Post Puppy Depression:(
 

I just got Marley 2 days ago....he is the perfect puppy. He has had a few accidents, but that’s to be expected. Other than that, he is cool. He cries no more than 2 mins in his pen before he falls asleep or starts playing with a toy, he is calm when needed, plays, and is just a fun loving affectionate little guy. He is just so perfect. But…I feel like giving him back to the breeder:(

This happened to me before in 2007, I got a yorkie, feltcompletely restricted and overwhelmed, and ended up giving him back the nextday. I regretted it, and always missed that puppy. Even when I found out that he was placed with a sweet older woman, I still felt sad. Now back to Marley....to explain, I feel like my life is no longer my life, I feel like I can’t go out to have a drink anymore (even though I hardly did before marley), I have these thoughts of every moment, every day now, I must consider this little guy.Where he is going to go, how he is going to eat, etc. If a friend says lets go to the beach this weekend. I cant just be spontaneous anymore. I will have to pack him all up to go or make arrangements for him. I don’t know if growing up an only child plays a part, I’ve been on my own for a while now, was alone alot as a kid as well. Him coming into my life felt liberating in the beginning. If felt like finally I was stepping outside of thebox, and doing something I really wanted without worrying about how my life may change. I took a leap of faith. If you see my previous posts, you can see how excited I was. Now…all I can do is cry.

I have thoughts of calling the breeder with some story about how the landlord changed his mind and I can nolonger have pets, something…anything to get my life back. Anyhting to wake up in my apt alone again and feel like my freedom is back. I don't want to lose all that money I paid to get him, but if they told me they would take him back but I wouldnt get any of my money back, the sad part is....I still would consider it:( Thats how sad and restricted I feel:( I cried lastnight, I am crying now....

As you may know by my reaction to this, I don’t have kids, I'm 28,I have my own apt, car, good job in a small office (which I planned on taking him tuesday to meet everyone, hoping he can stay some days). This shouldnt be that serious at this point but maybe if I did have kids this would be an easier adjustment?? I spoke to a friend who lives an hour away about her yorkie, she already has 5 kids, she said getting her yorkie was nothing major because he was just like another kid added to the mix. I dont know anything about that.

What is wrong with me? Marley is so perfect in every way. He goes on his pee pads, hardly cries, sleeps all day. If I give him back, I may never get another like him. And what about Marley, its not fair to him to have him meet me, get used to my house, his pen, then give him back. I hate myself for this, I really do.....my inability to deal with change.

To add to injury, my mom....who was there thru the first time I gave my yorkieback 5 years ago....well Marley and I were over her house tonight, she was so in love with him and everything was great. Only…he wouldnt go #2, so she kept taking him to the peepad so he would go, and he wouldn’t, I took him…he wouldn’t….we tried and tried, and he just wouldn’t so I figured maybe he just didn’t have to….as soonas she gave up and walked away, he pooped about 3 ft away from the pee pad onher kitchen tile (not wood, just easy to clean tile). I didn’t think she would be upset, as we both hadbeen trying to work with him, she saw my efforts and how hard I tried. Yet instill she stormed out of the kitchen and said “THAT’S IT!!! IT’S TIME FOR YOUTWO TO GO! HE IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY, I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS!!!!” I was shocked and sad. The thought of it now is making me cry. It turned a ood evening with Marley into pure sadness. I thought surely that she would say something like “Oh Marley.Well we tried.” You know, something understanding like that. It just made me feel even more worse, even more restricted. I cried the whole way home.

I love Marley but I feel even more like my life is not the same. Sure its nice when people come up to us and greet marley, people smile just to see him, and thats nice. At his vet visit, the nurses and vet techs couldnt stop gushing over him, it was cute...but when we come home and its just me and him, I fear my freedom, my carefree life has been turned upside down….I feel so sad. Please help. And please leave all bashing, critisizing, and simply mean comments to yourself. It took alot for me to share this with you. I want people to know they are not alone. And hopefully get some advice.

Please tell me this is a joke.

The puppy is only 9 WEEKS old, and you're expecting him to poop on command? Who's saying you can't go out for drinks? He'll be fine for a few hours by himself. A weekend away? Yes, you'll have to make arrangements - but only after he's had all of his shots at about 16 weeks.

Oh boy, I hardly know what to say about what you are feeling. It is true your life will never be the same again; but surely that is one of the reasons you brought a puppy into your life.
Pause for a moment and think about all those wonderful reasons why you have Marley.

I can say it gets easier to plan and incorporate a doggy into your life. There are options like doggy day care, personal pet sitting, finding all the neat places you and your pup can go. After all it is summertime, and once your pup finishes his shots, there are outside patios to enjoy a cuppa, hiking trails, swimming ponds etc.

