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I can't really relate to how your feeling as I have always had pets, they are my life. I literally grew up taking care of my golden retriever. When I was 12, I got my first dog that was totally my responsibility and have owned many dogs since. I love having them, they make my life so much richer, I can't imagine life without them. I don't care what I'm missing out on, one look into their eyes and I'm hooked. I won't lie though, puppies are tough, especially yorkies when it comes to training. It takes a lot of time and patience and unfortunately not everyone has that. If you are willing to put in the time and effort, the end result will be very rewarding. You just have to make it through the hard times. Maybe your mistake was getting a puppy. I think if you had gone with an adult that was already trained, you might not feel so overwhelmed. Puppies can be overwhelming with the chewing and accidents and how much they depend on you and just how much responsibility they require. I love young puppies, (12 weeks and under) but once they reach that age I am eager for them to grow up because I know as an adult they will be wonderful. I believe if you really want to make it work out, you will. Just take one day at a time and remind yourself that it will be tough starting out but the end will be amazing. |
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Ya know, I really admire you for speaking up and sharing your feelings - that takes a lot of courage -- and actually, it shows how much you really DO care for Marley, bc you're willing to take the risk of starting a potentially sensitive subject...for the goal and hope of making it better for Marley and you, and understanding whatever the feelings are. That's wonderful :). This thread already contains some staggeringly good advice, so I've really nothing to add in terms of suggestions. My take on what you're going through is that you're very, very overwhelmed - and that's okay, and that's normal. Literally tell yourself that it's OK to feel overwhelmed...often just giving yourself the permission and acknowledgement can be a great relief to some of the anxiety. I can get very overwhelmed by things too - and when I get that way, I can really let my brain get into a spiral of catastrophic thinking, as in "OMG, why did I get this puppy? WHAT was I thinking? It's too much, I can't handle it, I'm a bad dog Mom. I'm horrible for having anxiety about this puppy. I'm a failure at being a puppy Mom after 2 days. OMG, what am I going to do?" -- yup, yup, I'm sure we've alllllll been there, at one time or another. Keep breathing, have patience not just for that puppy (as you already do) but also for YOU - this is a huge new responsibility and experience. Maybe pat yourself on the back a little bit for taking this so seriously, and having such strong feelings, and identifying your fears -- that's not a bad thing, at all! All of this awareness you're experiencing is what will get you thru to the other side of it. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if needed....and tell yourself you don't have to make any decision right this minute. Create some space around that anxiety so you have a little room to stretch and relax. And cuddle up w/ that puppy for some puppy breath. :love: |
aww, doll don't worry you feel soon feel better. puppies can be challanging, i understand your frustration. Hang in there, we are all here to support you *hugs* |
I don't know you, so I am just basing my comments on a lot of self centered girls I know your age (LOL I was one once myself). You might be nothing like any of those girls, however after seeing one of your first threads where you were wondering if you could still work out in the am and have a puppy and now this thread where in just two days you are worrying if you will ever be able to go out for drink or have a life I can't help but wonder if you are really ready for a puppy. Maybe since you were an only child you grew up having everything revolve around you and are not ready to take a back seat to a puppy's needs, maybe you have seen too many young celebrities like Paris Hilton tote their yorkies around like accessories and now that he is is peeing, pooping, chewing, etc you realize you have to deal with these things. If this rings just a little true, don't be ashamed, lots of single girls your age would not want to be tied down by a puppy. I speak from experience, at 28 I was single, traveling with my job, dating a lot of different guys, working out, and going out all the time, I never would have wanted a puppy. However at 30 I was still single, but something clicked and I wanted a puppy, I choose a yorkie because in reviewing the airline information it was one of the breeds that I could be sure I could take on a plane with me. I got Reggie and he became the love of my life in an instance, at first I had no desire to go anywhere that he could not go or be smuggled in to. I took him to art fairs, outdoor restaurants, shopping, the park, singles volleyball games, single canoe trips, I took him around the country on business trips, he even flew to Aspen on a ski trip with me. Obviously after having him a while things settled down and a I resumed a normal life where I went out without him. But all I know is when I first got him the last thing I though about was leaving him so I could go have a drink, instead my friends came for drinks at my house. IMHO when you first get a puppy, if you really want a puppy, you are so over the moon that all you want to do is be with your puppy and don't immediately start wanting to go out partying. I am 56 now and Reggie started my love affair with the breed and since him the longest I have gone without one is a year. 28 and single is still young for a puppy, so don't be ashamed if you are not ready. Good Luck with whatever you decide. |
