whining, barking....Fiance is not happy
 

So I know this if my first post but I'm really desperate at this point to try find a solution for my current issue with my yorkie. Back story is that Mia is about 4 yrs old. I got her when she was a puppy, i'd say around 6 months or so. I was living at home with my parents still and went ahead and house trained Mia. I also got her because my grandmother lived with us and thought hey what better company for my grandmother than a little puppy and also because I fell in love with the Mia when I first saw her. She learned to use pee pee pads and eventually would just go to the bathroom where her pad was and do her thing on her own. Here's where the bad habits come into play. Since she was a puppy I tried crate training, unsuccessful. So since then she had been sleeping in either my bed or my grandmothers bed. Never caused any issues obviously and while I was at work she had someone to keep her busy during the day.

Fast forward to December 2012, my fiance and I purchase our first home. It's a 2 level townhome. My fiance was very adament that if the dog came with us that she wouldn't be allowed on couches or into our bed. I agreed, since these aren't habits I would like to continue being i'm sharing a life, a house and a bed with someone and want to respect her wishes being it originally is my dog after all. So we mutually decided to put her in our downstairs coat closet with a wall gate that has a door. I prop the door wide open every night and the closet is very roomy especially for her size. I would say the space is about 3 ft wide by 6 feet long. At the back of the closet I put her pee pee pads to keep them away from her bed. She's had this bed for the past 2 yrs i'd say. I figured in order to avoid a total shock it would be good to bring things to the new house that she would recognize, so the bed and all the liners she had before came with as well as the wall gate I used at my parents house.

So in order to try to get her adjusted to the "new" process we started putting her in the caged area every night, she has food and water in there as well. Also some of her old toys in there as well. Trying to keep as much as she would remember and feel comfortable with in that caged area. In the beginning she would whine a little on some nights and others not at all. When she would whine or bark I would walk out of the room onto the landing and yello no, she would stop. Then maybe half hour later start up again and I would yell again. Certain nights she would keep doing it so it got a point I was in and out of bed so many times I would go downstairs and repremand her, smack her on her bottom and say "NO!" to try to reinforce that it's not good behavior.

Now the past week she has been non stop whining leading to barking. The yelling from the landing doesn't seem to work anymore. Going down and repremanding her doesn't work. This morning pushed me more than ever. She just keeping doing it and I got about 3 hours of sleep total because she wouldn't stop and nothing I did worked. Now my fiance is really upset about it as well because it's affecting her sleep as well which in turn affects her health.

To give you some additional details about the schedule these days is she is mainly home alone for a very large part of the day. Main reason being is due to the time of year and we are both accountants. We work very long hours. I'm out the door by 7 am and my fiance is out by 8. Neither one of us is home before 9 pm on any given weeknight. I know this doesn't help the situation but work is work. As soon as I get home I let her out, put her in the bathroom with a pad she does her business and I let her run around the house to get some exercise. She follows me around the house and I play with her. My fiance and I will watch a little tv and Mia wants attention so i'll put her on my lap and she'll be perfectly fine, with the exception of late. Even on my lap she's been prone to whine a little so i'm totally confused as to what to do to try to get Mia used to the new house and new pattern on things.

Anything i've come across related to this issue has been with puppies 8 months or less. Given Mia is older than that i'm wondering if something can be done differently or did the 4 yrs of past behavior become permanent? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!!

