What Happened To Support, Encouragement, and Decency?

[Dina_Nichole]

Very well said and thank you for all that you do

[MissiesMommy]

I'm a newbie who some probably feel has been doling out some criticism. From my point of view, and what I've seen so far, there is an unrealistic expectation on this forum that everyone should get along. Now, I understand being respectful even when one doesn't agree with someone, but the reality is, we all have emotions. We also hold different beliefs and values, and I don't see anything wrong with a good debate so long as it enlightens (in other words, without name calling or personal attacks). Some belief systems and values carry high emotions with them, and I think it's unreasonable to expect everyone to express those beliefs with a candy sweet tone and disclaimers ("I don't mean to offend you, but...").

I am a busy person and find it easier to cut down on words when I'm trying to get a long point across. Sometimes that comes across sounding rude or critical, and it's one of those things you have to be careful when you read. I also don't feel bad if my opinion offends others, so long as I haven't made a personal attack on them ("you're a bad person because..."). I care about people, but I also recognize that while I'm taking my time to word things so someone doesn't get offended, their Yorkie(s) may be suffering or are at risk to suffer shortly. I can't stand that, so I'm gonna say what I need to say quickly and be to the point about it.

Calling people on practices that harm Yorkies will always come across as offensive because people caught doing wrong are going to be defensive. You can't expect things to be buddy-buddy when that goes down.

I think several of you have taken things wrong, too, about your Yorkies being insufficient because you don't show them or they are pet quality. Yorkies are Yorkies. I would bet that all of us here love all Yorkies, regardless of lineage. Someone telling you that you can't show or breed or that your breeder obviously didn't care about quality isn't a diss on you, it's just stating a fact or opinion. I don't tell people they shouldn't show or breed because I think their dogs are inferior to mine (which is a joke because I'm right there with the pet-quality Yorkies ), I tell them that for valid reasons that are not personal!

I've done almost everything wrong with my Yorkie. Bought her from a pet store, didn't know how to train her. Now I am educating myself and learning how to prevent others from making the same mistakes. I don't want you guys buying irresponsible bred Yorkies because I've been through the health problems with mine! And I don't want you breeding irresponsibly because I've been at the other end of that before! I just don't want others to make the same mistakes, and have the dogs suffering for it. And the Yorkshire Terrier breed is suffering for it.

So that's my .02.

[Gingergirlsmom]

lol, this may not be the best way of handling things, but when I read over my posts, if I think they might be misunderstood, I usually add a few smiley faces!

Originally Posted by DianeW

Hello
I honestly think txt can sometimes come across in a perhaps negative way, and it is often not how it is meant. We should maybe read over a little more carefully before sending, the aim being to avoid unnecessary hurt or misunderstanding. After all we all have the interests of our little babies at heart.
Take care
Diane and Little Harvey

[Grayson's mom]

Well said!

[Gingergirlsmom]

I wanted to post here just to say that I've been following a thread over the past several days that could've become heated. It was mostly responded to by "regulars" but there were a few newbies as well. I was very pleased with the way that everyone handled the thread. Every post was positive and encouraging the whole way through. Don't know if I should share what the thread was, but was really proud of the company I was keeping on that one!!!

[midnightmist]

Very well said.
I am fairly new here.I read the posts alot and call it my online magazine.I dont post alot because I dont want to offend people and I dont want to be offended myself for asking stupid questions.I tend to search my magazine instead.I know peoples views can get very heated but sometimes it is better to step back and read before you post.

[~Yorkie~Mommy~]

Very Well Said!!!

[LuvMySissy]

Newbies always make me realize just how much I've learned in my 10 months on this forum. I knew very little, other than I loved my little pup, when I joined this forum.

As with everything in life, how you get to choose how you view this forum. That can be with respect, support and friendship - or it can be with distrust, negativity and bashing. I choose respect, support and friendship.

[YORKIEMOM2B2006]

great post simonandhallie, thank you for posting it.

[FirstYorkie]

Originally Posted by simonandhallie

Maybe we should all follow a simple rule: If you question what you are about to post, step back and read it as if you were a new member and then see how you feel about it.

I, too, thank you for the reminder.

I think your advice applies to both submitting posts and to reading them. Oftentimes, posts are interpretted as attacking/insulting when they aren't intended that way.

We all need to step back, breathe, and cut each other some slack.

