Need to vent

[yorkietalkjilly]

If it were me, I would go live in a shelter with my son before I live like you have to live, poor thing. No one should live like a second class citizen, and you and your son are. You do have other options - reach out to a woman's group, get yourself some counseling and find yourself a better life than this. This is a far bigger issue than dog poop. It is your self-esteem and your choice as a woman to stand up for yourself and your child that is at stake.

[gracielove]

Being a wife does not make you a piece of property. By law half of everything your husband has is yours (including the trains.) If you don't have it in you to stand up to him then you should consider the advise to get some council. The dog is in a very bad situation but so are you.

If you choose not to keep Snickers please give her to a Yorkie rescue and don't let her be passed from home to home anymore.

[LILBIT1]

Well the next time you go to the restroom and find the seat up, or pee on the floor id demand your husband leaves! How terrible. He has too much control. Thats sickening.

[LILBIT1]

Originally Posted by lillymae

If my DH EVER said I had to get rid of ANY of my pets, he would be OUT the door. And there is Always somewhere to go.

Amen!! To the curb he'd go! I would never allow a man or anyone to control me like that. I'm a rebel by nature. I was in a abusive relationship in high school. Never again! Happily married for 19 years. To a man that respects me.

[LILBIT1]

Originally Posted by yorkietalkjilly

If it were me, I would go live in a shelter with my son before I live like you have to live, poor thing. No one should live like a second class citizen, and you and your son are. You do have other options - reach out to a woman's group, get yourself some counseling and find yourself a better life than this. This is a far bigger issue than dog poop. It is your self-esteem and your choice as a woman to stand up for yourself and your child that is at stake.

Agreed! Stand up for yourself, your child and your dog

[LILBIT1]

Ok I'll go away now. I seriously dislike the subject of this thread. Having lived threw an abusive $%&# and running for my life. There is plenty of help out there. Please leave, please.

[sandy simpson]

Say a prayer before you say a word to your husband. Men tend to blow and then be sorry for the idiotic way they acted later on. You must show him you are taking control of that situation. If you have to put a diaper on little Snickers I would do that. Let him know that you are very sorry that happened and you will not let it happen again. If you have to isolate Snickers do that. My Yorkies stay in the kitchen when I am gone so no dog pees on the tile. I will pray for peace to reign in your home and your husband to accept a little crap in his life. All for the love of a dog which is priceless!

[concretegurl]

I understabd your situation, it's not okay or acceptable, but I understand it.

Please find a nokill or Yorkie specific rescue that will approoruately place this baby in a forever home.

Please do not get anymore pets in your situation.

I hope you seek help for yourself and your son, even nonviolent abusers leave their marks.

Please get help you can't fix a person like this, you can only fix yourself and your situation.

I hope someone here on YT might step up, member, breeder, someone in rescue to take this senior baby and get her the help she needs.

Would you accept that help from a YTer?

[bcsouthpaw]

Thank you for all your kind words and advice. I appreciate them all. I will not be bringing anymore animals into this place, it's not fair to them and I can't take it anymore.
I am actively looking for work so I can build up some resources. Our son has life threatening medical problems that are expensive.
Unfortunately, where we live there is no women's shelter and no couselling services, they are a 1-2 hr drive away at least.
My husband has a dog himself (who he always refers to as being mine) and a big fat cat that pukes everywhere. I am going to tell him if that cat pukes one more time he's gone.
I am looking to better the situation whether it be by leaving or getting help.
Thank you for your help.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Don't you have women's shelters in the big cities that you could call and ask what to do? Here in American it seems that there are several resources women with dependent, ill children can turn to in order to get out of very bad home situations. Surely there are churches or synagogs in your area that could help direct you to help and counseling - someone to sit down and talk to. Often the religious institutions do have their own women's services and counseling, psychologists. But you need some help in dealing with what sounds like a very tough situation. I cannot imagine a man telling me I have to do anything!!! I just cannot imagine hearing those words. That must be so devastating and belittling for you. Anyone that would talk to his wife that way, "tell her how it's going to be", that sort of thing, is not cherishing that woman in the way he should, not treating her like the true companion and love of his life. He's treating you as if you are a child and you apparently feel you have to do what he says. Try to reach out and find some help where you can for you and your son and also getting that religious help of some kind. Perhaps some men in a church could talk to your husband and get him into some counseling with you while you are job-hunting and trying to set up another situation in the background. I wish you the best in job-hunting and dealing with your difficult life situation. I hope you can find some help and I will be praying for all 3 of you and that little dog of yours.