I will diplomatically leave this to others that can offer solutions. Please, just let me say one or two little things and dont get offended or your feelings hurt....my heart is breaking for this baby girl. She adores you, and for 4 years, she has been an appendage on your body. Now, she has been religated to a downstairs closet. Her heart is broken.....and she is crying for you....and you are responding to her cries for you, by yelling and repremanding her, even spanking her (THIS gives me chest pain!!). Please dont spank this baby...she is broken hearted that you have obviously abandoned her....she KNOWS she is going to get "kicked to the curb" when it is lights out, so even as she is glued to your lap, she is tearful and whining, knowing she is going to loose you again, any minute. Now here is where you may want to stop reading.....
I am 64 years old and have had men come and go.....I have NEVER had a dog abandon me, no matter how bad things got. Your finace is a human, an adult, and is capable of reasoning and has a sense of time,.... past, present, and future. If I was in your situation, (and this is going to send YT'rs screaming and yelling at me), I would be trying to reason with the ADULT in my life, that is "new" to this little family situation, rather than that pup. I can honestly say, with NO regret, I have never, nor would I ever, allow anybody I was with, to come into my life, and start dictating changes and restrictions on my behavior with my pets, that were there BEFORE they were. Now, we can try to keep pup off the furniture, but if I am sitting on the furniture, that pup is welcome in my lap. We can try to keep pup from sleeping with me, but I will not beat my dog over this....because I can assure you of one thing, sweetie.....if it EVER gets down to the nitty gritty in your life, that PUP will NOT leave your side....that fiance.....I would not bet the ranch on it. Just give that theory a trial run and insist the pup be allowed to continue to sleep with you....................has fiance left yet??? If not, good, she got over it and pup is back with her owner, sleeping peacefully, watching over you....if she left....well I told you she wasnt up to the "hard" times!

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one thing to think about, even if you let her sleep in your bed, things might not change because more than just the sleeping arrangement has changed. This is why I have never been big on kids living at home with parents, siblings, and in your case grandparents owning a dog because eventually they move out and often not into a situation that is best for the pet. In your case when you move out, you not only changed some of your established habits but you took her away from other people in her life that she has bonded with. Also you said you are in a townhouse do you have a yard now, did you have one before. All this affects the dog. I suspect that she was also not alone as much as when she lived with you at your parents house either. So this brings me to a suggestion that you might not like, if your parents and grandmother are willing and able to care for her it might be best for her to be back at their home. It sounds like your finance does not care for animals so that would probably help your relationship as well. Good luck hope you all can work it out

Your dog isn't getting enough exercise and activity.

If I understand correctly, she is also going up to 12 hours or more without a potty break.

Her lifestyle has completely changed. Dogs who once had more freedom usually do very poorly when suddenly caged.

Please do not spank your dog. It doesn't teach your dog anything. I'm sure she is very confused right now.

I understand work and life responsibilities, but you also have a responsibility to care for this dog. If that is not within your means right now, I recommend re-homing her. That would be thee kindest thing you could do.

also by getting up and going to her and yelling and even smacking her is attention, at this point the dog wants attention and so you are giving it to her, that is most likely why the crying and barking is getting worse. The more that I think about it the worse I feel for this little one, she spends probably 85 to 90% of the day either alone in your home or penned up and kept away from the person she loved for the last 4 years. I really think you owe it to her to let your grandmother keep her. What was your grandmothers feeling when you took her to your new place.

OP, please read and reread this and consider and believe every single solitary word of it! Please.

Could you also please describe what your dog's 24 hour day consists of - what its life is like timewise - how much time the dog spends doing this or that? I think we can probably help you but we really need to know the way your dog spends all of its time. It can be an excellent guide for how to help the dog.

Great post, you said this so much better than I could. All I can say, is to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever hit a dog. When you get a dog for whatever reason, it is your reponsiblity to care for it until it dies, if you can't provide a good home for it anymore, because you need to please your fiance, you should find someone who can. If your fiance won't compromise with you on this, I think you should probably look for someone else, but if that's not an option, please find a good home for you're little Mia.

bringing her back to your parents home is still my best thought but another thing you could try is to purchase a metal crate and put it on your side of the bed at least she would be near you and could see you at night. If you have a two bedroom townhouse perhaps you finance would be adult enough to use it during the transition period. That's what we used to do with Lola, and when I first got her I slept in the guestroom with the crate next to me until I was sure she would be quite at night so my husband could get his badly needed sleep.

Please keep in mind when you read our posts that we are not being mean, it's just the active members on Yorkie Talk are very devoted to their dogs, LOL that is why we spend so much time here talking about our dogs, posting pictures of them and spoiling them rotten. For most of us our dogs come first or at least are equal memebers of our household. I know not everyone out there feels like this so it is a challenge when you get involved with someone that is not a dog lover.

in defense of the OP I don't think they are beating the dog, I think she said smack or wack, I envision a little wack on the butt, not that I think it is a good idea just differnt than beating and spanking.

