I Don't Want to take my Yorkie home just yet... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

bornnygurl · 02-13-2007, 06:06 PM

Arg, I'm so frustrated. I'm originally from New York (thus the screen name) and was planning on going back home for the summer. Well, I finally told my mother about my new baby and now all of the sudden she is trying to guilt me into coming home so she can see her. I don't want to take her home right now because she is so small (I barely take her out now as it is) and she is still working on paper training. Also my mother has a larger Cavalier that is just insane around new dogs. I know this because when I took my doxie girls he would not leave them alone! I also just know my father will have a fit about her going on her wee pads inside and relegate them to go outside or in the garage and I don't want to have her trampling out in the cold and/or snowy weather they are experiencing right now. She keeps making feel guilty saying things like "oh it would be nice to see you and your new baby for my birthday", "oh you should have told me about her sooner" etc. I don't want to go now......but she is making me feel bad......am I being selfish with my new baby?

marcerella02 · 02-13-2007, 06:38 PM

i definitly don't think you are being unreasonable... especailly if she is tiny.. i hear it is cold in new york right now! would you fly there??? if your mom insists on you going can you just go for a few days??? bring a crate... and set some rules.. tell your mom how concerned you are about her dog. i can understand your mom being so eager... she looks like a cutie.. but if your guts says don't go.. don't go.. i'm sure your mom will only be sad for a bit and will understand.

peanut · 02-13-2007, 06:41 PM

No you are not...I don't know how old you are but you have to do whats best for you & your baby...thats not being selfish....I have a 22 & 21 and yes if they had a new baby (furbaby) I would want to see it too...but I would understand...send looks of pics....

LunasMomma · 02-13-2007, 06:52 PM

So, what airplanes only fly one way?

Tell her if she wants to see her furgrandchild that she can always come to YOU

No you're not being selfish at all, I wouldn't take my baby into that circumstance either. The other dog, the weather, the no-pee-pad rule, all that would keep me away too

bornnygurl · 02-13-2007, 07:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcerella02

i definitly don't think you are being unreasonable... especailly if she is tiny.. i hear it is cold in new york right now! would you fly there??? if your mom insists on you going can you just go for a few days??? bring a crate... and set some rules.. tell your mom how concerned you are about her dog. i can understand your mom being so eager... she looks like a cutie.. but if your guts says don't go.. don't go.. i'm sure your mom will only be sad for a bit and will understand.

Oh she is not the "understanding" kind. She will guilt me about this for months. Not to get off topic but I am the baby of the family it was very hard for my parents to let me go. They are still that way and I'm 27 by the way. I had to move due to my husband's military assignment......back on topic....I would take her as carry on but she is a very nervous little girl and has never flown before. I don't think she would take the trip so well......at 7+ months maybe but not now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

So, what airplanes only fly one way?

Tell her if she wants to see her furgrandchild that she can always come to YOU

No you're not being selfish at all, I wouldn't take my baby into that circumstance either. The other dog, the weather, the no-pee-pad rule, all that would keep me away too

I totally agree with this! She can go to Florida in the summer this year but she can't come visit me and my new baby. She's only visited me twice one was for my college graduation and another was because my husband was being deployed for four months. I have gone back to NY more times than I can count. I just don't want to go....she will say I'm spoiling her too much or I'm too overprotective of her and I just don't want to go through all that. Sorry if got a little of topic! Just had to vent!

ChiliPepper · 02-13-2007, 09:29 PM

Seems to me that you are the mommmy now and you know what's best for your baby. Handle your business... they will have to deal with your decisons.

Annuta · 02-13-2007, 11:46 PM

I am 27 as well, and your mother sounds a lot like mine. I had many a difficult talks with her on variety of subjects, one of which was visiting. If it were up to her, I'd visit her every weekend. While I understand why she feels this way, it's simply impossible to do due to my work schedule and other matters. You are a grown woman and have taken on a big responsiblity with the addition of a little puppy to your family. If you don't feel comfortable bringing her to NYC (and I agree with you completely, by the way), then you should be firm and tell your mother why you won't come. Welcome her to visit you anytime she wants. It's difficult to say no to parents, especially when they use the guilt card. Good luck!

trini&coco · 02-14-2007, 12:04 AM

I just had my puppy come in by airplane with Sugar's Mom on Friday and I was told that she did not do so well. Besides the drama with mama (lol) I do not think you should take her on the plane right now either, unless it is a must. My Pixie, pee'd & poop'd & ended up vomiting on herself on her flight and she was in Cabin with Dee who was trying her very best to comfort her the entire time. I would not put a pup into a stressful situation to suit anyone and I am 26 and a mom and would expect nothing more of my children. You make your descision and she will have to understand or if you don't want to hurt her, just tell her your vet did not recommend you flying with her yet (<<<sorry, that was bad to lie to mom, but it was a white lie to protect your baby).

