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01-28-2006, 07:14 PM | #1 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
| How long does it take for them to get over a loss? Today my daughter said dada, and I repeated it, and Graice went nuts. She wined for a good 45 minutes. In March, my husband left us abruptly. I woke up, found a note that he had left us and that was it. The same day Gracie got violently ill and had to be hospitlized. For the two months before we moved, she waited for him, everyday, in the same spot. If she heard a noise, she thought it was him and would go crazy. Every night before going to bed, she checked his side of the bed and and did the same every morning. I finally gave her his pillow and she still sleeps on it everyday (it has been washed plenty of times). She slept with one of his shirts for a while before I snuck it away from her. He showed up at our doorstep in July. Gracie saw him through the window and almost busted through it. He came by almost everyday for 2 months. (I was 7 months pregnant when he left). He evacuated with us for Katrina and when we got back he left again and we have not seen him since. Gracie seems to be still mourning him. How long does it take for them to get over a loss? She was 10 months old when he left the first time, they had an unbelieveable bond. He brushed her everyday and gave her people food when I was not looking. They took naps together almost everyday, he would lay on his side and she would curl up against his bare chest. They loved each other so much and then poof, he was out of her life. She seems to be still be waiting for him. It breaks my heart. He will never be in her life again, ever, not even for a visit. How do I even begin to help her heal? What can I do or say to her? Any advice is greatly apreciated... |
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01-28-2006, 07:41 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I am so sorry. I think time is the only thing that will help. Maybe you can set up new routines for just you and Gracie. I know it may be hard with a little child but if you can do something special with her even for 5 minutes a day maybe that will help. Good luck
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
01-28-2006, 11:30 PM | #3 |
Loved by Maddie & Libby Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Dakota
Posts: 10,732
| What a heartbreaking story for you and Gracie. I am so sorry for all you've been through. *HUGGGGG* I don't really know what to say about Gracie being depressed over his absence. Bless her little heart and I hope time heals the pain for you and Gracie!
__________________ Custom doggie dresses and vests Memory is a country where I can go to see your face - but where do I go when I miss your embrace? |
01-29-2006, 03:56 AM | #4 |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | OMG I'm SO SORRY....He's really put you thru the ringer and poor baby....I don't know what to tell you except MAYBE get her a little friend ? IF you aren't in the postion to get another yorkie...maybe a shelter dog ? That way she'll have someone to take her mind off her missing daddy.....With a new baby coming I wouldn't advise getting a puppy... but maybe a little older dog ? Then again - that may be too much with a baby coming too.... GOOD LUCK to you and I hope you have a very healthy baby....I can't believe men sometimes.. I wish you all the best. |
01-29-2006, 05:33 AM | #5 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 26
| I'm so sorry for what you have been through and will pray that your heart and Gracie's are healed. This doesn't compare but a few months ago we lost our little Bunny. Bunny (an actual rabbit) was loose in our yard and would play with Scruffy everyday....they were the best of friends...one morning I found him dead...Scruffy wined for over an hour and for at least a month she would go looking for him every chance she got. She was really sad but we did our best to keep her entertained...she seems better now...we try to never say Bunny's name around her...the few times we have she looks up and starts looking for him...it's amazing, they do remember....the best advice I can give has already been given....build new routines for Gracie....I friend may be of help but I know that can be difficult with a new baby and all. Let's not forget that you are also in pain...maybe you and Gracie can be each other's theraphy. It sounded like he was close to her but there's no reason you can't build the same routine and companionship that he had with her. Hugs. Yaremis |
01-29-2006, 06:27 AM | #6 |
Moderator Emeritus Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Tontitown Arkansas
Posts: 4,909
| Reading this just broke my heart. I am so sorry for you, your family, and Gracie. May all your hearts heal soon and find peace.
__________________ ~~**~~ Schatzie and Ransom ~~**~~ |
01-29-2006, 06:35 AM | #7 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I am sorry for everything your family has gone through. I would try to get another yorkie if you can. I have two and they keep each other company.
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
01-29-2006, 07:06 AM | #8 |
Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: May 2005 Location: Missouri
Posts: 248
| I am so, so sorry for you, your family and your little Gracie. I agree with those that said time will heal, and possibly getting her a little friend that she can bond with and ease her missing her daddy so much. I think it's just like us when dealing with a loss, time and putting our focus on other things really heals wounds or at least makes them easier to deal with. I'll be thinking and praying for you and Gracie. Please keep us updated on how she's doing.
__________________ Carrie & Isabella Kelli - 1995-2005 - Always in Our Hearts, Babygirl. Bella's Dogster Kelli's Dogster |
01-29-2006, 08:21 AM | #9 |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 484
| Thanks to everyone. Time was what I was afraid of. I have been struggling over the decision to adopt another yorkie. I even posted a thread about it a week ago. What is stoping me is money, I really can't afford another one. I am leaving that up to God and fate. If I am ment to get another one, then he/she will come to me. Gracie and I have a new routine that we have followed everyday since September, but she still mourns. The vet has her on double the dose of Clomacalm at the moment. Both Gracie and my daughter have been my driving force through all of this. I am lucky to have my two beautiful girls! Thank you to all for the advice and Hugs!!!!
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01-29-2006, 08:33 AM | #10 |
& Bailey & Bella Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Ohio
Posts: 8,164
| I'm sorry for your pain,and your poor baby. I think time is the answer, like with anyone. But also agree with Villette, maybe another animal, to distract Gracie. Maybe even a kitty from a shelter, ( I know cats are easier and cheaper, and maybe Gracie would be the care taker to a little kitty) I know cats and dogs can form quite the bond together.
__________________ Rhonda, Bailey, Josie and my angel Bella Rue' "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~Anatole France~ |
01-29-2006, 08:45 AM | #11 |
Double Trouble Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: FLORIDA
Posts: 4,658
| I am so sorry to hear about your family situation, believe me time heals all wounds. Isn't it amazing how human-like they are? You cannot help loving them. They are truly man's best friends!
__________________ PEBBLES AND SASHA MY DOGS ARE NOT SPOILED...I'M JUST WELL TRAINED! |
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