Quote:
Originally Posted by Nancy1999  I hope you can find work and become more independent, but I don't see your husband as a lost cause. Do you know anything about your husband's childhood; was he close to his family? A man who spends most of his time on his trains sounds like he's trying to escape something, and he may be treating you the way he was treated, but he can learn to do better. They say that even if the man won't go into counseling, the woman should go. Counseling can teach you how to make changes in your life that will change the way others treat you. Best of luck! |
Oh, I agree, you should not give up on your marriage until you are convinced there is no hope of him changing or he's becoming a danger to you or your son. But living in a shelter for however long is necessary and/or getting counseling is not the same as a divorce - it's just getting yourself out of a second class citizen's lifestyle until you can find some resources for help, work for independence should that become critical to you and find some ways to help you deal with this type individual in a way that makes you less of a victim of his pronouncements and find ways to stay secure.
Perhaps when he sees you are busy finding a better way for yourself and your son, and, indeed, even him, he will start to make more of an effort toward being a better husband and father. Reaching out, moving out of the home, neither mean divorce but those things can provide a break from a stressful situation where one person is being treated as you are. Having a way of independence for you and your son can help you handle your husband differently as well as he perhaps begins to see you differently, starts to try to make some changes. You never can tell what the future might hold for all of you. I hope this time next year, things are far better for everybody.