It's Gettin Hot in Here.........

[txshopper73]

I got kinda offended once with a question that someone asked me. I sure wanted to jump the gun and point some other threads out to this person, but you know, I decided that it just wasn't worth it. I chose to avoid the question and went on with my business.

[tarawood]

Admin:

I never knew what the triangle thing was for. I always saw it, but never had a clue that's what it was for. I might've pondered it once or twice..... I think I wondered why everyone else had one under their name but I didn't. Guess I won't be reporting myself. LOL.

Did everybody else know we had that feature but me? Well, I will definately be using it if I see anymore threads like the ones I saw this morning. Thanks for the heads up!

Txshopper: Way to go!!

[Marie]

I didnt know what that triangle was for, either. Im glad to know now. I just hope I dont need to use it. I just hate that behavior, so when i read a thread like that I dont respond to it so I don't add more wood to the fire.
I also wanted to Congratulate Administration for a Job well done.

[WhimsicalDaisy]

I think this is a great discussion. It's unfortunate, but there are people that thrive on creating havoc on message boards. In my opinion, the best way to kill a post is for us to agree not to respond. YT moves so quickly every day that a post can get lost several pages back in no time at all. I think most people probably read the new posts, and only go back to previous pages to find specific things.

We could come up with a signal phrase, and when there's something posted that would normally escalate into ugliness, the 1st one to see it posts the signal phrase, and then we're done. Ignore the negative comments & stick to the original topic. The phrase works best if it's nonsensical, funny, etc...but has absolutely nothing to do with anything at all! It serves the purpose in a couple of ways: #1 the signal to those devoted to keeping YT friendly & supportive; #2 it changes the subject & people will start asking what that means, rather than responding to the inappropriate comments. Some examples: Don't forget the donuts; Kibbles & bits & bits & bits; Roses are red, violets are blue...; using a tagline from a commercial or product we're familiar with helps everyone remember, too.

It's HARD to resist commenting & attempting to put the "troll" in his/her place, but we truly aren't going to convert that person into not behaving this way again. Our comments back to the troll only fuel the fire & give the troll exactly what he/she wants...conflict.

If the negativity is coming from a YT regular, we should be able to accept that it's out of character, ask for a time-out if necessary, and then get back to being friends. I know if I posted something rude, I wouldn't mind being called out for it, and I'd also feel really badly if I started something that escalated out of control.

Hopefully my comments here will add to the discussion, get others thinking about possible ways to handle the problem situations, and help us all work together to keep YT the awesome place we know it is.

Edit: In all my rambling, I forgot to mention that I think YT is excellent, I commend admin on all they do for us, & not a day goes by that I don't learn something new about having a Yorkie in my life. THANK YOU ALL!!!

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by tarawood

Admin,

You guys are doing a good job moderating the forum and might I add that I really love this place! However, lately its seemed there is more than enough negative energy around here! I thought my post might draw attention to the fact that even if someone upsets you, you don't have to respond, or if you think you do, you can do so in a "less-public" manner. I have had incorrect and offending things posted about me, but have chosen to take the high road and not respond for sake of "keeping the peace" on the boards. I think others can do the same, or if you have to respond, they can do so personally (via PMs or e-mails) instead of in front of everyone else. I'm just trying to motivate others to help maintain the fun atmosphere. As far as suggestions go, perhaps there could be a button on the thread or someway for someone to easily report a post they think is heated or offensive. Just a thought.

Tarawood - I know what you mean and remember what you're talking about...tempted as I was also to stick up for you - I stayed out of it - and saw you did too.....I know it took lots of self restraint on your part - you did great not responding.

