I stole a Yorkie....

[suzysmitt]

I think it is a matter of respect. If my daughter did that she'd be in big trouble, and I would keep the dog, as you're the one cares for the dog. Remember you have the dog in you're house, and that's 90% of the law. I would threaten to take her to court. It just makes me mad when kids are so ungratefull. Went through that with my son. It's not worth the head aches.

[kewtee]

Here's what I would do:

Write up a list of all the things you do with Pippa - when you do them and how long it takes.
Give your daughter the list and tell her that these things are the reason Pippa bonds with you. She can do all those things to make Pippa bond with her - alas, now it is her choice

Good luck with it!

[Marie]

I think your daugther should understand that Pippa has bonded with you because you are her caretaker. You spend more time with Pippa than her. I know is going to be hard. I agreed with the others is your house is your rukes deal. Please dont stop showing Pippa attention when your daugther is there cause Pippa doeant understand the situation between you 2. Good luck.

[SoCalyorkiLvr]

I am in a very similar situation but I bought the puppy for my daughter. Amy is 17 as well and has one more year of high school. I got Chai for her for easter and she loves her to death. When we picked her up at the airport she held her first and no one else held her until later that day. I was a blubbering idiot because she was sooo much cuter than I ever imagined!

Over spring break Amy took care of her all by herself and the puppy defintiely bonded with her! She slept with her every night. I bought the things the puppy needed but I let my daughter pick them (she doesn't like pink ). It was great. I had a playmate for Hefner, a little girl puppy in the house an a happy daughter.

Unfortunately, as soon as school started up again and my daughter was gone a lot, I was with Chai more than her. She still cared for her after school from 3 on and she slept with her, but when she would spend the night at a girlfriends Chai would sleep wih me. Chai is now more attached to me although she has a good relationship with everyone including my husband. My daughter is a little jealous but she understands and just says Chai loves me more than her.

I am still trying to maintain her bond with Amy because, frankly, I want her to do most of the work. I have Hefner to care for. If my daughter goes to bed early, I take Chai into her room later so she sleeps with her, but sometimes Chai will scratch at the door to get out and Amy will open the door and she comes to me. I have fallen in love with Chai but I keep in the back of my mind that she belongs to Amy, not me.

I am hoping with summer, things will change and Chai will rebond with her "rightful owner".

In your case, it's similar to a baby who is adopted by the grandparents I guess, but you don't want a strained relationship with your daughter so I would encourage your daughter to spend more time with Pippa and treat her like the responsibility she is. If she is not willing to do that then she needs to sign ownership of her over to you immediately. I think a written agreement is a great idea and the sooner the better before the situation gets worse. You are the parent and you can set up fair rules. Rules have consequences and she will know what the consequences are if ahe bresks them. At 17 IMO she should have a say in developing the contract since your job is to teach her to be responsible and at 18 you can no longer control what she does legally (she would still have to follow your rules if she is in your house, but I assume she will leave for college or something eventually).

Part of the contract might be that you will buy Alyssa another puppy when she is more settled after she moves out of your house and can be more responsible or you can pay her the money now since it was her present and let do as she wants with it.

Just some ideas. Good luck.

[Sydney'sMom]

It sounds like your daughter is acting VERY imaturely for her age. You (I'm assuming) pay the vet bills and buy the food for Pippa. Plus you show her the love and attention she needs. Hopefully you can establish her as your dog before your daughter is of age and moves out. I would hate to see her torn from her mommy!

[tmatherly]

Everyone is so right. I think we can work this out without making money the issue. I love the idea of making a list of all I do and how long it takes me-especially the hour long walk we take everyday (BTW, I've lost 10 lbs since starting to walk Pippa!! Bonus..:-)
There is just no way I could stop loving on Pippa just because Aly is around-that was silly to even suggest. I'm going to talk to her tonight-take her out to ice cream or something. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my daughter over this, and she just needs to know that I do love her more than anything and I'm sorry I've "taken over" her dog, but that somehow I fell in love with this little dog, and that won't go away. Pippa sleeps with her every night anyway, and I have never tried to make her stop that, even though I felt Pippa should sleep in her own crate at night. We need to compromise, but I'm going to insist that when it comes to Pippa's well being, I will have the last word.period.
I feel that she doesn't always think about how things will affect Pippa emotionally, Yorkies are very sensitive-and Pippa also feels the tension, and that's not good. If having her dog's best interest at heart is mean and hateful and overcontrolling on my part, then so be it.

[Figment713]

Originally Posted by eensor

Okay. PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, because I mean it nicely. This is Your house, your underage daughter, her non-family member boyfriend, and a wonderful little yorkie who loves you as her mommy. Since you take care of her needs and give her all the attention, tell your daughter to back off! You are the one in charge at your house...not your daughter and her boyfriend! I'd smack the living daylights out of my teenager who backtalked me, or snatched a precious dog from my lap, or blackmailed me with the dog. I'm from the old school! Good luck and hang tough!

This was kind of my thought. Just who is the adult here? (I did like the "smack the living daylights" line. )

[Sydney'sMom]

I think that a dog will always establish one member of the household as their favorite. Sydney is my dog (a gift from a friend) and my fiance didn't want a dog at all...but she was a gift so what could he do. Now he loves her...and she prefers his company to anyone else's. Even though I am the one who feeds her and grooms her, she still loves him more. But what are you gonna to do? I'm just happy that he loves her b/c she is still a baby and somewhat of a pain...so that would be awful if he still had the "I didn't want a dog in the first place" mentality.

