Another Thank you and little update
 

I'm trying to not get too mushy but I HAVE to say Thank you again to all you awesome Yorkie people.....

Sunday was the first day of Autumn and also marked one month since I found my husband had died & it feels like just yesterday.:(

My guilt has been enormous because I woke up within minutes of him passing and keep thinking IF I had known or woken up sooner I could have revived him but I'm trying very hard to move past that. I have no memory of that night other than finding him and maybe that's a good thing but it bothers me that my mind blocked it out...I know people go thru worse in the world everyday but this truly has been the hardest and saddest month of my life. I miss him so much my heart just hurts. BUT - with the support I've received I can honestly say that you all have been a blessing in my life and I truly thank each of you from the bottom of my heart.

I've been trying to answer each and every person who pm'd, emailed & called me.... I also thank those those who sent cards & those who sent donations - you all just blew me away with your support. It's thanks to those donations that I did finally go see a doctor to get something to help the Raw emotion and to help me sleep & it seems to be working - the last 2 nights I was finally able to sleep without crying and laying there dwelling.

Then there's Jeannie and Paula who came to his funeral in Michigan - Jodie who came to the families house after the funeral with heartfelt gifts for the girls (hugs) and also to Jamie and her husband who took such great care of my girls while I was gone for the weekend for the funeral-

To Linda - (fufu fashions) Your visit with food and picking me up at the airport is so appreciated - how can I every say thank you all properly for this ?

My life will change and I'll move on....I know it will get easier in time and for those who asked what my plans are - right now I'm taking it one day at a time - staying busy sorting and going thru our 12 years together because I do feel I'll have to move as financially I don't think I can afford this house. I'm planning to sell what I can and give the rest to the Salvation Army but it's just overwhelming on some days.....Other days I really work hard.

The girls are doing a little better but Cheri has a hard time when I have to leave the house. She was so used to having her 'daddy' here that she just gets hysterical when I have to go out but I'm working with her...Tessa (my cocker) still cries in her sleep but seems to be much better - I think their little sleepover at Jamies (yorkiecrazy) house did her a world of good - she'd been mourning harder than my yorkie girls....She had never left my husbands side when he got sick so she took it the hardest.

the upside is - my youngest son wants to move in with me. He has some personal stuff to take care of but I hope he can move back home with me soon - he needs me and I need him.

There's alot more going on but I don't want to bore everyone - I just wanted to do a post again and thank ALL the great Yorkie People that I've been blessed to get to know online and in person. You've all just been so great I can't thank you enough.....We really ARE a big family and you're all so special to me I just had to do another Thread to say this.

for those that I haven't written yet - it's been hard to be on the computer so I do a little each morning and I HOPE I dont accidentally miss someone - if you haven't heard from me yet - please forgive me....there are some days I can't type but I'm trying really hard to get 'me' back.
Sorry this was so long - but I HAD to say it again - Yorkie people are just the best .... you all have been awesome and I wish I could hug each of you in person.

Thank you again for all your support - I'll never forget it - EVER.

Awe V I am glad that you got to go see a doctor, and were finally able to get some medicine. That would be so awsome if your son moved back it, it will help the both of you guys. As always, you are in my prayers.

Hugs,
Kelsey

Good to hear form you! I was so sorry to hear about your husband. I know having the girls back helps out a lot.Just haivng them there I know means the world. I think your son moving in will bring a lot of comfort as well. Take Care. ((HUGS))

ps.....any advise on how I can ease Cheri's heart when I leave the house ? She gets almost hysterical and it's really hard to get out the door. They've never been crated and I'm to afraid to put up a gate for fear of it falling on them - but I can't have her trying to run out after me everytime I leave the house. I've tried going out for longer and longer periods of time - but she acts the same whether I'm gone 20 minutes or 3 hours -

Someone said try throwing treats down the hall - but she's already caught on to that trick:) Chanel will Sit and Stay when I tell her to but Cheri just doesn't 'get it' & gets super upset everytime I have to go out poor baby :(

I could use any suggestions - she actually got out 3 times and lucky for both of us - stopped at the car ....but I just can't have her doing this.

Do you leave a tv on or something that has noise? where its not completly quiet in the house?

My TV is on All the time .....and she has Chanel and Tessa to keep her company. She's just so used to her daddy being home with them when I was out that having NO one home is making her really upset. It's very hard to just get out the door now - I'm so scared one day she'll get past me and head to the street -

IF I had the time and money I'd try Doggie Training School but at this time am watching every penny and trying to figure out my future

V it is so good to hear from you. I can't imagine how difficult this has all been for you but you are a strong woman and you will get through this. I think it's great that your son wants to move in with you. It will be good for you both.

