i can't decide if i can be in that room. i am totally unprepared - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

dawn27 · 04-28-2011, 01:48 PM

I have suffered many loses of several beloved furry member of our family. As a child, in my twenties married and as a wife and mother of a 7 years old daughter. I is never an easy thing to have to go through.

As a child we lose several family pets for various reasons, each of them in very different ways. Weather it be losing Red by a car accident. Our beautiful dam Ginger after whelping and getting bitches fever or when my mother made the decision to have our 18 year old Chi Chi put to sleep do to her failing heat and liver of old age. I was not present when they passed nor was I told of any of them until after the fact. I didn't get to say my good byes, I didn't get to say I love you one last time nor did I get to hug by long time companions and look into those big beautiful eyes to reassure them that they would not be alone for long. They were going to a better place and that there would be someone there waiting for them on the other side.

When it came time to make the heart breaking decision to have my own family pets, our 4yr old Norweigian Elkhound "Shadow" & that within three month later our 18 yr old tiger cat "Sheena" put to sleep. I was not going to let them go through it alone. They were part of our family, we had many years of companionship and loving times together and I made a point to be there as they took their last breath. I make sure that my daughter knew what was going to happen and gave her the chance to say her good byes. I held each of them in my arms as I talked to them and gave them all of my attention, they were my only concern at that very moment. making their passing as easy and painful as possible was the only thing on my mind at the moment in life. I miss them all to this day ...

It pains me not being given the opportunity to say my goodbye's as a child. But if I had made the choice to not be there with Shadow or Sheena as they took there last breath I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

Rest in Peace ..

stormchaser · 09-18-2013, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iloverufus

with approximately 3 weeks left with rufus, a story i've shared in two other threads, i keep wrestling painfully with whether or not i can be in that room and watch someone take my dogs life away. it dawned on me recently, it's not so much that he has to go, that's heartbreaking, what was eating at my soul was how i can live in the moment of watching my dog lose his life. its unbearable and that's where i realized my problem lies. i dont know if i can bring myself to watch that. im in a bind bc no matter what choice i make i'm going to be haunted. if i am there what if i can't get that picture out of my mind, and it's the last picture i have of him, if i'm not there, i feel guilty like i abandoned him. i've had ppl give me their opinions. i talked to a therapist and he suggested that maybe being in that room is not right for me, and that i shouldn't feel guilty. i promised rufus i would be there but as time draws near i don't truly know if i can. i just want him to know that no matter what happens, i love him more than i love myself. he is the one who taught me to respect myself and i am forever indebted to him. i have no clue what to do, and i can't say what i will do. for some reason i dont know if being there is right for me. like any death i've experienced, i was able to go see my grandmother right after she died, and while painful, i didnt have to watch her die and it was peaceful seeing her after. a bit scary but not something i wasn't able to handle. its the watching of this event that scares me to death. i can go say my goodbyes when it's over, i just dont know if i can be there when it happens. and i worry that what if i'm not, and the next time i have a dog when i'm an adult and i go thru this again, and i'm strong enough to watch, does that mean, not being there for rufus mean i loved rufus less? all these thoughts and i just am totally at a loss

No one can answer that question but you as for me I was faced with the exact samething and there was no way I wasn't going to be there for my dear sweet Roxee she was always there for me no matter what and I knew I had to be there for her or I would have never forgiven myself I held her in my arms as she slowly went to sleep for the last time. and now I have no regrets I know I was there for her at the end and couldn't see it anyother way

Lisa and Pic · 09-19-2013, 02:08 AM

My heart hurts for you. I know that I am going to have to go through the same thing with my foster probably, within the next year. For me, I want him in my arms as he passes to the Bridge. But only you can make that decision for you. Hugs...

I'm editing and realizing this is an older thread. Still want to send hugs, though.

04-28-2011, 01:48 PM	#31
dawn27 2+2=4 X the Love ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Bean Town Ohio Posts: 9,456 Blog Entries: 1	I have suffered many loses of several beloved furry member of our family. As a child, in my twenties married and as a wife and mother of a 7 years old daughter. I is never an easy thing to have to go through. As a child we lose several family pets for various reasons, each of them in very different ways. Weather it be losing Red by a car accident. Our beautiful dam Ginger after whelping and getting bitches fever or when my mother made the decision to have our 18 year old Chi Chi put to sleep do to her failing heat and liver of old age. I was not present when they passed nor was I told of any of them until after the fact. I didn't get to say my good byes, I didn't get to say I love you one last time nor did I get to hug by long time companions and look into those big beautiful eyes to reassure them that they would not be alone for long. They were going to a better place and that there would be someone there waiting for them on the other side. When it came time to make the heart breaking decision to have my own family pets, our 4yr old Norweigian Elkhound "Shadow" & that within three month later our 18 yr old tiger cat "Sheena" put to sleep. I was not going to let them go through it alone. They were part of our family, we had many years of companionship and loving times together and I made a point to be there as they took their last breath. I make sure that my daughter knew what was going to happen and gave her the chance to say her good byes. I held each of them in my arms as I talked to them and gave them all of my attention, they were my only concern at that very moment. making their passing as easy and painful as possible was the only thing on my mind at the moment in life. I miss them all to this day ... It pains me not being given the opportunity to say my goodbye's as a child. But if I had made the choice to not be there with Shadow or Sheena as they took there last breath I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. Rest in Peace .. __________________ Mommy to: Quincy, & Ruby Bella / Miah & Brandi Gone but Never Forgotten Visit: Bella Dawns for all of your Custom Pet Wear needs.

09-19-2013, 02:08 AM	#33
Lisa and Pic ♥ Piccolo & Vivi ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Kentucky Posts: 14,311	My heart hurts for you. I know that I am going to have to go through the same thing with my foster probably, within the next year. For me, I want him in my arms as he passes to the Bridge. But only you can make that decision for you. Hugs... I'm editing and realizing this is an older thread. Still want to send hugs, though. __________________ Lisa, Dixie, and Jazzy (RIP Piccolo and Vivi) Last edited by Lisa and Pic; 09-19-2013 at 02:11 AM.