Please Help! Yazmin's A Total Wreck!!!

[YazminD]

Please help me with the best solution for my baby, I'm sure she's suffering from separation anxiety.

Yazmin just turned 2 a few weeks ago and I thought at first she may have been going through the "Terrible Two's" stage like children but now I'm really worried!

Now that I've returned to work since my stroke a few months ago and have been working 3 and sometimes 4 days, Yazmin's become a mess!
I normally only work on Saturday's but have committed to at least 3 days for the next month or so.

Yazmin's alway's been blocked off in my kitchen where she has a bed in a nook area, toys, a TV always on the Animal Planet station, along with her food & water.

I came home 2 weekends ago to find she had destroyed (shredded) a throw rug, "I didn't care, was just thankful she didn't swallow the threads", her bowls were flipped over, and she had drug her bed out of the nook area! I removed the throw rugs out of the kitchen from that day on.

The next weekend, As soon as I got home from work and stepped out of my car, I could hear her crying, not barking, actually crying! I couldn't get through my back door fast enough, I was sure she was physically hurt, she wasn't but she was shaking, panting, a whimpering.
I picked her up immediately but then realized she had taken a piece of kitchen tile in a corner, ripped it up off the floor and broke it up into several pieces! Horrified that she may have swallowed tile or digested glue, I got down on the floor and was able to lay it all back together like a puzzle! I laid the tile myself quite a few years ago so I could tell the glue was completely dried up, but I stayed up all night watching and worrying about her. She had thrown her bowls and bed out of place again also.

This past weekend, my BF stayed home with her to her company and to keep me from worrying.

Yazmin has a large cage with an orthopedic bed in it and a cover for the cage but I've never caged trained her. She just lays in it when she feels like it. I think at this point, she'd be much safer in the cage in the kitchen. My BF thinks that if I cage her, she'll even be more traumatized with all the changes.

I'd like to get her a Thundershirt to see if it will help her with the anxiety but I'd like to know if anyone has left their dog at home alone, wearing one?
Yazi wears clothes all the time but I've always removed them when I leave home for safety reasons.

I'm so sorry for the long post but I'm so worried for Yazmin. I'd really appreciate everyone's opinion whether I should put her in her cage and if you think she'd be okay alone, wearing a Thundershirt.

[yavenay]

I hope you get some help for the little one. I feel so bad for her. Poor baby. It seems like she is worried that you won't come back. I saw a segment on Victoria Stillwell that dealt with this very issue. The dog was so scare the owner wasn't going to come back home.
So she had the owner start with baby steps. She would have the owner leave for a few minutes at a time and the gradually increase the time. Once the dog realized the own was coming back, her separation anxiety slowly began to dissipate. If you go to her website, I'm sure you can find something.

I put a webcam on Brandi and in the beginning she went through it although not as severely as your little one. Once she got used to my schedule she was find. Now she when I leave the house for work, she is sound asleep.

[rubymoon2072]

have you left something that smells like you for her to lay on while your at work maybe leaving her a radio playing or tv so she hears familiar sounds. i hope you find a solution..i take it a babysitter would be out of the ??

[Hrossen11]

Have you thought about getting her a variety of dog puzzles to keep her mentally stimulated while you are gone.

[horsnaround]

Originally Posted by rubymoon2072

have you left something that smells like you for her to lay on while your at work maybe leaving her a radio playing or tv so she hears familiar sounds. i hope you find a solution..i take it a babysitter would be out of the ??

[yorkietalkjilly]

This is really long and wordy but it is from another post about a male dog. You might find all or part of it helpful in your girl's case. Sorry for the run-together words from copy/paste:

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to itget nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take allemotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take awalk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving,just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it.But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to eachstep. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short andimpersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over witha
big,loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing withit, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over,giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go butdon't.

After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in hisdirection, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Standthere 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, nomatter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kongtoy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outsideto let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but docome back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be backand he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toysor kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming inthe house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home,inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit inthe same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once youhave sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play andreward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have ablast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, tugowar, etc. Happy, happy rewardsfor his efforts are definitely in order!
If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns ananxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready to go when we get home.

I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as inTamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well withyou as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewardingfor him.

