Behavioural Problems with My Yorkie

[Toby'sMama]

Originally Posted by Annie&Badger

thankyou. i guess i'm starting to understand now that he's just more independent but i feel upset about that because i definitely wanted an affectionate dog. he's got an extraordinary pedigree - his grandfather won best in show at crufts and his great grandfather was the greatest yorkie who ever lived apparently. or something. none of that means anything to me though because i wanted a true companion dog that would snuggle up and want to be with me all the time and i was very specific with the breeder about that and she assured me that he had a very affectionate blood line. when i first saw him, he seemed very sprightly but he was fine being held and cuddled. it's just been since we got him home and he got over his first couple of weeks getting used to us. i agree with you in terms of giving him space for his own needs but had my heart set on a lovely little snuggle muffin and now i've got what amounts to just a dog

Annie -- I didn't express myself well at all -- because what I wanted you to know is that Toby is very affectionate now. He has grown up, and mellowed out (a little bit). He now will come and bug me to pick him up. It's usually still on his terms, but I can ask him to come give me some lovin' and he will give me some kisses and hugs, and then wants down again. He's a very busy boy, and has lots of things to do. Very few people can pick him up without him struggling to get down. It's not that he doesn't like them -- he just feels like he's going to miss out on something. He's not my little snuggle girl, but believe me I do get lots of affection -- and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world! I just wanted to let you know to be a little patient, let him do it at his pace, and he will just might suprise you and become your snuggle muffin. That's what I have now. He's just not a 24/7 one. It gives me time to get things done.

I've seen his pictures, and he is absolutely adorable. Personally, I'd say to give it a go. But you have to follow your heart and do what's best for the puppy, as well as for you.

Good luck in your decision.

[SnowWa]

I appreciate your concerns. Of course, we want a little pup that appears to love and wants to snuggle and be on our laps right from the start.

I think dogs (and, of course, they all start out as puppies) have different temperments. Some are much more loving and demonstrative than others. My little Yorkie is a friendly little guy who seems to love everyone. However, he is very independent and doesn't want to spend a lot of time in my lap. It seems, he'd rather be up and doing other things. However, at night, when it's time to sleep, he does want to curl up and stay close to me. And, he does run past me and play with me constantly all the time. He's the type of little puppy that runs up to everyone, is excited, and wants to kiss kiss kiss, but no one can catch him and pick him up and hold him. If they do catch him, he is very loveable, but the moment he gets loose, he's on his way doing other things.

All my dogs go beserk - excited - and happy when anyone visits or comes through the front door. They are least excited to see me because I am with them most of the time - and I supposed they are just used to having me around....so as far as they are concerned - nothing is especially exciting about me. They take me for granted.

My Bichon sounds a little like your dog. He'd much rather be across the room in his favorite chair than be close to me. It's just the way he is. He is an especially sweet and gentle dog, but is shy.

After all is said and done - I think the personality and temperment that puppies reveal at a young age is somewhat what their personality will always be. And, this isn't necessarily a bad thing - because some dogs (like people) are outgoing or shy - friendly or less demonstrative - hyper or laid back, etc. etc.

I know we all have a concept of what we want out dogs to be - but sometimes they just aren't that way at all. Dogs are all so different.

I do know that sometimes a second dog will bring the first dog around a bit. Especially if the second dog is friendly and affectionate. This somehow makes the first dog think that he is missing out on something.

Sorry - I can understand totally how you feel. But, for sure there are advantages and disadvantables to everything. Try to focus on the things about your little dog that you like and appreciate. I am sure tht even thought he isn't a "lap dog" he has some very endearing qualities.

Good luck!

Carol Jean

[Annie&Badger]

thanks carol jean. you've just made me realise something. i think i'm expecting too much from him for his age and the length of time he's been here. he's only been with me for less than four weeks and i have a feeling that he may have been 'bullied' in the litter (the day i went to see him first, he was being quite badly roughhoused by his brother) and also that the breeder didn't handle him very much. i get the distinct feeling sometimes that he's asserting himself to compensate for what he lost out in confidence earlier on. that's just a feeling i have but it's a strong one. the other thing is, i don't think that it's fair or right to expect to 'shop around' for personalities. you get what you get and i've got him now. i think what i might do is hold off on trying to get him to be affectionate so much and focus more on making him realise how much he 'needs' me. i think he may also just take me for granted a bit because i'm with him so much. in any event, i'd rather have a dog that was happy than have one that was neurotic and clingy because it was afraid. we have been talking about getting another yorkie anyway so i will keep your advice about a second one in mind. that may be a very good idea and i would be more than happy with two

thank you all so much for your advice - particularly lexi's mom and toby's mama. you have been very sweet and patient. i'm going to keep posting though to ask advice and let you know how i get along

if it doesn't all work out though and i'm still nowhere near to getting any badger hugs and kisses in a couple of months, i'm shipping him out to missouri to lexi's mom (you have been warned)

[Lexi's_Mommy]

Originally Posted by Annie&Badger

if it doesn't all work out though and i'm still nowhere near to getting any badger hugs and kisses in a couple of months, i'm shipping him out to missouri to lexi's mom (you have been warned)

