposed to talk about it tomorrow. He won't force me to do anything we just have to come to a mutual decision. He isn't severely allergic the main thing is he just isn't a dog person. You're right sometimes life does suck and we have to make compromises.

No, I wanted advice from people who have actually been in my shoes and had to come to a mutual decision about their dogs. A lot of people that have posted just wanted to share their opinion on "if I had a bf that didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't want to know what would you do but, what have you done. Ya know what I'm trying to say?

No, I want people to reply that have been in my shoes not those who say "I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't like my dogs" and such. I didn't ask should I stay with Kevin or not I asked for advice from those that have been in my situation.