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Thank you:) |
I was overwhelmed when I got chester but now I cannot imagine life without him it is a adjustment like everything in life, give yourself some time |
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HI! Soooo I was 28, living on my own, freshly single from a 10 year relationship, working full time and eventually I went back to school nights, when I got my 2 puppies at 9 weeks old. It CAN be a bit overwhelming, but I do think you are OVER thinking the responsibility. My boys were just fine home alone, gated safely into the kitchen area of my house with their bed, toys, pee pads and some water and kibble. Yes, potty training may become a battle because it's just you and you may be away a bit longer than he can hold it, so just know you need to be patient and that you may never fully get him potty trained. My boys are almost 7 years old now and still have some issues with potty training. Not every day but a few times a week still. Annoying and frustrating, but they are worth it! You CAN have a life and be single and have a dog. You need to decide what is the MOST IMPORTANT thing to you. Ive had to say no to weekend getaways and stuff sometimes because I had no one to watch the dogs. Oh well... to me, the rare occasions that happens vs the happiness they give me on a day - to - day basis is totally worth it. But to me, they are my companions, my friends, my babies. When I cry, there they are, kissing me, cuddling me, when I laugh, there they are, mostly bc they are the cause of my laughter! Dogs are work, no doubt. Small dogs I think are easier in some ways bc we can take them a lot more places than bigger dogs with minimal hassle. When you take your dog somewhere, don't think you need to pack like you do for a child. I bring my boys, a crate, their leashes & harnesses are on them and some food and bowls for water (they make a duel canvas food & water bowl that is cheap and easy to grab, collapses and holds both the food & the water. Thats it. Thats all I bring with me. When we are out, they don't eat treats, they don't play with toys, they are more curious about all the new scenery and stuff so I don't weigh myself down with tons of things for them that they do not need or won't use, eat, or look at. You are going to have many challenges over the next few months with trying to potty train, the chewing phase, grooming, walking on leash, the escape artist he will become, its life with a dog. Now on another note.... did you seriously think it through before getting Marley considering you said you did this about 5 years ago? I think in a way, when you get a pet, you kind of set down roots. You provide a home, a safe place for another living being, which in turn, makes a safe place for you. Keep your pup and keep your Xpen handy always, it will come in REAL handy when he's teething and chewing everything. (mine ate my kitchen cabinets and chewed holes in the sheet rock of my walls, wish I knew about Xpens back then!). In return you are going to be adored, loved unconditionally and unable to stay upset for long with your furry little goof ball. Also I have learned that I need to respect others wishes about my dogs when in their territory. I won't bring my boys certain places and other people (like my Dad) won't allow my dogs at their house. I limit my visits to a couple hours and remind him every time that I have to get home to the dogs. I find that I don't enjoy someone's company as much as I used to, when they don't like or welcome my dogs. My Dad told me my dogs were needy, so now I leave them home and only visit him for 2-3 hours at a time max. Oh well, his loss. They truly are my #1 priority. :D :) Good Luck! Stop crying and get up and PLAY or CUDDLE with your little man! He'll be around a long time and you are going to wonder how you ever lived your life without him in it! I just know it! |
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could also mean her mom knows her better than we do |
fair enough. :) there is a lot of assuming on my part here for sure. |
Now would be a nice time for OP to post and update us??? |
The change that a new puppy can bring into your house can be so overwhelming. Many nights I would go in my shower turn it on, and just cry so I didn't have to hear Gizmo crying in the crate. It got better, but it was rough. I posted on here many times at 4 in the morning, asking - pleading? - that it would get better. Thankfully it did, and despite many, many, many sleepless nights and terrible mornings at work. It worked. Some people, during certain times of their lives, aren't cut out for pet ownership. That doesn't mean that you'll never be ready, just not right now. However, it's how you handle the situation that will make you a good pet owner. If you can't do it right now, then taking your pup back to the breeder I think is the most responsible and loving thing that you can do for your baby. That would ultimately be putting your pup's needs before your own, and thus making you a responsible pet owner. Good luck, and keep us posted. |
I totally know how you feel. I love animals more than anything in the world, and i have 4 dogs, but i have had those moments of feeling like i was gonna cry if they didnt just leave me alone for one second. But like already mentioned, when u realize they are a dog,not a child, and its okay if they get left alone, and take time for yourself, it is soo much easier. 3 of my dogs are 5 years old, and 1 is 1 yr old, and i couldnt imagine my life without any of them, but at times i feel totally overwelmed. When this happens i put them all in a kennel and lay down and relax. I need this sometimes , and i know they are totally fine if they have to stay in a kennel for an hour. |
