We are unsettled

[tesswood5]

Hello to all of you.This is a very difficult thing for me to write, but I had a Yorkie for nearly 17 years she died last year, and my sister got me another Yorkie who is 6 years old and my husband cant stand her he is no animal lover she has spent a week with my sister although she was pining I got her back yesterday and the joy I felt was indescribable i love her so much now me and my husband are not speaking any information greatly appreciated.

[barneysmommmy]

Uggg. I'm so sorry you are in this situation. My husband and I have had a few tiffs over yorkies. Do you think it will get better over time?

[Mayzoo]

Was your hubby around for the other yorkie or was she pre-marriage? If he was around, how did he do with her? Maybe he is scared to get attached?

[Maximo]

Sorry to hear you are in this predicament. Is there anything specific that your husband does not like about the dog? If there are specific things, that would help in recommending solutions.

[dinkster]

When my DMIL lost her beloved poodle after 15 years, her daughter went out and got a beautiful poodle puppy and surprised her with it. My MIL was very angry. She wasn't ready, really did not want another dog. So my SIL had to find a new home for the puppy.
Getting a pet is a huge decision. He should be able to make that decision too.
It can be hard to understand how anyone would not want to replace a beloved pet with another to love, but I believe that should be respected.
I think both partners have to agree on having a pet, replacing a pet or any scenario.
If he had agreed to a get a new dog and changed his mind, that would be one thing.
My DH has said that he would want another dog if Dinky were gone, and I don't think I would. I would be beyond livid if he brought one home without asking me.
Personally, in the situation you describe, I would tell DH that it would hurt like anything to give up the new dog, but you will respect his wishes. He has to be part of the decision. It is his home too.

[Jkpal]

Perhaps you could show your husband how happy you are with your new little girl and that she makes a positive difference overall...Maybe make a few special meals, give him a backrub while watching tv...Things that relate positively with your pup and hopefully time and her cute little self will ease his attitude. I don't know (not married or living w/anyone), but I know my big ol' guy friend was a bit iffy about Pipe--not dislike, but not a fan---that is until Piper worked her magic...looking at him with those big brown eyes, resting her head on his arm; lemme tell ya, she got to him in no time and just yesterday I came home to a phone message from him for Piper...He was telling Piper he'd be seeing her soon and he'd give her plenty of belly rubs! I swear these amazing little Yorkies truly have a gift when it comes to winning hearts. I truly hope everything works out for all of you...

[gemy]

Originally Posted by tesswood5

Hello to all of you.This is a very difficult thing for me to write, but I had a Yorkie for nearly 17 years she died last year, and my sister got me another Yorkie who is 6 years old and my husband cant stand her he is no animal lover she has spent a week with my sister although she was pining I got her back yesterday and the joy I felt was indescribable i love her so much now me and my husband are not speaking any information greatly appreciated.

That is a toughie' situation wise. When you say he is no animal lover, did he grow to love your Yorkie of 17years? If so, and most especially with an adult dog - it might be hard for hubby to see this new one as a dog he could grow to love.


I know when I lose a dog or for that matter a cat - it is about two years before I can contemplate another wee life in my own. I grieve - and in the early stages of my grief - I just can not add another animal into our household. Your hubby might be where I would be at this stage.


Definitely time for some honest sharing between the two of you. Try to understand what hubby's issue is with the wee lass, and see if there is a way to mitigate this.


You want the best for your family - and that includes your gal. And sometimes - that might be as hard as it would be - a re-homing of your gal.


And to speak to what an earlier poster mentioned - I would want nobody to buy a dog for me. That is my and my husbands decision as to when and which dog we bring home for a 15yr commitment.

[Yorkiemom1]

Good luck...this is a situation I have never had to deal with! Good luck....it would be better for you to not have a pet, than have a pet that your husband hates and possibly mistreats.

[JadeD]

I do wonder how your husband felt about the past dog. Maybe he will grow to love this one.

Who takes care of the dog? If you take full responsibility for the dog maybe you can sit down and talk to him and ask him that if you take 100% responsibility for the dog if he will allow it to stay.

I have a Yorkie that I am the only one in the house that really loves the dog. My son just pretends he is not there unless he is being bad and then he will tell the dog to stop. My daughter will let the dog with her once in a while, but he will steal food off her plate so not while she is eating. My husband puts up with him okay but no one in the house will take him outside except me. I think other people in the house have taken him out a total of 3 times in the 10 months I have had him. You can almost always find him curled up with him. I adore this dog and so everyone just lets me take care of him and pretend he is not there and for me and the dog it is fine. I give him enough love for everyone in the house. I can eat my dinner with this dog on my lap and he would not dare take my food off my plate.