ChestersMom · 02-14-2007, 03:56 AM

I'm old enough to be your mother and what she's doing is ridiculous. Put your foot down now and tell her no guilt trips and no pity parties. Seems to me you have your priorities straight - stick with them.

LuvMySissy · 02-14-2007, 05:14 AM

You are definitely do what is right by your baby. If she is wee wee pad trained and is not used to being outside - this would NOT be a good thing for her, especially in the extreme cold/snow.

My new baby, Angel is not going outside as she has really not been out, except for her flight home with me. She did fine on her flight - but all pups are different. She is very calm by nature. She does start shaking when taken outside and it isn't because of the cold, it is because she is scared.

So, between a flight, a different set of surroundings and possibly going outside, I think your skittish baby would not do well at all. Tell your mom your vet doesn't recommend flying with her yet and she would need to come see you. If she really cares, she will do this. Don't let her guilt you and if she brings it up, put the kabash on it right away. Be firm. This is your life now.

margaritaville · 02-14-2007, 06:22 AM

I too am old enough to be your mother. They sound unreasonable, you baby is tiny and there is no reason to subject her to the stress involved. Potty training and adapting is hard enough without a whole new bunch of rules. Explain your fellings to her, invite her to come down and see her. THEN, if she persists white lie and tell her the vet thinks she has kennel cough and needs to stay away from other animals as it is very contagious

bornnygurl · 02-14-2007, 11:11 AM

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm sticking to my guns and not going, I don't feel like dealing with family drama (which it will be) and stressing out my little girl! But I know she won't live this down......she still brings it up things I did 10 years ago! My mother just doesn't know how to let go and I don't think she ever will.....but that is a long off topic story. She's really made me feel guilty about not telling her about Queequeg until now and not coming but now I know I'm making the right choice. I have two other dogs by the way but she was only concerned with seeing the baby. Thanks again everyone!

02-13-2007, 06:06 PM	#1
bornnygurl No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,470	I Don't Want to take my Yorkie home just yet... Arg, I'm so frustrated. I'm originally from New York (thus the screen name) and was planning on going back home for the summer. Well, I finally told my mother about my new baby and now all of the sudden she is trying to guilt me into coming home so she can see her. I don't want to take her home right now because she is so small (I barely take her out now as it is) and she is still working on paper training. Also my mother has a larger Cavalier that is just insane around new dogs. I know this because when I took my doxie girls he would not leave them alone! I also just know my father will have a fit about her going on her wee pads inside and relegate them to go outside or in the garage and I don't want to have her trampling out in the cold and/or snowy weather they are experiencing right now. She keeps making feel guilty saying things like "oh it would be nice to see you and your new baby for my birthday", "oh you should have told me about her sooner" etc. I don't want to go now......but she is making me feel bad......am I being selfish with my new baby?

02-13-2007, 06:38 PM	#2
marcerella02 Loved by Layla Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 11,257	i definitly don't think you are being unreasonable... especailly if she is tiny.. i hear it is cold in new york right now! would you fly there??? if your mom insists on you going can you just go for a few days??? bring a crate... and set some rules.. tell your mom how concerned you are about her dog. i can understand your mom being so eager... she looks like a cutie.. but if your guts says don't go.. don't go.. i'm sure your mom will only be sad for a bit and will understand. __________________ http://misscanam.blogspot.com/ Layla 's Simon

02-13-2007, 06:41 PM	#3
peanut Dogs Rule Cats Drool! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 7,895	No you are not...I don't know how old you are but you have to do whats best for you & your baby...thats not being selfish....I have a 22 & 21 and yes if they had a new baby (furbaby) I would want to see it too...but I would understand...send looks of pics.... __________________ KIM

