Need to vent - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

MandiesMom · 12-16-2012, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nancy1999

I'm not only concerned for Snickers, I'm concerned for you. This relationship doesn't seem balanced to me. I don't know if your husband is the type that yells first and then rethinks his position, but I don't feel like one person in a relationship should have that much power. You aren't really doing anything that impacts the health of your husband, he's just annoyed. If you have no more power than this in your relationship and or your husband doesn’t strive to try to make you happy, I would hope you would see a marriage counselor. By the way, walking after eating is an easy way to get them to poop outside.

Not trying to butt my nose into your personal relationship, but I've got to agree with this. Bottom line is, you took the responsibility of the pup and hubby needs to understand that. I'd discuss things with him again once you have both calmed down. Good luck and praying that Snickers doesn't lose his home

bcsouthpaw · 12-16-2012, 08:32 PM

Snickers is a rescue and she was given to me by a friend. She is not a pup, she's a senior anywhere from 9-12 yrs old. You see my beloved Penny (rescued cat) was killed October 7th and I was absolutely gutted (still am, truth be told) and then a few weeks later Buddy (another rescued cat) had to be put down. My friend knows how very deeply I love my animals and found/rescued Snickers and gave her to me.
My husband does not love animals deeply, he loves model trains and spends thousands on them and most of his time as well.
This is not the first time I have been forced to give up an animal by him. I "had to get rid of the rats" if I wanted to keep Snickers and now it's her he is going to force me to give up and yes he is serious.
Snickers has been passed around like the perverbial hot potato, this is the third "home" she has been in that I know of. In the last one she was crated a majority of the time, nights, meals etc...
My husband is really very selfish and self-centred, my son and I are not a priority....and no I am not happy but I've nowhere to go.

Verbena · 12-16-2012, 08:48 PM

First I am sorry for your loss.. I know how hard it is to lose one cat after another. I lost two last year within a few months of each other. Second I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. I wish there was something I can do or say to make it better. We are hear for you. If there is something that you need, even just and ear please pm me. Big hugs to you.

MandiesMom · 12-16-2012, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcsouthpaw

Snickers is a rescue and she was given to me by a friend. She is not a pup, she's a senior anywhere from 9-12 yrs old. You see my beloved Penny (rescued cat) was killed October 7th and I was absolutely gutted (still am, truth be told) and then a few weeks later Buddy (another rescued cat) had to be put down. My friend knows how very deeply I love my animals and found/rescued Snickers and gave her to me.
My husband does not love animals deeply, he loves model trains and spends thousands on them and most of his time as well.
This is not the first time I have been forced to give up an animal by him. I "had to get rid of the rats" if I wanted to keep Snickers and now it's her he is going to force me to give up and yes he is serious.
Snickers has been passed around like the perverbial hot potato, this is the third "home" she has been in that I know of. In the last one she was crated a majority of the time, nights, meals etc...
My husband is really very selfish and self-centred, my son and I are not a priority....and no I am not happy but I've nowhere to go.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Penny and Buddy. I lost multiple animals in a short time frame like that before and i know how devastating it can be (it really had me in a deep depression for a good while). And, I am sorry for the position you are in now. Across the internet it is not the same, I know, but big hugs to you!

Lovetodream88 · 12-16-2012, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcsouthpaw

Snickers is a rescue and she was given to me by a friend. She is not a pup, she's a senior anywhere from 9-12 yrs old. You see my beloved Penny (rescued cat) was killed October 7th and I was absolutely gutted (still am, truth be told) and then a few weeks later Buddy (another rescued cat) had to be put down. My friend knows how very deeply I love my animals and found/rescued Snickers and gave her to me.
My husband does not love animals deeply, he loves model trains and spends thousands on them and most of his time as well.
This is not the first time I have been forced to give up an animal by him. I "had to get rid of the rats" if I wanted to keep Snickers and now it's her he is going to force me to give up and yes he is serious.
Snickers has been passed around like the perverbial hot potato, this is the third "home" she has been in that I know of. In the last one she was crated a majority of the time, nights, meals etc...
My husband is really very selfish and self-centred, my son and I are not a priority....and no I am not happy but I've nowhere to go.

Tell him No. And if he threatens to hurt you get a restraining order and have him kicked out of the house.

My lil friend · 12-16-2012, 10:02 PM

If the dog goes then the trains should go. I know that sounds tacky but I think I would simply say 'no'. I dont understand uneven demands.