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I can relate I can relate to how you are feeling. When I first got Giorgio, I was overwhelmed. I have two sons and a husband. My husband bought Giorgi for me for Vday 2011. When he brought him home, I was shocked. I had nothing for him to sleep on, no dish to eat out of etc. I made the husband run to Walmart and grab some things till the next day. He was a handful. I wanted a dog but I wasnt expecting to get one at that point. I remember being on edge when got a hold of something and got sick. He was throwing up his water. My husband woke me up to tell me and I remember crying and being worried. He was fine after a few hours. I woke up and found these little eyes looking at me. He had a soft crate and figured out how to open it. Potty training was difficult. Then suddenly my husband got all up in arms because I was paying Giorgi more attention than him. I had actually considered giving Giorgi back just so the family could calm down. The only one that bonded with him were me and my youngest who is autistic. I remember looking into those cute eyes and realizing there was no way I was letting Giorgi go anywhere. He has been a huge help. See prior to him coming into our lives, I barely saw my youngest son, he would only come out of his room to eat clean himself up. Now I see my son daily. Giorgi pulled me out my depression and I am thankful, even when he's being a little brat, I never lash out at him or get angry. Last night was a perfect example. We had a storm here last night. As long as I can remember Giorgi hates car rides and lightning, some times he can kinda calm down, most times not. I am functioning off 2 hours of sleep because Giorgi kept barking and whining/pacing in his crate. I couldnt leave him like that so I kept getting up with him finally I laid on the couch for about 30 minutes, he finally settled down. I put him back in his crate and I went to sleep. I swear before I knew it, it was time for me to get up. I work from home, so I am on a schedule. Yeah right now I am tired, but I think of all the joy he has and continues to bring into my life. I was so glad when he got pee pad trained at a year old I didnt know what to do. I even learned about home cooking for him, which I enjoy. Give it some time, by the time he is 6 months, you will slowly get some of your freedom back. He can go to doggy day care once he gets his shots and you can find a great place to board him when you go on trips. I am very thankful for the place I board Giorgi at . She really loves what she does and it shows. Hang in there it gets better. Its very brave of you to post this and as you can see, you're not alone. Stay strong, that lil guy will worship the ground you walk on. |
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Well, it's been 3 years now and Ginger has made her own place in my heart. She is my baby girl, my shadow, my love. Getting her was in no way a bad decision. She is very different from my precious Sunny, but she is loved so much! I wouldn't trade her for anything! Hang in there. Being overwhelmed with a puppy is normal. It will get better and you will have more freedom down the road. I'm an only child too. I think that is actually why my yorkies are so important to me. They aren't just dogs - they are family! :D |
The OP sent me an email- She said that she did return Marley to the breeder- She feels it isn't her time for a puppy right now, she had to do what was best for herself and of course Marley- Not sure if she will come back on, but I thought I would let you guys know an update! |
OMG!!!! Wow! |
Thanks for the update |
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Well, I hope Marley finds a wonderful forever home next time & the OP can find her own happiness elsewhere. Maybe a grown cat would be a better fit since many of them don't seem so needy as dogs & many seem to prefer being alone. My friend who has had cats all of her life tells me sometimes she doesn't see hers for hours - it goes to a closet shelf or gets into the bathtub & dozes. I asked her if it were ill & she said "Oh, no, all of my cats have been like this. I prefer it. She will come & cuddle once in a while". She thinks dogs are far too much trouble & always under foot & "needy", says she loves having an independent housemate for her & her husband as they both work/travel a lot. They have a catsitter come in when they leave town & she tells me the catsitter says the cat disappears on her, too, coming out only to eat/drink/poop. Another girl I used to work with said her two cats were practically care free & far easier to care for than dogs but were there for you when you needed a pet to talk to or cuddle. Might work out better for OP. |
Thank You for sharing the information. Every one who poured their heart out trying to help the OP thank you so much. You make me proud to be a member of Yorkie Talk. "Some times a good breeder does not adopt a puppy to some one, because it just doesn't feel right. When I placed puppies I learned more about people by the questions they asked, that the ones I asked." T. Radcliff Hugs |
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[quote=Teresa Ford;3933050]Thank You for sharing the information. Every one who poured their heart out trying to help the OP thank you so much. You make me proud to be a member of Yorkie Talk. :thumbup: I agree!! Quote:
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thanks for the update lovesandp...however i am saddened by this news. Hopefully Marley will be placed with another mommy or daddy who is ready to love and care for him, and i hope OP will be much better prepared if she decides to go this route next time. I agree with Teresa thanks to all who responded with words of encouragement and advice. YTERS you are truly a special group of people ....I am sooo happy to be a part of this forum. |
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