I appreciate all the responses but let me clarify and it might be a case of lost in translation or my wording, I don't beat the dog but a little tough love yes. I've had dogs my entire life and cared for them. My fiance didn't demand these things, we had talks and mutually agreed that the habits she was used too I wouldn't like in our new home. So yes I agreed to no sleeping in the bed and on the couches solo. Mia comes upstairs with me when i'm in our bedroom doing whatever.

Yes she was attached to my grandmother who gave her all the attention she needed but another reason why I brought her to our new home is because mom and grandmother moved to florida. Well you would say then send her to florida? My mother had a very serious and frank conversation about how she loves the dog but cannot accept the dog in florida with my grandmother. To my mothers' defense as much as my grandmother loves the dog she taught Mia very very bad habits. If she didn't see Mia eat her food she would automatically assume something was wrong and start hand feeding her food. Mia got used to this and i'm sorry but that is not behavior that any animal should be used too. My grandmother also would let long periods of time go and not put Mia in the bathroom to do her business. She's a small dog and needs to go more often that bigger dogs. So consequently she would pee or poo in the house. I can't blame my mother for not wanting those things in her brand new home. Yes we have all spoken to my grandmother about the dogs bad habits but someone who is in their 80's normally just doesn't wake up one day and changes their ways. Also at my parents house, she was house trained due to the association cracking down on dogs Mia wasn't allowed outside on the porch or things like that. I had to physically take her with me to a local park or for car rides so she could get out. I don't want anyone thinking I had the dog sheltered for the past 4 years. Yes I know she's very close to me and I adore the animal that's why I refuse to give it up. I'm just really trying to start breaking these old bad habits. At my new home we have a porch are allowed to have animals but since I live in the northeast it's been very cold not to mention the late hours at work, not really ideal conditions to try to break more habits and get her outside more. I let her out on the patio and she runs around. Once the warmer weather comes up I'm going to bring her outside daily is possible and even more so so she can interact with the other dogs in the neighborhood. We are usually home on the weekends and I try to give her as much attention as possible. As it was mentioned before she isn't allowed on the couch solo but when we are sitting on the couch I do put her on my lap and pet her, she normally relaxes and/or falls asleep. I also understand she is home alone for a major part of the day but it's mainly due to the time of year it is and my profession, so that's why I try to do as much as I can with her while i'm home and go to bed myself. Like I mentioned before i'm just looking for suggestions on how to try to help break these habits and get her used to that caged in area as her sleepy area. I was looking at people saying even if you repremand the animal they are still seeing a physical presence of you by the whining, so instead use a can filled with some pennies or a small newspaper rolled up and tap the cage as methods to try to teach the dog that when she hears the can or the cage that she's doing wrong. So again i'm open to suggestions.

I don't think the OP needs a defense; I'm not hanging him/her. I assume they think what they are doing is correct, and I'm here to tell them that it's wrong type of treatment, not to tell them they are a horrible person. I don't care what you call it, it's still hitting a dog and it should never be done. If it doesn't hurt, why do it? It senseless! If it does hurt, you are teaching the wrong lesson and could easily hurt their spines. Dogs that have been taught using corporal punishment learn to be aggressive; the human's hands should never inflict pain. Punishment stops a behavior only temporarily, but it often comes back with a vengeance and with many side effects.

Again just to clarify my fiance is not giving me an ultimatum that the dog goes or she goes. Trust me I found my soulmate, the relationship is going to end because of Mia. I would bet the ranch and everything I own on that. In any case like I've said i'm trying to break old habits of hers and looking for help so she can get used to a new style for her in our new home that's it.

