UPDATE
Once again, thank you so much to everyone who responded with all the great support, advice and tips. It means a lot to me and it actually made me feel a lot better. You're all very sweet and kind and i appreciate it
After i logged off on Friday, i decided to just calm down a little and stop projecting my expectations on to him and comparing him with my friend's dog. I also thought that i needed to make more of an effort to be less of a 'leader' with him and be more close up affectionate because i've been so focused on doing everything according to the books and behaviouralists and vets and what have you. I just thought i'd go with my gut instinct. so i put him on the bed (which we don't normally do but he's so good with paper training now so i just put him on a quilt with some paper down the end) and let him sleep with me. I've now done this for a few days and i've noticed something really interesting... if i put him on the bed and he starts playing, i put him back on the floor and let him play instead because i want him to think of bed as a down time space where everyone relaxes (kind of like the sofa). If he's tired and I put him on the bed, he lies down and then after a few minutes, gets up and moves somewhere else (normally away from me). This is one of the things i thought about as being 'unfriendly' or 'distant' but it occurred to me the other night that he's 'practising' spreading out in his little world. He moves from one place to the other and then goes and lies down near the pillows, then moves to the end and then comes back and then goes somewhere else etc. He also likes spreading right out and lying spread out on his back (soo cute!!). I might be totally wrong but i think he's just exploring his little life and world and family and making himself feel comfortable. Kind of makes sense. But then amazingly, after he's done this for a couple of hours, he's started sleeping right next to me
. Last night he put his head on one of my feet while I was on the computer and went to sleep and tonight he's in my lap with his head resting on my hand while I type
. I'm so happy!
Also, I've realised that when he's excited he starts with the playbiting but instead of using a sharp voice with him and saying 'no!' and snatching my hand away, the last couple of days, i've just stiffened my hand and taken it from his jaws, leaned up close to him and said in a gentle low voice 'no puppy. no biting'. And then he licks me hand and looks at me and does that little licking thing! And i guess that makes sense too. He's not really doing anything 'wrong' and needs more 'guidance' rather than 'discipline'. I guess I might be wrong about that but I've noticed he responds very much to tone of voice and not what's sasid. Also, I've been taking advantage of his love for tummy rubs when he's sleeping because when he's gotten a bit boisterous, i gently flip him over and rub his tummy. So i'm making him submit but also letting him know that it can be fun (not sure if this is the right thing to do but it seems to be working in calming him down) and he's gone from biting my hands to just kind of 'gumming' them
I've also started letting him play in my lap and tonight for the first time, I was sitting in one of the chairs in the lounge and he came over and brought one of his toys to the chair and sat there for ages at my feet playing with it. I put it in my lap to let him carry on playing but he just ignored it and went to sleep. Twice today he's also kind of 'asked' to be picked up and when we went for coffee earlier, Richard was holding him outside while i went inside to get them and apparently Badger cried the whole time I was in there (not that i'm happy about that as such but i'm glad he missed me!)
So! I think I might have been jumping the gun a bit. At the end of the day, he's still my puppy and it's okay for him to be himself. The best thing I can do is let him know that I love him and that he can love me back without any problems. I feel really pleased with myself!
I know there might be setbacks but the last couple of days have been really positive and I think it's just a case of him being a slightly shy puppy who's actually got a really big personality