You now have a "child" that is counting on you!. Take a deep breath, hug your pup. Go on out and buy a toy for you and your pup to play with today. If you have a purse carrier you can place him in it, and take a nice walk today.

You are truly in control of what you tell yourself. So dwell, if you must dwell, on all the positive aspects of doggy ownership.
Make plans with a doggy friend today, drop by for a visit.

It took courage to post what you posted; so.... TAKE that COURAGE and tell yourself, I can do this, I want to do this! These other thoughts are just self defeating mosquitoes I insist on worrying myself with.

Who said anything about me expecting him to poop on command. If you READ my post, it says I expect him to have accidents. That doesnt even have anything to do with my reason for posting this!

I can't stand some of you on here. Forget it. So closed minded.

Potty training is tough. Don't be so hard on yourself. It takes time, patience and practice. It's just all part of it and it'll fly by before you know it.

Your life has changed, but not necessary for the worse. I think you're looking at this as though you have a child. It's not the same thing. You have a buddy now. Someone who will love you unconditionally. Don't look at Marley like he's this big, huge responsibility. Look at him as your friend. Someone to keep you company on cold nights, someone to cuddle with. Someone who will wipe your tears away when you cry. When you have to go somewhere, take him with you as often as you can. If you want to go out with friends and catch a movie, Marley will be ok in his pen for a few hours. He'll be glad to see you home when you walk in the door. If you want to go on vacation, have someone you trust that will babysit him. Or board him with your vet. It's really not as hard as you think.

You'll adjust. You just need to give yourself time and credit. This is all new to you but we're always here to help when you need it.

Its not unusual to feel overwhelmed when you have a new pup i think you should give it some time

Thank you Gemy....for your encouragement. I love him so much, I've wanted him forever. I am going to get dressed and enjoy this day...with Marley. I'm sure things will get better.

Thanks....this is all so new, it feels so different, but it's time I get out of my norm alittle. I will consider the help I do have. And you're right deadbug, I like looking at him as a new buddy, a friend...not a child. When I think of Marley as my child I break down, I feel I can never leave him alone EVER, I feel bound to him and chained to him. I cant feel like that, it wont work that way.

It's easy to get through this. Trust me. I'm an only child and probably one of the most selfish people I know, but I'd fight till the death for my dogs and kids. I'm frustrated with our new puppy, Issy right now but instead of reacting, I'm going to try to find a solution (the little brat pee'd on my bed and untrained Gabby - more on that later)

You need to retrain yourself.

Bathtime? It's not a chore. Ever have one of those barbie dress up heads? You know, the ones you can blowdry, style, cut and brush the hair? Yep... you have a live one now.

Mealtimes? No problem. Now you have someone to have dinner with EVERY night.

Bedtime? (wait until after potty trained!), you have someone to cuddle with.

Errands to run? Cool beans. You have someone to talk to while you're driving. Trust me, he'll understand when you explode at the guy who cuts you off.

Companionship? yep yep! I love having someone to talk to that doesn't point out my flaws an argue with me. With my girls, I'm always right, no matter how ridiculous it sounds to humans. LOVE that!

Deadbug, you are awesome! I was about to sear for the "delete thread" button, but you know what, whether there is such a button or not, I am keeping this post up because I know I am not the only person who ever felt like their life would never be the same after the honeymoon phase of a new puppy. I feel better already, thank you truly. I am about to take a shower, get Marley up (yes, he has been sleeping since I fed him this morning, he is a lazy little crumb snacha and I love it:) ) and we are going out to enjoy this holiday weekend.

And to the person who feels the same way I do/did but you may have been too afraid to post a thread on it...I hope this helps you.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: You are awesome Deadbug in name and advice;). Marleymylove take Deadbugs advice. It can be very overwhelming at first but soon you will wonder what you did before Marley. I look at Georgie and wonder it all the time:D

Very well said everyone, it will get better each day and just remember he is your buddy and not your baby..Enjoy..

:thumbup::thumbup: As always great advice too:D

Just WOW. What happened to "Go Team Marley"???

