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Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly  This is really long and wordy but it is from another post about a male dog. You might find all or part of it helpful in your girl's case. Sorry for the run-together words from copy/paste:
Most anxious dogs that aren't used to itget nervous and anxious when their owners leave the home. Firstly, take allemotion out of your leaving. Do not feel sad for him or tell him goodbye - just like pack leaders in the wild don't when they decide to go on a hunt or take awalk - they just walk away and nobody freaks. They are impersonal and matter-of-fact in how and what they must do. So no emotional goodbyes or hello's when arriving home. Act like a pack leader. Your dog is a pack animal and is genetically in tune with a firm but fair leader. As far as your actual leaving,just slowly desensitize him to your leaving and soon he will come to accept it.But you must desensitize him to it slowly and allow him to adjust to eachstep. Be patient with that baby - his anxiety can be overcome with time and patience and knowing what to do. Keep your training sessions short andimpersonal, matter-of-fact. (You can reward him once each exercise is over witha big,loving play session and lots of loving hugs, kisses.)Give him a lovely food-stuffed kong toy, sit down and watch him playing withit, take up your keys and purse and whatever else you do as if to leave home and sit back down and just watch him. Don't go anywhere. Just sit there. Now this is key: keep repeating this for a day or two on a weekend over and over,giving him different things to chew on or play with as you get ready to go butdon't. After a day or two of this, when he's playing with his kong and has accepted your getting your things together, get your keys/purse, watch him for a while then get up and without saying one word to him or looking in hisdirection, just like an alpha wolf who acts in its pack without question from one of his pack members, walk out of your door outside. Shut it. Standthere 10 seconds and walk back in, DO NOT NOTICE HIM AT ALL, nomatter how he's dancing around your feet or whining in joy, put your things away and sit back down where you usually sit when you watch him with his kongtoy. Repeat this over & over and keep increasing your times outsideto let him learn slowly that though momma goes out the door, she will be back and I'm really okay. Slowly but surely as you stay out longer and longer but docome back in, he'll have grown to accept this action as inconsequential in his life and soon grow to accept your leaving without thinking a thing of it -he'll know he gets a good thing to play with and some good food, momma will be backand he'll accept it. B4 long, he will just accept your leaving without any toysor kongs or anything. After a while, include getting in the car in this training exercise, even starting it up and getting right back out and coming inthe house without noticing him. Repeat repeat repeat - sitting in the car awhile with it running. Eventually, drive around the block and then back home,inside, not noticing your dog and putting your things away, coming to sit inthe same place on the couch where you always sit during this training. Once youhave sat there a while after each training session, now it is time to play andreward that anxious baby who is learning to be a goooood dog so now have ablast with him. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, etc. Happy, happy rewardsforhisefforts are definitely in order!
If you are patient enough to do this, it works EVERY SINGLE time and turns ananxious, crying dog into one that accepts leaving as just a part of his day.They soon learn to adjust their day to sleep while we are away and be ready to go when we get home.
I would also start him on a good positive-rewards training program such as inTamar Geller's The Loved Dog book. This will teach him to bond well withyou as you develop a strong relationship that he will not question, no matter what as he knows momma is always gonna keep it fun, loving and always rewardingfor him. |
Thank you Jeanie for finding this post, I found it very helpful. I will have to learn to apply a lot of these techniques and quickly.
I feel horrible, I set Yazmin up for failure to be alone.
I am that person who's always felt bad when I leave her and we go through a whole greeting ritual when I return. She's my baby.
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Originally Posted by Yorkiedaze Your boyfriend is right, don't shut her in a crate. She would be even more traumatized and could easily do damage to her teeth by trying to chew her way out.
Make sure she has lots of running, walking to tire her before you leave. Take her on a long walk.
You could use one of these Comfort Zone® Plug-In for Dogs | DrsFosterSmith.com to help her.
Buy a beef femur bone, (about 1 inch) boil and remove marrow and leave that with her. She can't splinter or eat it, but it's a good chewing aid.