To answer your question, every morning I wake up do my thing get ready and head downstairs. Once I head downstairs I immediately let Mia out, tell her to go potty and she runs into the bathroom with a pad i've laid out for her already and she does her business. She's already adjusted to the new layout of the house and where she goes to the bathroom. I finish getting my things together before I leave for work, i'd say about half hour. During this time she's running around, following me and I like to play with her for about 10 minutes before I leave the house. I'm out the door by 7. All depending on the way the work day goes I'm home anywhere between 8:30-10:00. My fiance is normally home anywhere between 9-10:00 (we both have the same profession). Regardless of who is home first, first thing I do is take off my jacket, let Mia out and tell her to go potty. She does have a pad in her caged in area which she normally does her business during the day if she has too. I wouldn't expect any animal or human to hold it in for that long. So she does her business in the bathroom, I clean up and proceed to get settled and comfortable till I go to bed. During this time she's following me around the house upstairs or downstairs, sits in the bathroom while I shower and then I try to watch a little tv to relax the brain after a long day. Normally between an hr to an hour and half. Normally during this time she's grabbing her toys and I know she wants to play so I play with her for a few minutes, she eventually gives up on the toy and wants on my lap so I pull her into my lap, relax till I go to bed then it's lights out for everyone, which ends up being around 12:30ish.

Nancy I don't think you said beating, to me beating is so much worse than a smack or a a wack on the butt, and you are right and like I said it's not good either. But I know I would be insulted and angry if I said I gave Lola a wack or a smack on the butt and then someone accused me of beating her. Maybe I think of it differently than others do, but I don't think of it as beating. Perhaps using the same word as the OP did would keep it simple and less room for interpretation and hurt feelings.

I feel so strongly about this, I imagine they used the word beating because they were upset, I'm literally shaking and I know this type of thread affects others like it does me. Dog are not built like humans, so while some people think a smack to a baby fat butt is okay, (I don’t) it's not the same, dogs rarely have fat butts and you can do injury, serious injury. I've read the studies, and corporal punishment, is not an effective way to modify behavior or to discipline. Perhaps beating isn't the right word, but I want people to understand a smack or a wack is WRONG!!!!!!!!

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: Said much more eloquently than I could have said.

I too see where this has been a drastic lifestyle change for your little one...and I agree...I think puppy is crying for your attention. There is a reason why yorkies are called a Velcro dog....they LOVE ADORE LIVE FOR being beside their human.

1. Spankings taps yelling is likely not going to work...she is getting the attention she is craving. And truly...it isn't teaching a dog what he is or isn't suppose to do

2. Have you thought of doggy day care or seeing if there is a neighbor willing to watch her for the day?

3. She needs to be active/played with so she gets tuckered out!

4. Have you thought about getting an ex pen and setting it up in your bedroom?

5. I so would try talk to your significant other and see if sleeping arrangements can't change...my bf was adamant NO DOG IN THE BEDROOM...one year later...we have 2 yorkies a husky and 2 cats in bed...I never have to worry about being cold on a Minnesota winter night. :)

6. Think about re-homing if you can't give her the attention she needs!

She loves you and she wants you...that's all she is asking for...good luck...I wish you and your little one the best!!!

Perhaps to a dog a whack on the butt from the person it loves when it is just trying to call its pack to be near it at night might psychologically be almost as damaging as a beating. He's likely totally perplexed and unsure of why it happened and why he's ostracized from his pack at night. Hitting a dog in any form can make an insecure dog fearful of the hitter and humans in general.

As pack animals, canines instinctively want to sleep near or on pack mates for security and comfort from other predators. They are usually quite uncomfortable alone nights unless taught over time to go against that instinct. They aren't nocturnal animals and usually like to spend the dark hours curled up securely within the sleeping perimeter of their pack and often changing positions for additional security and comfort. If you watch feral dogs or dogs in the wild, they seem to be cognizant of the fact that some dogs have poor smell, others poor hearing or low night vision and frequent changes of sleeping positions can take better advantage of each's strengths and keep the whole pack more secure as they rotate positions for a full perimeter watch during darkness.

Since we are stewards of our dogs and we are responsible for their health, happiness and security, to hit one for trying to answer his deepest instincts to me is like spanking a dog for pooping in the house when it cannot get outside. If you want to go against your baby's desire to cuddle down near its pack to sleep, you will probably have to do it in slow increments of giving that baby a secure sleeping quarters quite near to you - starting right beside your bed and gradually and slowly move its crate away, foot by foot, over a long, slow time period of weeks or months. I personally let my dog sleep right with me and just change the bedlinens frequently even though my dog is fully housebroken and always clean.

