I stole a Yorkie....

[tmatherly]

I knew that would get your attention! Actually, the Yorkie stole me, I think. Here's the deal: My 17y/o daughter was given Pippa for Christmas/Birthday 2004 by her boyfriend. Pippa was basically thrust apon us ( and our dogless home)because he didn't even ask if he could buy our daughter a live animal! Anyway, of course I fell in love with Pippa right away.
Now the problem is that Alyssa says I have "taken over" her dog. I admit it-I have, but she's never home-she works, and socializes with friends during the summer and is in school and works during the school year. I feed Pippa, bathe her, cuddle with her, play with her. Pippa knows I'm the momma and loves me, making Alyssa jealous. It is coming to the point that it is causing friction between us. Alyssa is doing things to try to spite me and manipulate me regarding the dog, using her as a weapon. She has even threatened to take Pippa and give her back to her boyfriend to live at their house-they have 6 outside dogs-mostly rotweillers, and a pit bull!!!!
Sometimes Pippa will ignore her when Alyssa calls her and will run over and jump in my lap-this infuriates Alyssa and she comes over and roughly snatches Pippa from me.
I have tried to explain that Pippa has bonded with the person who provides her needs, not just the fun stuff. I am trying very hard not to seem so attached when Alyssa is home, it is just soooo hard. I am overprotective of Pippa and have not allowed Alyssa to haul her off to a friends' house for the day that have 6 small children-I was afraid they would drop her, let her out the door, etc... Alyssa always says "it's my dog, don't tell me what to do" but I always win because I simply won't let her leave with Pippa!

HELP! What should I do??? I've thought about giving her boyfriend the money he paid for her so it becomes a non-issue, although I don't think they'd go for that. Pippa is such a useful tool for her.

[browniesmom622]

id say deff pay for the dog just remember your the mother and your taking care of the dog not her its your dog now not hers i was gonna say mabee get her another dog but the same thing would prob happen sorry im not much help i would deff pay him tho good luck

[HeatherHamptons]

Well first off, it's not your fault things worked out that way. You are Pippa's provider. You care for her and show her affection. Ofcourse she's gonna come to you.

Your daughter is never home, so she doesn't really know her well. I understand she has school and work but if she cant take care of her, then she shouldnt have accepted her.

Pippa has you and I think that's great!

I would say get a second yorkie but that wouldnt help either. The amount of time she's gone, well, that second pup would be stuck on you as well.

They always run to the ones who are there for them the most..and that's you!

I dont think there's anything wrong with it. You take care of her right? So you deserve her love!

[eensor]

Originally Posted by tmatherly

I knew that would get your attention! Actually, the Yorkie stole me, I think. Here's the deal: My 17y/o daughter was given Pippa for Christmas/Birthday 2004 by her boyfriend. Pippa was basically thrust apon us ( and our dogless home)because he didn't even ask if he could buy our daughter a live animal! Anyway, of course I fell in love with Pippa right away.
Now the problem is that Alyssa says I have "taken over" her dog. I admit it-I have, but she's never home-she works, and socializes with friends during the summer and is in school and works during the school year. I feed Pippa, bathe her, cuddle with her, play with her. Pippa knows I'm the momma and loves me, making Alyssa jealous. It is coming to the point that it is causing friction between us. Alyssa is doing things to try to spite me and manipulate me regarding the dog, using her as a weapon. She has even threatened to take Pippa and give her back to her boyfriend to live at their house-they have 6 outside dogs-mostly rotweillers, and a pit bull!!!!
Sometimes Pippa will ignore her when Alyssa calls her and will run over and jump in my lap-this infuriates Alyssa and she comes over and roughly snatches Pippa from me.
I have tried to explain that Pippa has bonded with the person who provides her needs, not just the fun stuff. I am trying very hard not to seem so attached when Alyssa is home, it is just soooo hard. I am overprotective of Pippa and have not allowed Alyssa to haul her off to a friends' house for the day that have 6 small children-I was afraid they would drop her, let her out the door, etc... Alyssa always says "it's my dog, don't tell me what to do" but I always win because I simply won't let her leave with Pippa!

HELP! What should I do??? I've thought about giving her boyfriend the money he paid for her so it becomes a non-issue, although I don't think they'd go for that. Pippa is such a useful tool for her.

Okay. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, because I mean it nicely. This is Your house, your underage daughter, her non-family member boyfriend, and a wonderful little yorkie who loves you as her mommy. Since you take care of her needs and give her all the attention, tell your daughter to back off! You are the one in charge at your house...not your daughter and her boyfriend! I'd smack the living daylights out of my teenager who backtalked me, or snatched a precious dog from my lap, or blackmailed me with the dog. I'm from the old school! Good luck and hang tough!

[Esme's Mommy]

There is really nothing you can do about this. Obviously, the dog loves you because you feed her, play with her, bathe her, etc. My husband is jealous because Esme follows me around and not him, but dogs KNOW the difference. Pippa knows that YOU are the one that keeps her alive and happy! You could try paying for her, but I don't think that's going to work... YOu can just keep doing as you are, and hope your daughter realizes that YOU taking care of her dog is making her life MUCH easier. These guys are HARD work. When I was living with my parents, we had two pomeranians and I didn't do a thing for them. My mom did it all. Now that I am married, in my own home, with my own yorkie, I now realize how much she actually did for those two dogs!!! Good Luck! I know this is a very difficult situation, but your daughter will probably thank you for this later.

