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In other words: I can't believe you = I'm capable of believing you, but I can't in this case. Whereas: I don't believe you = I'm incapable of believing you, therefore, you're a liar. |
Personally I think there are many ways to word things and get our point across without coming across as rude or uncaring. Yes we all have our own way of posting and yes we all interpret the written word differently. Even when raising my children I tried to speak to them in a calm manner and get my point across to them. On the occasions when I would be at the boiling point and say things to them in a loud, or what they perceived to be a rude manner, I could literally see them blocking me out. All that did was make them upset and angry and me more angry. I also try to do that with everyone else. Am I perfect? Absolutely not I am human and have to apologize for a lot of things I say and do in life and here. For instance, when I use the words (I was raised to) I am speaking of how I was raised and not how you or anyone else was, be it good or bad. So if those words did offend anyone here then I do apologize because they were never intended to say you had bad raising. |
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And so the discussion ensues between the longer term members. It is very interesting to me. I am strongly reminded of a neurosurgeons quote; We are more different on the inside of our brains then we can ever be on the outside of our bodies. The reception of language and in particular written language, as that is what we have to work with here, is subject to so many variables of reading comprehension, regional differences in expression, never mind country differences, that it is rather amazing we can communicate effectivey at all. It is a sobering note, a thought to keep in mind, as we respond to posts. |
I would like to ask a favor of everyone as I'm learning here and via PM that perhaps some members really do not know what is considered "inappropriate"....let's post examples of what we think is an inappropriate way of saying things. Let's not argue whether anyone is right or wrong....just post whatever you think, personally. Let's see the variety we get.... For me it's stuff like: -You're ridiculous -You're a bully -What you posted is ridiculous -You should be ashamed of yourself! -You should not even own an animal! -What you're doing is horrible. -You need to work on your comprehension skills. -Maybe you should go back and read the thread as you clearly haven't! -Maybe you should leave this thread if you don't like it. -You're rude. -You're just wrong. -You clearly don't care about this dog. -You should not be breeding in the first place. -You should work on your grammar. -I'm putting you on ignore. |
You need to work on your reading comprehension skills/been said to me Anything about grammer bothers me Im sure there are more but Ann has covered alot still thinking |
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Blowing out another person's light will not make yours shine brighter. |
I think thee word rude is overused I would truly rather see someone say your not being nice than rude because rude has been used to encompass anything someone deems to be unappropriate when sometimes its not inappropriate it is just how they are comprehending it |
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I may be alone on this but the thing I see on the forum that tends to create derailed threads is repetitiveness directed at one person. If a poster says something that another disagrees with or needs clarification on it starts with the two posters, then there are two, then three, and sometimes four members saying essentially the same thing over and over when the issue was already being addressed by the first poster... |
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I love to see a good debate but quickly lose interest and heart when members begin behaving like virtual children. To me, name-calling and losing patience to the point of being rude while in a discussion or debate shows a personal lack of ability to otherwise resolve the conflict with their reasonable thoughts and words and says as much about the member personally than any words they use. At some point one must accept others are just not going to see things their way, no matter how "right" that person feels they are and use some restraint before they strike out verbally in some sort of verbal vengeance. Most adults find ways to disagree without resorting to more teenage tactics of using zingers, taking verbal potshots and making hurtful statements and if they are not able to do so, should simply walk away from the thread for a while. To stay and post their ugly feelings may help that poster feel powerful at the moment but isn't really helping this wonderful forum or those who love it. |
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