[magnolia]

Great post, great reminder! At some point and time, each of us stumbles across a thread that strikes a nerve or causes us to sit back and ask "what the heck?". We are ALL passionate about our furbabies, whether they are show-quality, in a breeding program, or just the family pet/lap dog (both of mine fall into this category). I don't breed nor show my furbabies (although I am proud to "show" them off to friends and family...lol) so I refrain from posts pertaining to these two topics other than to congratulate or offer encouragement - why in the heck would I post on a subject I know nothing about? Makes ME look crazy and I'm crazy enough without doing that

I think if we each realize what our own strengths and weaknesses are regarding the world of yorkies before we post a reply, topics may not go way out in left field so much and cause some hurt feelings or frustrated attitudes. As simonandhallie posted, before you hit the submit button, read over what you just typed. If it sounds offensive or hurtful to you, then it probably is. As they say in beer land, "drink responsibly", our motto should be "post respectfully". This forum pertains a wealth of information to all of us, no matter if we're a newbie to yorkies or if we've been around them for years! I learn something new all the time on this forum.

Thank you for the reminder - didn't mean to get so "wordy"...lol....but I have a habit of doing that at times! And thank you for the WONDERFUL job you do here as moderator - I definitely appreciate you

[bettyeanne]

Originally Posted by simonandhallie

I've been a member here for a long time and a moderator for a long time and I am still amazed at things that happen sometimes. I really love this forum as a lot of us do but I am constantly shocked that people will come here to start trouble, argue, debate (in an unhealthy way), criticize, judge, scam and really not think before they type.

I know that I see a lot more of it than most of you but I really want to stress that this is a free forum that provides information, a place to brag, a place to share stories and a place to find help all about the one thing we ALL have in common: our yorkies.

I am not a breeder nor do I show my monkeys but I am still aware enough to realize that those who do have a unique compassion, dedication, wealth of knowledge and love for the yorkie breed. I feel as though they receive the bulk of criticism here and most of the time it is unfair and unjust. I believe that those who breed and show should be supportive of each other, learn from each other and give encouragement. Perhaps this is a optimistic view but none the less it is a positive view.

I think that as a community we should all be respectful, inquisitive, and encouraging of each other. I really don't think that's too much to ask and I sincerely hope it starts to happen.

Maybe we should all follow a simple rule: If you question what you are about to post, step back and read it as if you were a new member and then see how you feel about it.

Wonderfully put!!! I appreciate this reminder and want to say that I personally appreciate all your hard work and vigilence! It cannot be easy to enforce the values and purpose of which YorkieTalk was founded. Thank you!!!

[BamaFan121s]

Originally Posted by Sugar's Mom

thanks for the reminder. I know that as a new breeder who has paid her dues before even starting, I also have felt belittled and been hurt by things that are just posted to start trouble. I also have been hurt because it seems the mindset of MOST of the show breeders is that, if you don't showw or as they say exhibit, then surely you don't have quality dogs and should not even be breeding. That is just plain wrong. Kind of like, " I EXHIBIT, therefore I am a better breeder and have better dogs than you".

I understand where you are coming from 100%. Fortunately, I have met show breeders from both ends of the spectrum, both on and off this forum, so I know that this is not the mindset of ALL of them.

simonandhallie~All I can say is you must be one tired lady when it's time to go to bed at night. I don't know how you and the other mods do it all!

I have done alot more reading than posting lately and have really tried to post in a less abbrasive manner. What I have found is that the line between posting your true opinion in a respectful way and coming accross as just plain rude is a very fine one. It's also very hard to sit by and ignore things that you know are posted just to offend and hurt--these posts usually are related to greater, usually childish, issues that are being delt with off the board as well that many members would probably never even recognize for the way they were truly intended. I have found it much easier to just completely avoid threads where members that I know I dislike or can't get along with are already very involved in.

I will remain, like you, hopeful that this 'era' at YT will pass soon. Thanks for the reminder and the great job you do!

[Pipersmommy]

Originally Posted by LuvMySissy

Newbies always make me realize just how much I've learned in my 10 months on this forum. I knew very little, other than I loved my little pup, when I joined this forum.

As with everything in life, how you get to choose how you view this forum. That can be with respect, support and friendship - or it can be with distrust, negativity and bashing. I choose respect, support and friendship.

I always love reading what you have to say. You are just sooooooo sweet.

[furby2000]

Three basic words to live by. I agree with you and hope most do as well.