[marcie]

Praying for you at this time. It must be so difficult living
in that situation. Be safe and stay strong. God bless.

[bobohyde]

Originally Posted by bcsouthpaw

My husband has a dog himself (who he always refers to as being mine) and a big fat cat that pukes everywhere. I am going to tell him if that cat pukes one more time he's gone.

I understand wanting to lash out at your husband, but it's not his pets fault he's an @$$hole. They are just innocent animals. Don't take it out on them. Please try very hard to find a good reputable yorkie rescue for Snickers. One that will find him a forever home that he deserves. I hope your husband can be patient while you at least find this poor elderly, passed around dog a place that will help him. I just don't want him in yet another home that will later on decide they don't want and/or can't keep him either. Poor baby.

[Nancy1999]

Originally Posted by bcsouthpaw

Thank you for all your kind words and advice. I appreciate them all. I will not be bringing anymore animals into this place, it's not fair to them and I can't take it anymore.
I am actively looking for work so I can build up some resources. Our son has life threatening medical problems that are expensive.
Unfortunately, where we live there is no women's shelter and no couselling services, they are a 1-2 hr drive away at least.
My husband has a dog himself (who he always refers to as being mine) and a big fat cat that pukes everywhere. I am going to tell him if that cat pukes one more time he's gone.
I am looking to better the situation whether it be by leaving or getting help.
Thank you for your help.

I hope you can find work and become more independent, but I don't see your husband as a lost cause. Do you know anything about your husband's childhood; was he close to his family? A man who spends most of his time on his trains sounds like he's trying to escape something, and he may be treating you the way he was treated, but he can learn to do better. They say that even if the man won't go into counseling, the woman should go. Counseling can teach you how to make changes in your life that will change the way others treat you. Best of luck!

[marlenemaria]

I am so sorry all of you have to live this way.

I pray you are all able to leave this situation as quickly as possible.

May the Lord watch over Snickers, you and your son and help all of you find a better and safer place to call home.

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

I hope you can find work and become more independent, but I don't see your husband as a lost cause. Do you know anything about your husband's childhood; was he close to his family? A man who spends most of his time on his trains sounds like he's trying to escape something, and he may be treating you the way he was treated, but he can learn to do better. They say that even if the man won't go into counseling, the woman should go. Counseling can teach you how to make changes in your life that will change the way others treat you. Best of luck!

Oh, I agree, you should not give up on your marriage until you are convinced there is no hope of him changing or he's becoming a danger to you or your son. But living in a shelter for however long is necessary and/or getting counseling is not the same as a divorce - it's just getting yourself out of a second class citizen's lifestyle until you can find some resources for help, work for independence should that become critical to you and find some ways to help you deal with this type individual in a way that makes you less of a victim of his pronouncements and find ways to stay secure.

Perhaps when he sees you are busy finding a better way for yourself and your son, and, indeed, even him, he will start to make more of an effort toward being a better husband and father. Reaching out, moving out of the home, neither mean divorce but those things can provide a break from a stressful situation where one person is being treated as you are. Having a way of independence for you and your son can help you handle your husband differently as well as he perhaps begins to see you differently, starts to try to make some changes. You never can tell what the future might hold for all of you. I hope this time next year, things are far better for everybody.