[Yorkiedaze]

Your boyfriend is right, don't shut her in a crate. She would be even more traumatized and could easily do damage to her teeth by trying to chew her way out.
Make sure she has lots of running, walking to tire her before you leave. Take her on a long walk.
You could use one of these Comfort Zone® Plug-In for Dogs | DrsFosterSmith.com to help her.
Buy a beef femur bone, (about 1 inch) boil and remove marrow and leave that with her. She can't splinter or eat it, but it's a good chewing aid.
If you have a CD player, then buy some solo harp CD's. It's been proving it even calms the salvage beast.
Put one of your T-shirts (after you have worn it and not washed yet) in her bed.
Then if possible, have someone come halfway into her stay, to take her on a long walk or lots of play outside for at least 1/2 hour.

yavenay has a valid point about training her a little time alone by leaving for only a couple minutes and slowly increasing the time. On the times she doesn't cry, reward her with a tiny snack. It takes time to get them adjusted to new life styles, but it can be done. Good luck with your baby.

[Maximo]

Carla, I am so sorry to hear that Yazmin is having trouble adjusting to you working more. I'm sure it is twice as hard right now with the winter weather keeping you from enjoying outdoor time and walks. Worrying about Yazmin is stressful for you, which is bad when you need to care of your own health.

I agree with the suggestion above to give Yazmin something safe with your scent on it. I give my boys my cotton tshirts that don't have tags or buttons or other hazards.

I also agree that crating Yazmin would probably make matters worse and she would be likely to harm herself or stress herself to the point of making herself sick.

I know the conventional training wisdom is as Jeanie quoted to ignore the pup when you leave and return. However, I think it works better for my boys to have a goodbye in which I use keywords to let them know how long I will be gone. They know the difference between "back in a minute" or "back in a little bit" or "back in awhile." We also have a good greeting when I return.

When dad was in the hospital, that was the first time Teddy has ever been alone. Max had been alone once for about an hour. I was panicked about leaving them. Granted, they have each other, but 2 dogs is not a guarantee that neither will suffer separation anxiety. I set up my computer camera to record them while I was gone and thankfully they just stayed in their beds and waited.

If you can record Yazmin to see if she is upset the entire time you are gone or if it is only when you leave and when she anticipates that you will return (dogs are really smart that way, as you know they know they have great internal clocks), that might help you find a solution. Maybe a brief visit from your boyfriend would help, so that he wouldn't have stay the whole time.

I used my Macbook camera (thank you Sarah for the suggestion!) which allows you to watch the video in fast forward mode.

You could also try an oral calming aid like Rescue Remedy. I will ask Jodi which one worked for one of her babies who has problems. She tried a few.

I will also try to think of some other suggestions to keep Yazmin safe.

[YazminD]

Originally Posted by yavenay

I hope you get some help for the little one. I feel so bad for her. Poor baby. It seems like she is worried that you won't come back. I saw a segment on Victoria Stillwell that dealt with this very issue. The dog was so scare the owner wasn't going to come back home.
So she had the owner start with baby steps. She would have the owner leave for a few minutes at a time and the gradually increase the time. Once the dog realized the own was coming back, her separation anxiety slowly began to dissipate. If you go to her website, I'm sure you can find something.

I put a webcam on Brandi and in the beginning she went through it although not as severely as your little one. Once she got used to my schedule she was find. Now she when I leave the house for work, she is sound asleep.

Thank you for the advise on leaving her for short periods at a time and Victoria Stillwell's site as well. I will definitely be checking out her site this evening.
I have an iCam on my cell phone and have checked in on her many times in the past to only find her sleeping also. I think she just got so used to me being home with her these past few months, she's stressing out now I've been leaving her daily.

Originally Posted by rubymoon2072

have you left something that smells like you for her to lay on while your at work maybe leaving her a radio playing or tv so she hears familiar sounds. i hope you find a solution..i take it a babysitter would be out of the ??

I have always left a TV on for her when I leave but I never thought of leaving a piece of my clothing. Thank you, I'll leave one of my shirts out for her.

Originally Posted by Hrossen11

Have you thought about getting her a variety of dog puzzles to keep her mentally stimulated while you are gone.

Actually I just either saw or heard of the dog puzzles this past week somewhere. I do leave her with all her favorite toys but the puzzles sound very interesting! Thank you.

[kjc]

I'm sorry to hear this news... thinking PTSD from when you first had your stroke and left her for what a week or more? She may be experiencing something worse than separation anxiety, thinking a behaviorist/trainer might be needed or getting someone to sit with her. Maybe taking her to work with you (have your BF bring her back home) to show her where you're going when you say "going to work". Maybe call her while you're at work so she can hear your voice (while the BF is there with her to start so he can see her reaction)

Then my other issue with this situation is: Are you fully recovered? (you don't have to answer this) Just thinking from her point of view... some dogs can sense illness in their humans... so if there are any doubts go get checked out by your doctor.