Don't forget - posting your dog's 24 hour schedule will help tell us about other ways to suggest helping it to be happier and calmer, more contented pet while still having a lot of its basic needs met.

I have responeded however my posts need to be approved before they can be seen. Is this the norm for newer members?

Yep...that is the norm...shouldn't take too long. After a new person posts a certain number that stops....by the way...welcome to yorkie talk!!!!

I can honestly imagine how frustrated this OP is.....trying to please the pup and the fiance too. His frustration is boiling over with little Mia, because Mia is the one making all the noise and keeping the house awake all night. I used the word "beat" because that is what it was in Mias mind....not a pat or a tap or a little sweet smack....Mia is taking offense at the way she is being treated....Poor OP is really trying to acclimate poor Mia to a new family situation and I am certain he is frustrated....and just wait until "fiance" starts chewing on his ear about his little Mia....he is REALLY going to be frustrated.....and I do want to point out one little thing, some of us down here in the South refer to "beat" as a spanking...like when OUR mother used to say, "I am going to beat your butt", you knew that meant spanking and not drawn and quartered or publically given 40 lashes with a wet leather whip! When she was going to do THAT, she would tell us, "I am going to tear your a$$ up!" And it really is easy to swat, swipe, tap, pat, smack, spank, ...whatever the politically correct term is.....a little Yorkie butt and cause damage to little hips and hind legs, UNINTENTIONALLY. So I want to make it absolutely clear to the OP, before any well intentioned people start disecting out words and building a fire under OP's butt with them, I was not accusing him of animal abuse by imprisoning Mia, or beating Mia, etc. I just want to ask him to please dont repremand the little dog with "laying his hands in a threatening manner" on her little butt. Is THAT politically acceptable?

yes sadly that is true, if you want see if you can PM me with what you wanted to say and I will post it for you, I have seen new posts held for almost a day and I know people would love to help you sooner than that.

So 3 hours of the day she is unconfined and has company....I won't comment on the spankings or address the changes or habits that could be corrected...quite frankly you do not have enough time to own a dog. Not now. She deserves more.

Correct me if I am wrong...but is this schedule basically January to May? Due to tax season? If so...I would strongly suggest daycare even if its just during the time you are this busy...or at the very least a pet sitter who can come into your home once or twice a day to spend time with her...might be worth a shot if you have that type of service in your town/city.

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That was my first thought, too---the other stuff notwithstanding. This poor dog has NO life! And that really isnt okay.I know you love her, but unless you can meet HER needs too, the kindest thing would be to re-home her to someone who can meet her not insubstantial needs.

I Agree this post
 

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Well said Yorkiemom1. And I might also add, I am of the same age and have been a trainer since the 1970s. Hitting is never OK with Yorkies. It only makes them fearful and heart broken. She will forgive you, you are her world, her hero. Please never hit her again. Thank you for asking for advice. I am sure you don't want to crush her spirit.

All I will say is I am praying for little Mia and the OP. Hope a good solution is worked out soon. Others have given great advice so I really can't add anymore. Welcome to YT.

You are trying soooooo hard....and the bolded sentence above is my attempt to perhaps soothe any ruffled feathers I may have given YOU! I am from South Texas, and down here, we often use the term "beat" , and it is NOT like physically abusing the poor dog. Another poster suggested "whack"....to ME, you use a stick, board, or belt to "whack" something....so see it truly is a case of "lost in translation"! I am thrilled you did not feel like we were attacking you, and have you disappear with your feelings crushed and all offended....I am not a trainer, and I sleep with 5-7 dogs in my bed every night....it would break my heart to hear one of my babies crying out for me and me not able to go get her and bring her to my side. I always tend to take the dog's side in a disagreement where a significant other is involved....I can understand you and your fiance have jointly agreed to do these changes....but I will continue to be hopeful that Mia ends up with you back in your bed, where she has always been.....put fiance in the coat close.......NO! I AM JUST KIDDING!!!!!!!!