Well in that case, Badger you stay clear of your mommy and you can have 3 sisters. LOL

I am so happy to hear your decision, he is so dang cute. Can't wait to hear how it's going in another week or 2... {{{HUGS}}}

[Annie&Badger]

Originally Posted by Lexi's_Mommy

Well in that case, Badger you stay clear of your mommy and you can have 3 sisters. LOL

I am so happy to hear your decision, he is so dang cute. Can't wait to hear how it's going in another week or 2... {{{HUGS}}}

hahaa!! i've just told him if he doesn't shape up with the snuggles, he's getting shipped out to missouri and he's given me the dirtiest look and gone to sleep on the other side of the room! haha!!

thankyou though and sorry i've been such a whiner tonight. i think it's all been a bit overwhelming. i feel like a mother who knows nothing about babies so you guys have been great. i'll definitely let you know how it goes but i'll also be back with even more questions. this forum is wonderful!

x

[Lexi's_Mommy]

I didn't think you were being whiney at all. You are going to be a great yorkie mommy. You have put his feelings first, and you joined YT. LOL


Good night,
Tricia

[sandraj]

It's interesting when you get a new pup--you do have expectaions about how they will be.With me it was my Holly's size--I'd hoped she would be bigger,especially when she was bullied by one of my big cats. We have settled down now at 5 months-- she has grown a bit etc. but I was very near giving her back to the breeder. However, I love her to bits and have adjusted my ideas. The telling point for me was discussing it with my 12 year old son.I didn't want him to think that I would give up on anything that didn't at first 'measure up". Yet in every other way she is my dream dog!
Puppies settle down and settle in to their enviroment. i'm sure he will do so too!

[Toby'sMama]

Originally Posted by Lexi's_Mommy

I didn't think you were being whiney at all. You are going to be a great yorkie mommy. You have put his feelings first, and you joined YT. LOL


Good night,
Tricia

I agree with Tricia... You are going to be a great mommy to Badger! And once he realizes it... you'll get your share of hugs and kisses! Just enjoy him and let him entertain you! That's the thing I love most about Toby. He is very entertaining and he makes me laugh -- a lot! Please keep us updated on how you both are doing. And, if for some reason you can't get any flights to Tricia... you can always send him to California! Toby would love to show him the ropes!

[diva pup]

Aw, I did not read all of the responses you got but dogs are like people in that they all have their own personalities.
When I went and picked up my Rio he bonded to me but not in a lap dog cuddly way. He just is not that type.In fact most of the time he is the biggest snob. I learned to appreciate the fact that he is his own little person and now every day he makes me laugh with his "I am better than everyone attitude". He is 4 now and I would not take a billion dollars for him.
Good luck with your baby.

[Francie]

Originally Posted by Annie&Badger

no, you don't sound rude at all. sorry. i know i'm coming across as really callous but i don't think i'd be doing him any favours by keeping him if he's not happy and i'm not. i've given it a lot of thought and i know a decision needs to be made soon for his sake. i know i must sound terribly selfish but i wanted a very specific kind of companion. again, it sounds terrible, but i'd be setting myself up for a fifteen year commitment to a dog i don't really want and who probably doesn't want me either. i don't know alot of yorkie people here (it's still a fairly uncommon dog in london) so i guess i wanted to find out if this sort of behaviour is normal. i guess he is just more 'independent' but that's not the dog i wanted. i don't know what would happen if i took him back though. i would be more than happy for her to keep the money but i don't know what would happen to him

Awww....he's a Beautiful pup! Perhaps he just needs more time to Bond? I don't blame you for being disapointed ....I would be very sad if my pup was not affectionate....you wanted a certain temperment...perhaps you could talk with the Breeder and see if she could match you up with something closer to a snuggle bunnie.



Francie

[RowdysMom]

Originally Posted by Annie&Badger

i agree with you in terms of giving him space for his own needs but had my heart set on a lovely little snuggle muffin and now i've got what amounts to just a dog

Well then! I guess you will just have to get a second one! Two are always better than one!!! And maybe you could find an older pup who has already shown a propensity for snuggling! There's more than one way to skin a cat! (did I just say that!) Well, you know what I mean. If you have your heart set on a snuggler, then why not get a second one - going for that characteristic, and then the little guys will have each other to keep company and you get your snuggler (hopefully)

[Rhapsody]

You might want to try a bonding excercise that our dog trainer told us to do; and it actually worked with Rhapsody. Rhapsody is very, very independent, and I kinda felt like we weren't bonding also.

I know this sounds weird, but our trainer says its almost the best thing for bonding. . . Basically it's lay quietly by your feet. You put the doggies leash on, and go sit in a chair to read (or I do it when I'm on the computer). Sit on the leash, and leave just enough slack that the puppy can lay down at your feet. At first they might cry, yelp, or jump around like crazy. But you just ignore them - don't say or do anything continue reading or whatever, don't even let them catch you looking at them -- until they finally give up and lay down at your feet. We started with just until she laid down then I would quietly praise her and give her a small treat. Now we do about half an hour a day, and I've noticed a huge change in Rhapsody. The trainer said that once the doggies just lays down on your foot, or up against your foot with her head on your foot then that's when you know the dog has bonded. I thought that sounded crazy because the poor thing was having to lay by your feet, but my trainer was right, and Rhapsody always just lays down on my foot when we are doing the exercise now.