[YazminD]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

This is really long and wordy but it is from another post about a male dog. You might find all or part of it helpful in your girl's case. Sorry for the run-together words from copy/paste:

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to itget nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take allemotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take awalk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving,just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it.But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to eachstep. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short andimpersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over witha big,loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing withit, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over,giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go butdon't. After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in hisdirection, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Standthere 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, nomatter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kongtoy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outsideto let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but docome back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be backand he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toysor kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming inthe house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home,inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit inthe same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once youhave sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play andreward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have ablast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, etc. Happy, happy rewardsforhisefforts are definitely in order!
If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns ananxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready to go when we get home.
I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as inTamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well withyou as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewardingfor him.

Thank you Jeanie for finding this post, I found it very helpful. I will have to learn to apply a lot of these techniques and quickly.
I feel horrible, I set Yazmin up for failure to be alone. I am that person who's always felt bad when I leave her and we go through a whole greeting ritual when I return. She's my baby.

Originally Posted by Yorkiedaze

Your boyfriend is right, don't shut her in a crate. She would be even more traumatized and could easily do damage to her teeth by trying to chew her way out.
Make sure she has lots of running, walking to tire her before you leave. Take her on a long walk.
You could use one of these Comfort Zone® Plug-In for Dogs | DrsFosterSmith.com to help her.
Buy a beef femur bone, (about 1 inch) boil and remove marrow and leave that with her. She can't splinter or eat it, but it's a good chewing aid.
If you have a CD player, then buy some solo harp CD's. It's been proving it even calms the salvage beast.
Put one of your T-shirts (after you have worn it and not washed yet) in her bed.
Then if possible, have someone come halfway into her stay, to take her on a long walk or lots of play outside for at least 1/2 hour.

yavenay has a valid point about training her a little time alone by leaving for only a couple minutes and slowly increasing the time. On the times she doesn't cry, reward her with a tiny snack. It takes time to get them adjusted to new life styles, but it can be done. Good luck with your baby.

Thank you for your advise Yorkidaze. I didn't consider the fact that Yazmin could damage her teeth or really become more upset. I was thinking that the cage would have a more calming effect on her, feeling like she would feel safe like a cave. I do have a CD player in my kitchen and Solo Harp CD's also. I'll start playing those tomorrow while I'm home with her verses the TV. The Comfort Zone Plug-In for Dogs looks very interesting, I'm going to order one. I'll trying anything that will possibly help Yazi.

Originally Posted by Maximo

Carla, I am so sorry to hear that Yazmin is having trouble adjusting to you working more. I'm sure it is twice as hard right now with the winter weather keeping you from enjoying outdoor time and walks. Worrying about Yazmin is stressful for you, which is bad when you need to care of your own health.

I agree with the suggestion above to give Yazmin something safe with your scent on it. I give my boys my cotton tshirts that don't have tags or buttons or other hazards.

I also agree that crating Yazmin would probably make matters worse and she would be likely to harm herself or stress herself to the point of making herself sick.

I know the conventional training wisdom is as Jeanie quoted to ignore the pup when you leave and return. However, I think it works better for my boys to have a goodbye in which I use keywords to let them know how long I will be gone. They know the difference between "back in a minute" or "back in a little bit" or "back in awhile." We also have a good greeting when I return.

When dad was in the hospital, that was the first time Teddy has ever been alone. Max had been alone once for about an hour. I was panicked about leaving them. Granted, they have each other, but 2 dogs is not a guarantee that neither will suffer separation anxiety. I set up my computer camera to record them while I was gone and thankfully they just stayed in their beds and waited.

If you can record Yazmin to see if she is upset the entire time you are gone or if it is only when you leave and when she anticipates that you will return (dogs are really smart that way, as you know they know they have great internal clocks), that might help you find a solution. Maybe a brief visit from your boyfriend would help, so that he wouldn't have stay the whole time.

I used my Macbook camera (thank you Sarah for the suggestion!) which allows you to watch the video in fast forward mode.

You could also try an oral calming aid like Rescue Remedy. I will ask Jodi which one worked for one of her babies who has problems. She tried a few.

I will also try to think of some other suggestions to keep Yazmin safe.