[Peanut's Mommy]

Originally Posted by tarawood

Is it just me or are things getting really heated around this forum again? It seems like I read several threads today and over the last few days where people were not so "chipper" with each other. Maybe it's that warm summer weather. Personally, I just hate to open up a thread only to stumble upon a "feud." I'm the type of person, I get so riled up reading that stuff ! Of course it doesn't help that once I see a post with a sarcastic tone, I can't resist and I have to keep reading all the responses to it. Seriously though, I hate to see the rude comments to fellow members. I know people will always make comments that upset us or do something that angers us, but some things are better off said privately in a PM or an email. Also, we shouldn't forget what our mama's used to say -- "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." Hopefully, we can all work together to continue to make YT a fun place to be.

I may not have been on here so long as others, but I agree we all are her for one reason... OUR BABIES

[scrappysmom]

WOW I MISSED SOMTHING AGAIN .

[iheartyorkies]

JMO, but the best way to give trolls what they want is to re-hash the problems. Don't reply to a bad post. The biggest slap in the face is to be shut down, ie: no one responds. It's happened to me and it hurts. It'll hurt trolls too. Silence is our best weapon. Admin had a good protocol set up. Let them do their job. They're good at it. PM them if you need to. But keep it private. I guarantee trolls watch and gleefully giggle when they see they've created havoc. They're probably enjoying this thread right now.

[Chichi]

In my opinion the easiest way to get along is not paying attention to negative people, we are all here to have fun, learn from each other and respect each ones criteria about things. If we are here for positive pourposes then when it comes to an ugly situations just let them go... dont even waist your energy responding or even getting mad at it. Move on to another thread and really enjoy the ones that satisfy you. I bearly have 1 month here and at the beginning something bothered me about a thread I cant even remember... I enjoy visiting YT so much I decided I was just going to share and learn from positive and armonious people. I enjoy being here very much!!! Have fun people!!!

[SoCalyorkiLvr]

The phrase to use is

"Don't forget the donuts!"

This means ignore the posts that are not nice and there to stir things up and just keep posting on the suject matter of the thread. Give the "pot stirrer" the silent treatment.

[Itspuppyluv]

WhimsicalDaisy suggested the idea (post 19) and I think it is brilliant. We don't have to use that one if everyone hates it but I used Don't forget the donuts on another thread because I thought it was funny and it has Don't forget in it - Don't forget what YT is really all about.

[Lady of Yorkies]

I also can't resist reading a hot posting. If I can say something helpful I will but otherwise I just read. I learned a valuable lesson when I was newly married about miscommunication. My hubby and I were talking over a cb radio and I thot I was being left out of the party, but on the other hand hubby thot he was inviting me. He didn't directly ask me to come and without seeing his face and reactions I couldn't tell without the correct words. I always try to see the other persons' side of a conversation. If something rude was said to me I tend to lean over backwards to give them the benifit of the doubt. Maybe they were having a bad day, or they just forgot to pay attention to what they were saying. It all boils down to not being able to see the other person. You can't know if they are mad or if they just don't realize the tone of what they are saying. This is my view on life. (Except when I am having a bad day! LOL) Sylvia

[jesscruz]

well as you all know earlier i got into a heated discussion with 13 yr old member, i totally agree with everyone! but i was also wondering how young some members are? i'm not saying that they shouldn't be allowed here it's just that the heated discussion i had earlier with this person was uncalled for to me on their part...especially with the personal attack on me being a mother! i'm not trying to vent in anyway or make trouble in anyway i'm just wondering what the age criteria is, i guess you can say that i'm just bothered by how young some of the members are. but now that i know what that red triangle is for i will use it when i feel i absolutely need to. but i do agree with trying to keep peace between everyone i love my yorkietalk and all the great members! pls. everyone don't take this as me trying to stir things up i just needed to ask.

[Itspuppyluv]

I think I read once that the under thirteen admin needs parents permission. There is another young person but he doesn't cause any problems and I think he pretends to be older. Talks about going to work and stuff. I think it's cute.

[txshopper73]

I agree, if I see something hot going on, I just read and don't necessarily comment. Don't want to get on anyone's bad side!