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|07-20-2007, 07:47 AM||#1|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Macomb, Illinois
My beautiful Jerzee Lina
I know I haven't been on here in a while, but I needed to come here for support. I lost my beautiful baby girl yesterday. She was such a wonderful puppy and not a second goes by that I don't want her back. I think she knows how much I loved her and will continue to love her, though. I'm carrying so much guilt for the way things could have been and I'm wondering if I was part of the reason she isn't with me today. I took my sweet little 6-month old baby into the vet's office on Wednesday afternoon and kissed her goodbye for the last time as I handed her over to strangers. She had an appointment for Thursday morning to get spayed and they asked that I bring her in the night before so they could run tests and make sure everything was alright before proceeding with surgery. She made it through the surgery just fine, my strong little baby. But soon after she started regaining consciousness, her little heart stopped. I guess it was her time to go, but I wasn't ready to let her. They tried for 20 minutes to resuscitate her, but no luck. I was so excited for my little girl to be coming home today. I would have been picking her up in an hour and a half and staying home from work to be with her. I received the phone call yesterday shortly after I got to work. The vet started by saying the operation went well. This lifted my spirits since I had a bad feeling about taking her in. He then went on to say that there had been complications, but she was still hooked up to the monitors. My first thought was that something was wrong, but I still had hope my strong little baby would pull through. It was then he told me she didn't make it and I broke down. I have had so many feelings running through me: anger, guilt, sadness. There are so many things I wish I could have done with her before she was taken from me, but I guess everyone feels that way. I'll never be able to fully recover from the pain I feel. A couple of people I work with said that I should look for a new puppy to ease the pain, but I think that would be disrespecting my baby girl. I don't want anything to take away from her precious life. I just need some support because I feel as if my heart has been ripped from my chest. I'm not able to eat, to sleep. I haven't even been able to go home since. Everything reminds me of her and I feel as if I'm all alone in feeling this way, even though I have a very supportive family. My fiance is taking this pretty hard as well because he loved that little dog so much. She touched so many hearts in such a short time. I just wish there was something to ease the pain, but I think I'll have to wait it out. I keep remembering the song by Tim McGraw and thinking of my own little girl who I'll miss so much.
Gotta hold on easy as I let you go.
Gonna tell you how much I love you,
though you think you already know.
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm.
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born.
A beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.
When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone.
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown.
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You!" in the moonlight at your door.
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More!".
I love you Reeny Bean. I always will. . .
|07-20-2007, 08:08 AM||#2|
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED
Join Date: Feb 2006
Blog Entries: 3
omg I'm so so sorry hun.
This is so sad, I wish I could say something to take the pain away, but only time can heal.
Please except my deepest sympathy.
RIP sweet baby.
|07-20-2007, 08:13 AM||#3|
Donating Yorkie Yakker
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Schererville, IN
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers as you try to get through this difficult time.
|07-20-2007, 08:16 AM||#4|
Donating YT 8000 Club Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Spokane, WA
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, especially on such a common surgery procedure . .but it does happen rarely
I hope you will one day soon be able to break away from your grief and find another baby to love. She would have wanted that as she knows how much you have taken good care of her. She would not want to see you unhappy for a long time.
|07-20-2007, 08:29 AM||#6|
Donating YT 1000 Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Oh! I'm sooooo sorry for your loss! Hugs and prayers to you during this rough time!
“Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” ― Dean Koontz
|07-20-2007, 08:29 AM||#7|
Yorkie Kisses are the Best!
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Houston TX
Blog Entries: 1
Oh nooooooo - that's just awful and I'm so so sorry....I can't imagine how sad you are and this shouldn't have happened.
|07-20-2007, 08:58 AM||#9|
YT 1000 Club Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Mobile AL
I agree, that shouldn't have happened. I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe right now is not the best time to get another. Might want to wait a little bit, till the deep pain lets up. But do consider getting another in the future.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
|07-20-2007, 09:09 AM||#11|
YT 1000 Club Member
Join Date: May 2005
Oh I am so sorry for your loss as well. That is way to sad that is why I just can't spade my little girl DIVA. I hope the pain and sorrow you are feeling gets better and that her memories make it easier.
|07-20-2007, 09:36 AM||#12|
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: So. California
I am very new on this board, but my heart broke when I read this. I am sitting here in tears as I write this. I am SO SO SO sorry this happened. It will take time to heal your wounds and your heart will always remember, but do consider getting another before too long. It is amazing how it can help you to heal. I KNOW! I have been there.
Sonya, Owned by Ladybug, Tilly, Sunshine, Beamer, Rainbow, Sonny and Righteous RIP Sunnie (11/12/2003-7/31/2009)
|07-20-2007, 09:43 AM||#13|
Gizzy & Kandi spoil me
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Waco, Texas
I am so very sorry for your loss. Praying for you right now.
The fullness of our heart is expressed in our eyes, in our touch, in what we write, in what we say, in the way we walk, the way we receive, the way we need. -Mother Teresa ( RIP Gizmo 3/9/07-8/18/12)
|07-20-2007, 10:09 AM||#15|
Donating YT 500 Club Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Metro St. Louis
Blog Entries: 1
I couldn't post after I first read this. I had to come back to tell you how sorry I am for your too tragic loss. God bless you and may time quickly heal your sorrow. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
RIP my sweet boy, Ozzie 1997-2011http://thisdmnhouse.blogspot.com/