If you have a CD player, then buy some solo harp CD's. It's been proving it even calms the salvage beast.
Put one of your T-shirts (after you have worn it and not washed yet) in her bed.
Then if possible, have someone come halfway into her stay, to take her on a long walk or lots of play outside for at least 1/2 hour.
yavenay has a valid point about training her a little time alone by leaving for only a couple minutes and slowly increasing the time. On the times she doesn't cry, reward her with a tiny snack. It takes time to get them adjusted to new life styles, but it can be done. Good luck with your baby. |
Thank you for your advise Yorkidaze. I didn't consider the fact that Yazmin could damage her teeth or really become more upset. I was thinking that the cage would have a more calming effect on her, feeling like she would feel safe like a cave. I do have a CD player in my kitchen and Solo Harp CD's also. I'll start playing those tomorrow while I'm home with her verses the TV. The Comfort Zone Plug-In for Dogs looks very interesting, I'm going to order one. I'll trying anything that will possibly help Yazi.
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Originally Posted by Maximo Carla, I am so sorry to hear that Yazmin is having trouble adjusting to you working more. I'm sure it is twice as hard right now with the winter weather keeping you from enjoying outdoor time and walks. Worrying about Yazmin is stressful for you, which is bad when you need to care of your own health.
I agree with the suggestion above to give Yazmin something safe with your scent on it. I give my boys my cotton tshirts that don't have tags or buttons or other hazards.
I also agree that crating Yazmin would probably make matters worse and she would be likely to harm herself or stress herself to the point of making herself sick.
I know the conventional training wisdom is as Jeanie quoted to ignore the pup when you leave and return. However, I think it works better for my boys to have a goodbye in which I use keywords to let them know how long I will be gone. They know the difference between "back in a minute" or "back in a little bit" or "back in awhile." We also have a good greeting when I return.
When dad was in the hospital, that was the first time Teddy has ever been alone. Max had been alone once for about an hour. I was panicked about leaving them. Granted, they have each other, but 2 dogs is not a guarantee that neither will suffer separation anxiety. I set up my computer camera to record them while I was gone and thankfully they just stayed in their beds and waited.
If you can record Yazmin to see if she is upset the entire time you are gone or if it is only when you leave and when she anticipates that you will return (dogs are really smart that way, as you know they know they have great internal clocks), that might help you find a solution. Maybe a brief visit from your boyfriend would help, so that he wouldn't have stay the whole time.
I used my Macbook camera (thank you Sarah for the suggestion!) which allows you to watch the video in fast forward mode.
You could also try an oral calming aid like Rescue Remedy. I will ask Jodi which one worked for one of her babies who has problems. She tried a few.
I will also try to think of some other suggestions to keep Yazmin safe. |
Thank you Kristin for all the suggestions, I know how stressed you were over Max and Teddy when your Dad was in the hospital, I really felt bad for you and was then glad to hear they only slept and laid together.
I now feel that same stress over Yazi.
She's always been calm in the past and seemed to only be sad while I was in the hospital but never destructive until now. I just don't want her to become so stressed in the next 6 weeks or so that she starts harming herself in some way. I know it's going to be very hard to try and ignore Yazmin when I leave for work but I'll start trial runs with her tomorrow to see if I step out more frequently, she'll calm down.
I'm only 2 1/2 blocks away home and because everyone at work have seen Yazmin get upset randomly throughout the day on my iCam, I've been able to leave work and come home for a few minutes to play with her and give her a treat. We thought this would help Yazi but the minute I shut my back door, she starts the crying and will try to destroy her bed and shove her bowls all over the kitchen again!
Funny, she doesn't do this when I first initially leave. I just tell her to be a good girl and I'll be back later, she'll go to her bed and lay down as to say "okay".
I'm still thinking a Thundershirt might be helpful and I'd love to know more about the oral calming aid also. I'll google the like Rescue Remedy to see what I come up with.