Anyway...to make a long story short...Pippa has obviously chosen you as her mom...and your daughter needs to get used to that idea.

[tmatherly]

Originally Posted by Figment713

This was kind of my thought. Just who is the adult here? (I did like the "smack the living daylights" line. )

Anyone who has had a teenage daughter probably can relate. I am the adult, and I do exert my will in the situation, but it's more of an Attitude than an Action on her part. Clearly I opened myself up for judgement on this, and perhaps I'm not the perfect Teenager parent (hey anyone, let me know if there are classes-I have a 13, 16, and 17 year old-I;m at a loss everyday on how to deal) My kids are not out causing trouble, and for that I'm thankful. They are respectful to other adults at all times-something I have always felt very strongly about. Perhaps I have painted Alyssa in a bad light, which I did not mean to do. THis is practically the only conflict I have with Aly right now, which is more that I can say for most teenagers and their mother.

Anyway, I know what you mean, and thanks for reminding me to be the adult.

[txshopper73]

I know that as a mother, you want to do what is best for Peppa, but at the same time, keep peace with your daughter.

My suggestion to you would be to apologize to your daughter, not that you did anything wrong, but your daughter has very hurt feelings right now. I would apologize for the dog falling in love with me and not her. Tell her that's not how you had planned it, it just happened that way. I wouldn't throw in her face how she hangs out with her friends and doesn't spend time with the dog. That will just cause more hurt feelings and friction between you.

You need to read between the lines and choose your battles WISELY. You don't want her coming back in 10 years and have her tell you how you ruined her life because you took her dog. Believe me, it can happen.

Offer to buy her another dog. I wouldn't pay the boyfriend or her. Go somewhere you and your daughter and ask her if you could buy her another dog. One that she can pick out. One that she can call her own.

She feels cheated right now and probably thinks that you turned her dog against her and she doesn't think that she's done anything wrong.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, but that is what I would do if I were in your shoes. Do what it takes to keep peace.

Best of luck!

[yorkiegal719]

She is just being a jealours 17 year old. Remember our boyfriend years (?) she thinks that your "taking over" and that's the only way she knows how to react. You can't help it that Pippa loves you more, you spend so much time with her and dogs do know who really loves them with all their heart. So keep taking care of Pippa, if you talk to your daughter just explain the way things go with animals, maybe she just doesn't understand what needs they have. If it gets right down to it, buy her off!$$$ She'll soon realize that your not doing this on purpose, turning Pippa against her ...

[PIXIE]

You can tell your daughter if this is your dog she should start feeding (including buying the food),bathing, taking her for daily walks, etc. without any excuses about having a social life and not having time or forgotten to do it. ( Since it's her dog not yours) this will not be easy for her since you stated she is busy and there for she would have no choice to give you the furbaby without any drama because she knows now first hand she doesn't have the time to take care of her. Just a thought because she sounds a bit like me when I was young and my boyfriend bought me a puppy and my dad ended up doing everything till of course he outright refused to do everything for my dog to prove the point it really wasn't my dog anymore since I wasn't caring for him.

[centralnewyorki]

Originally Posted by SoCalyorkiLvr

I am in a very similar situation but I bought the puppy for my daughter. Amy is 17 as well and has one more year of high school. I got Chai for her for easter and she loves her to death. When we picked her up at the airport she held her first and no one else held her until later that day. I was a blubbering idiot because she was sooo much cuter than I ever imagined!

...

In your case, it's similar to a baby who is adopted by the grandparents I guess, but you don't want a strained relationship with your daughter so I would encourage your daughter to spend more time with Pippa and treat her like the responsibility she is. If she is not willing to do that then she needs to sign ownership of her over to you immediately. I think a written agreement is a great idea and the sooner the better before the situation gets worse. You are the parent and you can set up fair rules. Rules have consequences and she will know what the consequences are if ahe bresks them. At 17 IMO she should have a say in developing the contract since your job is to teach her to be responsible and at 18 you can no longer control what she does legally (she would still have to follow your rules if she is in your house, but I assume she will leave for college or something eventually).

Part of the contract might be that you will buy Alyssa another puppy when she is more settled after she moves out of your house and can be more responsible or you can pay her the money now since it was her present and let do as she wants with it.

Just some ideas. Good luck.

Kim- That's why I'm so glad you're with us! What an Easter present!! I think I got some chocolate!! LOL!

I completely agree: it would be a good idea to agree to get her a dog a little bit down the road when she's better able to care for him or her.

[Carolina girl]

Write up a list of all the things you do with Pippa - when you do them and how long it takes.
Give your daughter the list and tell her that these things are the reason Pippa bonds with you. She can do all those things to make Pippa bond with her - alas, now it is her choice

I whole heartedly agree!!!!

[kewtee]

Part of the contract might be that you will buy Alyssa another puppy when she is more settled after she moves out of your house and can be more responsible or you can pay her the money now since it was her present and let do as she wants with it.

I love that idea and maybe combined with the list idea will solve the problem right here and now