OK.....no "mean comments", no bashing, no criticism.....just a mature, rational approach, just facts to address your request for advice: Did you read any material at all before this purchase, ESPECIALLY in light of your experiencs with your first puppy? I am curious what in the world led you to this particular breed? Yorkies are essentially like children and want to be every much as integrated into your life as a child would be! Being a responsible pet owner involves committment to that pet. That goes with any breed....but Yorkies are not like any other breed. They MUST have an owner that is as completely devoted and loyal to them, as they are to their owner. That does require a sense of responsibility and accountability to that baby....that little soul deserves NO LESS than an owner that at the very least, thinks of him in the very same thought and breath as you think of yourself. Yorkies do not thrive if they are not adored and included in the new owners life, as an INTRICATE AND IMPORTANT part of the family. Behavioral issues and separation anxiety behavior will evolve in what was a perfectly well adjusted little dog! My advise to you or anyone with this same sense of overwhelming constraints on your " unbridled, young, carefree, spontaneous, lifestyle", would be to allow that baby to go back to the breeder, so he can be placed with someone that does put him and his needs above their own. That will allow this beautiful baby, who seems so very well adjusted and with very few of the generally accepted and expected "puppy behavioral faults", to blossom and grow into a well adjusted, well socialized, loving, devoted, loyal, involved and included, family member. This baby does not deserve to be short changed. I just dont think you are at a place in your life where you are ready to give that total committment to ANY other soul, be it mate, child, or pet. No bashing or critisizing....just my personal feelings and advise...if I was the breeder, and it was my baby, I would want that baby back, so he could be placed where he would get 100% committment from a new owner. But I do want to add....do some research on different breeds before you choose another puppy. Wait until you actually feel in your heart that you are ready to accept another life into your own realm of existance, so that you do not have the resentment you feel now ie., your coming and going unrestrained by the wants or needs of another living thing is more of an inconvenience than a joy....When the wants and needs and demands of a puppy surpasses your own desires, then you are ready to include a puppy into your lifestyle. I am sorry if you feel I have beat you up on this...as a breeder, and as someone that is completely devoted to this breed and responsible for any baby that is ever brought into this world by what I do as a breeder, I will ALWAYS come down on the side of the puppy.....the puppy has my thoughts and concerns for what is best for the puppy, first and foremost, above all else. You are an adult, you are a human, you are a thinking, reasoning entity, completly capable of independence and not relying on another human being....that puppy is not that fortunate. That baby was dependent on the breeder to select the very best life circumstance and forever home to send that baby into. In the event THAT fails, it is on YOUR conscience to do what is best for that baby.

Thank you to everyone bringing positivity my way. Just the fact of not looking at him as a child anymore....I feel better already:)

I think every one feels overwhelmed after they get a puppy. I know I had a moment of "what did I do??!" But I can honestly say that I fell in love with him the moment I brought him home - we had a connection.

Yes my life would probably be easier in a lot of ways without him, but he makes up for it in what he gives me. To be honest, my life would be so boring without him. He is my partner in crime.

If you feel you can't give this pup a good home, then give him back now. Don't wait until he becomes attached to you and then make him leave. :( That would be very unfair.

Also, not everyone is going to feel an instant connection with a new puppy. Give it time. I've heard of some people that could barely stand their puppy until they reached 6 months old or so. They loved them, but didn't have that connection...

So give it time, or if you KNOW it's not going to work out, send him back now.

I never said I can't give him a good home. I love this little guy, he is so sweet....he is fine. It's me I am speaking of and how I feel. I've been all up under him, loving him and playing with him, my feeling are within. But I rather not continue going on and on about this. I am mature enough to make the right decision....but I thank all comments, even the ones who say hurry and give him back. No worries....I will give it time. I know I am not alone.

p.s- so many people have come forward in private through inbox telling me they felt the same way when they got their puppy, so just knowing I am not alone, I feel much better. Thank you everyone.

In all honesty, the fastest way to bond with your pup is take an obedience class together. You can't do this until after all his vaccines are complete, but as soon as you can, do it. And then set aside the time to work on what you learned each day.

No one gives up a well trained, well behaved dog. The bond you create from watching him trying to please you is indescribable. Plus, it gives you both something to "do" together... a goal to work towards. Before you know it, you'll be teaching him tricks and he'll be happily learning all the way. Yorkies are incredibly intelligent dogs. They catch on fast to the good and the bad. They don't like being idle and they enjoy figuring out what it is you're asking for. They wait for that positive reaction.

When i first got Raelle..she was my life, she went everywhere with me! So when her breeder asked me if i wanted her brother, I jumped at the chance of having two! For some reason i thought he would be just like his sister...WRONG! He is polar opposite...where she is calm, he his rambunctious, always going. My thought was to give him back, I thought to myself what have I done?! My fiance talked me out of it...bless his heart, he told me give it time,he's a good dog. I'm glad I listened(I'm not one to listen)..he is not at all what I expected, but He's still here, driving me nuts! I cant imagine my life without him...he is far more needy than Raelle is where he always has to be right under me at all times..always kissing, always loving, and far bigger than his sister..all 10lbs of him. Raelle is 6'5lbs...remember I thought i was getting another Raelle. Hang in there, I know you already love him, you will regret giving him back..Pack him into your purse and away you go. You can still do all the things you were doing before you got Marley and will be better for it. I still take both dogs everywhere I go, although Orion makes me crazy sometimes,I wouldnt have it any other way....AND, I'm looking to add a third! If you need to vent you can pm me. It's gonna be okay..trust me I've been there.