Rhapsody follows me around constantly, and insists on sleeping by me. I notice if she's laying by someone else on the couch, and I come into the room to sit down -- she'll get up and walk over to lay by me. She's still very friendly with other people, and very stubborn, but now I know she loves me.

Hope this helps!

[Patti]

I had a male yorkie, Zorro, my first dog after I moved out of my parents house. He was very independent and then he got sick when he was 6 months old and had to stay at the vets overnight. When I picked him up from that day forward he was at my side and no one else could ever pick him up. He was the sweetest dog until the day he passed away at 12 1/2 years. i say give him a little more time. he is adorable.

[Erin]

Loki is very independent. I too wanted a snuggler, but that doesn't always happen with Yorkies. My friend has a 2 lb one that always wants to be held probably because it's terrified of the world at 2 pounds. Loki, all 9 pounds of him, is not a lap dog but prefers to sit near my feet. He likes to touch me or sleep *near* me but not on my lap. I think a lap is just uncomfortable for them. He will follow me from room to room, but if I'm watching TV he would rather be in HIS bed on the floor than on the couch with me. He does sleep with my husband and me, usually near my chest or between my legs. He doesnt like an arm around him, but he does like to be touching someone. I taught him to give kisses on command and I've put his hyper independent nature to work in obedience classes. We walk EVERY day. We play all sorts of fun games. He's done fantastic in classes and we have so much fun together. His personality is priceless, his expressions are adorable, and he is just the smartest dog ever. I guess my point is that sometimes you don't just *get* a fabulous dog - you have to work hard to help your dog get there. Please don't get discouraged!

[Annie&Badger]

UPDATE

Once again, thank you so much to everyone who responded with all the great support, advice and tips. It means a lot to me and it actually made me feel a lot better. You're all very sweet and kind and i appreciate it

After i logged off on Friday, i decided to just calm down a little and stop projecting my expectations on to him and comparing him with my friend's dog. I also thought that i needed to make more of an effort to be less of a 'leader' with him and be more close up affectionate because i've been so focused on doing everything according to the books and behaviouralists and vets and what have you. I just thought i'd go with my gut instinct. so i put him on the bed (which we don't normally do but he's so good with paper training now so i just put him on a quilt with some paper down the end) and let him sleep with me. I've now done this for a few days and i've noticed something really interesting... if i put him on the bed and he starts playing, i put him back on the floor and let him play instead because i want him to think of bed as a down time space where everyone relaxes (kind of like the sofa). If he's tired and I put him on the bed, he lies down and then after a few minutes, gets up and moves somewhere else (normally away from me). This is one of the things i thought about as being 'unfriendly' or 'distant' but it occurred to me the other night that he's 'practising' spreading out in his little world. He moves from one place to the other and then goes and lies down near the pillows, then moves to the end and then comes back and then goes somewhere else etc. He also likes spreading right out and lying spread out on his back (soo cute!!). I might be totally wrong but i think he's just exploring his little life and world and family and making himself feel comfortable. Kind of makes sense. But then amazingly, after he's done this for a couple of hours, he's started sleeping right next to me . Last night he put his head on one of my feet while I was on the computer and went to sleep and tonight he's in my lap with his head resting on my hand while I type . I'm so happy!

Also, I've realised that when he's excited he starts with the playbiting but instead of using a sharp voice with him and saying 'no!' and snatching my hand away, the last couple of days, i've just stiffened my hand and taken it from his jaws, leaned up close to him and said in a gentle low voice 'no puppy. no biting'. And then he licks me hand and looks at me and does that little licking thing! And i guess that makes sense too. He's not really doing anything 'wrong' and needs more 'guidance' rather than 'discipline'. I guess I might be wrong about that but I've noticed he responds very much to tone of voice and not what's sasid. Also, I've been taking advantage of his love for tummy rubs when he's sleeping because when he's gotten a bit boisterous, i gently flip him over and rub his tummy. So i'm making him submit but also letting him know that it can be fun (not sure if this is the right thing to do but it seems to be working in calming him down) and he's gone from biting my hands to just kind of 'gumming' them

I've also started letting him play in my lap and tonight for the first time, I was sitting in one of the chairs in the lounge and he came over and brought one of his toys to the chair and sat there for ages at my feet playing with it. I put it in my lap to let him carry on playing but he just ignored it and went to sleep. Twice today he's also kind of 'asked' to be picked up and when we went for coffee earlier, Richard was holding him outside while i went inside to get them and apparently Badger cried the whole time I was in there (not that i'm happy about that as such but i'm glad he missed me!)

So! I think I might have been jumping the gun a bit. At the end of the day, he's still my puppy and it's okay for him to be himself. The best thing I can do is let him know that I love him and that he can love me back without any problems. I feel really pleased with myself! I know there might be setbacks but the last couple of days have been really positive and I think it's just a case of him being a slightly shy puppy who's actually got a really big personality