My husband has a dog that the rest of us tolerate. I have to be the main caregiver of him as my husband holds a full time job while I am a stay at home mom, so I try not to complain. I do ask my husband to walk him in the evening sometimes. I guess because we tolerate each other's dogs it works for us. The puppy we recently got is half his though and oh man does my husband love that puppy. He has told me for over 20 years that he didn't like little dogs and then we got this puppy and that puppy has his wrapped around his finger!

The puppies are loved and adored by everyone in the house. My older dog knows that I love him though and so he is fine with just being my dog. He will not eat if I am not at home. He just sleeps and waits for me to come home.

I think you should sit down and talk to your husband and discuss what he doesn't like about the dog. Agree to take full responsibility for the dog (if you are able) and ask him to please tolerate the dog because you love the dog so much. Good luck. I am glad my dog does not create problems in our marriage.

Good luck, I hope you end up with a happy ending!

[ironmike86]

Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1

Good luck...this is a situation I have never had to deal with! Good luck....it would be better for you to not have a pet, than have a pet that your husband hates and possibly mistreats.

Yup you both need to be in.

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by Yorkiemom1

Good luck...this is a situation I have never had to deal with! Good luck....it would be better for you to not have a pet, than have a pet that your husband hates and possibly mistreats.

This is where my thoughts went as well. I'm worried if the hubby mistreats the yorkie when no one is around if he dislikes her *this* much . I so hope not.

To be totally honest, if my husband 'hated' any dog....*any* dog whatsoever, I'd be questioning what the heck he was all about as a person...to be really frank about it. It would cause me to question everything about his character. I just cannot imagine having hate for a dog, or being married to someone who does.

What does "hate" about this little innocent kiddo...?

[matese]

Many, many, many moons ago lol when I was married, my husband was ok with me getting a dog, he was NOT a dog person. My very first dog as an adult was a mini Poodle. I was working full time but every spare minute I had I spent with my Gigi training her. Gigi was first with everything, first to eat, first to have her needs met. We were boaters at this time and Gigi always came boating with us. She was my 2 y/o toddler and like a toddler I watched her like a hawk. I had her about 1.5 years, my son who was then 10 y/o one day said to me, mom, you care more for Gigi then you do me lol, my husband agreed with my son saying yeah and me too, I told both of them, hey, when you are thirsty, you get yourself a glass of water, or soda, when you are hungry you open the frig and help yourself to food, when you need to go tothe bathroom you open the door and go. This is a DOG, she cannot get her own water, she cannot open the frig and feed herself, and when she needs to pee and poop she has to WAIT to do that. So YES the dog comes first. My husband was jealous of all the attention I lavished on this girl, but, come Saturday’s he was insisting he was taking her to work with him lol, we would always fight, me saying nooooo, him saying yessss lol, So Saturday’s she was his girl. She was very well behaved, well trained. JMO… maybe your husband was jealous of the time you spent with your past baby, and doesn’t want to go through thatagain, some men are funny that way and would never admit to being jealous over a “dog”. A dog is like a human baby, they need OUR time, attention and love. I have no suggestions, no advice on how to convince your DH to accept this precious little baby. I could/would NEVER advise anyone to not be devoted to their pets. Yorkies DEMAND attention, NEED human contact, I do hope you and DH can work this out, I do hope you can keep this little girl. As women when our children are grown and cannot be cuddled orhave moved from the nest we still have that mothering instinct and need/want to hold and cuddle, I do hope your DH can realize this and not deprive you of fulfilling your needs. On the other side of the coin, dogs also can hold ppl back from doing many things, this can be another reason your DH is not happy having another fur butt join your family. (((hugs))) I pray things can be worked out.

[mybellababy]

Well I am a bit the other way on this. I think your hubby is being a bit selfish. I have been married 39 years and not everything I have done has made him happy and the other way around. You had a dog for 17 years you waited a year before another came in to your house. As long as there isnt any other reasons like the dog is pooing and peeing ever were or barking it's head off ( and these things can be addressed ) I think you have every wright to have the dog. Just dont expect any help in raising and love the baby, that all your pleasure.

It would be nice to know a little more about is dislike for the dog.

[ironmike86]

Its different in my house. Dogs always have water Theres pee pads for emergency. But my wife and I come first. They will sit an wait quietly
Till we are done eating. They always walk behind us. I was taught to teach them that. That is proper behavior. They never dart out the door. They never run ahead. They are very well trained. They get everything they want and all the attention they can handle also. A trained dog is going to be a safe dog