There is nothing wrong with what your feeling, it is a big responsibility to have a Yorkie or ANY dog (cats included). Your young and the future seems scary when your making "mind movies"! Imagining going through ANYTHING is worse than going through it!!! And just for the record Marley will be making you too busy soon to think about anything!!!

We are here for you, don't get discouraged, keep yourself busy, spend time with your pup, it will all work out!

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

Give Marley a big hug for me. I understand how overwhelmed you feel. Just take it one day at a time.

Just take a deep breath. You were so filled with excitement and anticipation waiting for Marley, and now reality is here and it is overwhelming. It's scary too. Just take it one day at a time. It is a new adjustment for both of you. Read the threads here about potty training and like other people have suggested, take an obedience course together. Marley will learn and you will both have fun together. Good luck.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup: And really obedience training starts the moment you receive your pup.

A small share, after working with Magic for 18months, we went to our first obedience competition; this was for real, it was for his CD title. I was so so nervous. Imagine my pride when we got first in class three out of three competitions; that is scoring highest marks for our competitive group.

I have never ever done this before. That bond built over hundreds mayhap by now, thousands of hours of working together. And it truly is together. We count on each other.

Razzle our Yorkie is just starting out in the competitive world of obedience. But we have built a strong bond already, through play in lots of places, he has travelled all over the States sometimes with me, sometimes with a handler. We've hiked and camped together.

But I rarely go anywhere without a pup or two with me. Such a joy to have doggies in the car. And they love love the car rides with Mommy.

As I type both doggies are lying by my feet. My life would be so empty without their warmth, their joy, their love.

I just want to say performance sports of all kinds really rock with your dog! You also get to socialize with like minded folks and dogs.

There is Earth Dog trials, Rally, agility, flyball, dock diving, obedience, weight pull(teehee) I'm going to show up one day with Razzle. And this summer we are going to take the Herding Test just for a blast! I can't wait to see the testers face when I exit the car with a Big Blackie and a wee Yorkie:D

I won't lie... puppies are hard work. But don't fool yourself... you say you're keeping your feelings inside... but Yorkies can sense what you're thinking and feeling. You'll have to get all negative thoughts about him or having him out of your head. If you need a moment here and there to feel bad... go in another room and do it.

When puppies grow up it's more rewarding, especially if they've been trained correctly and don't have any major issues. Peek a Boo came home with me at 5 years old. Two of my older dogs had passed. Then it was nice... everything ran like clockwork. They knew the schedule and followed it. Peek didn't. He would hide from me and constantly was into things he shouldn't be. I thought I was getting an older dog... now at 15 he still acts like a puppy! I just know now what I need to do for him, and he has settled in very well, and we have bonded and are best friends, which is most important.

I used to go out on occassion, but now I'd really rather stay home to be with my dogs. It's always more fun! (and alot safer!)

It's good to be honest about your feelings.
Dinky is so integrated into our lives now, but yes, sometimes, I do realize I do not have the same freedom I enjoyed before we got him.
In the end, it's a trade off. I love having him more than I miss being not tied down.
Also, Yorkies are hard to train. Just keep at it. You ARE making progress. Eventually your pup will get it.
All relationships take time and patience. Maybe that wasn't modeled for you so much. You can do it. I'm not the most confident person in the world. I tend to doubt myself sometimes, but this little dog can teach you that you can do it!
Learn about yourself in the process. Dogs can teach us so much about patience!
Bless you and your pup. You are going to be fine.

This will come across as negative BUT I want it to be positive. Sounds like you are in the phase of life that "it's all about me". You can recognize this by the number of times you state your feelings about being restricted in your socal life. Give the pup back to the breeder. Get a fish. They can go for several days without constant care.

I pomise that things wil get better, just give it a chance, soon you wont be able to imagine your life without him. You can still go out and have a social life, of course if you are going to be gone over night you will have to make plans for him, but to go out for a couple hours just make sure he is in a safe spot with water and food. BTW your mother should not have gotten upset with him he is just a pup and in a new place he doesn't know what is expected out of him yet, and if it were me I would tell her that!!! Basically just give it time...