[Esme's Mommy]

Originally Posted by eensor

Okay. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, because I mean it nicely. This is Your house, your underage daughter, her non-family member boyfriend, and a wonderful little yorkie who loves you as her mommy. Since you take care of her needs and give her all the attention, tell your daughter to back off! You are the one in charge at your house...not your daughter and her boyfriend! I'd smack the living daylights out of my teenager who backtalked me, or snatched a precious dog from my lap, or blackmailed me with the dog. I'm from the old school! Good luck and hang tough!

I just wanted to add that I wasn't jealous of my moms relationship with the pomeranians, but IF I HAD BEEN, she would have handled it the way eensor said.

[luzangela428]

Ditto on that .... I would of gotten cracked...lol..while I was living in my mom's house.. I was to follow her rules....that was it..that dog is now yours

[Dartprincess]

Well said eensor Old saying is My house My rules.

[eensor]

I think I'm completely out of Estrogen!!! Yesterday and today I just haven't had any patience for young people who are out of hand! LOL

[Biddy's Mom]

I think you should just get another Yorkie - that way you each have one (just kidding!)...

[minniemn]

This kind of reminds me when I was a jr in high school... my cat had died, (of very old age, and passed away in surgery that I was paying for, the vet wrote it off though since the cat didn't survive) anyways, my parents then got me a new kitty... I did everything for the kitty, it slept with me ect, but right after graduation I had moved to another country (germany) and couldn't take the cat with....

so it stayed with my parents for the 2 years I was gone, when I came back, I got a place of my own, where I could have my cat.

My parents said NO WAY... we love the cat and it is staying with us, he has bonded with us... maybe after a few months after you are settled you can take it.... well that cat is STILL living with my parents (it is very old 20yrs)

The point of my story is that, I had no choice but to respect what my parents wanted and thought was best for the cat... animals bond to people, we don't chose they do.... remind her of this, and that if she loves this puppy that she will accept that the best thing for her puppy is to let it be with who it wants to be. You are that puppies pack, and to take you away from her is wrong.

Time to put your foot down and remind her that this is your house, you pay the bills, ect... ALL things in your house are yours, no matter if they were gifts or not, even the clothes on her back.

Like I tell my kids, when you pay ALL the bills of the household then you can be in charge, until then, it is my rules... the dog may have been gifted to her, but it is now part of the household, part of the family. Next time tell her to have her boyfriend buy her a necklass.

[whispersmom2]

What is best for the baby? PERIOD!!!!!!!
Has your daughter paid the vet bills? bought food, toys, meds, flea and heartworm treatments, taken care of her teeth? Add all those expenses up and present her with a bill...she pays- she says! She doesn't-too bad!...
I would have a talk with that presumptious twit of a boyfriend, too. Who does he think he is bringing living creatures into a household without asking? Tell him to learn some manners and respect. BTW, that goes for your daughter too. I am a grandmother and my family better damn-sight respect me. Tell her "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"..Might also write up an agreement that all parties sign..Put in whatever terms are important to YOU!..Good Luck!!!!!

[tmatherly]

Thanks for the support. I don't want you to think that Alyssa acts like this all the time, she's really a good girl. She just doesn't know how to control the situation... Believe me, she tries to manipulate me but doesn't end up winning-ever. It's just the constant butting heads about the baby that's driving me crazy. My husband says that I fuel it by reacting when she starts stuff up-he says I should just reply matter-of-factly and leave it alone or just ignore when she starts. Many of times I tell her she will not take Pippa into a potentially dangerous situation, and she storms off-BUT she doesn't take Pippa. I'm really trying to cool it about all the "baby love" because that makes her madder. I know that she will forget all about her soon enough, because Pippa is obviously NOT her priority-only when it's convenient. My husband says to give it time and Alyssa won't even care anymore.
I will keep you all updated. Thanks again!! Any comments appreciated!

[tmatherly]

Originally Posted by whispersmom2

What is best for the baby? PERIOD!!!!!!!
Has your daughter paid the vet bills? bought food, toys, meds, flea and heartworm treatments, taken care of her teeth? Add all those expenses up and present her with a bill...she pays- she says! She doesn't-too bad!...
I would have a talk with that presumptious twit of a boyfriend, too. Who does he think he is bringing living creatures into a household without asking? Tell him to learn some manners and respect. BTW, that goes for your daughter too. I am a grandmother and my family better damn-sight respect me. Tell her "SHOW ME THE MONEY!"..Might also write up an agreement that all parties sign..Put in whatever terms are important to YOU!..Good Luck!!!!!

I think it's sweet that you feel as passionate about it as me-in fact I think youv'e been in my head-your thoughts on the boyfriend! Yes, I do want to sit down with them both and have a heart to heart. I'm thinking I will talk about a contract, or something like that if necessary. But my plan is to tell the boyfriend, "Thank you for the gift to our FAMILY of Pippa. We love her to death, and she is definetely a member of our family now". I am prepared to have the money ready and say, "if i can be assured that this whole thing about "your dog, my dog" will never come up again, I am prepared to refund the money you paid for her".
We'll see if that works. Actually, "the boyfriend" is a pretty good guy, even if he is a little stupid. I think he will try to talk some sense into Alyssa as well. He does respond to me pretty well.

[eensor]

I'm "a littles less talk and a lot more action" type I guess! I certainly would not reserve affection for Pippa in her presence though. Pippa won't understand and your daughter needs to be told "end of discussion." Just my buttinsky opinion though! You know your family dynamic better than we do!