02-13-2007, 06:52 PM	#4
LunasMomma Izzy's Momma Too! Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stuart, Florida Posts: 8,799	So, what airplanes only fly one way? Tell her if she wants to see her furgrandchild that she can always come to YOU No you're not being selfish at all, I wouldn't take my baby into that circumstance either. The other dog, the weather, the no-pee-pad rule, all that would keep me away too __________________ Tracy, Mom to Izzy and Luna

02-14-2007, 12:04 AM	#8
trini&coco Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,340	Just my 2 cents... I just had my puppy come in by airplane with Sugar's Mom on Friday and I was told that she did not do so well. Besides the drama with mama (lol) I do not think you should take her on the plane right now either, unless it is a must. My Pixie, pee'd & poop'd & ended up vomiting on herself on her flight and she was in Cabin with Dee who was trying her very best to comfort her the entire time. I would not put a pup into a stressful situation to suit anyone and I am 26 and a mom and would expect nothing more of my children. You make your descision and she will have to understand or if you don't want to hurt her, just tell her your vet did not recommend you flying with her yet (<<<sorry, that was bad to lie to mom, but it was a white lie to protect your baby). __________________ Shayley Pixie Gracie Coco Trini and Their Family We wub, wub, wub YT

02-13-2007, 09:29 PM	#6
ChiliPepper Donating YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Maryland Posts: 495	Seems to me that you are the mommmy now and you know what's best for your baby. Handle your business... they will have to deal with your decisons.

02-13-2007, 11:46 PM	#7
Annuta Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Naples, FL Posts: 57	I am 27 as well, and your mother sounds a lot like mine. I had many a difficult talks with her on variety of subjects, one of which was visiting. If it were up to her, I'd visit her every weekend. While I understand why she feels this way, it's simply impossible to do due to my work schedule and other matters. You are a grown woman and have taken on a big responsiblity with the addition of a little puppy to your family. If you don't feel comfortable bringing her to NYC (and I agree with you completely, by the way), then you should be firm and tell your mother why you won't come. Welcome her to visit you anytime she wants. It's difficult to say no to parents, especially when they use the guilt card. Good luck!

02-14-2007, 03:56 AM	#9
ChestersMom YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Bacliff, TX Posts: 947	I'm old enough to be your mother and what she's doing is ridiculous. Put your foot down now and tell her no guilt trips and no pity parties. Seems to me you have your priorities straight - stick with them.

02-14-2007, 05:14 AM	#10
LuvMySissy Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 9,333	You are definitely do what is right by your baby. If she is wee wee pad trained and is not used to being outside - this would NOT be a good thing for her, especially in the extreme cold/snow. My new baby, Angel is not going outside as she has really not been out, except for her flight home with me. She did fine on her flight - but all pups are different. She is very calm by nature. She does start shaking when taken outside and it isn't because of the cold, it is because she is scared. So, between a flight, a different set of surroundings and possibly going outside, I think your skittish baby would not do well at all. Tell your mom your vet doesn't recommend flying with her yet and she would need to come see you. If she really cares, she will do this. Don't let her guilt you and if she brings it up, put the kabash on it right away. Be firm. This is your life now. __________________ Sissy & Angel

02-14-2007, 06:22 AM	#11
margaritaville Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: west long branch, n.j. Posts: 4,457	I too am old enough to be your mother. They sound unreasonable, you baby is tiny and there is no reason to subject her to the stress involved. Potty training and adapting is hard enough without a whole new bunch of rules. Explain your fellings to her, invite her to come down and see her. THEN, if she persists white lie and tell her the vet thinks she has kennel cough and needs to stay away from other animals as it is very contagious __________________ Joan, Bubba and Sissy-BEWARE OF PUPPY MILLS breathe in, breathe out, move on -jb

02-14-2007, 11:11 AM	#12
bornnygurl No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Texas Posts: 1,470	Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm sticking to my guns and not going, I don't feel like dealing with family drama (which it will be) and stressing out my little girl! But I know she won't live this down......she still brings it up things I did 10 years ago! My mother just doesn't know how to let go and I don't think she ever will.....but that is a long off topic story. She's really made me feel guilty about not telling her about Queequeg until now and not coming but now I know I'm making the right choice. I have two other dogs by the way but she was only concerned with seeing the baby. Thanks again everyone!