KimInMD · 12-16-2012, 10:04 PM

I'm sorry for the loss of your precious kitty babies. Snickers is a senior, and seniors can have bowel and bladder issues. Baby diapers, with a hole cut for her tail, should help take care of her potty mistakes. It's not the best option, but sometimes it's necessary with our old girls. Remind hubby that someday he too will grow old. He wouldn't want you to get rid of him someday if he begins to soil himself.

lillymae · 12-17-2012, 12:04 AM

If my DH EVER said I had to get rid of ANY of my pets, he would be OUT the door. And there is Always somewhere to go.

chachi · 12-17-2012, 01:24 AM

I really feel bad for you that you are living in that situation. My Husband is a strong personality also but he would never tell me I have to get rid of a pet I love. I would tell him he has his hobbys which you tolerate and you are going to have your pet which he will have to tolerate. He only has as much power as you give him

lynzy420 · 12-17-2012, 02:01 AM

The behaviors your husband is showing are clear signs of an abuser, wether its emotional and physical abuse is unclear, definitely emotional.

As a woman I beg you to take a sincere inner inventory of yourself and your life, seek the help of a counselor FOR YOU before joint counseling. These behaviors are demonstrative of a very toxic relationship by both of you.

You mention that he has forced you to give up animals or things you love before, and yet you continue to introduce animals in to your home? For god sakes stop it, stop perpetualizing these behaviors in your relationship, its one thing for you to stay and put up with it, but to drag other animals in it and have the same outcome over and over is wrong on both your parts. I certainly hope you don't have children and if you don't please consider staying childless.

I am not trying to be harsh, I'm giving it to you straight. I work in a program where we shelter families who are fleeing husbands and fathers much like yours, I am extremely well educated on the subject and have once been a victim as well. I know and have seen firsthand what emotional and physical abuse is, your reaching out here and you know this is wrong, but you don't know how to change it and you think you can't so you continually OBEY him and do what he wants, pack a bag...don't think about it, just do it...only you can change your life, you will be ok and better for it...regardless of what you do, rehome your current pets and get your life together for you. If you stay, rehome your pets and STOP bringing new ones in, JUST STOP IT.

lynzy420 · 12-17-2012, 02:06 AM

Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships

READ THIS, READ ALL OF IT.

http://www.nationalhomeless.org/publ...s/McKinney.pdf ------This is the program I work with, and the majority of these are women and children fleeing domestic violence situations...also, if you need help feel free to contact me

TxVicki · 12-17-2012, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcsouthpaw

Snickers is a rescue and she was given to me by a friend. She is not a pup, she's a senior anywhere from 9-12 yrs old. You see my beloved Penny (rescued cat) was killed October 7th and I was absolutely gutted (still am, truth be told) and then a few weeks later Buddy (another rescued cat) had to be put down. My friend knows how very deeply I love my animals and found/rescued Snickers and gave her to me.
My husband does not love animals deeply, he loves model trains and spends thousands on them and most of his time as well.
This is not the first time I have been forced to give up an animal by him. I "had to get rid of the rats" if I wanted to keep Snickers and now it's her he is going to force me to give up and yes he is serious.
Snickers has been passed around like the perverbial hot potato, this is the third "home" she has been in that I know of. In the last one she was crated a majority of the time, nights, meals etc...
My husband is really very selfish and self-centred, my son and I are not a priority....and no I am not happy but I've nowhere to go.

WOW What a very sad way to live.

Lil Sis · 12-17-2012, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyGirl Rosie

Keep the dog get rid if the man. That's all I'm going to say.

I totally agree. Do it now while the doing is good!!! What a jerk!!!
So... one day the dh may be ill and he could be the one having potty accidents-- should you wait till then to get ride of him?????????????

R_Z · 12-17-2012, 07:09 AM

Sounds like you don't have an equal partnership in this relationship. In order to care for the dog properly, you need to take a good look at your marriage.

Susan78 · 12-17-2012, 08:32 AM

That is awful for your husband to tell you to get rid of your fur baby. Tell him if you have a child that has problems you do not get rid of that kid. In my book I guess it would be keep the dog and get rid of him.

12-16-2012, 08:48 PM	#18
Verbena Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: with my flying monkeys Posts: 15,620 Blog Entries: 7	First I am sorry for your loss.. I know how hard it is to lose one cat after another. I lost two last year within a few months of each other. Second I am so sorry for the situation that you are in. I wish there was something I can do or say to make it better. We are hear for you. If there is something that you need, even just and ear please pm me. Big hugs to you. __________________ Teri . . . Galen Jameson Frazier Seraphina Luna Rosencrantz, Saber Tooth Tiger, Pussy Willow Pandora Guildenstern