I just think that the outpouring from the people here at YT is amazing. We ARE a family and it's one of the first places I come to in the morning and one of the last things I do before I go to bed. I would feel so 'disconnected' if I didn't have this group. We are blessed.

One of my dear friends lost her 34 year old daughter to suicide 3 months ago and I have witnessed her grieving process. And it is INDEED a process. There are so many ups and downs but she is seeing a glimmer of light now at the end of the tunnel. So hang in there my friend and know that we are here for you during all of these ups and downs, hills and valleys.

God Bless,
Connie

I am soo sorry to hear that. I am PM'ing you something.

Hi V, my hearts hurts for you but I'm glad to see you post :) I hope your son does move in with you, I know that would be so nice for you.

I'm sorry the girls are going through the hurt too :( I don't have any advice but hope they heal soon too.

Take care

Good morning V,
Sorry to hear Cheri is having a hard time. Perhaps a piece of clothing from
your late husband in her bed might help her. The scent may calm her down
alittle. It dosen't hurt to try. Hope it helps.
Glad to hear your giving it your best shot and taking one day at a time.
I am also happy your getting your much needed rest at night.
Remember, I'm only a phone call away if you need to talk.
Take care of yourself my friend.

im still praying for you villette,, i just feel so bad... it saddens me when
people i know are hurting... anything you need, im here for you.
hugs and kisses to you and the babies

I am Glad you are ok and doing better. We miss you a lot. As for the girls i don't have any Advice but give them lots of kisses from us.:D If you need anything please don't hesitate to ask.

Hi V, when your son comes could you go out when he is there and just take shorter trips when he isn't? I suppose that would work if you decide to work at home but of course if you are gone most of the day I think getting her used to it in small amounts and then gradually increasing it would be the only way I can think of at the moment. I know when I first got Crystal I only gave her a treat when I left so she would look forward to me leaving and it worked but dogs are so different. It will take time for her just as it will for you.

Vee
 

What a wonderful surprise to see your posts this morning. You are missed very much and we understand your need to go slow...
Kiss the girls..I have no clue how to comfort Cheri..I have had two Yorkies loose their moms (Yorkie mom) one attached herself to another adult Yorkie quite fast, the other took a few months to return to her happy self...perhaps your son will be a very positive thing in Cheri's life.

Dear V is was so great to hear from you. I'm glad the donations enabled you to get to the doctor for some much needed help. We miss you so much. You're kind of like the mom of YT, and we're hurting without you too. I hope Cheri will turn around, but like with you it's going to take time. Prayers still coming to you and yours. Hope your son can move back home.

Please know you are thought of and prayed for. Life does move on but the "good" memories stay in our hearts. Take care~

It is good to hear from you V! You are still in my prayers. Things will get better. Have you heard of Rescue Remedy? Maybe that would help Cheri if you give it to her before you go. It is a Bach product you can get at the healthfood store. It is for people and pets!
http://www.rescueremedy.com/


It is on sale on this site (below) and is much cheaper than I have gotten at my local health food store.
http://www.ihealthtree.com/bach-resc...-remedies.html


http://www.bachflower.com/Pets.htm
Stressful situations: visits to the vet, being left alone, adapting to new surrounding. Fear of loud noises. Excessive barking or hissing
Rescue Remedy
Immediate calming effect



Hope this helps!

Thank you all - man you guys can touch my heart with such impact - and thanks LilBit - I'm going to look into that - my poor baby just screams when I try to leave and I'm so worried one day I could accidentally shut the door on her - not to mention this new 'running' out the door - she never did this before - never.

Some of you know I post on 2 sites - well - the 2nd I can't access (it was hacked) and my post here includes those people too - I hope I don't get in trouble for saying that :eek:

I'm hoping this medication will help me from breaking down like I've been doing - I even lost it in the grocery store last week and I just can't interview like that - no one would hire a basket case so I'm really trying to get myself together so I CAN start looking again for work - having a 6 year gap in my resume isn't helping that's for sure but there must be someone out there who will hire me.