Thank you Kristin for all the suggestions, I know how stressed you were over Max and Teddy when your Dad was in the hospital, I really felt bad for you and was then glad to hear they only slept and laid together.
I now feel that same stress over Yazi. She's always been calm in the past and seemed to only be sad while I was in the hospital but never destructive until now. I just don't want her to become so stressed in the next 6 weeks or so that she starts harming herself in some way. I know it's going to be very hard to try and ignore Yazmin when I leave for work but I'll start trial runs with her tomorrow to see if I step out more frequently, she'll calm down.
I'm only 2 1/2 blocks away home and because everyone at work have seen Yazmin get upset randomly throughout the day on my iCam, I've been able to leave work and come home for a few minutes to play with her and give her a treat. We thought this would help Yazi but the minute I shut my back door, she starts the crying and will try to destroy her bed and shove her bowls all over the kitchen again!
Funny, she doesn't do this when I first initially leave. I just tell her to be a good girl and I'll be back later, she'll go to her bed and lay down as to say "okay".

I'm still thinking a Thundershirt might be helpful and I'd love to know more about the oral calming aid also. I'll google the like Rescue Remedy to see what I come up with.

[MishyMish]

I hope you find a solution and am interested on how all of this advice works out for you.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Once she's learned to not be anxious when you leave and can settle into a routine of sleeping and patrolling the house while you are away, you can start to resume your normal wonderful greeting celebration. The training is only to get a dog past the anxiety of being left alone.

[YazminD]

Originally Posted by kjc

I'm sorry to hear this news... thinking PTSD from when you first had your stroke and left her for what a week or more? She may be experiencing something worse than separation anxiety, thinking a behaviorist/trainer might be needed or getting someone to sit with her. Maybe taking her to work with you (have your BF bring her back home) to show her where you're going when you say "going to work". Maybe call her while you're at work so she can hear your voice (while the BF is there with her to start so he can see her reaction)

Then my other issue with this situation is: Are you fully recovered? (you don't have to answer this) Just thinking from her point of view... some dogs can sense illness in their humans... so if there are any doubts go get checked out by your doctor.

Thanks kcj, I'm glad to see someone else is thinking what I've been thinking. I didn't want to sound like I was some type of "Nut Case" but I do believe this all started out mildly while I was in the hospital. My BF would come to the hospital, looking so sad because Yazmin wasn't eating and playing very much while I was hospitalized. The last 2 nights he called my room and put me on the speaker phone so she could hear my voice. I could hear him laughing and he would tell me that she was perking up and licking my home phone. I know one of my nurses thought I was crazy because she knew I was talking to my dog! Lol
I work in a restaurant and have walked Yazmin there a millions times to spend time with the girls in the break area. It's a bldg. that sits in the back parking lot. My BF has breakfast there on weekends, maybe I'll have him just bring her in his car, let her see me go in without her and ask him how she reacts.
You're right, I know I'm still not 100% well yet and only returned back to work to help out the staff who are short handed right now. It's been very hard on me and I'm exhausted. Yazmin senses that and will stay in bed or not move from my side all day long!

[yakkwak]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

This is really long and wordy but it is from another post about a male dog. You might find all or part of it helpful in your girl's case. Sorry for the run-together words from copy/paste:

Most anxious dogs that aren't used to itget nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take allemotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take awalk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving,just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it.But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to eachstep. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short andimpersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over witha
big,loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing withit, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over,giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go butdon't.

After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in hisdirection, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Standthere 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, nomatter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kongtoy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outsideto let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but docome back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be backand he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toysor kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming inthe house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home,inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit inthe same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once youhave sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play andreward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have ablast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, tugowar, etc. Happy, happy rewardsfor his efforts are definitely in order!
If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns ananxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready to go when we get home.

I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as inTamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well withyou as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewardingfor him.

The above is a good description of systematic desensitization!!! Google it. It's very simple. Think in terms of successive steps that approximate the desired behavior (your goal). Canis lupus in the wild predominantly live in family units, unless food is scarce. Then temporary packs are formed for the purpose of hunting to increase odds of success. Domestic dogs have developed an even stronger need for affiliation (and with humans). You are like the parent in this family unit and your baby is fearful when you leave as personal confidence in its ability to handle what life may throw its way has not adequately developed. Very small steps with your leaving for successively longer periods alows this confidence to build. Sounds gross and sweet at same time, but my Liberty has actually dragged more than one of my nightgowns and a couple of sweaters to his bed. When I come home, I find he's wound himself up in them!