12-16-2012, 10:04 PM	#22
KimInMD Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Baltimore, MD. Posts: 1,078	I'm sorry for the loss of your precious kitty babies. Snickers is a senior, and seniors can have bowel and bladder issues. Baby diapers, with a hole cut for her tail, should help take care of her potty mistakes. It's not the best option, but sometimes it's necessary with our old girls. Remind hubby that someday he too will grow old. He wouldn't want you to get rid of him someday if he begins to soil himself. __________________ Kim- Mom to Lola, Mia, Allie, and Lucy, always in my heart

12-17-2012, 01:24 AM	#24
chachi I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 37,147	I really feel bad for you that you are living in that situation. My Husband is a strong personality also but he would never tell me I have to get rid of a pet I love. I would tell him he has his hobbys which you tolerate and you are going to have your pet which he will have to tolerate. He only has as much power as you give him __________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431 Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427

12-17-2012, 02:01 AM	#25
lynzy420 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: USA Posts: 7,652	The behaviors your husband is showing are clear signs of an abuser, wether its emotional and physical abuse is unclear, definitely emotional. As a woman I beg you to take a sincere inner inventory of yourself and your life, seek the help of a counselor FOR YOU before joint counseling. These behaviors are demonstrative of a very toxic relationship by both of you. You mention that he has forced you to give up animals or things you love before, and yet you continue to introduce animals in to your home? For god sakes stop it, stop perpetualizing these behaviors in your relationship, its one thing for you to stay and put up with it, but to drag other animals in it and have the same outcome over and over is wrong on both your parts. I certainly hope you don't have children and if you don't please consider staying childless. I am not trying to be harsh, I'm giving it to you straight. I work in a program where we shelter families who are fleeing husbands and fathers much like yours, I am extremely well educated on the subject and have once been a victim as well. I know and have seen firsthand what emotional and physical abuse is, your reaching out here and you know this is wrong, but you don't know how to change it and you think you can't so you continually OBEY him and do what he wants, pack a bag...don't think about it, just do it...only you can change your life, you will be ok and better for it...regardless of what you do, rehome your current pets and get your life together for you. If you stay, rehome your pets and STOP bringing new ones in, JUST STOP IT. __________________ The Above advice/comments/reviews are my personal opinions based on my own experience/education/investigation and research and you can take them any way you want to......Or NOT!!!

12-17-2012, 02:06 AM	#26
lynzy420 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: USA Posts: 7,652	Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships READ THIS, READ ALL OF IT. http://www.nationalhomeless.org/publ...s/McKinney.pdf ------This is the program I work with, and the majority of these are women and children fleeing domestic violence situations...also, if you need help feel free to contact me __________________ The Above advice/comments/reviews are my personal opinions based on my own experience/education/investigation and research and you can take them any way you want to......Or NOT!!! Last edited by lynzy420; 12-17-2012 at 02:11 AM.

12-16-2012, 08:32 PM	#17
bcsouthpaw Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: BC, Canada Posts: 21	Snickers is a rescue and she was given to me by a friend. She is not a pup, she's a senior anywhere from 9-12 yrs old. You see my beloved Penny (rescued cat) was killed October 7th and I was absolutely gutted (still am, truth be told) and then a few weeks later Buddy (another rescued cat) had to be put down. My friend knows how very deeply I love my animals and found/rescued Snickers and gave her to me. My husband does not love animals deeply, he loves model trains and spends thousands on them and most of his time as well. This is not the first time I have been forced to give up an animal by him. I "had to get rid of the rats" if I wanted to keep Snickers and now it's her he is going to force me to give up and yes he is serious. Snickers has been passed around like the perverbial hot potato, this is the third "home" she has been in that I know of. In the last one she was crated a majority of the time, nights, meals etc... My husband is really very selfish and self-centred, my son and I are not a priority....and no I am not happy but I've nowhere to go.

12-16-2012, 10:02 PM	#21
My lil friend Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: FtWorth,TX,USA Posts: 3,269	If the dog goes then the trains should go. I know that sounds tacky but I think I would simply say 'no'. I dont understand uneven demands.

12-17-2012, 12:04 AM	#23
lillymae YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Idaho Posts: 4,544	If my DH EVER said I had to get rid of ANY of my pets, he would be OUT the door. And there is Always somewhere to go.

12-17-2012, 07:09 AM	#29
R_Z Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Memphis, TN USA Posts: 1,078	Sounds like you don't have an equal partnership in this relationship. In order to care for the dog properly, you need to take a good look at your marriage.

12-17-2012, 08:32 AM	#30
Susan78 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Hibbing Minnesota Posts: 1,107	That is awful for your husband to tell you to get rid of your fur baby. Tell him if you have a child that has problems you do not get rid of that kid. In my book I guess it would be keep the dog and get rid of him.