I was told by hospice to give it at least 2 months but don't really know if I HAVE that long (financially) - as I said - one day at a time. I never dreamed it would be this hard to accept losing him - people think when one is ill you have a chance to at least say goodbye - I don't feel that at all - if anything I wish I could have him back just one more day so I can say the things I've been saying to him since he died and hug him as hard as I could. He thought he had a year or 2 left and I personally was worried but never dreamed 2 days after calling hospice he would die....he was excited about the new oxygen machine and meds they gave him and very animated the day they were here - then boom - he was gone.:(

wow i am truely sorry to hear about your husband. i know all to well about sleepless nights and the guilt from finding someone who died on sept 11th was the one year mark for baby eligh dieing and for me the past year has pretty much been a blur due to the meds i was on or the stress from all the what ifs and if i could haves. i got my yorkie after eligh died and i really think if it wasnt for her i wouldnt be half way sane today, and the thought of me leaving her hurts me also, we will be taking a trip in oct and if i leave her for an hour she cries and stresses as much as i do. the only things that are making me feel better about leaving her is i know my son and friend will be taking care of her. but still worried grrrr.

Villette, Somehow I have missed alot of your story, but have been praying for you since I heard that you lost your husband. My heart just breaks reading your thoughts today and I wanted you to know that all my thoughts and prayers will be with you until you are on your feet and feeling better.

Hugs to you and your girls,
Kim

V~
Your stories of your hubby just rip my hear out.. I can't imagine your loss.

I don't really have any ideas for Cheri either..but I'm gonna ponder it..;)

You will find a job I'm sure..with your attitude who wouldn't want you. :) When the time is right you'll get something, I'm sure.

I was going to call you over the weekend but everytime I considered it, it was too late and GINA taught me.. NO calls after 9 her mom said so..LOL But I will call you soon.

I love to see your light on here. We all miss you but understand you need time. I'm glad you finally had a good nights rest.

I think too your son moving in could really be a positive for the girls....I know what you mean by the it can be 20 minutes or 3 hours they act the same....Diggy and Bella both freak out when I come in form taking garage out like Id been gone for hours....I don't get it. I'm gonna look into seperation anxiety as that is what they are going thru. I will send you what I find.
It is very real, and Vets recognize it and even medicate in some situations....I think meds would be a last resort tho the dog I know of who's partner died was a weimerinder (sp?) HUGE dog and when the family left he tore all the trim off the windows! He gets medicated during the week. Very sad story. So anyway I will start researching seperation anxiety and see what we can come up with!

Villette.

Thank you for posting. My thoughts & prayers had been with you. I continue to pray for you, that there will be peace in your heart & in your home - I will pray for the dogs to be calmed.

It is so hard. I have a Siamese cat who has been grieving for months. She lost her partner at the end of Nov. & then my daughter left for her 1st yr of college about 5 weeks ago. My cat is a mess. It is so hard to watch them go thru grief.

These sweet girls are there to help you during this time & you are there for them. I hope this Rescue Remedy works for Cheri. I'm going to check it out too.

I will pray for you as you seek employment. The right employer/interviewer is out there - I know that. Nearly 12 yrs ago, I was seeking employment after staying home or going to school for almost 10 yrs. It was scary, but I truly believe God put the right person in my path. I am so grateful to the woman who hired me -- and actually it was outside of my education field & just opened a new door for me. You will find someone who will see your charm & believe in you to do the job!

I am also getting ready to start the new job search because my financial situation recently changed & I can't stay in my home, etc. if I don't find a better paying job. I don't want to look for something new, but have to -- it makes it hard to be in the situation where you have to do something, even when you're not ready to. I'm praying God will make a way for me. I will pray that He also makes a way for you too -- He is so good.

Praying you have a blessed day.

V, don't torture yourself with what 'ifs' you can do nothing about. We have hospice here in the building every other month for someone and they only come when someone has two or three more weeks to live. They are angels and I remember how they helped you with some of the funeral arrangements. Your heart is broken and the 'good-by' is not necessary when people love each other.....your good by was being there with him every day. Gal, we are all praying that it gets easier for you and those of us that have been through it know there is no pain like that pain in the world.

V, I'm glad things are a little bit better for you now and I hope that they continue to get better and better every day. I know how hard it is for you and my thoughts and prayers are with you as always. :)

V,
I am glad to see you back on posting on a few threads. It will take awhile, but you will get back to being yourself. We all care so much aboug you and I am glad your son is coming to live with you and you both can heal. Take care of yourself.

Hi Villette ,
I am glad things are a little better for you . Thoughts and prayers are with you .

I put an xpen around the door so they can run out if we leave or someone comes. YOu have to step over it but it\'s safer for them.

Hi V!!!!
Oh dear friend my heart goes out to you. One day at a time, take it slow, you might feel the need to rush, but you don\'t have to. Things will work out for a job & your home, your heart needs to heal. The girls will fill you up with the very best kisses, your son will be there to help, and you have lots of dear friends who really care about you, who will always be here for you. Stay strong our dear friend, lean on us, we are here.
:hug: :hug: :hug:






:2hearts2: Leonard will forever live in V\'s heart :2hearts2: